Paris Hilton gets off easy

May 17th, 2007 // 162 Comments
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Paris Hilton’s jail sentence has been cut in half from 45 days to 23 due to “good behavior.” Additionally, they’ll be giving her her own special needs housing unit separated from the other prisoners.

“This was decided because of her high profile,” Whitmore told Reuters. “She will do fine if she follows the rules.”

I’m not going to argue with the special needs housing unit, because, well, that sounds about right, but what is this good behavior they’re talking about? The only thing she’s done so far is show up late to her court hearing. Oh, she didn’t murder anybody? That’s another 23 days off. At this rate they’ll end up sending her on a Hawaii vacation and apologizing.

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  1. bigsteamyone

    ho !

  2. What would you do for a Klondike bar?

  3. YouRang

    MOTHERFUCKER!!!

  4. Fucking bullshit. Just goes to show if you’re famous, you can get away with anything. Thanks Justice System!

  5. Tracey

    Reply to Mark Walters:

    Yup,..Just like Micheal Jackson!

  6. The_Squizz

    I still think if they really want to punish her, I should be allowed to piss on her again.

  7. I will keel her~

  8. veggi

    Jesus Christ! In that 3rd picture, there are 3 of her. Can you imagine????????? *shudder*

  9. theresa

    We always knew “she got off easy”….
    Oh, she got less jail time, I see now what ‘cha mean.

  10. Jimbo ?

    She will not even spend the 23 days in jail. They will let her out in less the a week

  11. clarkehead

    Good behavior? How can they shorten her sentence for good behavior when she hasn’t spent Day 1 in the clink yet? WTF is that all about?

    She’s a spoiled little shit. If she does end up doing 23 days, I hope they’re the hardest 23 days she can do. Make her clean the toilets and show her some humility.

  12. Fishstick

    I sure am glad I’m a peasant, that way I would get to serve ALLLLL my jail time.

  13. Plastic Sturgeon

    Can someone familiar with California law please explain to me how your sentence is reduced prior to your serving time? I was in under the impression that your sentence may be reduced for good behavior once you are already in jail.

    At this rate, this bitch is serving 4 hours, max. I guess there is no justice after all.

  14. seashell

    I thought people have to exhibit good behaviour while IN JAIL in order to get time reduced? Jeesh she’s getting special treatment before she even gets in there. Must be nice to have money and completely oblivious!

  15. veggi

    She’s like a slinkie, pretty much useless, but they make you smile when you push them down stairs

  16. lambman

    Well its not because she’s Paris or because of “good behavior” it because of jail over-crowding in California. Basically everybody is getting shorter sentences, but if while serving time they have bad behavior they’ll have to serve the full sentence.

    it sucks, because that’s another 3 weeks where she’s on the loose

  17. Is Paris wearing driving gloves? But she cant drive, and better yet why is she driving?

    If I was worth 50 million dollars I would hire someone to drive my uptight, white, out-of-sight ass around town. I would also hire someone to shave my back, pour my orange juice and kick out the morning hookers!

    WORD!

  18. Tracey

    …I bet she ends up serving ZERO time.

  19. captain obvious

    Time off for good behavior?! That is quite bizzare since she hasn’t even had a chance to show good behavior yet by serving her sentence! Thats bs, peoples pockets were obviously lined and hands were greased. Big money wins again. Of course, I would have to say if she got put in jail w/ other regular inmates, she would be eaten alive…not that thats a bad thing…

  20. Jess

    Just goes to show that she really does get what ever she fuckin wants. Not justice at all. This is unfair to the American people.

  21. sweetnsnooty

    I just threw up in my mouth a little.

  22. Fishstick

    Veggi, thats awesome, I’m totally stealing that.

  23. LeeLee

    Also technically right now she’s showing good behavior— you know, by not jumping into a car and escaping to Mexico.

  24. Is she in jail yet? What is she going to do without sperm for 23 days? Will she die of malnourishment?

  25. veggi

    Thanks Fishstick ;)
    What’s the ugliest city name you can think of? We need to rename Paris to……..

  26. 21st century digital boy

    Goddamn the lot of them!!! I knew she was going to get out of this somehow. Fuckers.

  27. good behavior? All she’s been doing is whining and trying to get out of jail!

