As a devout Esquire subscriber, I can’t even describe my shock and horror to find out that Paris Hilton has infiltrated my favorite column “What I’ve Learned.” It’s akin to receiving a bitchin’ flatscreen for Christmas then finding out it only shows high-def videos of your parents doing it. Anyway, here are some highlights of the VD Bayou talking about herself:
There are definitely a lot of misconceptions about me out there. “Oh, she doesn’t work. She doesn’t do anything. She just gets money from her family.” That’s not true at all. I was up making phone calls at seven in the morning, and I’ll be working until 1:00 A.M.
I was the oldest granddaughter. Everyone was so excited that I was born, they would always take pictures of me. My grandma would call me Marilyn Monroe or Grace Kelly. Ever since I was little, it’s what I knew I wanted to do–be a blond icon.
Once I’ve worn a dress, I can never wear it again. I give them to charities and they auction them off to help people with breast cancer, multiple sclerosis, and AIDS. Some that are really, really special, I keep in storage for my daughters. They’ll be vintage by then. I think my daughters will love them.
I don’t think it’s fair for a child to come into the world and have to be photographed. They didn’t really choose that life.
The best thing I’ve ever bought with money is my house. I call it my Paris Palace. It’s beautiful. Every room has beautiful crystal chandeliers and amazing moldings from Italy. When people come over they say, “Hey, this looks just like you.”
Because of my last name and the way I look, some people think I’m a spoiled brat. But I’m not like that at all. I’m one of the most down-to-earth people I know out of anyone in Hollywood.
Things may seem to naturally come my way. But I work hard for them, too. I have good karma.
I don’t know if people will be talking about me that way when I’m seventy-five.
You may not be able to be hot when you’re seventy-five in a conventional sense. Like, young people won’t think you’re hot. But your husband will, and so will people your own age.
So, in summary, Paris Hilton actually believes she earned a mansion full of chandeliers with good karma and elbow grease and plans to remain unbelievably vapid until the day she dies. Which means I’ll be making herpes jokes until I’m 80. That fortune teller was right….
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Wow. You can almost hear the wind whistling thru her empty head.
down to earth? how many videos are there of this bitch spouting racist and homophobic remarks? what an idiot.
Yeah, she does look pretty good for being seventy-five.
wow so hot ! i aslo tell you another good place !Somedays ago i saw a website…………www.sugarbabymatch.com………….. here.when i sing up there ,haha .fantastic ! beauty,beauty!manymany beautythere! i had a dating yesterday!wow wow ! it is my faverite! You have any interest to lovers ,you can have a try there!
wow so hot ! i aslo tell you another good place !Somedays ago i saw a website…………www.sugarbabymatch.com………….. here.when i sing up there ,haha .fantastic ! beauty,beauty!manymany beautythere! i had a dating yesterday!wow wow ! it is my faverite! You have any interest to lovers ,you can have a try there!
ok, so did no one get that she wear each of her dresses only ONCE?? WTF??? And these arent $19.95 wal mart dresses. How friggin down to earth are you when you wear your clothes once… must be a freaking tough life…
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We are all very gratefull, BIMBO!!
“THANK GOD I’M A COUNTRY BOY”, folks!!
Don’t you mean until 1PM Paris? And phone calls to who? Talking to your airhead friend while she gets her nails done is not working.
For someone almost 30 she is such an airhead!!
I didn’t realize icons were classified by hair color…among other wisdom she’s imparted. Man, that is one stupid, stupid woman. And as long as you’re still spouting this inane twaddle, then people will still be talking about you like this when you’re 75.
Ha ha. Some asshole thinks Parasite can speak 5 languages, when in reality the dumb cunt can barely speak English.
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is she wearing a dress or overall jumpsuit or what? Honest question.
“The best thing I’ve ever bought with money is my house. I call it my Paris Palace. It’s beautiful. Every room has beautiful crystal chandeliers and amazing moldings from Italy. When people come over they say, “Hey, this looks just like you.”"
So I’m guessing this “house” has one window shade that is always half-down, and the basement is totally infested with critters.
“You may not be able to be hot when you’re seventy-five in a conventional sense. Like, young people won’t think you’re hot.”
Gee, thanks for making me lose my dinner.
#24 – I just laugh out loud uncontrollably at your post – I love it! Walk backwards – I’m dying over her – that is the funniest line ever!!!
#29 Get “adblock plus” you fucking retard.
Now she’s got a pink Bentley for trolling for penis. She earned that too.
Wearing Clothing beautiful and go to Parties not work. I not say you are most bottom to Earth person know – any someone last say that you. What bubble you live in.