Paris Hilton was issued a traffic ticket after parking in a red zone and losing the keys to her $400,000 Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren. And living up to the Hilton family name, Nicky Hilton stupidly asks: “Can I put time in her meter for her?” failing to realize that they’re parked in a red zone.
“She’s not above the law,” says the refreshingly fair traffic officer. “No one’s above the law.”
And if that weren’t bad enough, a reader who’s friends with Paris’ assistant (the woman driving the car at the end) says the keys were actually in the ignition the whole time. So she can tell me all she wants her stupid blonde persona is just an act, but if it looks, acts, and quacks like a duck, I’m pretty fucking sure it’s a spoiled bitch who parks in red zones and thinks two plus two equals doggie.
scrooge | August 9, 2006 at 6:39 pm
They haven’t taken away her license yet?
isegoria | August 9, 2006 at 6:40 pm
hahahha
what a dumb cunt.
BarbadoSlim | August 9, 2006 at 6:42 pm
I bet her car reeks of weed, crusty semen and Brandon Davis.
double yuck
MeanNate | August 9, 2006 at 6:43 pm
The first place I would’ve looked for the missing keys would be her vagina. And by “vagina” I mean STD factory.
MissaRB | August 9, 2006 at 6:45 pm
If you don’t want attention when you park in front of the free clinic..
Don’t park in a red zone
RichPort | August 9, 2006 at 7:00 pm
Every idiot that’s ever been with he feels like he’s parked in a red zone. And herpes is one hell of a ticket…
Ivana Mandalay | August 9, 2006 at 7:01 pm
God, I wish this stupid bitch would just go die somewhere already. What a waste of human skin.
Adult Underoos | August 9, 2006 at 7:07 pm
i want to poop on her windshield
MissaRB | August 9, 2006 at 7:10 pm
My man was about to rock my world- then he saw Paris – maybe tomorrow – thanks SF guy
BarbadoSlim | August 9, 2006 at 7:12 pm
If the L.A.P.D. had any cojones they would chase her down for an alleged “busted tailight” and then proceed to beat her, and any companions, to death with their clubs.
She could be listed as killed while resisting.
The Juice | August 9, 2006 at 7:15 pm
Im absolutely sure that all the idiot hollywood types cant resist reading about themselves. So Paris I’m sure you’ll read this. You look like a fucking muppet. Do you know what a muppet is? Good… well you look like Gonzo with that fucking beak, that big head, and that slit you call a mouth.
sharkbite | August 9, 2006 at 7:17 pm
LOL @ the Hilton sisters. So darling, in their stupidity.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
SkinnySnobbyBitch | August 9, 2006 at 7:18 pm
#11 You are my hero.
I needed a good laugh. TY
ToiletDuck | August 9, 2006 at 7:21 pm
Stupid fuckin’ whore…
I wonder if she offered the cop a blowjob to get out of the ticket…
UNWASHEDMASSES | August 9, 2006 at 7:21 pm
The keys were in the ignition. Let that one sink in, folks. The infantile bitch left the keys to a $400,000.00 automobile in the ignition. Now consider this – if she’s that careless with her limited edition Benz, how careless is she with her gaping cock hilt? If it wasn’t attached to her, or her routine STD flare ups didn’t demand attention, her pussy would be probably be used as a hackey sack by a bunch of Vietnamese kids.
stingybtchsuzy | August 9, 2006 at 7:23 pm
crusty semen and Brandon Davis?
I could have eaten after crusty semen. But thinking about Brandon Davis, the Human Exxon Valdez? I don’t think I can eat the rest of the week…thanks, BarbadoSlim…
Italian Stallion | August 9, 2006 at 7:26 pm
She’s so fucking stupid!!!
She thought the sign said end zone. She’s so used to guy’s yelling touchdown when they score with her herpe ass, she figured she would try to score one herself but failed as usual……….
stingybtchsuzy | August 9, 2006 at 7:26 pm
#15 – isn’t this the same car she “lost” in a bet at one of her parents’ casinos? pish, what’s $400K? the Austrians pay her that to wave at people over there….
