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I didn’t post this yesterday because I read conflicting reports saying it wasn’t true, but now photographs have surfaced verifying that Paris Hilton and Travis Barker have hooked up.
The pair met at a party at Pure Nightclub in Las Vegas last week. An eyewitness said: “Before long they were making out on one of the VIP beds. They were groping and grinding with their clothes on. “All her friends and her sister NICKY were there, just looking on stunned.” The pair then headed for strip club Spearmint Rhino. But a source said: “Their steamy show in their limo near the rear VIP private entrance was more sizzling then the lap dances inside. “Guys were standing around watching.” On Monday they were snapped sneaking into a hotel in LA. Paris hid behind sunnies and a leopard print hoodie as they separated and entered the hotel apart. She made the no-bonking pact with girl pals to see who could last the longest while putting work first.
And then last night – the same day she was arrested for a DUI – she was spotted making out with Travis outside of Hyde. She also put on a dark wig and had her publicist Eliot Mintz chauffeuring her around, hitting up Hyde instead of attending the premiere of her movie Bottom’s Up. Which makes sense, because why promote your own movie when you can be reinforcing rumors you’re a drunken whore? Throw in a terrible boob job and cut off her ass and we’ve got ourselves another Tara Reid.
Some more of Paris and Travis after the jump, including her delightful dark-haired disguise. Alliteration, I call thee friend.
Skönflicka | September 8, 2006 at 7:32 pm
And they say that blondes have more fun …
Bioplant | September 8, 2006 at 7:36 pm
A superstrain of herpes and hepatitis was born that night at Pure.
I hereby name it herpetitis.
KnockOnIt | September 8, 2006 at 7:40 pm
Ew. So is she not still with that greased pig Brandon Davis?
I wonder if their stick figures rubbing together will start up a dry-hump-induced fire.
tito | September 8, 2006 at 7:47 pm
They have premiers for straight-to-DVD movies?
CelebSlam.com | September 8, 2006 at 7:52 pm
One more Hollywood start with herpes…
http://www.celebslam.com
best regards | September 8, 2006 at 7:58 pm
At least they’ll keep their STD’s quaranteened.
Angry Ferret Jones | September 8, 2006 at 7:58 pm
#4 – My thoughts exactly. What, did they all get together at Blockbuster and give away condoms and Herpicide with every rental?
k10 | September 8, 2006 at 8:11 pm
Whats surprising is HOW THE HELL DOES HE GET THESE WOMEN? First one blonde then the next. granted paris is a whore and gives it up to anyone, but for real. travis… i thought he knew better than to go around helping spread stds
LL | September 8, 2006 at 8:16 pm
#2, I’m rollin’. Herpetitis. That shit is funny.
Call me crazy, but I think Paris actually looks a little better with dark hair.
But yeah, what Paris needs after a DUI arrest is a scuzzy fling with a heavily tattooed guy in the middle of an acrimonious divorce with his ex-Playmate wife. That’s healthy.
I used to think Nip/Tuck was over the top, but now I’m not sure which is reality and which is fiction, TV or the effed up real lives of Paris, Lindsay, Nicole and Britney. Is all the fame and money getting to them? They can have the fame, but I’ll take the money off their hands. Cause I’m a giver.
HolisticWisdomcom | September 8, 2006 at 9:33 pm
I love the Jesus Saves shirt with the body ink and hat, nice ensemble… listen it doesn’t matter how loud you T-shirt announces that you are a religious nut, Jesus isn’t going to save you from STDs!
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
HollyJ | September 8, 2006 at 9:53 pm
Herpes is too afraid to invade that disgusting pile of carbon.
Is he even HUMAN, or some bizarre scientific experiment on how genetically far you can take complete chinlessness?
nicholelibra | September 8, 2006 at 10:15 pm
Yeah, real inconspicuous…Paris in a dark haired wig. So basically she went from looking like a 2 dollar whore to looking like 2 dollar whore with a bad wig on.
So is Bottom’s up the sequel to One Night in Paris?
ProbablyTooOld | September 8, 2006 at 10:31 pm
So, is it safe to assume she isn’t celebate any longer?
