got their hands on an amazingly realistic self portrait Paris Hilton drew of herself while at the Lynwood jail. The picture shows her standing at a pay phone inside the jail and she’s even got Larry King Live on in the background. Some people call the Mona Lisa a masterpiece, but that’s only because they’ve never seen this. And look, she even signed it. As if somebody else would actually want to take credit for this. I’d rather take credit for a double homicide than have people think I drew this.
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bubba lubdubski | June 26, 2007 at 10:57 am
frist? yeah right. like this is real.
CHROME | June 26, 2007 at 10:57 am
OMG
bignosejew | June 26, 2007 at 10:57 am
hilton is such a jew!
jokes | June 26, 2007 at 10:58 am
4th shizzle
nevermore | June 26, 2007 at 11:01 am
Oh my god. Is this for real?
Chauncey Gardner | June 26, 2007 at 11:01 am
Speaking of orgasm, I stand by my theory that Paris can’t have them. Either that, or, she’s a closet lesbian. Because, she’s just not convincing as a healthy sex-enjoying heterosexual woman.
BaldAsBritney | June 26, 2007 at 11:02 am
They forgot to mention that she wasn’t allowed a pencil in her cell so she used ground up herpes scabs to render this incredible portrait. Awesome.
GoParis | June 26, 2007 at 11:02 am
I’d pay 100 bucks for it….
needlenoseplyers | June 26, 2007 at 11:03 am
That looks like something a child would draw. No wonder she’s so childish
racy*red | June 26, 2007 at 11:03 am
5th she-bangles.
oh paris, really hun?
thatsmyname | June 26, 2007 at 11:03 am
What does it say in the background? I can make out “Dear Harvey, I just wanted to thank you for your fair and ……. reporting the facts. Thank you, Paris Hilton”
Superevil | June 26, 2007 at 11:03 am
I’m more concerned with whats written underneath the lame ass picture.
Nina | June 26, 2007 at 11:04 am
Notice how the phone looks like a penis pointing down???? Hmmmm????
Snatch | June 26, 2007 at 11:09 am
7 – hahahaha
Snatch | June 26, 2007 at 11:10 am
where are her arms?
heydere | June 26, 2007 at 11:10 am
I know it’s not intentional, but the “double homicide” line feels a little icky in wake of the Benoit thing.
John | June 26, 2007 at 11:11 am
This is sad, so’s whoever drew it’s grasp on distance.
havoc | June 26, 2007 at 11:11 am
Its official.
Paris is 12 years old.
We could have a terrorist attack on the U.S. today. And the media would still lead with this shit……
bungoone | June 26, 2007 at 11:12 am
that’s not realistic! either she’s never looked in the mirror, which we know is not the case, or she’s in complete denial of her wonky eye. dumb bitch.
Kiky | June 26, 2007 at 11:16 am
OMG…can’t believe my eyes…I thought it was a drawing by a 8 years old girl…
Sugar Tits | June 26, 2007 at 11:18 am
13) Thank you. I was thinking the exact same thing.
I’m also assuming that the shit written across her chest and on the knee of her pants is ‘LA County Jail’, which in both she brilliantly forgot the ‘T’.
Brock Landers | June 26, 2007 at 11:20 am
I think I’m gonna….yep, yeah, I just decided it’s definitely time to kill myself.
Bern | June 26, 2007 at 11:22 am
I’m amazed she actually knows how to write words — she must have had some help.
MovieDownloadR.com | June 26, 2007 at 11:22 am
Simply a masterpiece!!!! definitely belongs in the Musee D’Orsay !!!!!
Cherry | June 26, 2007 at 11:25 am
OMG. That kid is realistic. Now we know she wishes she had lips and eyes the size of Texas, which explains why she has been visiting a plastic surgeon before jail time.
gossipmonger | June 26, 2007 at 11:26 am
Go to Dlisted, it has the letter that was written too…
Miss | June 26, 2007 at 11:27 am
Does anyone else notice the letter that was written before the picture? So far all I see is Dear Harvey…then of course you can see the fabulous signature at the bottem.
corey | June 26, 2007 at 11:32 am
I LOVE YOU PARIS!
gossipmonger | June 26, 2007 at 11:35 am
TMA “got their hands on it” because it was written/drawn for/sent to Harvey Levin AT TMZ..
djthecat | June 26, 2007 at 11:36 am
oh, wow, it DOES look like a penis. hmmmm. very freudian. her arms are behind her in handcuffs, btw. and she did put the t in county, you just have to look for it.
hendero67 | June 26, 2007 at 11:41 am
This is totally fake. If it was real, there wopuld be a little trail of jizz out the side of her mouth
juego de casino | June 26, 2007 at 11:44 am
omg. I hate her. I hate her. I hate her.
