Paris Hilton gets exposed

January 24th, 2007 // 76 Comments
paris-exposed.jpg

Remember when Paris Hilton forgot to pay her bill for a storage facility and all her stuff was sold to an unidentified buyer? Well the owner of all that wonderful crap launched ParisExposed.com yesterday which has a collection of photographs, home videos, diaries, love letters, recorded phone conversations, and phone numbers of friends and celebrities, which were all left behind in the storage facility. The site charges a monthly fee of $39.97 to gain access to footage of her in a “sexy bubble bath” video, as well as various shots of her in “racy situations” and footage of her drinking and using illegal substances.

Who exactly would pay for this stuff? A quick Google search will get you three hundred shots of Paris Hilton’s vagina and a video of her having sex. And we’ve already seen her love letters, so the only interesting thing this site actually offers is her diary. And why would you pay $39.97 to read a book filled with “I like boys” written in crayon on every page?

superficial

  1. no one you know

    Good lord. The apocalypse has arrived.

  2. sounds like hiltons effort of getting back into teh spotlight.

    we’ve seen these “shocking” photos one time too many.

  3. rat_whisprrrr

    Good God….I’m sure I could find a MUCH better way to spend $39.97….You know like paying some monkeys to fly up my ass!! It is unreal the extremes that this skank will go to in order to keep her name in the tabloids….and why do I see her NOT paying a bill at all and planting shit for someone to “find”….what a fucking PUKE!

  4. rat_whisprrrr

    Good God….I’m sure I could find a MUCH better way to spend $39.97….You know like paying some monkeys to fly up my ass!! It is unreal the extremes that this skank will go to in order to keep her name in the tabloids….and why do I see her NOT paying a bill at all and planting shit for someone to “find”….what a fucking PUKE!

  5. rat_whisprrrr

    I HATE when it double posts

  6. NipsyHustle

    what’s really interesting about this is that at first, the items were going to be “auctioned off” but now you can only pay to see them.

    maybe paris’ little plan will backfire. supposedly the videos are all of her doing drugs and having sex with various people. maybe now everyone will stay away from her to avoid having their own shenanigans revealed by this opportunist.

  7. BarbadoSlim

    pathetic, the guy better go to a clinic pronto if he’s been handling that stuff without surgical gloves.

  8. Am I the only one who can set my watch by how often Paris Hilton gets noticed? Really, what would celeb news be without her and Hohan…

  9. Shanipie

    What I wanna know is who the fuck has all these random naked picture and videos of themselves. She must think a lot of herself to fucking have a storage unit devoted to her skinny naked body shit.

    Holy Hell, why does anyone even care about her anyways, she is sucha stupid ass whore. HAHA although there are so many funny things to say about her its good to have her around for the humor.

  10. biatcho

    The guy in that picture with the skankbag while she’s getting groped & fondled looks like Ilan from Top Chef. I thought he was cooler than that… now I hate him.

  11. no one you know

    This just doesn’t scream “profitable endeavor” to me. The first few people who pay to view this stuff simply take screen shots of it and show it to whomever they like. As for the “racy” video, why stick forks in your eyes a second time?

  12. Niecy

    Why would anyone pay for that crap?

    Please, let’s all ignore Paris Hilton and maybe she will go away.

  13. BarbadoSlim

    That’s ’cause it’s a TOTAL publicity stunt. This person doesn’t have any meaningful employment, or talent. And her wing of the Hilton family is not really THAT rich, I mean they don’t have hundreds of millions. So, this is how she stays on the public eye so morons and booze companies keep paying her to skank it up.

  14. danielle

    I’D PAY 100,000* TO READ HER OBITUARY.

    (in monopoly cash)

  15. BigJim

    How about we all agree to pay $39.97 to a hitman so he can take this bitch out?

  16. BigJim

    And by “this bitch”, I could mean either Paris or danielle.

  17. ValeWolf

    #15 – LOL

    Why pay if she gives us the exact same things for free?

    You’d think she’d be more careful with her private stuff, especially videos, since her first sex tape came out… Moron.

  18. brianpante

    i love paris hilton… shes incredible! seriously, i think shes amazing

  19. danielle

    17.

    I’d pay 200,000* just to watch someone hit your dumbass with wet brick. Of course, the person who’d actually do it would be your mother….and she’d have to include front row seats and popcorn to get the two hundred grand. Tell her that for me, will ya?

    *-(also “monopoly” cash).

  20. pookiedoo

    Rumor has it that the “unseen video footage” shows her using Nicole Richie as a human dildo.

  21. The guy who bought this stuff and is selling online access to it obviously doesn’t read thesuperficial.com and others. He wouldn’t have wasted his time : there’s no audience.

  22. no one you know

    @21…THAT’S a good one.

  23. BarbadoSlim

    wet brick?

    more mass? I ….don’t ?!?!

    Care to explain the scientific principle behind such a bizarre thing.

  24. wow

    she gave cher’s son herpes? No!

    //displaying my shocked face.
    ///not really.

  25. I’d still shag Paris rotten.

  26. danielle

    25.

    I believe the “hit man” that you paid your last 39.97 to could better explain this “scientific” phenom.

    Let me get him on the phone…..

  27. bedbugsandballyhoo

    Oh my heck! This is probably just another one of her stupid “accidental” publicity stunts. The girl can’t stand it if she is out of the public eye for 5 seconds. Everyone knows she goes on X17 and signs in under different screen names so she can post about herself while trying to make it look like she has legions of adoring fans. Please everyone ignore her so she will go away…or at least have a mental breakdown from not being the center of attention.

