Paris Hilton attempted to be an exotic dancer at Club Marquee in New York early this morning. It’s kind of sad to watch Paris attempt to press her breasts together. It’s like watching an ant try to move a dump truck. It ain’t happening. At least for her anyway. The ant has a good shot, and not just because I gave him steroids last night because I was bored. Yeah, my Xbox broke so I decided to play God. I also replaced my feet with skis so I’m totally going to kick ass this winter. Even though I, uh, live in the desert. Hmm, maybe I should’ve thought this through a little more. I think I need a doctor. Now where did I park my dog-car…
Photos: INFdaily.com
big | November 14, 2007 at 1:50 pm
Very hot
big | November 14, 2007 at 1:51 pm
for a skank
p911gt10c | November 14, 2007 at 1:53 pm
I think you just offended skanks everywhere Big
Ted from LA | November 14, 2007 at 1:55 pm
This is NOT in a club. It’s in a subway. That is why all the odd looks…
Tatiana | November 14, 2007 at 1:55 pm
And she still looks pregnanty, doesn’t she? o_o
big | November 14, 2007 at 1:55 pm
#3
Thats really funny. I laughed out loud.
Sam Hain | November 14, 2007 at 1:56 pm
BLECH!
23apples | November 14, 2007 at 1:57 pm
How sexy is Brandon Davis in picture #6?
sillypanda! | November 14, 2007 at 1:57 pm
lol. i hate it when she dances; its hard to watch.
Crotch Kicker | November 14, 2007 at 1:57 pm
I’m seriously starting to worry that this bitch might be pregnant. Do the mother and child still die do to complications? It’s our only hope. I’m not ready to die yet.
mkell | November 14, 2007 at 2:09 pm
Didn’t I read somewhere that this skankoid was trying to improve her image?
Shallow Scowling Val | November 14, 2007 at 2:09 pm
Wow, her self-centeredness is astounding. There is a certain (albeit small) amount of talent involved in pole-dancing, and some of it is actual dance, which, sadly, this bit of white fluff cannot do.
NEXT!
veggi | November 14, 2007 at 2:11 pm
come on ya’ll! She’s just trying to help the drunk elephants..
RENEE Z... | November 14, 2007 at 2:13 pm
Eeew. What a retarded moron. I just find her to be so asexual, its not even funny.
big teeth | November 14, 2007 at 2:15 pm
..but the herpes is definitely included.
Andy | November 14, 2007 at 2:15 pm
She looks so sexy! Paris is easily the hottest girl alive!!!
djthecat | November 14, 2007 at 2:15 pm
WTF is she wearing?
veggi | November 14, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Andy, are you surrounded by dead hookers?
Andy | November 14, 2007 at 2:18 pm
No. But I’m not blinded by bitterness over my tiny life.
veggi | November 14, 2007 at 2:19 pm
but clearly blind….
toolboy | November 14, 2007 at 2:21 pm
Somewhere in the back of the club is a busboy holding a short straw waiting to clean that stripper pole with chlorox.
Andy | November 14, 2007 at 2:22 pm
No. My eyes are open and I can see perfectly well. I think it’s because I don’t spend all day every day on the internet spewing hate at successful people.
This Site Sucks ass anymore | November 14, 2007 at 2:22 pm
This site has really been sucking ass lately.
Where’s all the celebrity dirt and nipple slips, the Britney nasty cunt getting shoved in our faces.
Maybe I’m just too jaded, but Wonky Hilton grinding on a stripper pole and Uncle Jessie sleeping on a plane? That just sucks ass.
Jimbo | November 14, 2007 at 2:25 pm
What’s wrong with sucking ass? Don’t insult my lifestyle.
wendy | November 14, 2007 at 2:28 pm
#3, still laughing, great comment.
PS…Isn’t Geoff the contraction for “Jerk Off”?
This Site Sucks ass anymore | November 14, 2007 at 2:28 pm
Jimbo (or troll-Jimbo, whatever),
There’s nothing wrong with your lifestyle, I just don’t want to see it on this site.
I want to see something more, I don’t know
.
.
