Paris Hilton seemed to be confused by the presence of her breasts while shopping yesterday in Beverly Hills. Of course, no one is more confused than my penis. Right now he’s up on the roof threatening to jump. I tried to talk him down, but he’s pretty out of – SHIT! HE JUMPED! NOOOO! Oh, thank God, a seagull caught him and is flying out to sea. Uh oh, they both got ate by a shark. That’s not cool. *shakes head* Whoa, what a weird hallucination. I really need to stop sniffing Sharpies for a full hour after lunch. I thought Paris Hilton had really big – ACK! Those things are real?! I’ve finally done it. I’ve tripped into another dimension! Everything’s opposite, man. I better get out of these clothes so I fit in. Oh, hey Jim. Yeah, you’re right, I should get that mole checked out. Have a good weekend – in opposite land. What did I just say? Oh, nothing.
Paris Hilton: I don’t remember these…
March 7th, 2008 // 103 Comments
Photos: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily.com
 |
Courteney Cox's Shocking Confession About Her Sex Life – Huffington Post |
 Why Was This Celebrity Booed Off This Hit TV Show? – Fox News | |
| 50 Most Scandalous Cheerleaders in Sports History – Bleacher Report | |
| Skinny Star in a Bikini Talks About Being Anorexic – Evil Beet Gossip | |
| Sasha Grey keeps doing it for the kids. – TMZ | |
| Kate Middleton Steps Out On Her Own – Lainey Gossip |
airr3ca | March 7, 2008 at 4:25 pm
omgz.
Texas Tranny | March 7, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Pretty dress……….
s | March 7, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Big surprise. ANOTHER A-list celebrity steps in front of the camera with a tax deductable contribution. Promoting her latest multi-million dollar project in the very same segment. Using her ‘humanitarian’ image as an excuse for her own incredible greed. As an excuse to concentrate the world’s wealth and resources in her own back yard. As an excuse to live an extravogant, power-hungry, jet-setting, global warming lifestyle. Traveling the world in the name of ‘humanity’. WAKE UP PEOPLE. DREW BARRYMORE IS JUST ANOTHER FILTHY RICH MULTI-MILLIONAIRE HOLLYWOOD HUMANITARIAN. THIS LITTLE PR STUNT WILL MAKE HER EVEN RICHER IN A MATTER OF WEEKS. ITS JUST BUSINESS. Say thet reminds me. Don’t believe one optimistic word from any public figure about the economy or humanity in general. They are all part of the problem. Its like a game of Monopoly. In America, the richest 1% now hold 1/2 OF ALL UNITED STATES WEALTH. Unlike ‘lesser’ estimates, this includes all stocks, bonds, cash, and material assets held by America’s richest 1%. Even that filthy pig Oprah acknowledged that it was at about 50% in 2006. Naturally, she put her own ‘humanitarian’ spin on it. Calling attention to her own ‘good will’. WHAT A DISGUSTING HYPOCRITE SLOB. THE RICHEST 1% HAVE LITERALLY MADE WORLD PROSPERITY ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE. Don’t fall for any of their ‘humanitarian’ CRAP. ITS A SHAM. THESE PEOPLE ARE CAUSING THE SAME PROBLEMS THEY PRETEND TO CARE ABOUT. Ask any professor of economics. Money does not grow on trees. The government can’t just print up more on a whim. At any given time, there is a relative limit to the wealth within ANY economy of ANY size. So when too much wealth accumulates at the top, the middle class slip further into debt and the lower class further into poverty. A similar rule applies worldwide. The world’s richest 1% now own over 40% of ALL WORLD WEALTH. This is EVEN AFTER you account for all of this ‘good will’ ‘humanitarian’ BS from celebrities and executives. ITS A SHAM. As they get richer and richer, less wealth is left circulating beneath them. This is the single greatest underlying cause for the current US recession. The middle class can no longer afford to sustain their share of the economy. Their wealth has been gradually transfered to the richest 1%. One way or another, we suffer because of their incredible greed. We are talking about TRILLIONS of dollars. Transfered FROM US TO THEM. Over a period of about 27 years. Thats Reaganomics for you. The wealth does not ‘trickle down’ as we were told it would. It just accumulates at the top. Shrinking the middle class and expanding the lower class. Causing a domino