Paris Hilton debuts her new single, reality show

September 30th, 2008 // 62 Comments

Paris Hilton’s new reality show Paris Hilton’s My New BFF starts tonight on MTV and it will feature her latest single “My BFF.” For those of you playing the home game, “BFF” stands for Big Fucking Fail. Check out the lyrics on this trainwreck:

“All my life I’ve been waiting for someone I can trust, someone who will tell me the truth – even when it’s the hard thing to say.”

First off, I’ve got no problem telling Paris the truth: You have a smelly vagina. Second, take a listen to the song on KIIS-FM and tell me that’s not the same chick singing who does Heidi Montag’s songs. Seriously, whoever you are, stop it. You’re hurting America. In fact, Al Qaeda just called; they said “Thanks.”

superficial

  1. havoc

    I’d be more interested in Paris Hilton: My New Brain Aneurysm.

    .

  2. Dexter

    1st

  3. m.munroe

    so over her.

  4. m.munroe

    AND! shes about two seasons two late on the floral print dress. not to mention, people wont catch on to the trend till january or february anyway.

  5. ph7

    she’s looking old. And starting to look a little porky.

  6. m.munroe

    typo on the second two.. obviously meant too**

  7. Paris Hilton is a human condom. And what’s really sad is that she thinks she has “fans” and that she some sort of “pop-culture” icon, or that people actually want to see her UGGO, fugly, stork-looking face.

    She looks like a melting old lady in that picture above. A melting old lady in huge fucking sunglasses plunked down on her massively repulsive bird face. Why does she keep shoving her hideously untalented face all over the place?

    At one time people were interested because of her barfy sex tape (men will watch a celeb sex tape of ANYONE, whether they’re butt ugly or not–except for me, that is). Now, no one cares, she’s just stupid, untalented, and so unbelievable fucking ugly that people can barely look at her anymore.

  8. Big Ro

    I need a show too. How does “Big Ro goes to work” sound. I could fart for comedic effect, and put on a concerned face when required. And there it is, we have a reality show.

  9. PH *;o)

    HATERS…. bad things happen to bad people like you guys, why such a hater? What have she done to any of you’s?

  10. Virgodoll

    to #7, God why do u have to hate her sooooo much, i mean no one is really fond of her, but she is not really ugly, actually she is pretty, kind of hot too, and she does have a succeful business now doesnt she, if u were half as good looking as her and had 1/10th of her money, wudnt u be having a good time too??

  11. Ha! Smelly vagina…that was classic.

    Big Ro, can I sign up to be your geeky sidekick, aka Erkle/Screach?

  12. #10, Paris, is that you?! Hi Paris! How’s life as a walking condom? :)

  13. PH *;o)

    #7…

    Your name says it all, you have horrible judgment!

  14. Megan

    7 -

    Her businesses aren’t doing extremely well I can imagine…

    The thing is, is she has the money to waste on these “business” endeavors , and she has the money to fall back on if (when) they eventually fail.

    And she is ugly and has herpes. Double burn.

  15. PH

    #7…

    Your name says it all….

  16. Megan

    Meant to address #10, not #7***

  17. yourmama

    #7 speak for yourself you are vigina face you!

  18. dbone

    this isn’t paris. it is her wanna be double. look at the nose. the glasses are hiding her eyes.

  19. Lloyd Richard Wellington III

    At least she isn’t a human toilet like Kim Lardassian

  20. #13 and #15, thank you for repeating yourself, Paris. But actually, my name is in reference the judgment I pass down to you. :)

    And yes, #14–she probably does have herpes.

  21. #17, Hello again, Paris! It seems that your life as a human condom has kept you from learning to spell or form a coherent sentence!

  22. HorribleJudgment mother

    #20 Don’t speak like that of your sister, baby… You both have got herpes from me at birth.

  23. EuroNeckPain

    When will these people go bankrupt ?

    It would do them good.

  24. #22, Oooooh! So original Paris! So clever! :) You forgot to pluralize my name, though. You really should’ve gone to school, Paris, instead of spending your time getting herpes! :)

  25. Robert

    @22, maybe you should ask yourself why you’re getting so worked up defending a worthless celebrity who has no idea who you are, and no appreciation of your efforts. Nor does she know or care about this site, most likely. For you to get this angry defending this person seems to say quite a lot about you.