I sort of like Travis Barker but this scenario made me twitch. Bleah. Just bleah…
hav-a-tampa | September 8, 2006 at 11:01 pm
well, the cops probably took her license, so she needs someone to drive her around to all the party’s. she’ll have someone new next week.
edb87 | September 8, 2006 at 11:05 pm
#8 – I totally agree. How the hell does Captain Ink get all the chicks?
So much for Paris’ abstinence pledge. Whore.
http://www.edquartersaudio.com
MyWellRehearsedMistake | September 9, 2006 at 2:30 am
Wow. From one vacuous blonde bimbo who frankly does nothing for a living and was made famous for doing porn to another… Way to go Travis. Not that he’s gotta type or anything.
Look at her ‘in disguise’ waving to the cameras. Did anyone ever explain to her that when your whole life is on tv and you wanna cheat on you ugly boyfriend (who you are not having sex with cos you took a vow of celebacy) with an even uglier scuzzy man like this you may need more than a brunette wig? So I guess this makes it 3 men she’s slept with or does it not count if you act like a whore?
dupababy | September 9, 2006 at 3:22 am
can you just imagine the skank baby that could come out of this crabfestastical relationship? a tattoed newborn with a wonkie eye and a serious case of crotch crickets?
looking at these two together is a proverbial visual orgasm.. they like totally MATCH..
dupababy | September 9, 2006 at 3:22 am
can you just imagine the skank baby that could come out of this crabfestastical relationship? a tattoed newborn with a wonkie eye and a serious case of crotch crickets?
looking at these two together is a proverbial visual orgasm.. they like totally MATCH..
Lala | September 9, 2006 at 3:26 am
Ah, the answer to why the universal bacteria count tripled in the last week.
Paris Hilton – the only celeb I know who works her publicist so hard, he gets as much ink as she does. If that’s him in the second photo, every penny spent on all that cosmetic surgery is well-earned.
CactusinaSombrero | September 9, 2006 at 4:50 am
Well, I can certainly see why the teenies love Travis. Not only does he enjoy collecting various STDs from the world’s most disgusting women, the first picture seems to show him with glowing demon eyes, and something white in his mouth that may possibly be an egg.
Perhaps he’s a magician. Or more likely, a lizard. It would explain the tattoos; they’re actually /scales/.
RichPort | September 9, 2006 at 5:04 am
Call the CDC!!! Call the CDC!!!
The miniscule amount of respect I had for Travis died with his impending genital failure. Much like “The Stars”, he is apparently blind too.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | September 9, 2006 at 5:26 am
Well, I didn’t see in those pictures where his penis was inside her vagina, unless he just has a really small penis and I would need some kind of fancy newfangled computer program to defrag the picture and break down the pixels in the mainframe gigawatts ram.
Besides, wasn’t he supposed to be married to some fat blonde bitch?
This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover | September 9, 2006 at 5:43 am
This is really getting gross. I used to like Barker, until he dumped his punky fiancee whom he’d been with for years, for that playmate he married…then after I was forced to watch Meet the Barkers, I actually started to like the chick, then he goes and dumps her and goes for Paris? Are you kidding? I think at this point guys are just fucking Paris cuz they know she’ll let them. I’m sure they get the fuck out of there as soon as they bust their nut.
BigJim | September 9, 2006 at 6:42 am
I know who Travis Barker is, but who the fuck is Paris Hilton?
Jenny | September 9, 2006 at 6:42 am
How dare she!!!!!!! Ewwwwwww, Travis Barker! Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, ewwwwwwwwwwwww, ewwwwwwwwww, ewwwwww, ewwwww! I think that Brandon Davis is hotter, and at least richer, and doesn’t have kids or an eating disorder. Travis Barker SHOULD be doing Nicole Richie, but that would make her feel fat.
luvscock | September 9, 2006 at 7:27 am
thank you the superficial for telling it how it is, i have recently left perezhilton for being stuck up her cake hole….well at least we can anser her own question, what am i for? She is for fucking…He is still married too so that makes her a husband fucker and I am sure it isnot the first…
januaryanne | September 9, 2006 at 7:34 am
She truly is the blonde icon for our era.
She barely beat out Tara Reid for it.