SkinnySnobbyBitch | August 9, 2006 at 7:28 pm
And a P.S. as fat as I supposedly (cunt zpell rite) am to the person who thinks I’m fat…you’re right. I’m a BIG FAT SACK OF SHIT! All I ever do is sit in front of the computer and put other people down. Except, of course, when I’m dragging my fat ass around the mall tracking down the best deals so I can be unique just like everybody else. And I’m a slutbag that has sex with guys and doesn’t use a condom, then cries to my friends when I gat an STD or pregnant. Oh…and I’m sooooooo stupid that I researched Wrigley stadium to do my book report on “Catcher in the Rye”
(*rolls eyes, smirks, smacks lips, and gets on with life*)
guest1234567 | August 9, 2006 at 7:32 pm
The Greeks invented Paris Hilton.
PunjabPete | August 9, 2006 at 7:34 pm
#15 It is used for that but the kids were Greek…
PDP – PLEASE DIE PARIS
TCLTC – with whipped cream…
bigponie | August 9, 2006 at 7:41 pm
Wanna know how to swindle a million dollars from Paris.
whisper in her ear and say, “if you pay me a million dollars, I’ll let you suck my dick”…easy money
ToiletDuck | August 9, 2006 at 7:42 pm
They should arrest her, take a horrendously ugly picture of her, then toss her into a cell full of hard core black prostitutes who would hold her down and perform forced cunnilingus on her while the guards looked the other way…
Oops, I forgot, she would like that…
ChickenScratch | August 9, 2006 at 8:04 pm
@18
Nope, that was all fake, snopes.com told me so.
Apparently in our day and age, you can’t use cars, jewels, pink slips, underoo’s, and so on to make a bet, only cash.
I used to love Gonzo, now I see him differently.
krisdylee | August 9, 2006 at 8:18 pm
I am starting to find Paris intriguing… in a “what the fuck is wrong with the world that can produce such an idiotic slut who thinks she is worthy of adoration” kind of way.
Jacq | August 9, 2006 at 8:25 pm
Who the fuck leaves a $400K car UNLOCKED? Stupid whore. Then again, I’ve never gotten near a car that expensive which probably means that I don’t deserve to be alive.
pirhan | August 9, 2006 at 8:26 pm
That’s freaking awesome.
The Juice | August 9, 2006 at 8:29 pm
#13, np.Hey Paris… know what np means. hahah. NO YOU DONT!!! haha
Pairs portrait-> :/(
The Juice | August 9, 2006 at 8:31 pm
Another Paris portrait
*:/) Nice hairdo!!
HolisticWisdomcom | August 9, 2006 at 8:31 pm
Oh, is that what the pretty red color is for?
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/paris-hilton-sex-tape.htm
PunjabPete | August 9, 2006 at 8:47 pm
You know this is all our fault… we let them walk among us freely…
nc72 | August 9, 2006 at 9:50 pm
No one’s above the law? And if the parking maid got a ticket do you think she’d have to pay as well?
http://www.exposay.com/paris-hilton/1/c/1751/
LL | August 9, 2006 at 11:33 pm
Jebus, #11 is right, she does sorta look like Gonzo, can’t believe I never noticed it before. Except I think Gonzo’s IQ is higher. And he’s a puppet made entirely of fabric. An inanimate object. I think you see where I’m goin with this.
Having said that, Paris should have just started screamin about Jews, then millions of people would have elevated her to sainthood and defended her by saying that people are persecuting her by pointing out when she says stupid things that reflect how much she really really hates Jews.
You have all that money, Paris, buy a clue. Damn.
lindseyissocool | August 9, 2006 at 11:33 pm
There is nothing worse than a stupid bitch that will never admit that she’s RETARDED… and a whore… and without personality (’cause we all know that you can be a retard and have personality… we’ll love you)… or trying to pretend that you have talent. GIVE IT UP PARIS, WE ALL KNOW YOU SUCK, BUT THE ULTIMATE GETTING REAL WITH THE WORLD: ADMIT THAT YOU ARE A RETARD, HAVE NO PERSONALITY AND TRULY SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO LIVE.
blueballs | August 9, 2006 at 11:49 pm
What makes her really stupid is that she buys a $400,000 car.
