Is she trying to make love to that cake?
Ugh, clicked “post” by accident—is she trying to make love to that cake? And boy, that’s a way to be sure you’re the center of attention for your birthday party: be the only one there. Why didn’t I think of that? Oh wait, I was too busy not doing cocaine and suckin’ dicks like a semen-powered Hoover.
this is just too bizarre. a pack of fucking MIDGETS leading around goats??!?!?!?! truth is stranger than fiction indeed.
Paris the Dancing Clown Slut
Now available for childrens partys.
Pony costs extra.
Reportedly she DID manage to blow all the candles. Unfortunately all the goats were named ‘candles’.
Go back and take a good look at those Man Hands. She’s giving Pink a run for her money with those giant meat-paddles.
I like how the guy in the next to last picture is all ‘her vagina is THIS deep!’
Um, is that a star and hand prints on her cake? Interesting. Midgets and goats, I expected that.
Apparently the goats and midgets were in one of those ‘Paris Exposed’ vids, but PETA started asking questions.
I was there.
I had a blast.
#10 I wouldn’t admit that. That’s actually sad.
geez, paris hilton sucks.
That poor cake.
At least it has candles to defend itself with.
Now I feel sorry for Iran.
Fuckin’ people in the audience…idiots….they oughta be gassed.
I bet Matt Leinart didn’t even show up.
Pack of goats? If you didn’t think she was Satan’s spawn before.. well here’s your proof.
What??? You don’t know who he is??? Ever heard of USC, only just the greatestest ever college football program ever (yes, including Orenthal James)? PUSSIES!
hey, I already “reported” on the midget/goat/monkey thing in the previous Paris article. Seriously, I’m now reporting on things before The Superficial?! That seems kinda sad given my lack of resources for celebrity gossip.
This just in… Paris Hilton hospitalized for 3rd degree wax burns to her lips. Sources say she got confused when they told her to “blow out the candles”.
#16 weren’t you a little premature in blasting people about not knowing who Leinart is before anyone even said they didn’t know who he is? Kind of like your premature claim that USC is the greatest college football program ever! But that’s a debate for a different website!
“More of Paris Hilton thinking she’s the shit at her birthday party after the jump.”
Is is the shit… the one you can’t flush down the toilet no matter how hard you plunge.
I wonder how much it cost to make all the homeless people looked groomed and pretend to be fans?
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