Paris Hilton goes swimming

May 18th, 2009 // 103 Comments

Here’s Paris Hilton swimming in Cannes this morning, and is anyone else starting to think VD is the weight-loss secret your doctor won’t tell you about? Not that I’m encouraging a naked butt crawl across a truck-stop restroom or anything. But then again, it is swimsuit season. Just sayin’.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. toefucker

    id love to fuck her toes. but only if she had athletes foot…which is very likely. EARLY CHRISTMAS!

  2. twilighter19

    Shes such a freak.Whats with those damn headbands?? Shes NOT bringing headbands back in style.AINT happenin lady

  3. twilighter19

    Shes such a freak.Whats with those damn headbands?? Shes NOT bringing headbands back in style.AINT happenin lady

  4. titsonsnack

    Fucking gross. This is the female equivalent of the Borat ball-sling bathing suit. And she looks gnarly.

  5. Jo Jo the Dog Boy

    I could put little sunglasses and a little bandanna on my hand, get my rocks off, and my hand wouldn’t smell like herpes and spoiled tuna after, and it wouldn’t be chafed from rubbing against a poorly shaved vagina that has the texture of coarse sandpaper. She makes Heidi Pratt nee Montag look like a goddess. I’d rather tap beaver-faced, refund gapped Audrina Partridge than Paris.

  6. Captain Obvious

    Why would anyone want to fuck this Paris whore?

    She would give you herpes and then she would cheat on you with someone else probably before the first day was over.

    And when it’s over you would have herpes sores on your dick, your mouth, and anywhere else the skank put her tongue. And she didn’t give you any money either.

    I can get all that without having my face in the Enquirer by letting a non-famous crackwhore live with me for a few days.

    No thanks.

  7. 3D

    She kinda looks good….(I think I have a fetish for skinny-ass gals…..I DO!)

  8. 1Hot Mama

    OMF**G, this Skanky Bitch Edna needs to get a Fukin LIFE, THIS IS A FREE COUNTRY BITCH THAT IS WHT ALL THOSE POOR< HANDSOME SOLDIERS FIGHT FOR!!!! REPORT MY PUUS FUNKY HOE, HERPES HOES STICK TOGETHER DON”T THEY, WHY DON”T YOU APPLY FOR HER BFF SHOW THT NOBODY WATCHES ALREADY, SEE IF YOU LIKE HER THEN HAHA!!!!!!!!

  9. vito

    Do you suppose she poses while she’s taking a dump?

  10. briELLE

    I’m impressed. she’s one of the few celebrities nowadays that looks tasteful in a bathing suit. you gotta give her props that she never resorted to implants, at least. AND for pulling off a one piece so well. :)

  11. briELLE

    I’m impressed. she’s one of the few celebrities nowadays that looks tasteful in a bathing suit. you gotta give her props that she never resorted to implants, at least. AND for pulling off a one piece so well. :)

  12. fuzzy sasquatch

    she’s thoroughly modern. she’s a modern day millie w/ the flapper band & blunt bob. I think she looks great.

  13. fuzzy sasquatch

    she’s thoroughly modern. she’s a modern day millie w/ the flapper band & blunt bob. I think she looks great.

  14. lola

    Paris never swims. She uses the beach for photo ops. No one wears a $500 outfit to the beach with the intent of actually swimming

  15. bosendorfer

    A tower room at Eden Roc/
    His golf at noon for free

  16. Cliff Notes: Well I must admit Cannes seems to have completely jumped the shark. Like if Paris is there, and Hotforwords is over there with her latest Youtube short film -”Pulling a Boner”. Like, Ghost of Fellini goes : WTF ?
    And in other recent film link commentary – (wait till after more than 3 minutes before viewing – these ‘Change People’ don’t understand the word ‘editing’)
    Shoeless Joe Show : Joe ! No !! Say it ain’t so !!!
    On the Waterfront : Look kid. You coulda been a contenda !
    Knee Ya Ha Ha : So Joe. When you say here, “yes” and won away. What you weelee sway here exactwee ?
    Inside job ?

