Paris Hilton is apparently dating Joel Madden’s twin brother Benji. The two were spotted yesterday shopping in Hollywood. I guess Paris was jealous of Nicole Richie and wanted a retarded Blues Brother of her own. But she’s not stopping there. Paris has a new reality show where contestants compete to be her new best friend. Us Magazine reports:
“Paris is tired of the haters and she’s looking for someone new. She’s looking for someone new and cool who she can trust.”
The new show is “going to be full of good chick drama and you will see a side of Paris not seen on Simple Life,” the source tells Us.
How do I get on this show? I’ll be Paris’ best friend. But I’ll be all sassy and tell her how it is – with fists. Friends punch each other all the time. In fact, the more unconscious you render someone the more you care. Which is why I know my date last night really dug me. She ruptured my spleen and left me for dead in the parking lot. I can’t wait to call her later. After I’m discharged. Ooh, sponge bath time! Dammit, it’s Jose the male nurse. Must think unsexy thoughts…
First1!!!1!!
First1!!!1!!
First1!!!1!!
see, she starts to whither and die when no one pays attention to her, so she’s gotta do this to live.
Oh,and 1,2,3, you’re such a loser.
I think the only side of Paris we have not seen the the view from a colin camera. What more do we need to see from the dumb bitch..
“Oh,and 1,2,3, you’re such a loser.”
“Oh” lmao. Max homo.
um what, didn’t this douche just just have a fiancé two weeks ago? someone was quoted saying they are pretty serious. that just shows how ridiculous these people are. but i guess that makes sense since his brother knocked up the skeleton after a month of dating. let’s just hope these two wrap it up good!
OMG! He’s only been dating her for a short time, and, judging from that mark under his chin, he’s already tried to slash his throat. He cannot escape, though. You must rip out her cold, cold heart Benji. that is the only way you’ll be free.
What is wrong with the writer on this site? He doesn’t know when to stop typing… over writes everything. It’s not funny when you ramble.
I just wish this attention-whore would disappear somewhere. Take your manhands and scram, bitch.
Yes, we’ll see another side of Paris, because she’s so multifaceted. And the show will have witty banter like “That’s hot.” I bet it’s going to beat Lost in the ratings.
Everytime I’m lonely and need a friend — someone who I can confide in — I have my handlers broker a deal with television producers so that they can audition people and pay the winners to vie for my attention, on National television. Yeah, that’s what I do.
P.S. Benji, tattoos are, like, so cool, man.
When did she start dating Dick Richards??
this is ridiculous…. it makes her look uglier XD
wait, Benji is suppose to have proposed to some gorg Australian model last month, or did that fall through?
http://www.eonline.com/news/article/index.jsp?uuid=3efcf78e-9514-4b8d-8f5e-761da01c3591
The name of Paris’ new show:
“Paris Hilton: Loathed by all”
And number 1, 2 &3:
I’d also like to take every single damned annoying motherfucking cock-eating shit-licking ass-rimming old-man-feltching fist-fucking piece of fucked up pathetic diarreah coming out of the ass of an old syphilis infected boxcar hobo motherfucker who types “FIRST”, and rip their intestines out their asshole and make them eat it.
He’s the type of guy I’d suck until he’s just about ready to spurt – and then pull off and punch him right in the balls.
oops that was LAST year jk guys JK
Woohoo, I can’t wait for “The Simplex Life”
Do you think:
1) these photos were snapped over two days and boyo just keeps his emo uniform on 24/7
or
2) these photos were all snapped on the same day and paris actually has a lady in waiting her brings her afternoon wear and changes her creamed Versace jeans if Paris is too busy shopping?
Have a music video to clear your head of thoughts of Paris discharge. http://www.overlay.tv/overlay/733 Timbaland is sCREAM(ing).
Exactly who are these Maddens? Were they famous? Well, anyway. Benji? What the hell are you doing? Is a little PR reason enough to allow your dick to fall off? Just remember. Paris likes lots of sex, so don’t forget to strap that 2X4 to your ass before going in Buddy. I mean, you probably are a worthless piece of shit, but Paris’ snatch is rank enough without another useless corpse rotting away inside those nether regions.
#13 — Frist, shut-up. I’ve got soul.
@17, Nice Office Whore Troll..
What a fucking hack. Seriously, stick a fork in her because she’s fucking done. I just might take one for the team and audition for the role of “best friend”. That way I can get close enough to make her death look like an accident/suicide.
#16 – does your mom know you use that language? Seriously, does she? Just yell up and ask her.
Ohh look, Paris has like semi automatics all over her shirt! Ohh I’m scared, don’t hurt me Paris!
Those guns should be pointing out from her crotch as a dire warning to anyone who thinks of actually diving in that cess pool of viruses. Ok like we really need to be warned?
#22, no you got “sores” in your pants.. hahahahahahah!!!
I’m just kidding, that was mean..
How’s it going today Jimbo?
Look, Frist. You keep it up and I’ll be forced to shove my pustuled penis right in to your mouth and down your throat.
My scarred testicals slapping at your nose as you look at my asshole. And gag.
The day is going good.. How did the Volcano turn out?? What is for lunch?
And sores ‘in my pants’? That makes no sense.
The purported sores could be on my legs, feet; but, pants can’t have sores though, silly.
You’re right. You really aren’t very good at typing. Glug-Glug.
Testicals? Are those what California guys have for balls?
FRIST is grumpy today because all her drinks last night tasted salty. And, coincidentally, the plumber stopped by earlier to fix her kitchen sink and didn’t charge for it. Didn’t charge money for it.
i smell a baby on the way…….
@33 No that is Mile that you smell..
I love you guys..
I love you too..
Awwww… <3
you sure? it smells like milk vomit and shit diapers…
“Friends don’t punch, they hug.”
Someone told me that once. I want to punch him in the face and take back my hug now.
Does the fist in your vagina qualify as a sort of punch?
wow. you really can’t make this shit up can you? Two of the biggest possers in the world coming together to make the ultimate douche couple. This is so fucking pathetic it makes me weep.
I mean can anything scream fucktard more than being covered in shit tatoos, being named Benji and carrying Paris Hiltons bags around?
LOL – “I guess Paris was jealous of Nicole Richie and wanted a retarded Blues Brother of her own”. That is too funny.
Does Paris’ parents know she’s dating that dude? Seriously, there is a line that no fucking blue blood allows, and that is dating jews.
what a hetero!
straights are so lame, plain & vanilla, bland…
no original personality or sense of character…
Nobody cares, you idiots!
who hasn’t been in her vagina?
What’s the matter with celebrities these days ? They all go for horrible men. Is it a secret contest or something, like who will date the ugliest ?
Yeah sucking cock and taking it in the ass and acting like a woman is really mainstream evolution, huh? AIDS is comin’ for yeh! My girl is more artistic than a deformed freak like yourself could ever dream of being. And, like you, she loves the dick. IN THE VAG, not the shithole!!!!
#35. Come back and fight like a man, Butch!
please write a book. you are fucking funny. seriously.