Paris Hilton getting cartoon, losing weight

June 14th, 2007 // 77 Comments
paris-hilton-lose-weight.jpg

A friend of Paris Hilton says she’s dropped about 5 pounds since being sent to the Twin Towers Medical Center because “she’s still depressed and not eating or sleeping much.” Meanwhile, Marvel comics legend Stan Lee has confirmed that he’s developing an animated series for MTV starring Paris Hilton which will be similar to the Stripperella cartoon he developed for Pamela Anderson. Although they really don’t have to animate this thing. They could just make a documentary about her life and it would turn out more cartoony. Heck, they could put up an old Garfield episode and nobody would tell the difference.

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  1. honeycombs_big_yeahyeahyeah!

    *falls asleep facedown in porridge*

  2. Gene Simmons

    Ew. Whats wrong with her ear. Probably std’s.

  3. Jennie

    Lost 5 pounds? So, can she hold her head up or what?

  4. Frank Rizzo

    I like Garfield…

  5. farty_mcshitface

    good god, this bitch is so fucking skinny and gross looking!!
    if she loses another 5 pounds she will collapse in on herself!!

  6. elena

    damn,she does not need to lose any weight! wtf! she is probably scared, but I assure you that she should not be scared (nobody want’s herpes)

  7. uberslacker

    Jail as weight loss plan?
    Great, now ALL the young starlets are gonna get DUIs.

  8. LadyJane

    I wonder if she’s wearing her contacts in prison. Stupid brown-eyed tryin’ to be blue-eyed fuckwad.

  9. LadyJane

    Oh and uberslacker??? They already have.

  10. JesusTheEverLovingChrist-IAintNoJewNoMoe-Yo-Yo...

    Last chance meat puppets… I have been a benevolent lord to you… Someone off this skank or I swear to Dad, I will start kicking your asses tomorrow… How does rivers of blood and a plague of locusts sound? Hmm? And don’t think for two seconds I will be listening when the 08 election comes around… Last chance mortals… Off Paris or this Christ will have to start getting all Bronson on your asses…

    The Big JC

  11. wiinja

    hope it’s one of those Japanese cartoons with tentacles and monsters

  12. BaldAsBritney

    The only wieght she’s lost is the pound of jizz slowly trickling out of her distended ‘gina.

  13. eastboundanddown

    What’s with Stan Lee? One of the greatest comic creators of all time and he’s wasting his time with Pamela Anderson and Paris Hilton.

    And, on a side note, is there anything more annoying than these pop up Live Searches that superficial has installed. I’m all for you making money but nobody is going to click on these things and they’re super annoying. Is there a plug in that will block them?

  14. iburl

    Skankerella?

  15. Snatch

    Stan Lee’s in it for the pussy, man.
    Loving Anorexic Hollywood. It’s great when they start losing their hair.

  16. Snatch

    @12 – funny as hell.

  17. veggi

    I’ve got more moves than a chinese checker board. Just saying.

  18. Stormy

    Sure they could. Garfield’s fat.

  19. the reason she loosing
    weight iz the 90 caloriez
    she uzed to get everytime
    zhe zwallowed….her noze
    iz zo ugly…

  20. veggi

    oh, z girl…. you forgot 4! haha.

  21. JesusTheEverLovingChrist-IAmTooaJew-Boop-Boop-Dee-Doo

    The Shawskank Redemption.

  22. mia

    I hope someday there will be some kind of natural selection that would eliminate useless people with too much cash, no talent and fake blue eyes…

  23. Lowlands

    Instead of drowning in self-pity,why doesn’t she finally learn read and write during her detention time?Or the basics of HTML?Like i did during my detention time after i robbed this old age woman in a wheelchair on the street.

  24. Annie Rexeeah

    It’s a little more serious than all that. Apparently they’re forcing her to read all of krazihottkelli’s comments and she’s losing weight because of nonstop projectile vomitting (which curiously has a prominent “zzzzz” sound each time she erupts).

  25. Giomon_Rocks

    I hope to God that this is a fuckin’ joke. Stan Lee couldn’t do this to me.

  26. Ruby

    Here, here @24. How much fucking effort does it take her to add a “z” into each and every word? I like the use of stanzas though so my eyes can automatically locate the post and skip it.

  27. Are we supposed to feel sorry for her?

    If Paris really wanted to raise money for charity and make a difference, she could hold a dunking booth and MILLIONS of people in L.A. alone would line up all day to watch her go under.

