Paris Hilton defends the Jonas Brothers

September 8th, 2008 // 42 Comments

I spoke too soon. Paris Hilton (Yes, the Gaping Canyon of Herp herself) came to the rescue of the chaste Jonas Brothers after they were ridiculed by VMA host Russell Brand, US Magazine reports:

“I don’t pick on them,” Hilton told Usmagazine.com after Brand’s remarks. “That’s something cool for a kid to keep, so don’t pick on them for that.”
“I think that they’re all really good kids and that they’re definitely our next generation of kids and they’re all really good so I think that’s awesome,” Hilton added.

You know what’s a good thing to do when Paris Hilton embraces your cause? Drown yourself in the tub. Which is convenient considering these kids still bathe together. Though I hear one more fight over Rubber Ducky Moses and it’s separate bath times for three little Jonas boys. Aw, mom…

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Comments (42)

  1. Melissa | September 8, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    She’s fucking disgusting. End. Of. Story.

    Reply
  2. bologna | September 8, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    first, muthafucka!

    Reply
  3. tickled | September 8, 2008 at 2:50 pm

    “They’re definitely our next generation of kids” ????? Profound, Paris, profound..

    Reply
  4. Republicans | September 8, 2008 at 2:52 pm

    Having previously said that Paris Hilton represented all that was evil and degenerate about American celebrity culture, we now support her 100%.

    What do you mean, “flip-flop”? It’s pronounced “change”, Republican-style.

    Join our revolution in November as we finally get rid of the people who have been running liberal Washington for the last decade (us)!

    That’s right, we’re throwing ourselves out. We’re fed up with ourselves and we’re not going to take it from ourselves anymore!

    Reply
  5. FRIST!!! | September 8, 2008 at 2:54 pm

    Wow!!! She looks really good there!!!

    Reply
  6. ishi-san | September 8, 2008 at 3:01 pm

    they’re definitely our next generation of kids and they’re all really good ….. so I think that’s awesome ???????!!!!!!!???????? Where is the logic in that sentence???

    I think she was pretty high when she said that!

    Reply
  7. John McCain | September 8, 2008 at 3:03 pm

    Who is this Russell Brand? What did he say? Was he making fun of our pure ideal boys? That’s it, I’m declaring war! Send the bombers in! Where? Everywhere! Fuck it, let’s just bomb everybody! Don’t you question me – I’ve suffered A LOT MORE THAN YOU for this country. I’ve earned the right to start a hundred wars. And I don’t want to hear any complaining from my beloved nation of whiners.

    Reply
  8. Zoid Elpertclam | September 8, 2008 at 3:03 pm

    Gives the phrase “No way, Ho say?” a brand new meaning.

    I love Paris!

    Reply
  9. Angry Beaver | September 8, 2008 at 3:05 pm

    Hey, Paris is a virgin too…I’m sure there is at least one hole on her that hasn’t been violated, fucked, holed, spooged or widened. I’m thinking her left ear. Maybe. Oh wait, if R Kelly pissed in it, does that count?

    Reply
  10. Drestlyz | September 8, 2008 at 3:06 pm

    Her skank ass just got shown naked….again!

    http://www.ihateyoujulia.com/?id=9ffae72a3a7a68ee077c231e79fdc78f

    Reply
  11. Thumperchica | September 8, 2008 at 3:13 pm

    @4 – Wow, looking for any reason to preach politics huh? Lame-ass

    Paris Hilton’s vernacular is astonishing… She’s like, really good, and that’s like, really good, so I think it’s awesome

    Reply
  12. shut up | September 8, 2008 at 3:13 pm

    Shut up about Julia already!! No one cares.

    Reply
  13. rough daddy | September 8, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    “cool, good and awesome “I need to incorporate these words in my vocabulary more often,,,,funny how paris and the jonas brothers have opposite sexual libido!

    Reply
  14. Miserable Bastard | September 8, 2008 at 3:25 pm

    The funniest part of this whole story is when she says “I think”.

    Reply
  15. A Monkeys Uncle | September 8, 2008 at 3:25 pm

    Hey, is this vapid, insipid, vacuous whore dating Sam Ronson also? Or is that her stunt double in the last 3 pics?

    Reply
  16. obama sucks | September 8, 2008 at 3:25 pm

    you obama worshipping cocksuckers sure are a tolerant bunch of homos

    Reply
  17. ph7 | September 8, 2008 at 3:29 pm

    Paris needs to get a girlfriend so her boobs can grow to the size of Lindsey’s.

    Reply
  18. sameshitdifferentyear | September 8, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    TRANSLATION :

    She’s going to seduce them, have a foursome, and videotape herself using a strap-on on all three of them.

    Then “accidentally” release the tape, and laugh like a demon as they commit suicide, one by one.

    Paris, we have your M.O.
    You’re one sick bitch.

    Reply
  19. el ces | September 8, 2008 at 3:50 pm

    Paris has always delighted in doing as she pleases, whatever the criticism (or prosecution), so its no suprise she advocates others doing the same.
    Defiantly, I love it.

