Paris Hilton doesn’t have time for heartache, or decorum

November 24th, 2008 // 59 Comments

Paris Hilton isn’t taking her split with Benji Madden late last week sitting down. In fact, she celebrated the break-up by prancing around dressed as some kind of slutty meter maid for the opening of the Pussycat Dolls Lounge at the Viper Room in L.A. on Sunday night. Good for you, Paris; after being a relationship that couldn’t be captured in its entirety on a sex tape for once in your life, your reputation was in serious danger. People might have started thinking that you weren’t a walking magnet for every male within a two-mile radius. And with America’s current financial crisis, there’s no telling how that might effect the Dow Jones. Way to serve your country, Paris. You’re practically George Washington. With nicer curves.

Photos: WENN
superficial

  1. havoc

    Herpes Chirpies…..

    .

  2. Brock Landers

    This section is sponsored by the Oxygen network? Jesus, this place is gayer than Perez Hilton’s dildo now.

    Superfish, you’ve officially jumped the proverbial shark.

  3. dietirish

    other than the WTF that comes with any paris photo. WTF is up with her legs they look like skeletor from Heman. And lets be honest the fact that yes she may have spent more money today then I could make in 1000 years but everyone else out there can still feel good at night thinking at least Im not that F***ing dumb. so thanks paris, brit, lins, and all you other F-tards out there. you make me feel better about myself.

  4. OJ's MomMom

    Who the hell is the Pocahontas in plaid chick? I’d fuck her if she promised to burn that shiteous outfit.

  5. Jodi.

    I haven’t commented for a while because of an operation designed to suppress my wit went horribly awry (SUPERWIT), but “P.S.: Have a thing for bad girls? Yeah, of course you do–they’re truly God’s gift. Check out the new season of Bad Girls Club, starting December 2 at 10 p.m./9 p.m. central”?????

    I know times are hard Superfish, but you just managed to suck your own dick after swallowing one of your own balls.

    ^Jodi.

  6. Mr. Krinkle

    WTF Superficial?! First you have contests for Botox injection, now you have sponsored storied by Oxygen?! I agree with Brock Landers, you have jumped the shark.

  7. ChuckleHead

    S to the L to the U to the T.

  8. B

    Wow. You’ve hit a new low, fish. Shilling for sponsors now? What, the half dozen ads that load on the sides and top of the page aren’t enough, or the ones between stories, now we need them sponsoring an actual story?

    I mean really, talk about a shameless plug. Who needs integrity anyway?

  9. sarah

    is that bad girls thing some horrible joke? if not, im going to seriously stop reading this website.

  10. chupacabra

    she is *utterly*, the least sexy person on this continent.

    Amy Winehouse has the isle of Great Britain covered.

  11. B

    Oh, and I do agree that the chick in plaid is hot…but, she’s clearly friends with Slutty McUseless, so I’m assuming she’s absorbed the herpes by osmosis or something. Still, I could stand to see a sex tape of that.

  12. Yeah pretty soon, no more cursing, or vulgarity….watch!

  13. LH

    exact same reaction as #6

  14. Superfish’s plan is to sell this site to disney!!!

  15. Richard McBeef

    Sometimes, when the lighting is just right, i think i would. you know, if you subtract the herpes factor. Most of the time though, meh. plus, we have all seen the videos, she is a terrible lay. she just lays there, doesn’t swallow or take it in the face. The deal breaker though is she won’t even sit on a magnum champagne bottle.

    Fish – the bad girls club advertisement is weak and lame. I understand that you need to get paid. Are the pop-ups and neverending ads not keeping the rent paid in these tough economic times?

  16. Richard McBeef

    How long before the superfish writer ends his post with a “PS – I saw her profile on millionaireherpesmingle. com, wonder what she is doing there?”

    When that happens I will kill you all.

  17. I agree with the above posters… change the name to Superfelch.

  18. glace neuf

    i’d hit it, burn my penis off just in case and then get severely disappointed in this site for the P.S. of this post.

  19. Jackson'shole

    So this site has officially “jumped the shark”?
    And Paris, please die while choking on semen.

  20. HA

    Wah! Wah! Mommy, there’s ad on the Internet! Wah Wah!

    Goddamn you trolls are the biggest bunch of whiner pussies around. Fish, keep up the ads and maybe the trolls will finally leave.

  21. a.anderson

    Keep the ads on the sidelines Fish! Geez!

  22. It's Me Fuckers!!

    ROFL @ #16

    Come on guys, the PS on here as an ad you KNEW what kind of shit you’d have to take from us fans by posting shit like that.

  23. Carson

    Did anyone else notice who the advertising was for above this article…it was for the Hilton hotels…crazy ironic right???

  24. Buyers Remorse 09'

    They make pills for that, no big deal, really….

  25. Ted from LA

    Fish,
    You should try selling WWF tickets for McMahon on this site… and have Tony Robbins do infomercials between each thread… and have Sally Struthers do commercials to feed starving children in Africa for just $1.00 a day.

  26. Mr. Krinkle

    Looks like you, HA, are the only one who doesn’t care about the integrity of this site. I like it the way it was before, sure there are ads along the side, but nothing overtly shilling for the Oxygen channel.

    Yeah, keep up the ads, perhaps an nice “Summer’s Eve Douche of the week” (inevitably always be Spencer Pratt) sponsership will make HA feel much more comfortable here.

