Paris Hilton spreads her legs

July 2nd, 2007 // 71 Comments

Paris Hilton was spotted on a beach in Hawaii doing some sort of slut calisthenics. She’s literally just lying there practicing spreading her legs, like she’s training for some nonexistent whore competition. If you ever went on a date with her, I imagine this is the last thing you’d see before passing out and waking up to find doctors desperately trying to save your life by amputating your burning genitals. And the whole time the doctor would just be shaking his head side to side screaming, “The horror!”

Photos: Splash

  1. First

    Frost Piss

  2. Rocko

    Somewhere between 1-10 and im eating corflakes so there bitches!

  3. NicotineEyePatch

    She’s going for the gold in the Whore Olympics.

  4. smaddox

    prison did her gooood…. she’s lost weight… still scary though.. scary as hell!! (comforting penis as it’s curled up in fear)

  5. leelee

    Her bikini top looks weird… yeah?

  6. sdr4jc


  7. Donna

    i’m just jealous that the whore bag is in hawaii.

  8. skins

    She looks alot better. I mean everything except her face.

    And by better I mean, it looks like she gained some weight.

  9. DancingQueen

    That’s NOT hot.

  10. LL

    I hate to give her any compliments, but her bod looks OK. I don’t know what that leg-lifting thing is, maybe she’s airing something out or whatever, but…

    She’s still an idiot.

  11. She did not get a chance to do anything really physical for Three Weeks.

    She is just trying to exercise and enjoy life her again

    Thankfully, she is able to take advantage of the entire summer

  12. Snatchit

    What the hell is that stuffed down her pants in pic #3 (ass shot)? I’m guessing it’s either an air freshener or a fly repellent strip.

  13. YouRang

    FUCK! I’m back at work again. How does this keep happening? And Paris “Toucan” Hilton is (insert derogatory comment here).

  14. notyou

    those look like rolling papers…looks like miss hilton is still breakin’ laws.

  15. Door

    What the hel could havel happened in jail that motivated a needs to learn how to kick?


  16. sourgrapes

    hey i have no problem with hanging out by the pool in a bikini, but, after her little mother Theresa act on LK, talking about feeding the hungry and curing the ill does she have to run out to Hawaii IMMEDIATELY after said interview to go mindlessly bake in the sun and live the rich live?
    she is just fucking stupid and vapid enough to think that speaking of it on LK WAS the actual charity work.

    worthless cunt

  17. jrzmommy

    That is one greezy ho.

  18. havoc

    She’s just airing out her cootch.

    Either that or ripping a really good fart…..


  19. meh

    so, why does she need practice?

  20. meh

    btw, anyone else find it nauseating how she’s milking the incredibly small stint she did in jail? and people actually feel sorry for her and say she was treated unfairly. bull!

  21. sourgrapes

    of course, i am very bitter cuz its monday morning, i am back at my shitty job and that stupid whore is living the highlife

  22. Anonymous 1981

    What happened to her Bible? What, she doesn’t need Jesus anymore?

    Oh and I’m surprised she kept her legs closed this long since getting out of jail.

  23. Coco

    i don’t think you could ever rationalise anything paris hilton does. I doubt she even knows why she does this shit.

    also, i’m surprised with the amount of fucking baby (porn star style) oil she has on that she didn’t go flying off her lounger. slut.

  24. JP

    She should just become a porn star and get it over with

  25. no1justminda

    She’s trying to tan her flappy cooch!

  26. miss oblivious

    I was going to say she actually looks kind of good here; until I got a look at her saggy ass…and it was literally all down hill from there. Her legs look splotchy from the fake tan, and I see cellulite beginning on her thighs. But other than that she looks like a buttery roll right out of the oven! I bet she’s all happy she lost those 20 lbs in jail. Surprised she doesn’t look that thrilled to see the papp’s taking her pic though. Usually she hams it up.

  27. Zed

    Am I the first to say ” I’d hit it”? :P

  28. Honestly, she looks really pretty in these.

  29. Donkey

    That’s one greasy monkey.

  30. chimpy

    I hear this skank has the biggest fukin feet out there. Figures.

  31. Miserable Bastard

    She’s trying to get the busboy’s attention. Most people would just wave.

  32. Donkey

    I’d definitely do her…. if she didn’t have herpes that is.

  33. Coco

    her hand in #5 looks so deformed, like an ewok’s hand or something. weird.

  34. ssdd

    Compared to the jail release photos … she doesn’t look the same… the nose is not hooked down as much..the hands here are huge.. and the ears don’t look elfen….
    I don’t know .. maybe its her…either way, she’s ugly as hell and looks like Brini Maxwell.

  35. Aislinn

    Hey, when you only have one talent, you have to practice.

    Practice does not make perfect in this case though…it makes, uh….herpes.

  36. Morticia

    #17 you said it. I was just sitting here marveling at how hard all this charity work must be on her stupid ass.

  37. daguz

    There is good nekked and bad nekked..

  38. Andrea

    I found this story in our local news this morning. I just do not understand it! As rich as Paris is why would she not make her car payments? If she does not want it anymore why not auction it off on EBay and whatever profits she made after paying it off that money could be donates to M.A.D.D. and prove that she is serious about changing and doing charity work! I just cannot believe how irresponsible Paris is but yet insists on referring to herself as a Businesswoman! A person a with a head for business would sell their car and not allow it to be reposessed! Here is the link to the story:

  39. Wee

    I think the headline should be: Paris spreads her STDs

  40. wedgeone


    #25 – she tried that already. Didn’t you see her sex tape? It was awful.

    #28 – You’re the ONLY one.

    #40 – Now THAT’S a funny headline. Take note, Fish.

    Wonky eye … beak nose … man hands … swimfins for feet … no tits … large & flappy snatch … herpes … saggy asscheeks … HOW DESPERATE DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO FIND THIS ATTRACTIVE??







  42. BlohansDeviatedSeptum

    Sooo that’s what that smell is. I thought someone had mailed me a live tuna.

  43. flavio

    yeah, its called ‘exercise’, maybe you’ll try it out someday too! her ass actually looks pretty hot…

  44. Silo333

    Oh but to lick and suck those feet…

  45. she lookz like she gained weight..
    thoze bikini bottomz R way too small
    for her..they make her look fatt..
    doezn’t matter, she ztill lookz like
    a man to me?????big fatt handz*feet§.

  46. meh

    holy crap those feet are huge and nasty

  47. yucko

    to those of you in love with this thing


    enjoy your stds.

  48. El Ces

    Hmm, looking good, but it doesn’t look like she’s having such a good time.
    Give us a smile, Paris;)

  49. I look zo much better
    than her????..-??????
    I think I’ll go for a
    zwim?????..therez zome
    cute guyz and chickz
    down there, hell yea???!

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