.
superficial than ass-sucking.
Ted from LA | November 14, 2007 at 2:28 pm
I’d take her panties and put them on.
concerned for andy | November 14, 2007 at 2:30 pm
oh who am i kidding? I don’t give a flying fig about andy. Just disagree.
Pete | November 14, 2007 at 2:34 pm
I see “wendy” logged in with her kneepads on.
Italian Stallion | November 14, 2007 at 2:36 pm
The strippers won’t even use windex to clean that pole. They will just have it removed from the club. They’ll probably try to sell it on E-bay but I don’t think you can sell anthrax on the internet………….
Cynthia | November 14, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Paris is naturally beautiful. Except for ruining that eye, she hasn’t had any plastic surgery, even though most girls in the spotlight who are her size would get implants. I admire her for that. Really, there’s no cause for all the harsh criticism.
andy | November 14, 2007 at 2:37 pm
my diseased pussy is throbbing with gumball sized acne. Paris is my hero.
signed,
andy’s dextrous labia
Dawn | November 14, 2007 at 2:37 pm
I think a part of me wants to make a lamp shade out of her vagina skin.
dude | November 14, 2007 at 2:39 pm
laughing out loud at #30
urban dictionary | November 14, 2007 at 2:40 pm
wonky eye explained:
forceful ejaculatory shot from the wrong guy
hey cynthia | November 14, 2007 at 2:41 pm
the only reason she hasn’t had implants is because she thinks they use actual plants
Pete | November 14, 2007 at 2:42 pm
ha! successful people and paris in one sentence. brilliant! or completely misguided. poor thing. Andy, I’m more successful in pimple popping than paris is at anything.
annika | November 14, 2007 at 2:45 pm
she still looks preggers!
H.A.L.9000 | November 14, 2007 at 2:49 pm
It looks like she thinks “pole dancing” means that the pole is her dance partner, and so she’s letting him lead.
will | November 14, 2007 at 2:50 pm
Andy, she’s not successful. She was born into a rich family. There’s a difference.
Mindy M. | November 14, 2007 at 2:52 pm
I’m glad to see some balance (Andy & Cynthia), finally! You guys are such bullies, always ganging up and looking for help in your battles. Paris has been misjudged and mistreated her whole life, and yet she’s fabulously successful – ON HER OWN (Forbes has her at 6.5 million a year in her own earnings). And she’s fabulous looking. I know what you’ll say – she’s ugly and you’d never want to make make money the way she does. As if you have a choice.
gotmilk? | November 14, 2007 at 2:54 pm
all those people and no one even threw a drink at her? jesus christ, new yorkers are a bunch of pussies!
joe | November 14, 2007 at 2:54 pm
The next person that touches that pole is going to get herpes.
glyniss | November 14, 2007 at 2:55 pm
okay…one min she’s rumored pregnant..the other min she’s pole dancing in the club.she is really hungrying for attention.
Shallo Val | November 14, 2007 at 2:56 pm
Andy, Cindy and Mindy – Coincidence, maybe not. Go play some tetherball and make sure it hits y’all on the face.
Get off the channel.
hausfrau | November 14, 2007 at 2:56 pm
Glad to see that her jail time helped her become the person she really wants to be. Giving back and all that….
i love paris hilton | November 14, 2007 at 2:57 pm
always by your side paris. no matter u r pregnant or no, in jail or no, making ur own sex video or no, has herpes or no! i’ll still love u very much!
Shallo Val | November 14, 2007 at 2:58 pm
42 – as a New Yorker my first insinct was to tell you off, but, sadly, you’re right.
Guaranteed most of those people in the club are not natives.
veggi | November 14, 2007 at 2:59 pm
ha! gotmilk! goodun!
someone told her that the penguins are getting drunk at the north pole.. she’s just trying to help..
Vince Lombardi | November 14, 2007 at 3:00 pm
I’m so glad to see Saint Paris has changed her wickedness after her time in jail. The old Paris Hilton would go to clubs late at night, dressed in something shitty, with a drunken look on her face and dance about a stripper pole…. uhhh, never mind.