Paris Hilton for Guess. So classy.

April 22nd, 2009 // 105 Comments

Here’s Paris Hilton ad campaign for the Guess Spring/Summer 2009 collection. Because apparently they want to lose a lot of money. Who knows? That said, two observations:

1. If PETA truly cares about animals, why aren’t they armed to the teeth and pulling that Chihuahua out of Paris’ house? I mean, Michael Vick gets jail time yet this chick visibly commits animal abuse in an international ad campaign. Where’s the justice?

2. Are my eyes deceiving me or did they seriously airbrush thighs onto Paris to make her look heavier? I can understand cropping out the tentacles, but it’s pretty much a scientific fact she has the legs of a flamingo. No, really, I tried to stick her in my yard once. Totally killed my lawn.

NOTE: I tossed in some old shots from Guess to round out the pics. Feel free to point that out as much as possible.

Photos: Guess
superficial

  1. Megan

    Oh paris :(

  2. P

    wasn’t these a while back?

  3. yo

    Ummm i think these are old, i remember these pics, from like 2007

  4. yo

    Ummm i think these are old, i remember these pics, from like 2007

  5. yo

    Ummm i think these are old, i remember these pics, from like 2007

  6. yo

    Ummm i think these are old, i remember these pics, from like 2007

  7. yo

    Ummm i think these are old, i remember these pics, from like 2007

  8. Ponz Delarion

    I’d suck a grape out of her ass anyday.

  9. WHODEY

    Ewww look at the picture with her holding the cell phone and look at that hand, ugh GROSS, MAN HANDS

  10. Valerie

    WHY oh WHY would they think that pic with the dog nestled in her crotch is good advertising? It’s fucking weird, to say the least……

  11. antoine bugleboy

    ^ i’m pretty sure that’s just her penis

  12. lamb

    hey Yo, you’re a moron. It says he tossed in some old shots, learn to read you cave monkey!

  13. moonlight

    She has no ass, no tits, non hips, and a wonky eye.
    WHY is this woman considered hot???????

  14. moonlight

    She has no ass, no tits, no hips, and a wonky eye.
    WHY is this woman considered hot???????

  15. Paddy O'Malley

    You gotta hand it to Paris. She’s very good at marketing her image.

  16. KC

    Even the dog can’t stand the smell.

  17. Ananana

    FEE FI FO FORE! I SMELL THE $!&% OF A FILTHY WHORE!

  18. Ananana

    oh, and Superficial Writer(s), you know I love you and want to sexually pleasure you till the end of all times, but these photos are VERY old (from the 2004 Summer campaign).

  19. Darth

    I’m wondering who the father of that lill doggie is.

  20. I’d shake her a martini, drop kick the ugly ass dog into the pool, finger blast her nostrils and then liquify that ass.

  21. Superfish might be on to something here, theres no way her inner thighs looks this juicy…

  22. The thought bubble over that dog’s head should say “Eet esmells like feesh…”

  23. Deacon Jones

    Well, well, well……It looks like Fish actually removed the Malware from this site that completely disabled my computer…….good job Fish. It only took you 2 weeks.

  24. Deacon Jones

    Now try doing something about the 15 second lag time that follows after you hit “Post Your Comment”

    Might cut down on the triple postings….

  25. grobpilot

    That dog better grab onto something tight or it’ll be sucked into that vacuous cavern.

  26. Zanna

    That dog is squinting like it smells rotten eggs.

  27. Zanna

    And how come they never airbrush the wonk?

  28. Rick

    That dog has great empathy for the next wife of Rosie O’Donnell.

  29. ishi-san

    I’m pretty sure # 4 is one of the old ones….

  30. salawhite

    Recently I found a hot club — SeekingTall . c o m — just for sexy tall gals and guys to find their cupid. Come on, tall singles. Don’t miss your love.

  31. salawhite

    Recently I found a hot club — SeekingTall . c o m — just for sexy tall gals and guys to find their cupid. Come on, tall singles. Don’t miss your love.

  32. Zanna!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111

  33. I see the Fish is still a gathering place for the retarded amongst us.

  34. Mr. Jones

    The teeth lining her vagoo are firmly holding the dog in place. You can see the poor creature wincing in pain.

    If you need more details, her vagoo is like the Sarlacc creature in the Return of the Jedi – complete with the tentacles shooting out from time to time. If you listen closely, you can hear the muffled screams of her captives as they are slowly digested within her walls.

  35. Where are the racist comments? I don’t wanna read about this bitch!

  36. carly

    Paris isn’t even pretty anymore she has outgrown her look and is now ugly. What is with Guess, they usually have unique ultra hot models and hot celebrities, not douches like Paris hilton. She doesn’t even have a nice body. she has knoby knees and not muscle definition. Ahhh so disappointing

  37. Andy

    The dog’s there because he thought he saw some kibble…she’s having a particularly bad flareup.

  38. mike

    I’d rather see a Guess ad by Anna Nicole Smith, in her current state.

  39. did somebody ask for racist comments...

    A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says “Show me it’s true what they say about black men”.

    So he stabbed her & stole her purse.

  40. mamamiasweetpeaches

    I gotta hand it to #22. That was funny : (“Eet smells like feesh!”)

    What a terrble picture of the dog! (Pic 1) He’s squinting , for Christs sake!

    She looks pretty good in Pic 1, but then again she’s airbrushed within an inch of her life. so thats like saying “Ariel in THE LITTLE MERMAID looked pretty good”.

    Why is this broad famous again?

  41. Cathy

    A story that sums up men:

    A woman is in a coma. While washing her intimate parts, a nurse notices a slight pulse. She calls her husband, and explains to him:
    ” … so I have a theory that if such slight stimulation can give her a pulse, oral sex just may wake her up completely!”
    “Well ok, I’ll try, if it helps her” says the man.
    The nurses wait for him outside the room. All of a sudden, they hear the woman’s pulse go flat, and rush in the room to see the man buttoning his pants. With a confused look on his face, he says:
    “Um…I got really into it and I think I might have choked her.”

  42. boo

    I wish people would boycott anything this waste of space promotes. That goes for Lindsay, Kim K, Britney and Octomom, too.

  43. STINK

    Guess? An IQ of no higher than 60.

  44. Meow

    Is that a dog or a rat?… Cute chihuahua though.

  45. stpeh

    ok. i know some smart blondes, my sister being one of them. but i feel horrible for blondes who have to have the same hair color as this cunt. im sorry to all you beautiful intelligent blonde girls that are misjudged because of how ridiculously stupid this idiot is…..

  46. Jess

    Is it just me, or is that dog actually cringing?

    But seriously though, cringing right?

  47. Frank N Stein

    Now I’ve heard there are all sorts of things growing in her crotch but a dog has got to be a new one.

  48. Vanessa

    THESE PICS ARE REALLY OLD….

  49. Jen

    Wow, Here hair grows so fast!!!!!!!!!

  50. Tessa

    Hey 35 – SHUT UP, NIGGER!!!

    Are you happy? (and by that, I mean gay, as in, you’re one gay son of a bitch)

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