Paris Hilton cries on Letterman

If you missed any of this over the weekend, what’s it like to be in a coma? While you think of an answer, here’s what went down: Letterman had Paris Hilton on his show Friday night and basically tore into her with questions about being in jail until Paris broke out the waterworks. People reports:

After facing a continued barrage of jail-related questions, Hilton, who was on the show to promote her new fragrance Can-Can and her upcoming movie, Repo! The Genetic Opera, said, “I don’t really want to talk about it anymore.” But Letterman would not be swayed. “This is where you and I are different. Because this is all I want to talk about,” he said.

As Letterman continued to press, Hilton held up her hand: “I’m going on the next question. I’m over it.”

At one point a crowd member yelled, “I love you Paris!” which she answered by saying, “I love you too,” and blowing a kiss. Quipped Letterman, “Somebody you met in prison?” Hilton, blushing, shook her head no.

“There’s other stuff to talk about Dave,” Hilton said. “I didn’t come here to talk about this. That was a long time ago.”

Finally, after more than six minutes of grilling, Hilton said Letterman was making her “sad that I came here.”

I don’t think Paris Hilton understands that going to jail is about the only conversation-worthy thing she’s done in, well, ever. Millionaire heiress had to serve jail-time despite her wealth and undeserved celebrity status. That’s seriously the feel-good event of the year. If John Wayne were alive, he’d actually shed a tear knowing Paris did time. Then he’d say we should “go and hunt some Injuns” and we’d all kind of look around real awkward-like. We could tell him that kind of talk is frowned upon these days. Or we could, I dunno, not get shot. That works too. Especially for me. I try and keep my stomach bullet-free. It’s sort of a quirky little thing I do.