Paris Hilton: I don’t remember these…

Paris Hilton seemed to be confused by the presence of her breasts while shopping yesterday in Beverly Hills. Of course, no one is more confused than my penis. Right now he’s up on the roof threatening to jump. I tried to talk him down, but he’s pretty out of – SHIT! HE JUMPED! NOOOO! Oh, thank God, a seagull caught him and is flying out to sea. Uh oh, they both got ate by a shark. That’s not cool. *shakes head* Whoa, what a weird hallucination. I really need to stop sniffing Sharpies for a full hour after lunch. I thought Paris Hilton had really big – ACK! Those things are real?! I’ve finally done it. I’ve tripped into another dimension! Everything’s opposite, man. I better get out of these clothes so I fit in. Oh, hey Jim. Yeah, you’re right, I should get that mole checked out. Have a good weekend – in opposite land. What did I just say? Oh, nothing.

Tags: Paris Hilton