effect of socio-economic problems. But the rich will never stop. They will never settle for a reasonable share of ANYTHING. They will do whatever it takes to get even richer. Leaving even less of the pie for the other 99% of us to share. At the same time, they throw back a few tax deductable crumbs and call themselves ‘humanitarians’. Cashing in on the PR and getting even richer the following year. IT CAN’T WORK THIS WAY. Their bogus efforts to make the world a better place can not possibly succeed. Any ‘humanitarian’ progress made in one area will be lost in another. EVERY SINGLE TIME. IT ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT WORK THIS WAY. This is going to end just like a game of Monopoly. The current US recession will drag on for years and lead into the worst US depression of all time. The richest 1% will live like royalty while the rest of us fight over jobs, food, and gasoline. Crime, poverty, and suicide will skyrocket. So don’t fall for all of this PR CRAP from Hollywood, Pro Sports, and Wall Street PIGS. ITS A SHAM. Remember: They are filthy rich EVEN AFTER their tax deductable contributions. Greedy pigs. Now, we are headed for the worst economic and cultural crisis of all time. SEND A “THANK YOU” NOTE TO YOUR FAVORITE MILLIONAIRE. ITS THEIR FAULT. I’m not discounting other factors like China, sub-prime, or gas prices. But all of those factors combined still pale in comparison to that HUGE transfer of wealth to the rich. Anyway, those other factors are all related and further aggrivated because of GREED. If it weren’t for the OBSCENE distribution of wealth within our country, there never would have been such a market for sub-prime to begin with. Which by the way, was another trick whipped up by greedy bankers and executives. IT MAKES THEM RICHER. The credit industry has been ENDORSED by people like Oprah, Ellen, Dr Phil, and many other celebrities. IT MAKES THEM RICHER. Now, there are commercial ties between nearly every industry and every public figure. IT MAKES THEM RICHER. So don’t fall for their ‘good will’ BS. ITS A LIE. If you fall for it, then you’re a fool. If you see any real difference between the moral character of a celebrity, politician, attorney, or executive, then you’re a fool. WAKE UP PEOPLE. ITS ALL ABOUT THE MONEY. The 1% club will always say or do whatever it takes to get as rich as possible. Without the slightest regard for anything or anyone but themselves. Vioxx. Their idea. Sub-prime. Their idea. NAFTA. Their idea. Outsourcing. Their idea. The commercial lobbyist. Their idea. The multi-million dollar lawsuit. Their idea. $200 cell phone bills. Their idea. $200 basketball shoes. Their idea. $30 late fees. Their idea. $30 NSF fees. Their idea. $20 DVDs. Their idea. Subliminal advertising. Their idea. The MASSIVE campaign to turn every American into a brainwashed credit card, pharmaceutical, love-sick, celebrity junkie. Their idea. All of which concentrate the world’s wealth and resources and wreak havok on society. All of which have been CREATED AND ENDORSED by celebrities, athletes, and executives. IT MAKES THEM RICHER. So don’t fall for their ‘ good will’ ‘humanitarian’ BS. ITS A SHAM. NOTHING BUT TAX DEDUCTABLE PR CRAP. Bottom line: The richest 1% will soon tank the largest economy in the world. It will be like nothing we’ve ever seen before. and thats just the beginning. Greed will eventually tank every major economy in the world. Causing millions to suffer and die. Oprah, Angelina, Brad, Bono, and Bill are not part of the solution. They are part of the problem. EXTREME WEALTH HAS MADE WORLD PROSPERITY ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE. WITHOUT WORLD PROSPERITY, THERE WILL NEVER BE WORLD PEACE OR ANYTHING EVEN CLOSE. GREED KILLS. IT WILL BE OUR DOWNFALL. Of course, the rich will throw a fit and call me a madman. Of course, their ignorant fans will do the same. You have to expect that. But I speak the truth. If you don’t believe me, then copy this entry and run it by any professor of economics or socio-economics. Then tell a friend. Call the local radio station. Re-post this entry or put it in your own words. Be one of the first to predict the worst economic and cultural crisis of all time and explain its cause. WE ARE IN BIG TROUBLE.
