Paris Hilton & Cristiano Ronaldo actually happened

June 11th, 2009 // 77 Comments

I stand corrected. TMZ managed to snap some shots of Paris Hilton and soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo making out at MyHouse last night:

A source close to Paris told us Ronaldo was staring at her all night before he finally went up to her. After he finally got the nerve to approach her, we’re told he couldn’t keep his hands off her and they eventually headed over to sister Nicky’s house.
Our source said, “Paris is stoked to be with a real athlete — unlike her ex, a low-paid minor league baseball player.”

For the record, the star in the first pic is TMZ’s, so I have no idea what’s under there. But let’s assume it’s similar to a stegosaurus laying on its side and covered in maple syrup. Too real? You’re right. My bad.

Photos: TMZ

  1. aadsf




  3. Jizzy Goggle

    One way to celebrate an £80 million transfer

  4. miau

    so…if paris can have I can have him too..good to know..miau…

  5. Björn

    Haha :)

  6. Me

    Anyone posting after Me likes to play with Cristiano Ronaldo’s balls and swing from his goalpost

  7. David

    Wow! First a lost to Barcelona and now this???? He’s going downhill fast =(

  8. Brandon

    My guess is that Ronaldo got hammered as fuck to celebrate the transfer news, and for all he knows he made out with a lamp last night.

  9. Burgz

    Pork Chop Sandwiches !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Jimmy Jim

    anyone who posted right before me needs to get a life, no one thinks its funny. I’m responding to you because you clearly need to feel like you exist, so hope this attention satisfies you. You don’t have to slit your wrists now.

  11. Burgzz

    Pork Chop Sandwiches !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. Barry

    I hope he has access to some strong antibiotics. His balls are going to feel like a pair of maracas in a couple of days.

  13. Dont ever get brain scan #6 a slew of cock imagery will appear…

  14. Moto Rola

    He feels the burn

  15. eric

    Well… he now has aids.

  16. Zanna

    @4 – you can have her herpes too….

  17. G-PewNit

    All the money in the world won’t get rid of her gift that keeps on giving.

    Cristiano Ronaldo: Damaged Goods.

  18. The UW

    two bitches.

  19. Ditka

    Ha ha ha ha


    ha ha ha ha ha

  20. man..that was quick.. what a sleezebag

  21. quake


  22. JustJess

    Probably the worst lay of his life – I mean – we all know how Paris fucks –

    Didn’t her video tip him off? It would be like fucking a broom…and dick is gonna be feel like it fuck a broom – oh, in about 2 weeks…

  23. Darth

    I see his value already dropping like a brick!

  24. Rhialto

    Is he allowed to travel to Europe after this?

  25. Venom

    Great for Paris, terrible for Ronaldo.
    If he did not have herpes before, for sure he has it now.

  26. kiuj

    wouldnt it be great if he had euro zombie crotch rot and gave it to paris.

  27. 2 grls 1 cp

    remove the star plz

  28. Chez

    This is fucking appalling, a goddamn travesty. It’s not enough, is it universe, swine flu?? It’s just not enough is it? No, this fucking crab farm is allowed to ooze across the planet. He just got more money than God and seriously looked around the club and thought ‘yep, that’s the best I can do?’

  29. sarah

    Paris is incorrigible! It’s hard to feel any sympathy for her when she acts like this. Paris is the ultimate sybarite!

  30. hookertom

    Damn you people are so dumb. This girl sleeps with a far less number of people than an average social female her age, and you virgins act like she is such a slut. If it werent for sluts you all would have NO chance of getting laid in the first place.

  31. Beckman

    #19 thats just damn funny….

    The Herp………….Thats sucks for him.

  32. Han

    @ 31: Where do you live??? Sounds like fun!

  33. Ooze

    When I heard earlier this week that Christiano Ronaldo was vacationing in LA I said “yep, he’s huntin’ for skanks”.

  34. Huckleberry Hashimoto

    The star is stuck. Thanks for doing us all a big favor.

  35. I'm so Vapid

    Ummm….Yeah, if I were to hit the lottery; My first thoughts would be:

    1) I need V.D.
    2) What is the fastest way to get crabs?
    3) I hate my Penis
    4) Must find the nearest star fucker
    5) I need the equivalent of pouring gas on my balls and lighting a match!

    #31 Maybe you should go hang out on Geekologie…Say hi to Daisy when there….

  36. Fuck U

    Will this walking plague ever die?
    No, she travels around the world spreading her foul diease.
    That slut has to be stopped. The stupid motherfuckers who fuck this fuckin diease should be stopped!
    #31 what fuckin planet are you on?
    #6(Me)…get a fuckin life, you fuckin turd.
    That line is stupid and tired…just like you.
    Like Jimmie Jim says or should of said…DO go cut your wrists.

  37. Dread not

    Aw, Paris is gonna ease her own pain by inflicting some on, Renaldo. This douche plays soccer, bunch of candy ass floppers. If he thinks that Paris Hilton is worth it for the bragging rights, then he deserves to get crotch rot, from lil’ miss Humpsalot. Sad part is, there will come a day when banging, Paris, is looked upon a sad desperate act by those guys who saw it as a “right of passage” into celebrity, pardon the pun. If the rot don’t getcha, the eventual shame will. Damn, that pussy’s gonna get you, one way, or another.

  38. Amy

    I can’t imagine wearing a short skirt with no panties and then subseqently sitting somewhere at a bar. That’s just nasty.

  39. What happened to the tool Doug whats his face?

  40. lizzy



    ugh, he really is such a manwhore though i can’t take it.

    why, cristiano, why why why?

  41. Kelsey

    Didn’t she just break up with Doug whothefuckever like 10 hours ago? Give it a rest honey.
    She strikes me as one of those chicks who can never not be in a relationship, the ones who can’t define themselves without some fucking guy telling them how wonderful and beautiful they are all the time. Gross.

  42. 2 grls 1 cp

    ohhhhhhhhhhh i get it. the star was not your star

  43. Lain

    What the fuck? Don’t celebrities hate this bitch too? I guess not.

  44. x

    sigh, ronaldo. totally disappointed me, what a sleaze bag, maybe i should not rejoice over the fact that he’s out of manchester united for good. goodness. i really feel like giving his balls a karate chop. and its really typical of paris eh. bloody disgusting chop stick.

  45. x

    *now rejoice

  46. Ryan the Canadian

    Good for her. The best thing she has done for herself. There is not a woman alive that wouldn’t mount that dude’s pole so any females on here bitching or judging are envious….better she fucks him than that last horribly dressed douche she was dating……

  47. Cathy

    They are really Sexy, you like Big woman or man? Recently, I found a friend platform ******Cougar Circle. c o m*****, where a lot of people from different walks of life share their happiness and sorrow. If you are interested, I am sure they will welcome you to join !!

  48. Lory

    ronaldo is gayer then gay though? But then again, Paris is shaped like a dude so….

  49. n

    gross. both. are. whores.

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