Paris Hilton is apparently dating Joel Madden’s twin brother Benji. The two were spotted yesterday shopping in Hollywood. I guess Paris was jealous of Nicole Richie and wanted a retarded Blues Brother of her own. But she’s not stopping there. Paris has a new reality show where contestants compete to be her new best friend. Us Magazine reports:
“Paris is tired of the haters and she’s looking for someone new. She’s looking for someone new and cool who she can trust.”
The new show is “going to be full of good chick drama and you will see a side of Paris not seen on Simple Life,” the source tells Us.
How do I get on this show? I’ll be Paris’ best friend. But I’ll be all sassy and tell her how it is – with fists. Friends punch each other all the time. In fact, the more unconscious you render someone the more you care. Which is why I know my date last night really dug me. She ruptured my spleen and left me for dead in the parking lot. I can’t wait to call her later. After I’m discharged. Ooh, sponge bath time! Dammit, it’s Jose the male nurse. Must think unsexy thoughts…
ME! | February 26, 2008 at 12:03 pm
First1!!!1!!
ME! | February 26, 2008 at 12:03 pm
First1!!!1!!
ME! | February 26, 2008 at 12:03 pm
First1!!!1!!
p911gt10c | February 26, 2008 at 12:07 pm
see, she starts to whither and die when no one pays attention to her, so she’s gotta do this to live.
Oh,and 1,2,3, you’re such a loser.
Jimbo | February 26, 2008 at 12:07 pm
I think the only side of Paris we have not seen the the view from a colin camera. What more do we need to see from the dumb bitch..
mike | February 26, 2008 at 12:15 pm
“Oh,and 1,2,3, you’re such a loser.”
“Oh” lmao. Max homo.
gotmilk? | February 26, 2008 at 12:17 pm
um what, didn’t this douche just just have a fiancé two weeks ago? someone was quoted saying they are pretty serious. that just shows how ridiculous these people are. but i guess that makes sense since his brother knocked up the skeleton after a month of dating. let’s just hope these two wrap it up good!
Veroonica | February 26, 2008 at 12:20 pm
OMG! He’s only been dating her for a short time, and, judging from that mark under his chin, he’s already tried to slash his throat. He cannot escape, though. You must rip out her cold, cold heart Benji. that is the only way you’ll be free.
Rutty | February 26, 2008 at 12:21 pm
What is wrong with the writer on this site? He doesn’t know when to stop typing… over writes everything. It’s not funny when you ramble.
Spazz | February 26, 2008 at 12:24 pm
I just wish this attention-whore would disappear somewhere. Take your manhands and scram, bitch.
sidv | February 26, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Yes, we’ll see another side of Paris, because she’s so multifaceted. And the show will have witty banter like “That’s hot.” I bet it’s going to beat Lost in the ratings.
D. Richards (Slob.) | February 26, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Everytime I’m lonely and need a friend — someone who I can confide in — I have my handlers broker a deal with television producers so that they can audition people and pay the winners to vie for my attention, on National television. Yeah, that’s what I do.
P.S. Benji, tattoos are, like, so cool, man.
FRIST!!! | February 26, 2008 at 12:25 pm
When did she start dating Dick Richards??
Shorty Pants | February 26, 2008 at 12:28 pm
this is ridiculous…. it makes her look uglier XD
Lindsay | February 26, 2008 at 12:33 pm
wait, Benji is suppose to have proposed to some gorg Australian model last month, or did that fall through?
http://www.eonline.com/news/article/index.jsp?uuid=3efcf78e-9514-4b8d-8f5e-761da01c3591
dude | February 26, 2008 at 12:39 pm
The name of Paris’ new show:
“Paris Hilton: Loathed by all”
And number 1, 2 &3:
I’d also like to take every single damned annoying motherfucking cock-eating shit-licking ass-rimming old-man-feltching fist-fucking piece of fucked up pathetic diarreah coming out of the ass of an old syphilis infected boxcar hobo motherfucker who types “FIRST”, and rip their intestines out their asshole and make them eat it.
The Office Whore | February 26, 2008 at 12:41 pm
He’s the type of guy I’d suck until he’s just about ready to spurt – and then pull off and punch him right in the balls.
Lindsay | February 26, 2008 at 12:41 pm
oops that was LAST year jk guys JK
Gerald_Tarrant | February 26, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Woohoo, I can’t wait for “The Simplex Life”
kirkPQ | February 26, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Do you think:
1) these photos were snapped over two days and boyo just keeps his emo uniform on 24/7
or
2) these photos were all snapped on the same day and paris actually has a lady in waiting her brings her afternoon wear and changes her creamed Versace jeans if Paris is too busy shopping?
Have a music video to clear your head of thoughts of Paris discharge. http://www.overlay.tv/overlay/733 Timbaland is sCREAM(ing).