  28. Ruby

    lol@#3. She is looking like a bobblehead.

  29. veggi=dude*
    I didn’t forget 4…
    people R complaining,
    I guezz they’re idiotz,
    they don’t underztand the
    Z=zzz.

    I alzo zee the Devilz wife
    iz here….hello mrz. Zcratch

  30. zkip my poztz
    fuckface Ruby…
    like I give a fuck…

    U fuckin know your reading
    them, thatz Y U keep
    complaining, bitch.

  31. Kiara

    QUE FEA!!! REALLY UGLY!!!! AGGGG

  32. RichPort

    I’m sure she gains about 190 fucking pounds everytime her cornrowed cellmate Bertha lays on top of her at night.

  33. Ruby

    You know, cunthead kelli, you have a point. I have been scanning them for any sign of intelligence. You have let me down once again. I give up.

  34. SUPERFISHERS: I CAVED INTO THE DEMANDS OF THOSE OF YOU WHO GO TO MY WEBSITE TO SEE DISTURBINGLY MASSIVE BOOBS — THE SHOT NOW LIVES HERE:

    http://thelifeandtimesofbernard.blogspot.com/2007/06/disturbingly-massive-breasts-anyone.html

    THERE IS A LINK TO IT ON THE FRONT PAGE, RIGHT NOW, AND THERE WILL BE LINKS TO IT AT THE BOTTOM OF THE FIRST NEW BLOG, EVERY DAY.

    IT IS BIGGER, BOOBIER AND … BOOBIER THAN EVER.

  35. lambman

    She’s in a cell by herself 23 hours a day….how is she not sleeping? Maybe she’s going through withdrawl from whatever drugs she take son a regular basis

  36. SuperLee

    No, the weight loss is important. She’s starring in the new Bratz movie, and her head has to be as disproportionately large as possible. Now, it’s all coming together.

  37. SORRY, MY LINK WAS F-ED UP.

    SHOULD WORK, NOW.

    CLICK FOR BOOBS.

  38. Crap Tonight

    and all the while we are reading this somewhere a brown eyed girl lies in her prison bed weeping and trying not to poo

    HaHaHaHaHa

  39. star69

    No hotdogs and manjuice in prison!
    What’s she gonna eat and drink?
    Boo fuckin hoo.

    Skanky bag of bones.

  40. Paris..is Good for Something?

    Yep..call it “Sluterella” – “Herperella”.

    Spreading sexually transmitted diseases across the cuntry.

    Go Paris!!

  41. Yourfairytale

    She is already disgustingly skinny. The last thing she needs is to lose weight. She needs to gain it desperately.

    But whatever, if she wants to starve to death I won’t stop her and I’m sure no one else will either.

  42. B & B

    Paris (and #38′s comment) reminded me of Beavis and Butthead, not for the first time, obviously:

    Butthead: Check it out. It’s that Kaopectate–
    Beavis: Oh yeah, that stuff is terrible. It’s, like, expensive, and tastes terrible, and it doesn’t work. It says it’s for diarrhea, and I drank a whole bottle, but I never got diarrhea–
    Butthead: Beavis–
    Beavis: Then a week later, this brick pooped out of my butt. It was all hard and black. I can show it to you if you want.
    Butt-head: You still have it?
    Beavis: Sure. I keep it in my sock drawer.

  43. yukadoozer

    She’s on her last 30 seconds…time to pull out the eating disorder stunts…then onto drug addiction and/or re-bound marriage…not much longer…

  44. Bubba

    Yawn.

    If you’re not showing a picture of her crying her eyes out, it’s just not worth bothering with.

  45. Bubba

    Yawn.

    If you’re not showing a picture of her crying her eyes out, it’s just not worth bothering with.

  46. carol

    omg se looks horrible

  47. nuclearzombie

    That’s an insult to Garfield, unless you mean the movies cause those were shit. They should put her into something with a plot along the lines of the turtle webcam, where she plays the stupid wonky eyed turtle who is ran over by a car.

    http://www.73ford.com/turtles.html

  48. woodhorse

    she looks just like her chihuahua in this photo – I wonder why she picked him out of all of her pets to emulate?

  49. farty_mcshitface

    well woodhorse, i agree but, i bet her chihuahua outweighs her by a good 15-20 pounds.

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