Paris Hilton & Doug Reinhardt’s shenanigans get them kicked off boat

May 26th, 2009 // 47 Comments

Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt’s rampant public fucking at Cannes finally got them in trouble. The two managed to score an invite on Elton John’s close friend David Furnish’s boat, but things went south when they tried to get freaky in the restroom, according to The Mirror:

“As soon as Paris arrived she had her tongue down Doug’s throat. Everyone kept saying how inappropriate they were being but Paris didn’t care who was looking.
“They got so worked up she dragged Doug below deck so they could have some private time. But as they were closing the cubicle door so they could tear into each other, they were caught out. David spotted them and the captain was furious. He kicked them off for unsociable behaviour.
“Everyone congratulated the captain.”

While I applaud the captain for acting in the best interest of his vessel, I would’ve sank the ship and set fire to the harbor. Then again, I come from a proud naval tradition. (Read: Made it to second with a mermaid.)

Photos: Splash News, WENN
superficial

  1. Que

    Que unfortunate.

  2. Deva

    Too bad her antics don’t get her diseased cooch kicked off the planet.

    First?

  3. Hispanic person in the white house will make burritos for Obama

    Good ‘ol Big Bird.

  4. Anonymous

    Why does this ugly bitch always stand like her back is broken?? She is a disgusting slut who has NO redeeming qualities. Doug Reinhardt…cute, but now irreparably tainted.

  5. havoc

    What pissed the captain off is the when the other guests asked when this became a tuna boat….

    Rankness….

    .

  6. Roque

    And still she hits the spotlight.
    If people stopped writing about her and she’d just dissolve…

  7. French Revolution

    Jack Pot!

    You hit the lottery big time to get kicked out of France and off of Elton Johns boat, all in the same day.

    Both to be commended.
    Congratulations, job well done.

  8. Is it really any surprise, to anyone?

  9. Dread not

    Gettin’ freaky with Paris in a shitter, aside from the obvious symbolism of the act, is the equivalent of doin’ a trés.

  10. I wonder if this dude feels like the 76th guy who watched as Cora was getting carted away…

  11. sam

    Does anyone remember when Paris said she wasn’t really a sexual person? Or how after she got out of jail she carried around a bible and said she was going to do great feats of charity?

    I don’t think she is fucking this dude because she wants to. She just does it for the same reason she does ANYTHING — attention.

    Dirty, skanky, vapid fame whore. Yuck, yuck, puke, vomit, yuck.

  12. Lucy

    hopefully this will blacklist her ass!!

  13. I WOULD LOVE TO GET ME SOME THAT INAPPROPRIATENESS. DAMN SHE’S FINE. THE SKANKINESS ONLY INTENSIFIES WHAT A HOT PIECE OF ASS PARIS IS. THE FIRST THING I WOULD DO IS SHOVE MY TONGUE UP HER HOT STINKY ASSHOLE.AND I’LL BET SHE’D SQUEAL LIKE A LITTLE PIGLET NEXT WHEN I’D FUCK THAT DIRT HOLE WITH THE LUST OF A THOUSAND SAILORS ON LEAVE AFTER A YEAR AT SEA!!! I’D GET HER TO DO SPEED AND FUCK HER BLOODY FOR 48 HOURS STRAIGHT ENDING WITH A JIZZ LOAD THAT WOULD MAKE NOAH’S FLOOD LOOK LIKE THE FUCKIN’ SAHARA DESERT!

  14. Girl

    David Furnish is Elton John’s husband, not close friend.

  15. Kelsey

    Someone please kick them out of life.

  16. Deva

    #13, clap, clap, clap, clap,.clap

  17. ChunkyMonkey

    I’d pay good money to punch her one time in the face.

    Break that fucking bird-beak of hers, send the wonky eye into orbit.

  18. M

    Nice of Douggie to dress up for the occasion.

  19. mikeock

    Nail her to a stake and put her out in a farmer’s field.

    OK, I had to say that. I’d fuck her. I bet that spoiled little twat is about as tight as they get, in spite of being a port for every ship on both coasts.

  20. Pat C.

    I wonder why those two even bother leaving their hotel room?
    Oh yeah, no one could see them, that’s why.
    They should just make an official sex tape.

  21. @ 20: so true.
    I applaud this captain. He is concerned for all humanity.

