Paris Hilton denies drunken fight with Doug

Captain Birdfoot of the S.S. Barnacled Clam is denying she was involved in a fight with Doug Reinhardt that ended in the cops showing up at her house, according to TMZ:

“Doug and I were in bed, sound asleep, when Doug’s houseguests from hell got into an argument. We had nothing to do with it. Doug told the LAPD that his guests’ fight was over and that we had nothing to do with it.”
Ok, sounds credible, except for the neighbor who says he eyeballed Paris in her driveway screaming at BF Doug Reinhardt, and then watched as the two engaged in a mutual shoving match. And then there’s the LAPD, who tells us after arriving they actually made Paris get out of bed so they could check for injuries.

If Paris is afraid to admit she’s in an abusive relationship because she’ll be encouraged to break up with Doug, she really shouldn’t be. In fact, I’d like to pay for the wedding. Let’s make this thing permanent, you crazy lovebirds!