Paris Hilton & Doug Reinhardt capture spirit of Cannes, by getting sh-tfaced

May 18th, 2009 // 36 Comments

Since nothing goes together like fine cinema and Paris Hilton, the heiress spent Sunday night drunkenly making out with Doug Reinhardt while attending Cannes. That couldn’t have ended well.

FILM GUY #1: Finally, after all our hard work, we have an actual, completed film that tomorrow morning we’ll be showing at Cannes. Cannes, baby!
FILM GUY #2: We made it, old friend. Cheers!
FILM GUY #1: My life’s dream has been to see my very own film on the big screen, and tomorr- *TSSSS* AHHH! MY EYES! MY EYES! WHAT’S HAPPENING?
FILM GUY #2: Paris Hilton is spread eagle doing shots on a table! Get down!
FILM GUY #1: I can’t see! I’m blind! I’m blind! NOOOOOOO!

Film Guy #1 never regained his sight. While in the hospital, Film Guy #2 revealed he was really a gay astronaut who sold babies on the black market to finance their film. Because this is a story about Cannes and those movies always have really fucked up, depressing endings.


Photos: Fame

  1. Delgo

    I love ya Fish, but that was corny.

  2. Randal

    These are great shots of Paris enjoying love on the dance floor with her man and that energy pulls others around them to share smiles and laughs. Paris, keep spreading your warmth and sharing your heart with us. Your fans thanks you!


  3. Vag

    you’re a fucking douche!

  4. Vag

    you’re a fucking douche!

  5. billabong021


    wtf are you a fan of? Paris hasn’t done ANYTHING to be a fan of apart from spread STDs and use up valuable air.

  6. Dude, it’s like you’re kissing every cock that ever slid past her lips… gross…

  7. Superbiggerevil

    There’s a strong probability that Randall has INHALED every cock that’s been slapped across his chin.

  8. Assassin

    For the good of the race we must eliminate Randal.

  9. If these two actually procreated, I would consider the human gene pool officially diluted beyond the point of no return.

  10. I love how proud this guy is to be dating this mess of a human. They are just as bad as Heidi and Spencer … I can’t even imagine the drug resistant STDs that are brewing in their bodies

  11. Melissa

    Dude’s got a glass of chardonnay. Or he could really be gaying it up with Pinot Grigio. He loves the cock.

  12. Melissa

    Funny… I didn’t even read the other comments, yet there’s a common factor: Paris and cock. You just can’t pry apart destiny…

  13. But why are they in Cannes? Do they have anything important to do there? Oh yeah, I forgot, they are “public figures.”

  14. Krysten

    In the first pic Doug looks exactly like Mark Wahlberg

  15. Mr. Jones


    That is probably the only thing (besides the cash) that is keeping this guy in the relationship. He has to fantasize about something.

  16. Ananana

    oh, and i seriously love the ÉROIX cap guy behind her xD

  17. Ananana

    her dress is pretty. she’s a whore.

  18. #17 – Good point… and EEEWWWWW…


  19. addled

    stop posting about these losers!

  20. Carolyn

    In pix #5 looks like she’s stomping a purse with her giant, too large for her feet shoes. What the hell is a Doug Reinhardt?

  21. Emily

    I’m sorry, but is that a HAIR ELASTIC on Doug’s wrist?

  22. larrythecableguy

    This bitch is actually starting to make me physically sick to my stomach, Is there nothing anyone can do?

  23. Galtacticus

    She acts like Tinker Bell is getting for the first time a kiss from Peter Pan!

  24. Rhialto

    According to her mouthshots i think Peter Pan just had some delicious onions with garlic before.

  25. Darth

    Light wining and dining.The dessert might be a bit heavy though.

  26. vito

    Hey Vag–

    How many posts is it going to take for you to get it through your head that you only have to click the “Post Your Comment” button once?

    And you call Randal a fucking douche?

    That being said: Randal, get back on your meds before you spontaneously combust!

  27. cookie

    I am sexy, looking for some guy online for some fun. I created a profile on
    where I write blogs, discuss with others in forum and upload my own video which I made. It is very fun there.

  28. Parisites parasite is looking needy again.

  29. she wears dress pretty

    click for more

  30. Johnny Bravo

    EWWWWW GROSS !! I was eatin lunch and this what I had to see ????

  31. Johnny Bravo

    There goes my appetite……There it is again !!!

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  33. It is just as bad as Heidi and Spencer, I can not imagine until the drug resistance of sexually transmitted diseases brewing in their bodies

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