  17. NSA transcript smuggled out and provided by our friend Karl Wang.
    Binky : Have we reached ‘critical mass’ yet Cliff ? Over.
    Cliff Notes: Don’t think so Bink. And what’s with those Chinese guys? Over.

  18. azalea

    CHICKEN LEGS!!

  19. chlöe

    I am convinced that Paris has a dick

  20. just curious

    Hey, does anyone here remember MeganHarris?

  21. LET’S HOPE SHE DROWNS, folks!!

  22. mcbeefypants

    Why can’t we all look and be just like Paris, isn’t she dreamy *swooning*

  23. Dr. Cornelia J. Dogbarker, PhD resciinded

    Oh for a minute there, I thought the local sewage treatment plant had accidentally discharged some shit. But it’s just Paris! Ha ha, she looks like shit.

  24. larrythecableguy

    must be nice to be a professional slut that does not have to work

  25. Gando

    Hola!

  26. Binky

    # 71 I’ve heard her and Danyell eloped.
    (But don’t quote me.)

  27. She is always hot – for more entertainment visit – http://www.spideronweb.com/ Entertainment UnLimited

  28. cookie

    I am sexy, looking for some guy online for some fun. I created a profile on
    *******SugarBabyMeet.COM********
    where I write blogs, discuss with others in forum and upload my own video which I made. It is very fun there.

  29. DCMikeRotch

    Where’s Greenpeace protesting the toxic dumping of Paris cooch into the sea?

  30. wow paris hilton i like her

    wanna more fun online click name

  31. Is there a secret cure for big knobby shoulders, stringy limbs and dinosaur feet?

  32. mikeock

    I wonder if her pussy tastes like desperation?

  33. Ron

    Dem are some MAN SIZED FEET!!!

  34. Travis

    Can we go a day w/out seeing Paris? And then we can try a week, month and then a year. She is a nobody and offers nother to society. Plus she isnt great looking anyway.

  35. We’re all just trying to be happy …

  36. Johnny Bravo

    As soon as she steps into the water, the fishes stop swimming and show up the surface with their bellies up

  37. Bigo

    That old man is checking her out… he’d better go to his eye doctor… his eyes could be inffected with herpes.

  38. John Golby

    How does she manage to look even more stupid in every photo,what an idiot.

  39. chupacabra

    She’ll end up looking like Donatella. Old, crusty, leathery, shitty.

  40. Overkill on the matching accessories. She looks so stupid. Oh, wait. Nothing’s changed about her, huh.

  41. JOn

    She used to be so hot! Now she needs to eat and she is just basically a waste of life! Must be nice to use daddy’s money all the time.

  42. Fire

    Put there on the grill on the site, burrn

  43. tc

    A look at the sinews heading toward the top of her crutch is significant evidence that she has a very tight (but dry) cunt.

  44. LMS

    You said it #19!

    You know, if this whore never videotaped herself with a cock in her mouth, nobody would know who she is! It makes me sick that there are millions of people out there with true actual talent and cant make a name for themselves, yet this asshole is in all the magazines. She has tried EVERYTHING to make her self relevant: singing, acting and has failed miserably! There are soldiers being killed in Iraq, the economy is in the toilet, but Paris fucking Hilton “swimming” makes front page news! UNBELIEVABLE!

    I cant imagine how any man would want to nail this skank. Generally men find chicks who are known whores to be a turnoff. I imagine sticking your dick in this sesspool of STDs is equivalent to sticking your dick in a bucket of sulfuric acid–it would just melt off!

  45. @ 48 – I had a delayed outburst of laughter at work over the flipper comment. (pic 2 of 16)

  46. weirdo

    Is that a picture of her on Cap’n Stabbins boat all ready to have the hell fucked out of her skinny ass by the Cap’n and his crew of merry scoundrels?

  47. Disgusted

    With all the money this lame has u’d think she could eat a substantial meal and get some help for the eating disorder she obviously has.

  48. Hello, your blog great, refueling

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