Ever wondered what it would be like if Paris Hilton wasn’t the most screwed up one in her family? Yeah, me neither, because the thought is so frightening I crapped my pants just talking about it. Anyways, above is a picture of her 12-year-old brother Conrad. He’s only 12 so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, but things aren’t looking so promising for him. It’s usually not a good sign when looking at a picture of a 12-year-old makes me want to punch through my monitor in anger.
You can check out 12-year-old Conrad’s Myspace here and 16-year-old Barron’s MySpace here. I’m not saying the Hiltons were bad parents, but their children probably would have turned out better if they had just found a cave in the woods and left them there to be raised by bears.
Jacq | March 27, 2006 at 3:43 pm
So, what’s the point? They have herpes?
Ms Crackalackin | March 27, 2006 at 4:01 pm
Ugh, he looks as arrogant and empty-headed as his big sis. Just another brat with a pretentious name and no purpose in life other than to dress in expensive clothing and look vacuous.
Fisher55 | March 27, 2006 at 4:07 pm
my friend barrie was the nanny of that kid, swear to god. never sure he existed til now tho…
urockmysocks | March 27, 2006 at 4:11 pm
hahaha they both look ugly. the 16-year old looks like a drug addict
ob1 | March 27, 2006 at 4:11 pm
Looks like his sister passed down her oral skills to him. Wider Conrad, wider!
SuperSpence | March 27, 2006 at 4:17 pm
I’ve taken craps bigger than that kid’s brain.
PapaHotNuts | March 27, 2006 at 4:23 pm
Take it from me, whooping the shit out of a rich kid is A LOT more fun than beating up a middle income kid.
CoJo | March 27, 2006 at 4:26 pm
C’mon! Yes. The kid is destined to be a arrogant prick, but it’s not his fault. Not yet anyway. Let’s see –
His Mother has exposed her tits (and then some) all over L.A…his Dad probably has spare pussy stashed in every city around the globe and his sister has not only made a porno, but more people have seen her vagina and tits than Jenna Jameson’s. Clearly – the child doesn’t stand a chance.
I wonder how many times he’s seen “One night in Paris”?
He does look like a little fucker, though.
HughJorganthethird | March 27, 2006 at 4:26 pm
Fetal alcohol syndrome anyone?
Hey kid when you see your mom tell her nice tits for me.
pixelbasic | March 27, 2006 at 4:32 pm
Sweetness! The date-rape and night-club gunplay trials are going to make Paris’ escapades look sooooo 1986.
Fisher55 | March 27, 2006 at 4:36 pm
it’s really not cool to make fun of retarded kids, guys
suzy | March 27, 2006 at 4:36 pm
lol, he’s 12, maybe he’s making fun of Paris? who knows…
maybe he’ll even be the normal one in that family… we’ll just have to wait and see when he becomes famous for doing nothing!
thatsnothot | March 27, 2006 at 4:40 pm
i just looked at barren’s myspace and he is not much better than paris for his age. in all of his pictures he looks stoned or he’s going to be stoned (he has a cigarette in his hand). this kid above does not look a day over 7. there is no way he’s twelve. but then again we all know he probably has the brain of a clove of garlic.
Italian Stallion | March 27, 2006 at 4:41 pm
#8 What do you mean how many times did he see “One night in Paris” ? You mean to tell me you didn’t see his name on the credits? The little fucker filmed it!!!
Zed | March 27, 2006 at 4:42 pm
I try so hard not to pick on the underaged, but in this case I’ll make an exception. I’m guessing he’ll be up on coke charges in about 2 more years. Maybe less.
CoJo | March 27, 2006 at 4:48 pm
LOL #8, I thought that line in the “One Night in Paris” credits where it said, “Special thanks to Conrad Hilton” meant it was filmed AT the Conrad Hilton, not BY Conrad Hilton!
That explains a lot!
turdhead | March 27, 2006 at 4:51 pm
The most interesting thing about that picture is whether the eagle or the snake is going to win that epic battle shown on his t-shirt. I got 10 on the snake because if he can get himself stuck up a bird’s ass like that he’s probably fairly resourcesful and/or lubed.
Jay from the Bay | March 27, 2006 at 4:57 pm
That’s a boy? Does “he” have blower’s cramp or is he just special needs? Someone get a bib.
bigfatmomma | March 27, 2006 at 4:59 pm
geez these people are like frickin rabbits. enough already. if i never see another hilton in the news, i’d die happy
playahater101 | March 27, 2006 at 5:04 pm
So we have 2 more Hiltons? Wonderful. Why didn’t their mother do us all a favor and swallow a few times? Hopefully they’ll be public disasters.
Douchebag1 | March 27, 2006 at 5:07 pm
Put him and his sister together and we have a candidate for my new blog:
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.blogspot.com/
saltpeanuts | March 27, 2006 at 5:16 pm
Kids are amazing these days. Only 12, and look – he’s already got the “drunk and junked” look perfected. At 13 he’ll likely get a headstart on the ever popular “Manorexia” look.
And little do most of you realize that the cost of his private school Manhattan education costs more than the average American makes in a year.
