Paris Hilton’s new lips must cloud her vision

December 3rd, 2007 // 95 Comments

Paris Hilton got into the wrong SUV while leaving Crimson nightclub over the weekend. She had to climb over some poor bastard to get out. While this sorry son of a bitch had to go home and burn his clothes, and presumably his car, in the backyard, I’m left wondering; what the hell happened to Paris Hilton’s lips? Did she pay for those? If she wanted full and, uh, beautiful (?) lips, I would’ve done it for free. While some doctors with their fancy degrees might use collagen, I would’ve used a simple procedure on Paris called “anvil to the face.” Unfortunately, my work continues to be rejected by medical journals because, according to the letters, it would “make the field of medicine too goddamn awesome.” True story.

Photos: Pacific Coast News

  1. That’s funny, I was just talking about this in the last post……….

  2. none


  3. ManOverboard

    Did Thom Yorke of Radiohead get a sex change?

  4. mkell

    Nice try, none.

    Holy hell, who’d have thought it’d be possible to make this ugly skank even uglier than before? Those lips belong on a hagfish, which isn’t too far off!

  5. steve

    My god, she’s beautiful.

  6. Jumpin_J

    Good Lord. Just when you think she can’t possibly get any more retarded and shame the family, she finds a way. I’ll give it to her, she doesn’t give up. Do her parents know what the fcuk she’s doing? Do they realize that Jenna Jameson, uh, Paris is going to inherit the family business? Shouldn’t that immediately scre the living crap out of them? What’s wrong with these effin people? SHEEESH!!!

  7. hotguy

    She was said to have a personal account on a millionaire&celebrity dating club with her hot pictures and blogs there. Where is her new boyfriend recently?

  8. carl


  9. carl


  10. It's me Fuckers

    It looks like her vag infections have spread to her mouth… can you imagine being the poor bastard who took it from her vag to those lips? *gags* I wonder what HIS lips look like…

  11. needle-dicked nate

    i bet you there’s no one on the other end of that cell phone.

    she’s always holding it to her face, ALWAYS, but she has no friends. STRANGE.

  12. Holly crap, those things must suck some serious cock!

  13. do the plastic surgery docs have duck billed platypus in their brochures?


  15. shanipie

    you guys she so obviously didn’t get her lips injected,
    its an allergic reaction to Brits toxic waste dump of a vagina.
    I hear the same thing happened to Justin Timberlake and thats why they broke up.

  16. There we have our little disseas-girl!!
    You’re seeing LIFE as one big fun-fair. With alot of things it’s quite allright but you simply can’t think and act mature and seriously. You really don’t know a FUCK what is happening in the world today. You are the whole FUCKING day surrounded by YES-MEN and by smiling HAAAAAI-assholes!!
    Yep, this is serious varant of HERPUS!!
    She sucked a cock from an asshole with HERPUS. This healing-process takes some time so KEEP ON TRUCKING HONEY!!
    A stupid woman who burn her ASS must sit on the blisters!!

  17. Shallo Val

    Wow, it’s not even a joke anymore. These useless, brainless, soulless twats are all in competition with each other and all for what? To see who can snag the most drunk pathetic bastards to swap spit with.


  18. LayDeeBug

    Seriously, she looks like she put her mouth on a hot motorcycle tailpipe. What a waste of money and time. Sad thing is, her lips were the best looking part of her.

  19. sweet_cheeks

    that’s not collagen, she has has a herpes flare up. and if it’s not herpes, her asshole must have run way from her vagina.

    i bet brit brit did the injections for paris. she probably used some stuff from under her sink.

  20. IKE

    She should do something sensible like get a boob job. No one wants to kiss her anyway. :)
    Hmm, that wasn’t nice was it.

  21. Tim

    It’s amusing to watch the bitches and the bitchy-gays rag on a hot girl.

  22. AllyCat

    This site makes me LOL ~ why is it so great to be the first pathetic poster? seriously, please someone tell me………

  23. Clem

    She looks like she got punched in the face by a jelly fish.