  27. Plixtle

    O…..K…..

    I have to admit, when Heidie & Spencer became the “couple of choice” for The Superficial (it took that *way* too long to fade and he’s STILL posting about the pointless sacks), I felt the site had sort of hit a depressing level of decline. Now they’re offering “botox” contests and the writer is pitching for the freaking Oxygen network as part of the blurbs. Since this site is apparently now designed for bon-bon eating housewives looking for their US Weekly shit fix, it’s time to move on. Good times were had, but the this place now smacks of “lose”.

  28. ummm...yeah

    OMG! You guys are on the money today!
    Fuck you Fish …you fuckin retard! I can’t believe what I just read!
    First botox…now this fuckin crap!
    You need to be kicked in the fuckin balls …if you had any left ..you fuckin loser!
    Get it together,fucktard!

  29. Um! a skinny penguin maybe?

  30. Plixtle

    Well well… lol… looking through the comments it seems like Fish already has some housewives lined up waiting to be spoon fed more embedded pitching!

    Get to it, girls, those bon-bons won’t eat themselves!

  31. Why is Paris hanging out with 15 year olds?

  32. ishi-san

    @ 23 : YES! ‘the Hilton Family’ even. I thought it was funny too

  33. jennyjenjen

    @16 brilliant..

  34. ninesling

    I can’t believe you totally sold out. Congrats on becoming a tool.

  35. the girl to the right of paris is so much more beautiful…take pictures of her! haha

  36. the girl to the right of paris is so much more beautiful…take pictures of her! haha

  37. Amy

    so gay for selling out, I just hope it dosn’t spread to the geekologie writer… I can certainly live without the superficial.

  38. Vince Lombardi

    Okay, I have to admit that, dressed in latex, Paris looks sodomy-worthy.

  39. chadisrad

    that bitch to the right is that internet chick hanah beth or something like that. I wish i knew that because i had a little sister or something but i don’t. She is pretty worthless as well so its prob a good thing that they hang out. I can just imagine how cool the conversations must be when they talk about the important things in life………like the new blackberry.

  40. Tulsa

    You guys really are a bunch of Dolts. Without advertising including banners and sponsorships there would be no Superficial. I’m pretty sure none of you ever click on the banners anyways. So go back to your pathetic Jerry Springer watching lives and keep your stupid little comments to yourselves. Unless they are clever.

  41. Stanky

    Hey fish, nice job
    —————————————————————————————————-
    Sponsored ad:
    Don’t forget to set your clock for Bad Girls Club on the Oxygen Network. Because all boys want a bad girl! Starting December 2 at 10PM.
    —————————————————————————————————-
    selling out!

    Dumbass.

  42. Gary

    Nobody has mentioned how HOT Paris Hilton looks dressed as an S&M Cop. She could handcuff me any day and kick me in the balls until my eyes bled red.

  43. marme

    HAHAHA she looks like shes in some high class porno. wheres the pizza guy?

  44. Plixtle

    Yeah Tulsa you really hit the money there – there’s no difference between a clickable banner and a ham-handed “subtle” ad-spammer style ‘Be sure to check out…” plug in the middle fo the article – why, they’ve done that all along, right?

    Oh, wait… no, they haven’t, it’s the same toolish BS tactic employed by “Have you seen this site…?” forum spammers.

    So go stew in your own spam-lovin’ cauldron of mongoloid ignorance and get back to us when you come to understand the irony of trying to insult “Jerry Springer Loving” posters on who are posting on the SAME FORUM YOU ARE YOU SADSACK PILE OF BACKWARD TOESOCKERY.

  45. pinto

    oh and ok, I am out of here…first it was all the Heidi and Spencer press-rele…I mean posts, then it was all the annoying talking ads in the sidebar, then it was the ads that expanded over the whole page, now it’s posts sponsored by botox and the Vagina network.

    there are so many other celebrity dish sites with exactly the same content and photos of boobs, and no desperate, trying-too-hard-to-be-funny commentary smothered by ads competing with the content

    fuck this place……….

    although (most of) the commenters here are funny as hell, I’ll miss reading that

  46. slick rick

    Slick Rick sez:

    Congrats. This site has been removed from my bookmarks.

    Hope it was fucking worth it, Ass-Clown Media.

  47. slick rick

    Slick Rixk sez:

    @20

    1. I am a loyal reader
    2. I have recommended this site to lots of pals for it’s good writing
    3. You probably work for the Oxygen network (isn’t that just another name for “Lifetime” or “Hallmark” channel?)

    @ Fish – people probably would have been cool with the pink box and banner, but the plug in your post? Fucktarded, dude.

    NOW to delete that bookmark…

  48. Hey chadisrad and OJ’s MomMom!

    the girl in the plaid is Hanna Beth Merjos.
    she is a model and a clothing designer.
    and shes awesome.

    you both are assholes….

    :)

    learn something about that person before you talk shit about them.
    mother fuckers.

    here………..get a brain:

    http://www.hannabeth.buzznet.com/user

  49. Hey chadisrad and OJ’s MomMom!

    the girl in the plaid is Hanna Beth Merjos.
    she is a model and a clothing designer.
    and shes awesome.

    you both are assholes….

    :)

    learn something about that person before you talk shit about them.
    mother fuckers.

    here………..get a brain:

    http://www.hannabeth.buzznet.com/user

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