  28. Kamihi

    SHIT this really pisses me off this racist nasty whore deserves to go to ALCATRAZ for a life sentence, evil stupid idiotic justice system.

  29. cunnybrook

    Bern = Boobs. Love your site, dude. Never read anything on it, but love it.

  30. Kevin_FederSwine

    Relax, everyone. This won’t be her last trip to jail. YES, she’ll have her sentence cut in half. YES, she’ll have her ass kissed in her “celebrity cell.” I say let the good times roll and let her Robert Downey Jr. train-wreck of a life follow its natural course. The best is yet to come.

  31. veggi

    anyone willing to rob a bank and get in there with her? Oh, the damage we could do on the inside.

  32. bungoone

    she is clearly in love with herself. look how she’s examining herself in the mirror. what a fucktard. she probably lifted one weight and had to purchase designer gloves to do so.

    if i saw someone in the gym with sunglasses on, i would definitely throw one of those huge exercise balls in their face, but for Paris, it would be a medicine ball.

  33. The_Squizz

    Do you think she sprays??

  34. hayden

    It’s not been reduced yet. It will be based on her behavior in Jail.

    “Paris Hilton could be released from jail after serving only half of her 45-day prison sentence if she behaves herself behind bars, Los Angeles justice authorities said Thursday.”

  35. veggi

    I love the word fucktard. And twatwaffle.

  36. .
    So was her good behavior…going on TV and saying that she was being unfairlly singled out? Telling the newspapers that the cops always stop her for doing nothing because they want to ask her out? Getting photographed smoking pot at the music festival? Please, somebody explain to me just what about her recent behavior has been “Good”

  37. Fishstick

    Veg: I think Intercourse, Pennsylvania pretty much sums her up.

  38. Fishstick

    Paris (Intercourse) is what is known as a “Power-Whiner.” This species is so god-awful annoying that punishments get magically reduced if only to quell the screeching queef sounds that emit from her.

  39. Danielle

    Perish.

  40. MassGrrl

    Now, I’ve never been to jail or anything (no, being taken into protective custody DOES NOT count), but my understanding is that you have to actually *do* some time to get time off for good behavior. Am I wrong?

  41. it’s amazing she has black guys in her posse
    – she makes racialist statements when intoxicated which is always.

  42. Frankrizzo

    Further evidence that the world just ain’t fair.

  43. Rob Thomas + John Tesh = Blowing my brains all over the keyboard.

  44. Vgegie, she’s like a TWINKIE, all blonde on the outside but full of VD on the inside!

  45. mmm…Twinkies. Oh, wait, that’s just my affinity for white-bred Asian men coming out.

  46. Geo

    So they are admitting she is going to get “special treatment” because she is (in)famous? So money and fame can legally get you out of getting your court directed punishment!

  47. GreatRack

    California can suck my cock. Whatever happened to the RULE OF FUCKING LAW?? Since when is “showing up for a hearing” considered GOOD BEHAVIOR? She showed up late how many times? She blew off her classes on alcohal abuse?

    Californians. Know this. You fuckers fuck up everything for the rest of the country. Your judges (and judgement) has become so liberal, you can’t even put fucking dumb twats like Paris behind bars.

    She get 23 days in her own cell in a wing with no other inmates. Fucking bullshit right there. And the world wonders why these pieces of shit act like they are entitled. After all, the system tells them they are better than tha average person and fuck if that isn’t just wrong.

    FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA!!! FUCK YOU!!

  48. Geo

    What exactly are the income guidelines for getting out of your jail sentence? Is there a actually networth amount? or just a flat fee?

  49. jack d. ripper

    You only hate us because you’re jealous of our good weather and fresh produce, GreatRack.

    Seriously, though. Don’t include every Californian in your little tirade. This has nothing to do with the Liberal majority of voters. It has to do with celebrity and favoritism.

    She’s getting off light because she’s Paris Hilton, and she’s getting her time cut because it’s presumed she’ll behave. Who else gets such a break before they’ve even gone to jail? Um…nobody!!

    Keep your fingers crossed. Maybe her limo will take a detour to Quentin and she’ll be gangraped for 48 hours straight before being stoned to death. Wouldn’t that be a pleasant surprise?

    Liberally, Jack D. Ripper

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