Paris Hilton for Guess. So classy.

April 22nd, 2009 // 105 Comments

Here’s Paris Hilton ad campaign for the Guess Spring/Summer 2009 collection. Because apparently they want to lose a lot of money. Who knows? That said, two observations:

1. If PETA truly cares about animals, why aren’t they armed to the teeth and pulling that Chihuahua out of Paris’ house? I mean, Michael Vick gets jail time yet this chick visibly commits animal abuse in an international ad campaign. Where’s the justice?

2. Are my eyes deceiving me or did they seriously airbrush thighs onto Paris to make her look heavier? I can understand cropping out the tentacles, but it’s pretty much a scientific fact she has the legs of a flamingo. No, really, I tried to stick her in my yard once. Totally killed my lawn.

NOTE: I tossed in some old shots from Guess to round out the pics. Feel free to point that out as much as possible.

Photos: Guess

  1. EuroNeckPain

    #9, not man hands, but serious Photoshop DISASTER
    The angle of the hand holding the cell phone is plain wrong.
    Look at the elbow compared to the rest of the body: the position is impossible.

    I thought that Guess was a rich company that could afford good professionals. Maybe they used a trainee because it was Paris Hilton, the other guys were busy with real models.

  2. #50 – I’d give that one like a 2 out of 10…

  3. Charlie

    The dog between her legs is clearly wincing from the smell and molten lava that is burning its fur.

  4. Misty

    She kind of looks like an old Version of Christine Aguliera in some of those pics! Not sure if thats a good or bad thing!

  5. Misty

    She kind of looks like an old Version of Christine Aguliera in some of those pics! Not sure if thats a good or bad thing!

  6. Misty

    She kind of looks like an old Version of Christine Aguliera in some of those pics! Not sure if thats a good or bad thing!

  7. get real

    this is so 2004…

  8. loved`

    air blush or not fo`h 1st she look gd. look pertty!

  9. Sarah

    Has anyone looked at the expression on that poor dog’s face?

    You’d look like that too if your face were that close to Paris Hilton’s crotch.

  10. Thor

    Let me guess, David La Chappele? Looks like his boring, repetitive played out style. Both should take a jet with DJ AM and Travis. Cuntney Love also…

  11. Joe Blow


    In picture #1 I can hear Cheech Marin’s voice saying “Dammmmn, what’s this bitch got up in there, a dead possum?

  12. monkeyytoe

    Why does Paris still wear those ridiculous blue contacts?

    I know some of these pics are old, but she’s getting close to 30, and the blow up doll/barbie whore look needs to go. The first thing that came to mind when I looked at the pic of her putting lip gloss on, was the movie “White Chicks.” That’s not a good thing, Paris.

  13. I don’t care what anyone says about her attitude and personality.

    she’s an absolute stunner! some really good photography there aswell ;)

  14. Jamie's Uterus

    In other news the poor dog now has venereal warts on its back and crabs around his tuckus. Will Paris’s reign of disease spreading ever be stopped?

  15. just sayin

    I like the old ones much more….

  16. romania with love

    these pictures are from way back. they deff arent knew she looks alot different now and they prob wouldnt ask her to be in another campaign

  17. Ortal

    This gir has so much money, but she looks SO bad! I wonder what she’d look like if she didn’t have all this.. Lame!

  18. Barry O

    Why does Guess advertise with a crocodile eating a chihuahua?


  19. Kitty

    I love how pained the dog looks. Swear to go he’s dying of the herps and catching the glare off P’s big, shiney ego at the same time.

  20. Towelhead

    That dog looks like it’s in Taco Hell.

  21. Min

    I love the look on the dog’s face in pic #1. Hilarious!

  22. Bosco

    Some of these are old….

  23. mk

    Looks like she’s pregnant in the pic where she has her humungous feet on that guy. No ass what so ever and you could drive a semi truck through her breast.

  24. manhands!

    that manhands photo is one of the funniest things that I have seen in a while. oh man, laughing so hard. thanks, superficial!! I really needed that… : )

  25. Evan Faine

    I’D DO HER

  26. She has a dog where most women have a cat.

  27. STD

    IT’S A BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!

  28. platypus

    She will retire filthy rich. it will be disgusting to watch her in the coming years as she staples her cheeks to the back of her head, and insists on wearing hot pink velour track suits, explaining to her mandatory two children, Tomato and Paris II, that she is a “cool” mom and this is what “cool moms” wear. Unfortunately Tomato will suffer a horrible fate at the claws of grandparis, who in a brave attempt to salvage her vanity will convince herself that the elixir of life pulses within young Tomato’s veins. It doesn’t. She lives a life alone in the cold confines of the Texas state penitentiary, with only Doris’s broad haunches to provide her warmth and comfort.

  29. theclap

    Did they suck balls at airbrushing in cleavage in 2004? She looks like shes wearing one of those bikini shirts you get at beach shops.

    I mean lets be honest, we’ve all seen them. They’re not that big.

  30. meee

    wow, NO ass at all. weird.

  31. liz4sale

    shes really not so bad to look at. its just her unbelievable ignorance and arrogance that makes ppl hate her. but why the fake eyes and hair is necessary, we’ll never know.

  32. blaloo

    my grandfather has more feminine hands than those :/.

  33. Nana

    Where’s her bellybutton in the picture with the bartender?

  34. :/

    Yup, these are from 2004

  35. Jim Lahey

    WHY would anyone want to photograph and look at this UGLY, ROTTED, WARPED EYED WHORE?

  36. Trix

    Wow. she really has absolutely no ass. ewwwwww

  37. santiago

    this has already use in 2005

  38. reese

    go back to JAIL where you belong you fake little slut who cant pose for pictures.. blah blah blah…

  39. reese

    go back to JAIL where you belong you nasty infested walking STD. Good lord anyone can be airbrushed and you look pathetic,.. blah.. blah … blah is what i think about you

  40. AMO

    I think it’s hilariously sad that she thinks she’s “so hot”.

  41. SuuCh

    Thats the old campaign back circa 2004…i used to work for Guess and thats what i used then

  42. Gargamel

    Love the expression on the dog’s face.

  43. el ces

    Nice. She looks good enough to eat.

    That said, I wish she’s do some shoots in a business setting. Modeling some office business skirts and jackets, etc…

  44. jjf


  45. Disgusting im neer gonna buy guess ever again

  46. Duke Steele

    Poor dog. That face says it all” oh please, oh please, don’t let the herpes jump on me”

  47. Verez


  48. Verez


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