Why she had to leave the prison? why…….?
Gigi | June 26, 2007 at 11:47 am
I went to TMZ and read the letter. She dotted every single i with a heart. I thought she said she was going to stop “acting” dumb?
If her mother is so big on teaching ettiquette, grammar, social graces etc she should inform her daughter that dotting an i with a heart is something that prevents others from taking you seriously.
theredsnapper | June 26, 2007 at 11:48 am
hahah this site makes me piss myself in laughter sometimes..
sucks for you | June 26, 2007 at 11:50 am
damn, artist she is not.
Coco | June 26, 2007 at 11:55 am
13 – ha ha ha. i guess all the female action in there has left her more horny than usual. Expect porn film part deux any day now…
my comment | June 26, 2007 at 11:57 am
I’m surprised she knows what a pay phone is.
lambman | June 26, 2007 at 12:05 pm
I like that the pay-phone is just floating in the middle of the hallway, it very creative and sureal…and not in anyway idiotic
Dom | June 26, 2007 at 12:07 pm
um I think that someone just photoshopped her signature (XOXO’s and all) from her ‘fan letter’ and put it on the bottom of a dumb drawing.
If she really thought that this was special don’t you think she would have dated it instead of signing it with hugs and kisses?
Then again, it is Paris.
miss oblivious | June 26, 2007 at 12:08 pm
holy crap that phone does totally look like an upside down donger! And as for the picture of herself…she only wishes she was that attractive, ha! Where’s the big ole’ schnozzolla?
KZO | June 26, 2007 at 12:09 pm
What is that letter in the background? You can faintly see a letter that she has written to Harvey Levin.
Guy | June 26, 2007 at 12:10 pm
At least she has attempted some 3D perspective.
Come on you ‘tards, show me your masterpieces since you all seem to be artists.
costamar | June 26, 2007 at 12:18 pm
She writes “LA CUNY JAIL”! What’s that, a Freudian slip or a moment of sincerity? Cunny’s the British moniker for “cunt”. (And that phone is not an inverted dick, it’s an erect one. The only kind she really cares for).
titsqueeze | June 26, 2007 at 12:36 pm
I actually think it is pretty good, but she probably spent an entire week working on it, then the other three weeks learning to braid her hair for when she is released.
15piecesofflare | June 26, 2007 at 12:41 pm
She can actually make a pretty good Perspective drawing!
jrzmommy | June 26, 2007 at 12:52 pm
hmmm…it looks more like Nicky.
MADRID HILTON | June 26, 2007 at 12:54 pm
And look, she even signed it. As if somebody else would actually want to take credit for this???
WELL IF SHE HAD NOT SIGNED IT YOU WOULDN’T PUBLISHED IT, YOU NHIPOCRITES!
Nicole | June 26, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Awww, look! She drew her eye normal! Wishful thinking!
krazihottkelli | June 26, 2007 at 1:57 pm
Pariz:
now don’t forget
no driving
no drugz
no nothing
for 9 long
monthz
enjoy your
life….
probably
lazt about
1 day…..
Andrea | June 26, 2007 at 2:29 pm
Well, I see she not only writes like a child but she also draws like one too! The more I see the more I believe the rumors that she was in Special Ed. Classes before she dropped out of high school. Bill from The Learning Annex should see the picture before he pays her one million dollars to teach a seminar!
In case you haven’t heard Bill Zanker President and Founder of “The Learning Annex” has offered Paris Hilton one million dollars to teach a one hour class on “Building your own Brand.” They are offering Paris even more money than Donald Trump has been paid as their star instructor! The story is at TMZ.com and is titled “Professor Paris.” You can also find a similar article at Thesuperficial.com. I think that this is totally ridiculous considering the fact that Paris is not only a high school dropout but also writes like a first grader! I think Bill Zanker is a complete idiot! You know the old saying “A Fool and his money will soon part!” I would like to know what Paris is qualified to teach? What has she accomplished on her own? Bill refers to Paris as a Brilliant Entrepeneur! What is so brilliant about Paris? Her lack of education? Her handwriting?Her amateur porn video? Lets not forget the fact that she was totally irresponsible and ended up in jail for violating her probation on more than one occasion! I think that everyone should email this Bill Zanker and tell him what we think of Paris Hilton teaching a class for a million dollars! Maybe if he recieves enough emails it will be like her Million Dollar interview with NBC! CANCELED! Please everyone send your emails to williamz@learningannex.com ASAP! Lets stop Paris from making a million dollars as a teacher when she herself does not have an education!