Giggles | September 9, 2006 at 7:35 am
Great. She’s taking a page out of BRITNEY SPEARS’ book. When the scandal hits, go brunette. What an original idea.
thesarahficial | September 9, 2006 at 7:57 am
Wow…that’s some lazy eye. So much for not having sex anymore … psh!
shameshame | September 9, 2006 at 8:03 am
wow, that’s disgusting. well i guess it makes sense, because they’re both hideous.
Eliot Mintz is a fucking retard. “I know what we’ll do, we’ll put you in a wig so we can have you disguised as you go about being a dirty whore all the while protecting your annonimity since we swore chastity to the world to make you look like less of a dirty whore!” (look at her lazy eye, oh my fucking god!) Is there a dumber and less capable publicist out there? I mean, the harder they try to make her look good, the worse things go… I guess no one else was stupid enough to want to represent paris hilton.
MirageAhead | September 9, 2006 at 8:05 am
I love that Colin Farrel is called “the man” for living a similar slutty lifestyle.
And by “love that” I mean “puke when”
Hopeless_Screenwriter | September 9, 2006 at 8:11 am
@22 Oshie
I have all the ‘Ram’ you will ever need.
hopeless
ellaminnowpea | September 9, 2006 at 8:14 am
@24…Big Jim, Big Jim….how quickly you forget ~ that wild, wonky-eyed, living bag of infestation!
TaiTai | September 9, 2006 at 8:23 am
Does he consider this to be a good career move? What is his target audience now — the clinic crowd?
crazyhorse | September 9, 2006 at 9:15 am
Just finished reading the McConaughey/Cruz thread. Funniest shit I ever read. I thought I had seen it all. I was wrong.
Solaera | September 9, 2006 at 9:30 am
#25 I totally disagree. Travis Barker is defintitely a step up from “Fat Elvis” Brandon Davis. That greaseball is rude and disgusting…I don’t care how much money he’s got.
I think Barker is hot, but then I like my guys lean and wiry. Not a fan of big, blubbery, slippery slobs. Eeeeeewwww.
Chamois | September 9, 2006 at 9:40 am
Can we please stop using the phrase “hoooked up?”
Emmy | September 9, 2006 at 10:16 am
Paris Hilton actually claims that she didn’t make out with Travis Barker, she made out with his friend Alex who I believe is the guy in the white t-shirt (I could be wrong)…
Apparently, she grinded and whatnot on the poor man’s Travis Barker:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14626175/
(Scroll down)
biatcho | September 9, 2006 at 11:31 am
all the signs are pointing towards an unparalelled downward spiral… i cannot wait to see how she dies. It’s coming soon, I can feel it in my fallopian tubes.
Hopeless_Screenwriter | September 9, 2006 at 12:35 pm
If any of you have been following the Sarah-Jean story, then you are going to love this.
Fresh off the presses.
She is going to try to sue me.
That’s right. Sue me. Is that not awesome. Here is an E-mail that she sent to Spankcheeks, because I’m using a picture of her parents as my avatar.
********************************
I’ve been out of town, so I just got a hold of this. What do you want me to do? This guy can’t legally sue you for making fun of someone, can he? Because I’m fucked if any celebs read my site. Anyway, what do I do?
xoxo
spanks
Note: forwarded message attached.
From: Private Account
Reply To: Private@marysremnant.org
To: spankcheeks@yahoo.com
Subject: Urgent: A problem with your comment section
Sent: Friday, September 8, 2006 6:05 PM
Peace,
Please forgive me, but I honestly don’t know what else to do at the moment. A fellow who has been torturing my daughter-in-law has taken photos from her blog of my husband and I, and is using it as his avatar. He has just posted the following in the comments of one of your posts:
——————————–
http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=29523138&postID=115771956511801332&isPopup=true
cock-ninja said…
Hey everyone. Miss ya all
I’ve been at the Fish tearing a new asshole into my good friend Sara ‘Vitelli’ Ballard.
Before she shut her web-site down I was able to copy a picture of her parents. I’m posting it here for those who didn’t see.
Sorry if this is confusing. Need to read the cruz/mcconaughey post at the fish to understand.
