Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt’s rampant public fucking at Cannes finally got them in trouble. The two managed to score an invite on Elton John’s close friend David Furnish’s boat, but things went south when they tried to get freaky in the restroom, according to The Mirror:
“As soon as Paris arrived she had her tongue down Doug’s throat. Everyone kept saying how inappropriate they were being but Paris didn’t care who was looking.
“They got so worked up she dragged Doug below deck so they could have some private time. But as they were closing the cubicle door so they could tear into each other, they were caught out. David spotted them and the captain was furious. He kicked them off for unsociable behaviour.
“Everyone congratulated the captain.”
While I applaud the captain for acting in the best interest of his vessel, I would’ve sank the ship and set fire to the harbor. Then again, I come from a proud naval tradition. (Read: Made it to second with a mermaid.)