  22. Steve

    “Close friend”? Furnish is Elton John’s *husband*, you dong.

  23. zorgon: ruler of lizards

    Is she part elf? She looks like a freaking nymph from a cartoon or video game. Also, don’t they usually test for scoliosis in grade school? How the hell didn’t they notice that her posture resembles that of a cripple?

  24. mill biller

    she looks so thin here, holy shit! she looks like she’s losing more and more weight with every new pic that pops up. she actually looked good in repo the genetic opera, which she was actually very good in. that’s the only decent thing she’s every done in life, otherwise she’s a waste

  25. Joshua Lin

    Apparently she’s denying that it happened on her blog:

    “I would never do that,” says the heiress. “It’s so lame that people will just create these crazy stories. I can’t believe the stories people will make up, so gross! I’m so sick of all these false rumors. It’s not fair that writers can get away it. They have no credibility.”

    http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=6459682 I found out from Yahoo News.

    Wonderful isn’t it?

  26. blackout

    I’m gonna pistol whip the next person who says “shenanigans”

  27. Deva

    You know what has no credibility? Herpes. Because if it was credible then it would claim her and we wouldn’t have to be bothered by this one-step-away-from-white-trash again. And I personally have to wonder, with her STD’s being about as public as it can be, dudes still want to bang her. I think I’d rather drink draino and take my chances.

  28. Those two are so nasty. Smearing their herpes all over Cannes…Ewwww.

  29. Why is she still wearing a damn headband?

  30. Pilatunes

    He should have thrown ‘er (the boat) in high gear and got as far from shore as possible THEN tossed them overboard. Seriously, what a vacant, pointless skank.

  31. Mister Bored

    Enjoy that herpes.

  32. David and Elton got married. And good for someone for giving that chick the boot. ‘Bout time.

  33. Lindsay

    She’s such a douche. Is the headband because she’s retarded? I’ll pay any paparrazi $20 each time they just walk up to her and kick her in the crotch. Just do it. You could work a deal out with the other paparrazis to take a picture while your doing it. They’ll get paid a lot for the pick, I give you $20 and then you can switch for next time and you get paid for the next picture and they get my $20 and so on and so on. I have lots of money and it would be worth every sent to see that walking STD bent over in pain all the time. Maybe then that stupid head band would fall off her empty head. Her parents should be shot for bringing such a useless piece of garbage into this world and teaching her such great (not) values. Did I mention she’s a douche?

  34. lola

    She should slow down on the PDA, but it is nice to see her enjoying herself after being taken advantage of as a child.

  35. Narcissist

    If they’d only tossed them over the railing…would have been Perfect.

  36. what?

    This walking STD’s days in the spotlight are numbered, thank God! Count with me cunt…15 minutes, 14, 13, 12…

  37. I hope they hosed out the cubicle with industrial strength disinfectant.

  38. If I had paid all that money for a boat, I wouldn’t want skank ass Paris spreading her herps all over it, that’s just bad business…

  39. Paris’ Shenanigans are sad and often end in tragedy, more like EVIL shenanigans

  40. Juice

    Jesus christ, can’t this vapid whore go one second without wanting attention to validate herself.

  41. Samuel

    As a side note: didn’t the style “t-shirt over a long sleeve” die in the 90′s?

  42. Louise

    This person has no original idea of her own. She copied Nicole Richie – she used to wear head bands and looked a damn sight better than this one – did her mother hang her up by the ears with pegs on a washing line when she was small? Then on the other hand, she needs to wear her headband, otherwise she wouldn’t be able to function. I suppose if she changes her mind, she sticks those long fingers up her nose and do it manually. She is an insult to the female human race!!

  43. princess…I came across an online community for individual seeking interracial love, blackwhitemeet.com. All singles there are seeking interracial relationships. Interracial is not a problem there, but a great merit to cherish!

  44. blargh

    Why can’t she die already? Seriously. Overdose, car accident, something, ANYTHING!! Dust to dust, NOW!

  45. Darth

    Always respect the captain’s ship.These kind of ships are prestige objects.

  46. Galtacticus

    If i was the captain i would have keel hauled them.Just for the fun!

  47. el ces

    IF this actually happened…Captain Cockblock needs to be demoted.
    Then slapped.

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