Cap'n Pickles | February 26, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Exactly who are these Maddens? Were they famous? Well, anyway. Benji? What the hell are you doing? Is a little PR reason enough to allow your dick to fall off? Just remember. Paris likes lots of sex, so don’t forget to strap that 2X4 to your ass before going in Buddy. I mean, you probably are a worthless piece of shit, but Paris’ snatch is rank enough without another useless corpse rotting away inside those nether regions.
D. Richards (Erect.) | February 26, 2008 at 12:47 pm
#13 — Frist, shut-up. I’ve got soul.
Jimbo | February 26, 2008 at 12:48 pm
@17, Nice Office Whore Troll..
Giomon_Rocks | February 26, 2008 at 12:49 pm
What a fucking hack. Seriously, stick a fork in her because she’s fucking done. I just might take one for the team and audition for the role of “best friend”. That way I can get close enough to make her death look like an accident/suicide.
FIRST | February 26, 2008 at 12:54 pm
#16 – does your mom know you use that language? Seriously, does she? Just yell up and ask her.
lipper | February 26, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Ohh look, Paris has like semi automatics all over her shirt! Ohh I’m scared, don’t hurt me Paris!
Those guns should be pointing out from her crotch as a dire warning to anyone who thinks of actually diving in that cess pool of viruses. Ok like we really need to be warned?
FRIST!!! | February 26, 2008 at 12:55 pm
#22, no you got “sores” in your pants.. hahahahahahah!!!
I’m just kidding, that was mean..
How’s it going today Jimbo?
D. Richards | February 26, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Look, Frist. You keep it up and I’ll be forced to shove my pustuled penis right in to your mouth and down your throat.
My scarred testicals slapping at your nose as you look at my asshole. And gag.
Jimbo | February 26, 2008 at 1:03 pm
The day is going good.. How did the Volcano turn out?? What is for lunch?
D. Richards (Lover.) | February 26, 2008 at 1:06 pm
And sores ‘in my pants’? That makes no sense.
The purported sores could be on my legs, feet; but, pants can’t have sores though, silly.
You’re right. You really aren’t very good at typing. Glug-Glug.
huh? | February 26, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Testicals? Are those what California guys have for balls?
mike | February 26, 2008 at 1:13 pm
FRIST is grumpy today because all her drinks last night tasted salty. And, coincidentally, the plumber stopped by earlier to fix her kitchen sink and didn’t charge for it. Didn’t charge money for it.
aeuwave | February 26, 2008 at 1:14 pm
i smell a baby on the way…….
Jimbo | February 26, 2008 at 1:16 pm
@33 No that is Mile that you smell..
FRIST!!! | February 26, 2008 at 1:18 pm
I love you guys..
Jimbo | February 26, 2008 at 1:20 pm
I love you too..
FRIST!!! | February 26, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Awwww… <3
aeuwave | February 26, 2008 at 1:45 pm
you sure? it smells like milk vomit and shit diapers…
Ript1&0 | February 26, 2008 at 2:15 pm
“Friends don’t punch, they hug.”
Someone told me that once. I want to punch him in the face and take back my hug now.
Dear 39 | February 26, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Does the fist in your vagina qualify as a sort of punch?
Grunion | February 26, 2008 at 2:38 pm
wow. you really can’t make this shit up can you? Two of the biggest possers in the world coming together to make the ultimate douche couple. This is so fucking pathetic it makes me weep.
I mean can anything scream fucktard more than being covered in shit tatoos, being named Benji and carrying Paris Hiltons bags around?
Renee | February 26, 2008 at 2:38 pm
LOL – “I guess Paris was jealous of Nicole Richie and wanted a retarded Blues Brother of her own”. That is too funny.
Auntie Kryst | February 26, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Does Paris’ parents know she’s dating that dude? Seriously, there is a line that no fucking blue blood allows, and that is dating jews.
ignorants | February 26, 2008 at 2:46 pm
what a hetero!
straights are so lame, plain & vanilla, bland…
no original personality or sense of character…
anon | February 26, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Nobody cares, you idiots!
cuntzilla | February 26, 2008 at 2:50 pm
who hasn’t been in her vagina?
EuroNeckPain | February 26, 2008 at 3:11 pm
What’s the matter with celebrities these days ? They all go for horrible men. Is it a secret contest or something, like who will date the ugliest ?
Ignorants my sweet cheeks tender man | February 26, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Yeah sucking cock and taking it in the ass and acting like a woman is really mainstream evolution, huh? AIDS is comin’ for yeh! My girl is more artistic than a deformed freak like yourself could ever dream of being. And, like you, she loves the dick. IN THE VAG, not the shithole!!!!
D. Richards (Enraged.) | February 26, 2008 at 3:38 pm
#35. Come back and fight like a man, Butch!
luke | February 26, 2008 at 4:25 pm
please write a book. you are fucking funny. seriously.