  24. LayDeeBug


    #1 learn how to write and spell
    #2 get off your parents’ computer and go back to school
    #3 you’re probably a pre-pubescent, fat kid with pimples who wishes they looked like anyone except themselves, so Paris is a step up
    #4 if I was in front of you, I would so drop kick you in the teeth for having such bad taste. I swear to Dog.

    This is so unlike LayDeeBug, but it had to be said.

  25. BaconMessiah

    I knew her head would someday prolapse.

    Ah, Paris taking oral sodomy to a whole new level.

  26. LayDeeBug

    To TIM 21-

    Read #24 and put your name in place of SUMMERRAINS.

  27. lux

    God, that looks horrible. When will these girls learn and stop doing this to themselves. It reminds me of this time we went camping and a hornet flew into my dad’s soda can, and stung his lip when he took a drink. We laughed at him. People pay for this shit?!!

  28. Spanky

    “This site makes me LOL ~ why is it so great to be the first pathetic poster? seriously, please someone tell me………”

    Easy, cause nobody wants to be #22, which is always occupied by some unfunny fucktard.

  29. Tim

    To LayDeeBug -

    Put in a new tampon. And a little Summer’s Eve (not rain) wouldn’t hurt either.

  30. MMB

    That Thom Yorke comment was brilliant and DEAD ON!!!

  31. 23apples

    Wow that guy totally hates his life. He looks dumbstruck in the photo where Paris is holding his chin as if she is about to kiss him… but who wouldn’t look that way when a duck-woman is sitting on your lap and is way too close to your face for comfort

  32. Mr Semprini

    I was asking Paris a question yesterday but I couldn’t understand her because she can only speak French right now. By Friday we’re hoping for Dutch.

  33. my comment

    Trout pout,
    chewed, raggedy chipped nails,
    black tights and silver Frankenstein shoes. Total disaster.

  34. El-Coyote

    Those lips signal a Valtrex moment….

  35. 23apples

    Just look at that vapid stare in picture 3… it’s like she’s a robot

  36. Dee

    looks like she’s got a couple of earthworms stuck to her mouth

  37. p911gt10c

    #22. It’s cause there are losers abound on this interweb. But don’t worry, we’re keepin an eye on ‘em and callin it like it we see ‘em.

  38. Tony

    Her lips look like a puckered hemorrhoid stricken asshole!

  39. Man, those lips are hideous. But they do remind me of Scooby snacks.

  40. Tiny

    They’d look just fine wrapped around my johnson.

  41. Sofia

    How dare you compare Thom Yorke with this ho? He actually got famous by being talented, not opening his legs to everone.

  42. squirlgal1

    Oh holy hell. Who tells these women that this is a good look?? Can’t we just drop a bomb on Hollywood and be done with all this nonsense.

  43. Jade

    she looks like squidworth.

  44. hill

    what a jackass not to get out of your seat to let the lady out of the car. Jesus, that dude is climing all over her… oh wait, that’s Paris…. nevermind.

  45. RENEE...

    Eeww, gosh does she look like a tired old whore. And how old is she, like 25? Scary shit man. Britney looks fresh in comparison.

  46. Mr Semprini

    Man, that is like a Hollywood Oreo – two crusties on the outside and a pale squishy center.

  47. Snarky McComments

    #14: SUMMERRAINN is your screen name for this site, isn’t it Paris?

  48. Tapeworm

    What did she just gain like 20 pounds? Her thighs are enormous.

    Her face looks like a duck. She’s the laughing stock of Hollywood, and perhaps all of America.

    Way to go, cunt!

  49. zsa

    Is it that the dude wouldn’t get out of the car to let her out like a real gentleman? As for her lips, they definitely look weird, but then when she’s not puckering they look kinda like normal. Hmmm.


  50. Bob White

    You new system of handling photos sucks. It takes FOREVER to look at a pic and then get back to the next story.

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