    Perhaps instead of spending your time defending Paris Hilton and insulting others who bash her you should take a long hard look at your life, and why you seem to care so much about what others say about this celebrity, who neither knows nor cares about you. There seems to be emptiness in your life. I say this not to belittle you in any way. I say it as a psychologist of many years.

  26. Slut

    She looks so much better with a dick as a thumb

  27. You’re all a bunch of losers. You are PERFECT examples of what is wrong with our world today and why I’m scared shitless for my children’s future.

  28. Virgodoll

    Nope #7, I aint Paris, I am not that lucky, I am only a dental student, but I will still end up making more than u

  29. SATAN

    would this fucking moron get breast implants already?

  30. ishi-san

    @ 27: *lol* you do realize that you are one of us, do you?!

  31. John McCain

    #27 I’m scared for your child’s future too. Fetal alchol syndrome is a bitch

  32. Grunion

    This song is going to be huge in Guantanamo Bay.

  33. Virgodoll

    @27, I am not a loser coz I dont have kids hahahahahha

  34. mai-tai

    Her feet always look gross in pumps. At least she now acts like she has a little bit of home training.

  35. @30…I am NOT one of you. I do not sit around all day behind my computer looking like God-knows-what, insulting people in order to make myself feel better.

    @31…Okay stupid, my children have already been born so it’s impossible for them to have “fetal” alcohol syndrome.

    @33…Ha Ha Ha Ha. That was great.

  36. #28, oh SURE you will. Keep telling yourself that, even though you worship Paris Hiltion and substitute the word “you” for “u”. Yeah, you’re a real winner! :)

  37. @36….LMAO! Stop it….you’re making my ribs hurt.

  38. #37, I thank you. :)

  39. Monkey-Boner

    w0w – the comments on this thread are W a a a y .. more entertaining than the original stories. Hahahaha …

  40. Needledick The Bug Fucker

    DAY UHM … SHE’S ~H A W T~

  41. gaB

    Her feet bother me so much.

  42. havoc

    You can tell when she’s not having a herpes breakout.

    She’s wearing short skirts….

    Buy stock in Valtrex.

    .

  43. Kim

    Paris has a really shitty tailor. Just look at that dress, the top and bottom don’t match up, the blue roses on the top go one way and then they go another on the bottom. I hope she didn’t pay too much for that thing. Her Asian tailor must have been in a “Rushy, Rushy” when he made that dress.

  44. Obama will kick the shit out of Palin

    She just needs to stop. I understand the girl has enough money to do whatever she wants..and bless her she does just that…but the rest of the world shouldn’t be subject to her flavors of the week or her new “passion”. Continue shopping, go to parties, flaunt your cash and whatnot, but leave the sound studio to those who can actually make good use of it!

  45. Megan

    Fuck, I knew I shouldn’t have clicked that link.

    It physically hurts me to listen to this shit music, and all the music on MTV and 99% of the radio.

    How can this girl even fucking know how to open her mouth to put a cock in it and throw up what little food she ate, much less to “sing”?

    Ridiculous. That song means nothing. But people will eat it up thinking if MUST since it’s been produced. Jesus, even if I was a starving producer, I’d move back in with my parents before signing up to release this shit.

  46. paris is a joke

    She just needs to give it up!!!! Her show has to be the stupidest one of the year next to denise richards and the lohans!! And I won’t waste anymore of my time,not going to listen to her talentless song!!!

  47. It’s like that guy had some horrible obsession having to post and repost over and over again to whatever I had to say. There’s only one thing you can call someone who has to keep reposting to my posts and making accusations that are OBVIOUSLY false and being so profane too: DERANGED

  48. #47, are you that deranged guy? Because you’re certainly not me. Good God, crazy homo, get over me and get a life! I’ve won, don’t you get it! :) Go treat your raging herpes in prison! :)

  49. Klinefeld

    47 oh shit. not you again. you’re the fuckin guy who picks a superficial poster to fall in gay love with and follow around and duplicate their name and use different names, and get and obsession like fatal attraction. Troll, fuck off.

  50. you fuck off

    No you fuck off! I’ll find someone else when I feel like it. HJ spewed out the same lame shit about me over and over and he’s gonna pay for it. Anyone who’s got a problem with it can fuck off. HJ=retard who fucks his mother!

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