dmarie | August 10, 2006 at 12:24 am
@ #20. Well said. Although, at least in this picture we don’t actually have to SEE Paris Hilton, which by FDA standards requires a condom. Which is bad for us girls…
babybunny | August 10, 2006 at 12:33 am
Why am I commenting on this…because I hope Parasite will be curious to know how intensely disliked she is by oh, the entire human race, just to name a few people. I wonder, if I was born into a shitload of money, would I be that obnoxious, and blatantly offensive (I’m trying not to be too over the top here) and just plain nasty…no, I would try to maintain a modicom of modesty…PARASITE, PEOPLE DON’T LIKE YOU…YOU ARE A NASTY SPOILED CUNT…AND YOU NEED TO – well so much for not going over the top, but you need to seriously disappear for about 10 – 90 years…
dmarie | August 10, 2006 at 1:04 am
@ 37- is 10-90 years the incubation period for super-herpes?
seriously LMAO.
somethingoriginal | August 10, 2006 at 5:14 am
i’m kind of surprised she hasn’t started driving on the footpath.
lisad71 | August 10, 2006 at 5:57 am
@23 This is actually the storyline for the next “The Simple Life”. Paris and Nicole’s big falling out was over Paris wanting all that plunger action for her self. And the prisoners aren’t going to perform cunnilingus on her – even they have standards.
yasmin3000y | August 10, 2006 at 6:29 am
r u guys jus jelouse of her or somethin???because really as much as i dnt like her i still think what u guys r sayin is pretty harsh
Chelsea Crazy | August 10, 2006 at 7:38 am
What are you? Good witch of the east? Perlease……. She deserves what she gets… She brings it on herself just to get attention…. we’ve had enuff of her alredi
RichPort | August 10, 2006 at 8:51 am
I got a ticket once for parking my $400 ’78 Pinto on the side of the highway, which I’m told is always a no parking zone. Actually the ticket was for taking a massive dump on the highway shoulder in full view of law enforcement. And by ticket of course I mean a government issued revolver to my neck and mace to my eyes. Apparently reaching for your cellphone at night after admitting to a cop that you’re so high you think he looks like Eric Estrada and then calling him a greasy wetback makes some cops nervous. Last time I go to Tiajuana on a drunken dare…
jrzmommy | August 10, 2006 at 9:07 am
As if she cares. I mean, the chick pulls up to wherever the hell it was and sees an empty spot right in front and, being that she has the world’s most unbelievable sense of entitlement, just thinks, “Duh, of course this spot’s for me!” never considering it’s a No Parking zone. The word NO has never been introduced to these two. I think the Superfish guy summed up Nicky Hilton’s intelligence perfectly when he said she is the kind of kid that would accidentaly glue her hands to her face in school and then blame the class hamster.
sweetcheeks | August 10, 2006 at 9:08 am
Lindsay Lohan girds her loins with granny panties.
DancingQueen | August 10, 2006 at 9:32 am
If I had F-U money like this dumb bitch I would just disappear and live the high life. I’d definitely buy an island in the Caribbean so I could get away from people like her. Why does this publicity whore need so much attention I wonder? Not enough hugs when she was a child obviously. Just goes to prove that money cannot buy love. Or brains.
spatz | August 10, 2006 at 9:55 am
41 r u drnk?
dmarie | August 10, 2006 at 10:18 am
Paris Hilton is a waste of space and oxygen. She grasps at fame, but the fact is that she is still a (barely) B-list celebrity with no talent. Oh wait, is having sex with 592834 guys a talent? Well, I guess she screwed the pooch on that one now too because apparently she doesn’t do that anymore either.
Here is a tip, Paris. Take cash for your services, it would be more honest.
Bioplant | August 10, 2006 at 10:23 am
I liked her video. Was the feel good movie of the year.
Spunkbubble on J. Alba's chest | August 10, 2006 at 10:27 am
We’ve all seen “what a whore” or “what a retard ” on here about this broad (god knows ive done it a 100 times) a zillion times so I am going to approach this comment on a more serious note.
If your mega rich and your goal in life is to be an entertainer don’t you think the sensible solution would be to take acting, singing, and dancing lessons? Oh. I ‘m sorry I forgot who we were talking about here.