Paris Hilton in a swimsuit

June 1st, 2009 // 88 Comments

Here’s Paris Hilton shooting a commercial for her hair extensions line over the weekend. I don’t exactly know how seeing Paris in a swimsuit will entice another woman to buy hair products, but I do know it enticed me to wrap five garbage bags and a suit of armor around my penis the next time I have sex. Or hire a stunt double. It’s a toss-up.

superficial

  1. Rachell

    I kind of like that swimsuit. Reminds me of what Leiloo wore in the 5th element :)

  2. Racer X

    Yawn.

  3. Frank Lucas' Bitch

    She actually looks really hot in these….I love the hair and the sexy white swim suit, she doesn’t look like a horse (as she usually does) but rather a bit more like a model.
    ….did I just praise Paris? AHHHHH god damn it *shoots shotgun in the face*

  4. @1 ghey

    Paris in a bikini, again? Never can have too many of those

  5. Bukkakemaster

    yawn…. boring…. isn’t there someone new to post bikkini pics of, she is tired.

  6. VandaL

    Haha! Picture 13. Looks like she’s shit herself and is stood so she can’t feel it. Skanky bitch.

  7. celebritiesarefunny

    Sixth picture…her leg looks like it has a butt on it? Weird
    Maybe its there too make up for her lacking bum

  8. Randal

    Paris continues to define what style is hot in the industry and is seen here doing a great job showing it off. Her confident stance goes well with her playful look, a trademark Paris wears well.

    Randal

  9. Yuck

    Paris has herpes

  10. jen

    Randal cracks me up

  11. friendlyfires

    Wait a sec … that bulge … is she finally growing a penis? … no … wait … it’s just her Tampax sticking out partially … and it’s not even that time yet … can’t be sure in a white bikini … okay, I’m gonna’ hurl, right over here, if you don’t mind? … BLEE-AUUUUGGHH!!!! … I think … wait … are they here? …. where are my fucking eyeballs, dude? … I puked my own eyeballs through my nostrils, dude!!!! …. not funny …quit …laughing … where the fuck are they ….Rumer is still not kosher … so there …. wait, I can still smell embers … there they are … they feel unpretty …ewwwww … here fix eyes, doctor … I pay you in fart diamonds, you monkey-shaman, now fix these eyes!!!! … god dammit … I will call Doc Savage ….FIX MY EYES!!!!! … WHAT’S THAT I SMELLL??? …EWWWW!!! …. PARIS IS BURNING ….HER TAMPON … IN MY …EYES ….YOU BITCH … IT’S ON!!!!!!!!

  12. dubba

    whats that bump in her crotch?

    is she “tucking” or have the STDs started to mutate into some “quatto from total recall” kinda thing

  13. yup

    her hair looks like shit… and she’s selling extensions? does anybody actually buy the paris hilton brand?
    and wow, she’s starting to look older and uglier, the first wouldn’t matter if she was aging gracefully :/

  14. nikki

    She actually looks really good here!

  15. TEDBUNDY

    i WOULD EAT 3 MILES OF HUMAN SHIT JUST TO GET THE CHANCE TO EAT HER SHITTER

  16. michelle

    i love that swimsuit!! i think she actually looks really good in this picture but i’m sure they had to burn the suit…

  17. jt

    how is this a bikini? it’s a one piece.

  18. TEDBUNDY

    i WOULD EAT 3 MILES OF HUMAN SHIT JUST TO GET THE CHANCE TO EAT HER SHITTER

  19. Poor Paris

    There is something not right when your belly is bigger than your chest yet you still wear that type of bathing suit.

    I guess money still can’t buy looks.

  20. special ed

    she looks like a droid with herpes.

  21. icarus

    Does this bitch ever stop “posing”? She probably does it on the crapper too…tits thrust out, back arched, pigeon toes, looking in the wall to wall full length mirrors. Making sure she’s pouting just so when she squeezes.

  22. Erin

    She is such a skank!

  23. I don’t know what you all are going on about; promiscuous or not, she is still a very pretty girl.

  24. Sport

    Randal STFU, fag.

  25. heather

    her legs look AMAZING. get it girl.

  26. This may be about as good as she’ll ever look… but my infrared camera can see her herpes crotch radiating at unsafe levels…

  27. TrannyGranny

    13 Dude, its not a penii or a tampon. It’s the Bluebird of Fucking Happiness.

    and it’s very, very dead.

  28. Kathleen

    I like the white swimsuit… She actually looks rather glamorous, until you remember she’s Paris Hilton

  29. Looks like the set of a very cheap 80ths TV Show. Just add a speaking car or something like that.

  30. lazerturkey

    What is wrong with that one eye of hers. How come she doesn’t get it fixed?

  31. Shady Sadie

    Her legs are fucking CRAZY awesome.

  32. Rachell

    I really really like this swimsuit. Hopefully they have a color that doesn’t match my skin. Does anyone know who designed this suit??

  33. Alli Watermelon

    I love Randal!!! I’ve just recently started actually posting comments on here, but have been coming to the site for a while. Randal’s comments crack my shit up!!! He’s always so positive. Anyway, I like the swimsuit. It’s really sexy!

  34. strangely absent from all photos: Her saskawatchen, gargantuan, sinewy feet.

    Randal

  35. LKS

    For once she looks good.

  36. Tanzarian

    Doug Reinhart actually has severe astigmatism, so to him even up close, this is what Paris looks like.

  37. bitingontinfoil

    @13 It’s not a penis, it’s her herpes sore bulging & throbbing…

    WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THIS VAPID WHORE?

  38. ChunkyMonkey

    Hi cunt.

  39. Fati

    She looks hot in these pictures. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go kill myself for saying that.

  40. anonymous

    I could see her in that herpes commercial…that’s believable

  41. anonymous

    I could see her in a herpes commercial

  42. anonymous

    I could see her in a herpes commercial

  43. missywissy

    Who has time to stand around a pose like that? Oh yeah, that really pretty skanky chick, Paris.

  44. azalea

    CHICKEN LEGS!!

    P. S. Love ya Randal!

  45. BRANDON M. WITTE

    PARIS HILTON IS CURRENTLY EVADING FEDERAL PROSECUTION FOR HEINOUS FEDERAL CRIMES COMMITTED.

    FOR THE STORY, GO TO THE WEB SITE PARIS HILTON ASKMEN.COM.

    SINCERELY, BRANDON M. WITTE

    ARLINGTON, TEXAS

    AGE: 33

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  46. BRANDON M. WITTE

    PARIS HILTON IS CURRENTLY EVADING FEDERAL PROSECUTION FOR HEINOUS FEDERAL CRIMES COMMITTED.

    FOR THE STORY, GO TO THE WEB SITE PARIS HILTON ASKMEN.COM.

    SINCERELY, BRANDON M. WITTE

    ARLINGTON, TEXAS

    AGE: 33

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  47. BRANDON M. WITTE

    PARIS HILTON IS CURRENTLY EVADING FEDERAL PROSECUTION FOR HEINOUS FEDERAL CRIMES COMMITTED.

    FOR THE STORY, GO TO THE WEB SITE PARIS HILTON ASKMEN.COM.

    SINCERELY, BRANDON M. WITTE

    ARLINGTON, TEXAS

    AGE: 33

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