In what can only be read as a sign of the apocalypse, Paris Hilton has been given her own line of Hello Kitty figures by Sanrio. They’ve got the blonde hair, purses, and even Tinkerbell, but it still needs a certain something to make it undeniably Paris. Like a stripping pole. Or detachable crabs. Or a giant sign around her neck that says “I’m a worthless human being.” Maybe a penis in the mouth? I’m just throwing out ideas here, folks.
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Why is the doll wearing clothes? That’s nothing like Paris.
I’d love to be able to kick her in the box with someone else’s foot. Someone I didn’t like. Because then there would be discustoids all over their foot. Ewwwww, Paris Hilton’s box. *gag*
I wonder if the Paris dolly has a landing strip she can expose when she gets out her toy Bentley… “Now with VELRCO Crabs!!”
More like “hello pussy”
It needs herpes. That’ll do it.
“hello disease ridden pussy”
Oh but how the Japanese have taste…
Next? Paris Hilton underpants in a dispensing machine…
I vomited.
And not just a little bit in my mouth.
Don’t these toy makers understand this woman is NOT to be considered a role model for children? Putting her face on a kids toys is the equivalent of putting O.J.’s face on kitchen knife set.
i love it :)))
we want one…
paris, keep on fucking them over :)
Great, like we need the youth trying to idolize her. Apocalyse is approaching us, I’m sure of it.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
A name change is in order for this toy line, henceforth they shall be called:
Hello STD
> …like we need the youth
> …trying to idolize her.
less of the youth… lad
> Apocalyse is approaching
probably feels that way
time to time
damn fireflies get everywhere
It’s no coincidence that they released a Paris Hilton doll…. she recently BOUGHT the company, or atleast a large part of it. Yea…. there’s nothing like an STD-ridden slut running a little kids’ toy company.
The Japanese are the same people who eat poison blow fish so, yeah, it makes sense.
If you look at the doll through nightvision it’s clothing becomes as transparent as the person it’s modeled after. A whole line of accessory STDs are planned, with lovable, cuddly characters like Herpes, Syphilis, Genital Wart, and the terrible twosome Pubic Crabs. Each will come with a corresponding treatment. Herpes gets a packet of faux Valtrex, Syphilis a play syringe, Genital Wart a fake bottle of liquid nitrogen and the Crabbies come equipped with a tiny razor. Even Tinkerbell gets in on the action with a removable tapeworm and a some pretend heartworm medication. Hours of fun and early disease education. From the makers of Hello Kitty and Good-bye Asshole.
2 things:
1) i thought she already had her own toy line:
http://www.mcphee.com/categories/parasite.html
2) didn’t south park already do this episode???
Kids that buy these dolls will get “Cat scratch fever”!!!
Well, they’ll get some kind of itch anyway.
#15 – Whatever could you mean? She is this decades iconic blonde (funny since she is a natural brunette). Didn’t she tell you? They just made these because she is sooo great. I am sure it had nothing to do with her owning part of the company. Much like her “music” has nothing to do with the fact that she is capable of buying producers with enough talent to make her warbling sound like Gwen Stefani. Pure happenstance. She has talent and skill I tells you… she should SOOOO be immortalized…
She’s such a self promoter it’s disgusting.
#20 calm down :)
its all in hand…
…as it were [ooo eeerr :) ]
Why?
And I hope this piece of crap product and a disgrace to all Hello Kitty fans never makes it’s way to America. Let the Japanese keep her
23 you have simply lost the point
we live in a diffferent world,….
hey, herbie, where ya been the last couple of days?
somehow it’s just not the same when you’re not here.
we have to move around…
join the ponies :)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0490668/board/nest/50209986
#22 – I am rushing out to get my Hello Paris right now… WOOT!!
Next to market – The Paris Hilton erector set… Build your own Paris Hilton at home. Just makes lots of money and a good doctor…
This string of pics shows her demonic beginnings… (note the eyes)
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/paris_hilton_rhino.htm
I love you Paris!!
Well, since this trollop wants to endorse products, here are some ideas for her…
1. Paris Hilton panties (with trap doors in the front and back for easy entry)…
2. A new hotel by Hilton, called the “Hilton Paris Express Inn” – slogan, “no matter how full we are, Paris can always slip you in.”