    Reply
  20. Turd Ferguson | September 8, 2008 at 3:51 pm

    Hey! How did that guy get that suit out of my grandpas casket???

    Wait a sec, he has tats!
    I thought your supposed to only wear your tattoo shop issued wife-beater if you have tats to let everyone know you’re all cool-like?

    I’m gonna get muscle definition tattoos so I don’t have to be ashamed to wear a wife-beater.

    Reply
  21. Turd Ferguson | September 8, 2008 at 3:55 pm

    Oh yeah,

    I wouldn’t touch Parasite with lohan’s fugly little boyfriends dick!

    Bwahhhhh-ha-ha-ha …..uhh…ha!

    Reply
  22. Mark Foley and Larry Craig | September 8, 2008 at 4:10 pm

    #16 – agreed!

    By the way, do you know where all the cocksucking is going on? We know all the “special” bathrooms at the Capitol, but maybe there’s a special seat in the back on Obama’s campaign bus…? we sure hope so :)

    Reply
  23. Uncle Eccoli | September 8, 2008 at 4:16 pm

    There’s something sick and depraved about a self-avowedly virginal teenage boy. I can’t put my finger on exactly what it is (nor would I want to), but, yeah…

    (Did I make up a word? Avowedly?)

    Reply
  24. Inga | September 8, 2008 at 4:37 pm

    Wasn’t it Perez Hilton who said that, not Paris?

    Reply
  25. Se | September 8, 2008 at 4:47 pm

    Little does she know that those ‘virgins’ furiously masturbate to One Night in Paris.

    Reply
  26. LL | September 8, 2008 at 4:54 pm

    Paris should write an inspirational book. She’s really got a unique perspective on teenage life in the 21st century. Seriously, she’s like Gandhi or something…

    Reply
  27. LoudNLucky | September 8, 2008 at 5:19 pm

    @ LL – Oh the names of that book running through my head right now… LMAO

    Reply
  28. Natalie | September 8, 2008 at 5:48 pm

    Her feet are huge! In that pic with her leg up, her foot is as wide as her and that guy put together!

    Reply
  29. What a phony | September 8, 2008 at 6:15 pm

    Well, Paris, perhaps you should preactice what you preach when you’re not in front of TV cameras. Cottage cheese in a garbage bag, anyone?

    Reply
  30. What a phony | September 8, 2008 at 6:15 pm

    Well, Paris, perhaps you should practice what you preach when you’re not in front of TV cameras. Cottage cheese in a garbage bag, anyone?

    Reply
  31. What a phony | September 8, 2008 at 6:15 pm

    Well, Paris, perhaps you should practice what you preach when you’re not in front of TV cameras. Cottage cheese in a garbage bag, anyone?

    Reply
  32. Pope Benedict | September 8, 2008 at 7:01 pm

    All this means is that the Jonas Bros jerk off all the time like all “virgins”.

    Reply
  33. Freddy | September 8, 2008 at 7:55 pm

    Who’s the twat in the hat?

    Reply
  34. herbiefrog | September 8, 2008 at 8:16 pm

    looks like someone bought us yet another present…

    hello…

    hello… our name is paris : )

    it’s ok… we wont hurt you… just relax

    [ok can we find out what is goinhg on?
    [oh some vma thing
    [ok... lets just let it all go

    [have you fallen in a black hole

    [...

    [where's the love ?

    duh... we slaved for you
    is that what we had to put up with ?

    salved for us ?

    you have no idea...

    [can we just leave now?]

    Reply
  35. Diamond | September 9, 2008 at 12:02 am

    She knows she wants all 3 of them.

    Reply
  36. gerard Vandenberg | September 9, 2008 at 12:45 am

    BECAUSE TRANS-SEXUALS AND FAGGOTS HELP EACHOTHER, folks!!

    Reply
  37. tc | September 9, 2008 at 5:38 am

    God gave them boys cocks. Why do they deny this?

    Reply
  38. Lola | September 9, 2008 at 9:53 am

    Who asked this walking disease of her opinions? She should have taken her own advice at the age of 9 when she decided to start sucking dick, and fucking anything with a penis… Dirty ass skank

    Reply
  39. shweetz | October 30, 2008 at 5:27 pm

    hilarious shxt here .. i don’t care, i love this dress Paris has on … perfect color for her and great style. looks like one of Kira Plastinina’s … http://www.kiraplastinina.us

    Reply
  40. Patricia | February 2, 2009 at 12:10 pm

    aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!! i cant belive this! … f*cking bitch ¬¬’

    Reply
  41. Lara | June 22, 2009 at 6:14 pm

    well..I think it’s pretty unusuall for paris to do sutch of comments. And I agree that their sex-life/choice is really not anyones bussines.. But maybe they also consider it as a good “move” for their career, who knows?

    Reply
  42. elizabeth | August 5, 2009 at 9:27 pm

    That waz nice of Paris to say,To sick up for the Bro’s…I’m so glad to hear they wear purity rings,Cuz i wear one to…(LOL)So we have somethings in common…And i bet alot of other people wear them to!!!!So STOP making FUN of the Jonas Brothers!!!!!

    Reply

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