Roxie | March 27, 2006 at 5:17 pm
this picture is so gay i’m turning gay just looking at it … are u sure this isn’t ryan seacrest as a child?
diedl | March 27, 2006 at 5:24 pm
*choke* am I really supposed to believe that according to Barron’s profile that the Hiltons are CATHOLIC!??! you gotta be kidding me.
maiira | March 27, 2006 at 5:28 pm
Ugh. More pretentious fuckwads famous for doing absolutely nothing.
And don’t even get me started on myspace. I hate that site with a passion unmatched by anyone anywhere.
And aren’t you supposed to be 14 before you can even HAVE a myspace?
superficielle | March 27, 2006 at 5:30 pm
that picture is so so sad.
Spindoc | March 27, 2006 at 5:44 pm
I thought that was the kid with Downs Syndrom who played “Corky” in “Life Goes On”
http://www.nndb.com/people/380/000086122/
It looks like he is also practicing one of his sisters Stock Poses.
http://starophileimages2.free.fr/wallpapers/paris_hilton_006.jpg
Kg | March 27, 2006 at 6:13 pm
Hey Elton John called, he says he wants his shoes back
LRonHubbaHubba | March 27, 2006 at 6:21 pm
that’s hot.
krisdylee | March 27, 2006 at 6:22 pm
So, hey, is the name Barron primarily only for rich fucker’s to name their sons???? Or does the Donald have no originality at all??
honeycomb's_big_yeahyeahyeah | March 27, 2006 at 6:25 pm
I’d hit it.
rds0811 | March 27, 2006 at 6:33 pm
Damnit, that little turd rocket is gonna inherit millions upon millions just for being born. I swear, the injustices in life are just astounding.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | March 27, 2006 at 6:39 pm
MySpace makes me frown.
Juhaina | March 27, 2006 at 6:43 pm
Hold on…
didn’t Donald Trump name his new kid Barron too???
ifihadahifi | March 27, 2006 at 6:53 pm
Was this pic taken during detention?
MeganHarris | March 27, 2006 at 7:03 pm
Aww. Cute kid. He looks just like her!
i bet she bought that t-shirt from him. its a H&M if i’m not mistaken.
teffi | March 27, 2006 at 7:14 pm
Oh my god….. what makes it worse is if you read his messages, Lindsay Lohan’s in there, buggin him to “hit her up” Maybe that’s why Paris hates her now!
Merebear | March 27, 2006 at 7:26 pm
awww is his myspace URl title an abbreviation for “living dat shit?” How cute. I want him to grow up fast, get his herpes, and see how shit his life is really going to be real soon.
Merebear | March 27, 2006 at 7:33 pm
Ooops, my bad. It’s probably “loving dat shit”, since he knows herpes and anal are hot, though sister should warn him not to mix the two.
Lala | March 27, 2006 at 7:38 pm
He looks like the spawn of Ralphie from “A Christmas Story”.
muzikarly | March 27, 2006 at 7:42 pm
haha i love how there are cubbies in the backround of the picture.. dont they have them for elementary school students?
sometimesboy | March 27, 2006 at 7:54 pm
ah..give the kid a break..you know his myspace profile is just there so he can pimp his ‘secret’ sex tape…
he’s really going to miss those carefree nights of passion….in Neverland….
Dee | March 27, 2006 at 8:01 pm
he looks snotty…with that stupid look on his face…
Kelly | March 27, 2006 at 8:05 pm
This kid look both like he likes the cock and he rode the short bus. I can see him being like the Alexis Arquette of the family.
Marceelf | March 27, 2006 at 8:08 pm
I would sleep in a box under a bridge before I would stay in a Hilton hotel. Who could possibly want to contribute to the income of this family. They can make plenty of money with their real skills, offering sex to anyone who stops within ten yards of them and drug dealing, this kid looks like he’s already a pro at one – which one is your guess.
Jayne | March 27, 2006 at 8:09 pm
Barron has good taste in music.
What.
Barron..
Named after Barron Trump?
Celebrity parents lack originality.
Evangelia | March 27, 2006 at 8:16 pm
#24, why so surprised?
catholics make the best sluts
and the best little boys to get diddled by priests
does this explain conrad’s facial expression? i hope not. perhaps he’s just preparing to get communion, hilton-style.
LB | March 27, 2006 at 8:24 pm
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=14470
Barron has such nice friends.
Man, while the rest of us will grow up and realize we were little dipshits in middle and high school, these kids will simply continue acting this way, forever and ever, until Paris Hilton’s grinding World War III veterans with her bony, wrinkled ass as the worlds skankiest granny and this little kid is making that gay pose from a wheel chair (due to some back condition related to swinging your hips as a guy, I’m sure).
God, please let the Hiltons end with this generation.
gardeniagirl | March 27, 2006 at 8:24 pm
rode the short bus! that’s a good one. if i was their mother, i swear to GOD i would’ve bitten down HARD on a 9mm by now just to draw some of the attention away from horrifying spawn.
gardeniagirl | March 27, 2006 at 8:27 pm
he sort of looks like he’s attempting a Dior turn….he DOES have that kind of face you’d want to slap. good thing i’m not his nanny. he’d be running FAST in the other direction.