anon | March 7, 2008 at 4:25 pm
wow strangely arousing
Kate Hudson | March 7, 2008 at 4:25 pm
FIRST you gay asslovers!
anon | March 7, 2008 at 4:25 pm
wow strangley arousing
gossipmonger | March 7, 2008 at 4:25 pm
thats one hell of a bra!
james | March 7, 2008 at 4:26 pm
last
airr3ca | March 7, 2008 at 4:26 pm
this must be another punk from pop fiction.
shelley | March 7, 2008 at 4:26 pm
ella es hija de puta
anon | March 7, 2008 at 4:27 pm
by which I mean 3′s post
GOSSIPgirl08 | March 7, 2008 at 4:27 pm
OK, I want to BITE HER BOOB!! lol, she has never had those jugs before, I’M KIND of JEALOUS!!!! lick lick
John McCain | March 7, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Ok, #3. You’ve convinced me.
I’m supporting gun control laws.
tattle tale | March 7, 2008 at 4:28 pm
tranny ostrich
gossipmonger | March 7, 2008 at 4:28 pm
wow, ummm “3. s – March 7, 2008 4:25 PM ”
got a little too much time on your hands, I see… not that I read your babble… my eyes hurt just scrolling past it. Time to hand in your essay at school, not on Superfish, got it?
herpiesauraus | March 7, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Genital herpes is a sexually transmitted disease (STD) caused by the herpes simplex viruses type 1 (HSV-1) or type 2 (HSV-2). Most genital herpes is caused by HSV-2. Most individuals have no or only minimal signs or symptoms from HSV-1 or HSV-2 infection. When signs do occur, they typically appear as one or more blisters on or around the genitals or rectum. The blisters break, leaving tender ulcers (sores) that may take two to four weeks to heal the first time they occur. Typically, another outbreak can appear weeks or months after the first, but it almost always is less severe and shorter than the first outbreak. Although the infection can stay in the body indefinitely, the number of outbreaks tends to decrease over a period of years.
Results of a nationally representative study show that genital herpes infection is common in the United States. Nationwide, at least 45 million people ages 12 and older, or one out of five adolescents and adults, have had genital HSV infection. Over the past decade, the percent of Americans with genital herpes infection in the U.S. has decreased.
Genital HSV-2 infection is more common in women (approximately one out of four women) than in men (almost one out of eight). This may be due to male-to-female transmission being more likely than female-to-male transmission.
HSV-1 and HSV-2 can be found in and released from the sores that the viruses cause, but they also are released between outbreaks from skin that does not appear to have a sore. Generally, a person can only get HSV-2 infection during sexual contact with someone who has a genital HSV-2 infection. Transmission can occur from an infected partner who does not have a visible sore and may not know that he or she is infected.
HSV-1 can cause genital herpes, but it more commonly causes infections of the mouth and lips, so-called “fever blisters.” HSV-1 infection of the genitals can be caused by oral-genital or genital-genital contact with a person who has HSV-1 infection. Genital HSV-1 outbreaks recur less regularly than genital HSV-2 outbreaks.
Most people infected with HSV-2 are not aware of their infection. However, if signs and symptoms occur during the first outbreak, they can be quite pronounced. The first outbreak usually occurs within two weeks after the virus is transmitted, and the sores typically heal within two to four weeks. Other signs and symptoms during the primary episode may include a second crop of sores, and flu-like symptoms, including fever and swollen glands. However, most individuals with HSV-2 infection never have sores, or they have very mild signs that they do not even notice or that they mistake for insect bites or another skin condition.
People diagnosed with a first episode of genital herpes can expect to have several (typically four or five) outbreaks (symptomatic recurrences) within a year. Over time these recurrences usually decrease in frequency. It is possible that a person becomes aware of the “first episode” years after the infection is acquired.
Genital herpes can cause recurrent painful genital sores in many adults, and herpes infection can be severe in people with suppressed immune systems. Regardless of severity of symptoms, genital herpes frequently causes psychological distress in people who know they are infected.
In addition, genital HSV can lead to potentially fatal infections in babies. It is important that women avoid contracting herpes during pregnancy because a newly acquired infection during late pregnancy poses a greater risk of transmission to the baby. If a woman has active genital herpes at delivery, a cesarean delivery is usually performed. Fortunately, infection of a baby from a woman with herpes infection is rare.
