Paris Hilton has been officially charged for the incident earlier this month with two misdemeanors including driving under the influence and driving with a blood-alcohol level of .08 or higher. Her arraignment is set for Thursday and she faces a maximum punishment of a $1,000 fine and/or six months in jail.
“I’d be very surpised if she does any jailtime,” says Lawrence Taylor, an L.A.-based attorney with 30 years experience handling DUI cases. “If she pleads guilty, she’d likely pay a fine, attend DUI school and be on probation for three years.” “Paris regrets the entire event,” Mintz told People. “She had never been arrested before, so to go through the police procedure was very disorienting for her. It was personally humiliating for her; she is not taking it lightly or frivolously.”
And just cause, here are some pictures of Paris Hilton in Germany promoting the ultra classy canned sparkling wine, Rich Prosecco. You’d think a DUI might affect Paris Hilton’s ability to promote canned alcohol, but that would only make sense in a world that isn’t completely mad, where people get paid more money to occasionally flash their genitals than to save lives.
Philip Ramirez | September 26, 2006 at 2:32 pm
FIRST.
That’s what she gets.
Philip Ramirez | September 26, 2006 at 2:34 pm
BTW, in that first picture that guy seems to be looking at her and thinking “What the fuck is this bitch wearing.”
mikeski | September 26, 2006 at 2:35 pm
What Paris doesn’t know is that we’ve secretly replaced her lawyer with a former NFL linebacker. Let’s see what happens next.
Sara Bear | September 26, 2006 at 2:37 pm
Paris Hilton is such an idiot. What hast she done? T.V reality show, a book, purfume, movies, a failed misic career, why not add canned wine (very classy paris) and a DUI to her resume. Paris hiton Give it a rest.
PunjabPete | September 26, 2006 at 2:43 pm
Irony defined: Most of the time we look at these jackoff celebs and wonder when they will slip far enough to start doing porn…
I guess the joke is on us… Touche Paris. Touche.
Sara Bear | September 26, 2006 at 2:48 pm
That Paris Porno is what made her famous. I had no idea who Paris Hilton was untill that Porn was released. Right around the same time as she first starred in the Simple life. That porno is what made you Paris. Mayeb you should stick to what your good at. Sucking dink and being a STD infested Whore.
bigponie | September 26, 2006 at 2:49 pm
stupid ass server.
WTF is she doing, is she trying to deep throat that straw to get to the strawberry or should I say nutsack.
Sara Bear | September 26, 2006 at 2:55 pm
I acutally woudl like to seem some before and after pictures of paris hilton. You can tell she’s had so much plastic surgery, im surprised her own mother can reconize her. Maybe she’ll turn out liek Michael Jackson, and her nose will fall off. Bitch will get what she deserves.
Sara Bear | September 26, 2006 at 3:01 pm
Check this URL out…..
Sara Bear | September 26, 2006 at 3:01 pm
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/paris_hilton_rhino.htm
Binky | September 26, 2006 at 3:10 pm
If she drinks any more of that stuff – she’ll probably choke herself on those braids.
Brain Embolism | September 26, 2006 at 3:26 pm
Hey Ferret, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Lawrence Taylor (LT) now a minister?
ValeWolf | September 26, 2006 at 3:28 pm
Her face looks like crap. Tons of pimples and warts. Gross.
bigponie | September 26, 2006 at 3:38 pm
her ankles look like barbara streisand’s tits.
ILovePapaSmurf | September 26, 2006 at 3:39 pm
She looks as plastic as a Barbie Doll. And probably a cheap whore, too.
CelebSlam.com | September 26, 2006 at 4:02 pm
i want to hurt her
http://www.celebslam.com
PunjabPete | September 26, 2006 at 4:07 pm
#6 she is all about the DINK. For sure…
Her Rhinoplasty and other facial changes made tons of difference. However, no make can help with those craters and divots. I step closer to the end we come. One step…
Another post without Paris tears… My day gross darker yet….
Skip Smith | September 26, 2006 at 4:22 pm
I want to hurt her. With my penis. In her vagina.
LilRach | September 26, 2006 at 4:28 pm
On a positive note that dress makes her boobs look bigger
bigponie | September 26, 2006 at 4:32 pm
#18
be warned her vagina is really a ‘venis cock trap’, stick it in but you won’t stick it out.
HollyJ | September 26, 2006 at 4:33 pm
I HATE her fucking lazy eye.
The dress makes her boobs look bigger because it’s stuffed with material to push them up. Everything below the actual topline of the dress is padding. ALL OF IT
PunjabPete | September 26, 2006 at 4:45 pm
Everything between the pony tails is padding too…
Dory | September 26, 2006 at 4:51 pm
PunjabPete #27… i just fell of my chair laughing. Thankyou.
mikaosky | September 26, 2006 at 5:13 pm
What’s funny is that some Hollywood rehab clinic is trying to get Paris into their program which allows her to continue her drinking and partying.
Here: http://www.ragrap.com
Nora | September 26, 2006 at 5:58 pm
Ugh! Why won’t she DIE already??
BigJim | September 26, 2006 at 6:52 pm
The German polka band was playing in the background and Stavros came in started to hump the tuba. When asked what the fuck he was doing, he replied that he saw the gaping tuba hole and thought it was Paris’ snatch.