3. Paris Hilton floor mop – when it gets real dirty, just wring it out and it’s ready to go again…
4. Paris Hilton bed in a bag – already has the cum stains on the sheets and a condom holder on the pillow…
5. Ford Motor Company’s new “pickup” the Paris, similar to the Eddie Bauer model, except with a bigger box and a rougher ride…only comes in automatic with “four on the floor” just like its namesake…
13. “Hello STD”, an educational toy for munchkin aspiring medical professionals.
It should include a Hello Microscope with Hello STD Culture Slides for reference, and live STD bacillus and viruses hidden in various orifices on the Hello Paris doll.
Of course you’d have to provide Hello Surgical Masks, Gloves, and Antibiotics, and have the parents sign Hello STD waivers, …
Everyone knows that Japan loves Paris Hilton and her sister. They’re American icons who represent what they think America is. Paris Hilton wa kawaii! It’s about time they released a Paris Hilton hello kitty doll. I want one!!!!!!!!!! Hope they release them in America.
I hear the “night vision green” doll is coming out just in time for Christmas.
#30…
You are kidding right??
Japanese people think that American females are promiscous sluts who give blowjobs to guys in elevators and make sex tapes and dress like prostitutes and attend parties for a living??? Whew…
How about “Hello Herpes”…
A cute little figure, with that stupid empty headed gaze Paris face with a cold sore attached to the body of a slimy, disease-ridden little germ figurine, called “Little Herpie” – since they think so highly of us in Japan, it will be a huge seller there!
hell yea i want a hello whitey doll so i can feed it to my two pit bulls sanford and son
i would like for her to suck my dick
then i bend her over and give her a huge prick
she loves the way black feels inside
knock the bitch out and throw her in the trunk of my ride
she wants to box i fight her to
slap the ho down like a fucking jew
mel gibson cheers and acts all happy
but i shit on him to and make him nice and crappy
nobody likes me and it makes me sick
its cuz im Justin Igger and I have a big dick
for real though
non yall can rythme better then me yo
26,
dunno, herbie. can i trust you??
we’ll see, we’ll see!
:)
Actually, they ought to make a Mr. Slave doll with Paris’s feet wiggling out of his ass – that would be a collectible. If you haven’t seen that South Park episode, you have missed one of Matt and Trey’s finest half-hours.
I find it funny that they market her to children. What next, a Jenna Jameson Barbie?
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/paris-hilton-sex-tape.htm
Products this horrendous don’t need punchlines.
So, I’ll relate another one. I was on Amazon reading the reviews of Paris’ kids’ books, and one person wrote that there was once a forest, breathing and giving oxygen by day, silent and whispering by night, and it had to be knocked down and turned into a book for Paris.
Thought I’d share.
Tom loves the cock. And…oh, never mind :P
dammit didnt anyone learn from south park that you cant let Paris Hilton be little girls’ role model?
How do you get Stavros to mount Paris ?
Pokemon
why all the bad comments about herpes?
i have herpes and, evidently, so do the 726 men and 5 women i’ve had dirty herpes sex with. why you got to hate? love is all you need! well, love and a feisty antibacterial cream. But as #17 says, that’s sold separately.
I’ll hold out for the Official Paris Hilton Voodoo Doll.
Surprise, suprise, from the country that practically invented bukkake and schoolgirl bondage…
What’s next? Paris Pokemon?? What the hell would that look like??? Is nothing sacred????
#5 Hilarious!
The Paris Hello Kitty Kit will include a pretty sparkly pink case to carry your supply of Valtrex, metallic pink tubes with a matching sparkly pink compact mirror to snort your pink cocaine and pink condoms.
Yes that’s what the world needs, a replicated doll of Paris Hilton. Look kids! She sucks, she bends over and lets her dog sniff her butt (not included) and she even will have sex on camera!
What is the world coming to?
#5…
You beat me to it…
It REALLY has to be…
“Hello Pussy”
Hello Pity.
Hello Chlamyddy
The Hello Kitty line is working on a new and upcoming video of Hello Kitty in her very first sex tape. It will be called Hello Pussy: A Night in Herpeville.