  28. Whammer Jammer

    I’m with Big Jim, #16. I will gladly pony up my $40.00, anytime, anywhere. But I want a guarantee that it WILL happen.

  29. #10: “What I wanna know is who the fuck has all these random naked picture and videos of themselves. She must think a lot of herself…”

    She also carries around a scrapbook of herself and her ex-fiance.

    When I say carries around — I mean she keeps it *in her car* for convenient reading.

    http://www.hollyscoop.com/9045/2007/01/06/what-would-paris-hilton-do-without-the-paps.aspx

    I think she might be a narcissist with hoarding tendencies.

  30. Brian Green and The Pink Penis

    F-Sucker,

    Is that all you ever say on every thread?

    You sound like me!

    Hi danielle!

    I love you nigger!

  31. BigJim

    danielle, you brainless bucket of cunt fungus:

    The only thing more useless than you is TypeKey.

  32. DrBob2607

    I so enjoy the disjointed ramblings of danielle on these posts. She obviously has taken more balls to the head than Doogie Howser..
    Keep up the fair work, kid..

    The Doc.

  33. LL

    I think the bigger question (that someone hinted at above) is WTF does Paris have a storage unit (had, until it was supposedly sold off)? Doesn’t she have numerous homes? Doesn’t the hotel-and-other-property-owning Hilton family have anyplace Paris can stash her shit well away from the prying eyes of the public? Or was this the whole point, that it would look like the crap fell into the wrong hands through no fault of her own? I still haven’t decided if Paris is smart enough to engineer PR stunts more complex than showing her boobs and pretending to do it with her sister in the back of a limo. My guess would be no, but maybe she’s really a genius.

  34. danielle

    31.

    What was that, Casper?

    32.

    That’s odd. I could’ve sworn I overheard your mother saying “Damnit boy!, get your uselss ass outta ma trailur and get a dern job!”.

    Define “useless” dear.

  35. danielle

    Also,

    Dr. Billybob, is it?

    Where’d you get your degree?

    Perhaps on the back of a tampon box? Super Heavy, huh?

    Go fuck a tree retard.

  36. Lowlands

    (33)Three races nicely mixed up finally beat up the one.Hahahaha,this is a funny one.

  37. wedgeone

    As much as I hate Paris & the reason behind her fame, she isn’t behind this website.
    It’s been created by someone who bought all of the stuff off of someone else who bought all of her stuff when she abandoned her storage unit. Supposedly, she’s thinking about suing to shut the site down.

    Someone totally unrelated is making a buck off of her name. And why not? If Paris can make a buck for a nightclub being named after her, and for attending the Vienna Opera Dance, why shouldn’t someone else make a buck off of her name in an equally worthless venture?

  38. Lowlands

    Maybe she’s a dude which is trying to get these expensive surgery financed.I really don’t know who she is.

  39. ValeWolf

    Ok, so I have an account on imdb.com and apparently someone was dumb enough to pay and get an account. Bottom line: he says the site is lame, there’s nothing interesting or new and if you watched the trailer you pretty much have seen everything on the site.

  40. wedgeone

    DamYell – take notes:
    #32 – funny.
    #33 – funny
    #36 – Not knowing that tampons don’t come in “Super Heavy” size; they are “Super Plus” size – funny, because you’ve once again proven how stupid you are.
    – Trying to relate “Super Heavy” into a joke about getting a Ph.D off of a tampon box – NOT funny. I believe that the common pop culture term references “cereal box” or “Cracker Jack Box”, not tampon box.

    Damn, and the one time you should have used the word “Cracker”, and you missed it. What a shame.

    Super Heavy … must be the strength of material that the awning company uses when making your granny-panties.

  41. mrs.t

    Thank you, Vale Wolf, thank you. I just watched that trailer and I was ready to hand over the $39.97 just to see the kilo of blow on that guys chest.

    You have saved me from myself.

    Gentle Reminder: Please cease and desist with the feeding of the trolls. Just envision the giant hard-on they get when they see someone actually paying attention to them. You know, they get home from school after another day of being ignored by The Cool Kids, have their snack, then get on mom’s computer to fuck with some grownups.

    Have some self-control, for Chrissake.

  42. deacons317

    Ok, so obviously no one likes Paris for Paris. We check this site (and others) to see the new ways she can embarrass herself, and entertain us.

    This site’s trailer actually has me asking… when will this stuff be available for free? Being pathetic is so hot.

  43. fame is funny

    Is it just me or do I already know everything I need to know about her personal life, and much, much, much, much more? Any self respecting web-pirate will put all this on the internet for free anyway. If I can get a multi-million dollar movie before it hits the theaters, I’m pretty sure you could get this less-than-valuable cache of big birds personal crayon scribblings.

  44. danielle

    42.

    Take notes.

    Crackers have NO humor.

    I could say BUG and your ass would laugh.

    Get real, “Dr. Phil”.

  45. mimi

    wheres the trailer??

  46. Danklin

    He calls Paris a [I]supermodel[/I]. Hahahahahahahaha

    hahahahaahahahahahaha

    What a tool.

  47. Danklin

    He called Paris a [I]Supermodel[/I] Hahahahahahahahaha

    Hahahahaha

    Oh jesus, what a tool.

  48. In other news, …

    I believe I do love me some cock!

Leave A Comment