Herpes may play a role in the spread of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. Herpes can make people more susceptible to HIV infection, and it can make HIV-infected individuals more infectious.
The signs and symptoms associated with HSV-2 can vary greatly. Health care providers can diagnose genital herpes by visual inspection if the outbreak is typical, and by taking a sample from the sore(s) and testing it in a laboratory. HSV infections can be diagnosed between outbreaks by the use of a blood test. Blood tests, which detect antibodies to HSV-1 or HSV-2 infection, can be helpful, although the results are not always clear-cut.
There is no treatment that can cure herpes, but antiviral medications can shorten and prevent outbreaks during the period of time the person takes the medication. In addition, daily suppressive therapy for symptomatic herpes can reduce transmission to partners.
The surest way to avoid transmission of sexually transmitted diseases, including genital herpes, is to abstain from sexual contact, or to be in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who has been tested and is known to be uninfected.
Genital ulcer diseases can occur in both male and female genital areas that are covered or protected by a latex condom, as well as in areas that are not covered. Correct and consistent use of latex condoms can reduce the risk of genital herpes.
Persons with herpes should abstain from sexual activity with uninfected partners when lesions or other symptoms of herpes are present. It is important to know that even if a person does not have any symptoms he or she can still infect sex partners. Sex partners of infected persons should be advised that they may become infected and they should use condoms to reduce the risk. Sex partners can seek testing to determine if they are infected with HSV. A positive HSV-2 blood test most likely indicates a genital herpes infection.
e | March 7, 2008 at 4:31 pm
yeah! what number 3 said!
poonmoon | March 7, 2008 at 4:31 pm
#15. Idiot, obviously someone just copied and pasted that.
oh please | March 7, 2008 at 4:31 pm
glad to see the CDC is hanging out on gossip sites warning the most vulnerable populations about the dangers of poking tainted poon.
oompa loompa | March 7, 2008 at 4:32 pm
baahhhh. i hate her. she looks like an owl with those stupid sunglasses…speaking of which, why is she wearing sunglasses at NIGHT? stupid!!
Kate Hudson lover | March 7, 2008 at 4:34 pm
eeeeeeeeewwwww! Boobies, I hate them!
Show more BUTTS!
Kate or Colin, I don’t care which! (obviously)
oompa loompa | March 7, 2008 at 4:35 pm
btw, #3, this is a celeb gossip site. do you think anyone is actually going to READ that?
JoBOO | March 7, 2008 at 4:38 pm
FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bone daddio | March 7, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Paris Hilton’s breasts.
Kate Hudson’s bum.
Do a quick scroll from top of Paris to bottom of Kate. Same shape. Same shade. I’m in heaven – if I could do a motorboat between both of them.
max | March 7, 2008 at 4:43 pm
#21
are you gay?
Pixie | March 7, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Wow, she looks like she is balding in the first pic.
Mindy | March 7, 2008 at 4:46 pm
“Do a quick scroll from top of Paris to bottom of Kate”
or…get a date?
Guy | March 7, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Fuck off with these retarded long posts.
You probably spent hours tapping away in MS Word, waiting for the next post on superficial so you can copy&paste your lame outlook on celebrity life. I hate to brake it to you but you’re not Daria, and its not the late 90′s anymore.
Sambo the Ass Pirate | March 7, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Lesson in futility #1: (see example 3, 16)
seriously, do you think anybody is going to read beyond the first two sentences of that blather?
Paris Hilton's anus | March 7, 2008 at 4:51 pm
pffffft…*Plop*
Mr. Bojangles | March 7, 2008 at 4:52 pm
That’s about as awkward as this watercooler conversation:
http://digitalfuntown.squarespace.com/dft-blog/2008/3/7/short-shorts-watercooler.html
donkey dolittle | March 7, 2008 at 4:53 pm
#28, #29. and the other fools
Yes idiots they spent hours “tapping” away in MS Word or MAYBE THEY COPIED AND PASTED THEM TO PISS YOU OFF. And it fucking worked so good on them.
The first one is someone else’s post from the Drew Barrymore bikini story and the second is from a medical website and explains herpies. No one expects you to read them. Although you guys probably should read the herpie info.