6:54 PM
cock-ninja said…
Her dad is the “Wizard Of Oz” I sware to God.
ninj
6:55 PM
————————————–
He’s also terrorized my daughter-in-law with emails, and left false cut/pastes of a sexual nature regarding us on another web site, whose hosts I have contacted by phone, and whose legal department I have contacted by email.
Please, could I ask you to remove the comment that contain my daughter in law’s name “Sarah Vitelli Ballard,” and the picture of my husband and I, from your comments? I know that you didn’t put them there, but I’d be very grateful if you could moderate those for me.
I don’t want to cause trouble for anyone else, but we’re determined to make this fellow leave us alone, even if I’m forced to take legal measures against him. We’ve done absolutely nothing to him.
Thank you for your time and trouble.
Doris Ballard
Berwick, ME
****************************
Well, Doris Ballard
Bring it on Beeeeeooootch!!
I’m shitting my pants!!!!
Hopeless
P.s Do any of you know any good lawyers?
jack2300000 | September 9, 2006 at 1:02 pm
Human Garbage
tsarinaamanda | September 9, 2006 at 1:33 pm
Parasite and Nasty Travis are perfect for each other. If they are screwing each other, then at least they aren’t out there spreading their crud to others. Maybe we can get the CDC to quarantine them and do research and testing to help find cures for herpes, and keep the super-STDs from spreading to the rest of the world. Then when they have outlived their usefulness to the government, then they can have then quietly euthanized, and donate their money to good causes. It’s the humane thing to do, really. Can you all imagine a world without Parasite Herpes Hilton? I can, and that is a PERFECT WORLD!
suzy | September 9, 2006 at 1:54 pm
Travis Barker, you’ve disappointed me :(
Angry Ferret Jones | September 9, 2006 at 2:19 pm
Holy crap, Doris is on the rampage!
Hey, Doris, I like my ass kissed riiiigghhhtt about here. No, no honey, a little to the left. Mmmmmmm, that’s the spot.
Goddamn it, I am a fucking web ninja, bitch.
Ballard, Douglas Jr & Doris
226 Blackberry Hill Rd
Berwick, ME 03901-2710
(207) 384-9901
doihaveabooger | September 9, 2006 at 2:20 pm
Too bad for him her names not vegas, because what happens in paris spreads like the plague.
If his dik wasn’t tattooed before, it is now and forget lasers, that stank is permanent.
stingybitchsuzy | September 9, 2006 at 2:53 pm
@40 – Hopeless
I’m not a lawyer, but if some of the legal shit I’ve read here is any indication, Sarah-Jean’s parents/parents-in-law certainly have some sort of right to privacy (remember the Jennifer Aniston topless photos case a few days ago? Seemed her argument was that the photographer used invasionary tactics to get the shots). Also, if you’re using a photograph that you do not own, it certainly seems less than legal.
What was in your post above didn’t sound exactly like S-J was planning on suing you for sure. The relatives just want you to stop using their photo. After all, they did nothing to you. They are not celebutards, holding themselves out for publicity, promoting movies or cds which will earn them money. They’re not public figures who can (and should) rightly be satirized (and I think satire falls under free speech doctrine). They’re just people. Let it go, man. It’d be different if they were your relatives who needed a good thrashing on the web, but even my sister and I use pseudonyms on our site.
-suzy, not really meaning to be bitchy this time
RenoScarab | September 9, 2006 at 3:09 pm
Hey Suzy Q
If there was ever any action to be taken for the photos, it would be against Sarah. She is the source for their release in to the public domain. The same way Superficial isn’t lible for the photos they find on the web.
RenoScarab | September 9, 2006 at 3:10 pm
Also, Angry Ferret (who has issues!) can’t catch heat for publishing info that is available in the public domain (phone, address, etc.)
Ciao!
lisad71 | September 9, 2006 at 4:27 pm
OMG! He goes from Shanna Moakler to this? Aren’t you suppose to trade up when you get divorced? Obviously Travis didn’t get the memo. Either that or he’s into sticking his winky in HAZMAT containers.
piratekuhnbeard | September 9, 2006 at 7:05 pm
ya id still do travis barker any day, whatever man. but all i know right now is im drunk and OSU is kickin’ Texas’ assss whaddup bucksss!