He then said he figured out something was wrong because the tuba was kind of tight compared to Paris, and it didn’t smell like a can of week-old-tuna fish.
saltpeanuts | September 26, 2006 at 7:06 pm
Holy shit. I kid you not, she’s wearing the same dress my prom-date wore in 1988. That thieving bitch.
And that is a can of solid gold squawk tightener. Nothing but the best for Paris. Still, I’d bang her like a jackhammer on an El Lay freeway.
HollyJ | September 26, 2006 at 7:25 pm
Her fake hair looks SO trashy. I mean, it’s not HARD to grow hair. Fuck. It’s not like getting a PhD in Astrophysics. Just DON’T CUT IT, bitch!
Otherwise, deal with the fact that you have 3″-long ugly lesbian Army hair that’s been fried to hell and back. AND brown eyes (not that there’s anything wrong w brown eyes, but she always pretends to have blue). AND a big genetic fucking hook nose.
The long fake hair doesn’t make you less herpes-ridden or moronic!!!
Paris is a complete waste of carbon.
KevinTheProdigy.com | September 26, 2006 at 7:42 pm
Congradulations Paris!
This is the 1,000,000th thing you’ve sucked!
Sassy | September 26, 2006 at 9:33 pm
I’ve wet myself because I can’t stop laughing. And those gold gloves…dear GOD.
saradevil | September 26, 2006 at 10:35 pm
man, the st. pauli girl has really let herself go.
marc of teh place | September 26, 2006 at 10:39 pm
Main photo: Isn’t that Hank Hill?
checkyourshorts | September 26, 2006 at 10:45 pm
I’m grooving on the big yoni stapled to her abdomen. Very subtle.
I’m also looking forward to the trial, which should take all of five minutes.
PARIS: Your Honor, I’m like so so sorry. It’s just, like, I’m not that smart.
PROSECUTOR: I show you State’s proposed exhibit 1. What are these?
PARIS: My douchebag statements on the radio the day after the incident, expressing no remorse at all about what I did and how getting arrested “no big deal” and how unfair it was the press made fun of me.
PROS: And exhibit number 2. What are these?
PARIS: Photos of me getting sloshed in a gold German milkmaid costume.
PROS: The prosecution rests.
diebutterfly | September 27, 2006 at 2:20 am
“…where people get paid more money to occasionally flash their genitals than to save lives.”
I couldn’t agree more, while cancer researchers have to beg for money, stars demand
jazzmine | September 27, 2006 at 3:28 am
Canned wine, hahah. How incredibly classy. Ew her face really bothers me.
jazzmine | September 27, 2006 at 3:30 am
Is it just me or does the guy on the far right look a lot like Mr. Bean?
AmberDextrose | September 27, 2006 at 4:16 am
It’s Maria von Vaginus Cock Trapp!
marie-jo | September 27, 2006 at 4:44 am
#7 Now now, we all now she doesn’t suck dink (? lol). It’s well known that it gives you pimples and facial craters.
Mo | September 27, 2006 at 5:31 am
Sadly, the death penalty doesn’t apply in this case.
jrzmommy | September 27, 2006 at 5:40 am
It’s like the Swiss Miss chick grew up and went to juvee. What the fuck is she wearing?
stevob2006 | September 27, 2006 at 5:58 am
not exactly a stranger to ‘public humiliation’ are you paris
jrzmommy | September 27, 2006 at 6:00 am
….and the strawberry REALLY adds a touch of class.
RichPort | September 27, 2006 at 6:07 am
Why is her left eye always staring at the bridge of her nose? Please literally throw the book at her. It might knock her renegade eye back into place. And we all know DUI stands for Dirty, Ugly, and Infested.
No applause, just throw money… many thanks.
jrzmommy | September 27, 2006 at 6:14 am
….renegade eye. haha!!
Vylith | September 27, 2006 at 6:24 am
..oh, i see
(now)
to have a lens mounted on your face.
exit now please.
frenchtoaststix | September 27, 2006 at 6:51 am
What, is she the fucking new St. Pauli Girl girl?? And why is Geoffrey Rush standing behind her? ACK! I must be hallucinating. Time to up my meds….
enrapturelj | September 27, 2006 at 7:24 am
Stupid bitch, her nose looked better before she had anything done to it. And what’s up with those assinine poses of hers like the “I’m about to trip over my own feet” pose she always does (picture 4). Too bad only the good die young. (In which case we’ll be seeing her on that smucker’s people over 100 segment that Willard Scott does). How depressing.
Steeno | September 27, 2006 at 7:47 am
wow, super bad pic.
instead of the usual perfection, we see bad skin, acne scarring, colored eye contacts, mis-maintained dye job.
how many of you would still hit that?
…aside from the health risk
countess olenska | September 27, 2006 at 8:21 am
Why does she dress for every function like it’s a costume ball? The Heidi get-up is fine for five year olds on Halloween, but she looks like a big gold be-pigtailed mistake. And PS, Paris– Madonna did the look justice many moons ago at the premiere of her Sex book.
Equalparts | September 27, 2006 at 8:25 am
In her defense on the outfit–that is some traditional garb or something for the promotion she was doing.
The things that gets me is the whole, “Paris is taking this very, very seriously.” about her DUI. I remember after it happened, that human canker sore walking around going, “like, oh my god, it’s so not such a big deal, nothing even happened it’s so not a problem.”
Now that the bitch is getting CHARGED her tune changes.
I loathe that woman.