Fucking Morons, take a joke and get over it.
Tim | March 7, 2008 at 4:58 pm
#32 – don’t be so quick to call people morons. NEWSFLASH: the internet is electronic. HELLO! You can’t “paste” anything, that’s for paper.
Auntie Kryst | March 7, 2008 at 5:01 pm
@3 “Ask any professor of economics. Money does not grow on trees.” What if its a chimpanzee economics professor? Because then money does grow on tress. Myself, I play the plantain market.
jim bean | March 7, 2008 at 5:02 pm
You FUCKING TOOL. Right click your mouse and you’ll see that you can COPY AND PASTE text and images.
Now if that was a satyrical comment you’re a funny fuck but, if you were serious then I worry for you and the wrold, especially if you have a drivers liscence. There are people who are THAT stupid so I’m sorry I can’t tell if your serious.
Ted from LA | March 7, 2008 at 5:03 pm
#3,
I read it and agree almost 100% with it. Especially the part about Oprah being a filthy pig. We’re fucked. Desperate people will do desperate things. Religion is what keeps poor people from killing rich people. We’re starting to see there isn’t enough religion to go around. The next president better make changes in a big hurry. Did you see that CEO who made over 100 million dollars? It’s criminal. Kirstie Alley is a filthy pig too (and I’m not talking about either of their weights). Happy Weekend you degenerates.
audience | March 7, 2008 at 5:04 pm
#35 – you forgot to add: “….*tap* … *tap* … hey is this thing on?”
Sambo the Ass Pirate | March 7, 2008 at 5:07 pm
32, ass dolittle
only joke is you, please go die in a fire.
nipolian | March 7, 2008 at 5:08 pm
#32 – LMAO @ “Although you guys probably should read the herpie info”.
Famous Plastic | March 7, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Cute dress, too bad it’s filled with trash…
Sambo the Ass Pirate | March 7, 2008 at 5:12 pm
people who spell ‘herpes’ with an ‘i’ shouldn’t call other people morons.
Sambo the Ass Pirate | March 7, 2008 at 5:13 pm
41, it is a cute dress, and the matching sunglasses. i think i have a “My Little Pony” with that same color scheme.
eps | March 7, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Wow. Fish is in a slump. Funny factor today: 0
Auntie Kryst | March 7, 2008 at 5:16 pm
@38 These are the jokes people! Ahh fuck it, you’re right it was lame. The urge to type was too strong. G’nite folks, please remember to tip your waitress.
greed is ruining the world | March 7, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Agreed # 37. It’s all true. People just get turned off by really long posts as they are used to them being full of drivel. BUT the person who originally wrote this is completely correct.
It’s so fucking depressing because hardly anyone gets it. You know how many idiot women worship Oprah. I’m one of the only women I know who sees through her bullshit. The greed in this world is unfathomable and worst of all it’s being fuleed and spread through the media. They are greed and they try to sell greed.
This was originally posted on the drew barrymore bikini blog. (in so Freaking Hot) I agreed there and I always will.
itchy poonanie | March 7, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Paris Hilton: I don’t remember these…(*)(*)
She also says that every morning when she wakes up with new herpes sores.
Paris Hilton's anus | March 7, 2008 at 5:26 pm
pffffffffft…pfft pfft pfft pbpbp
PTHBPTHBPTHBPTHB PLOP PLOP PLOP SPLATTER!!!!!! SQUIRT SPLASH PTHBPTHBPTHB!!!
pfffft
PunkA | March 7, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Paris has been pushing those puppies up as high as she can for a while now. Not sure why she doesn;t just get the boob job she really wants now and get it over with. Clearly, she wants to have more than she does. Stop pretending and get it done already.
nipolian | March 7, 2008 at 5:28 pm
#46 – That’s all fine and dandy but what the fuck has it got to do with Paris Hiltons’ tits or herpes?
@@@@@@@@@@= $$$$$$$$$$ | March 7, 2008 at 5:36 pm
If this bitch had a dollar for every herpie sore shes ever had she’d be the richest person in the world.
GUIDE FOR RETARDS( like if Paris has her case worker read this to her):
I made a picture to show the dollar to oozing puss sore equation. The @ is supposed to be a festering herpie sore and the $ represents money.