Paris Hilton checking into Twin Towers Correctional Facility

June 8th, 2007 // 440 Comments
paris-hilton-in-tears.jpg

Paris Hilton is currently being checked into the Twin Towers Correctional Facility, the same place she checked herself into Sunday night after the MTV Movie Awards. And that means pretty soon she’ll be in for another strip search. If the family of the prison guards don’t hear back from them anytime soon, don’t worry, they’re probably just lost somewhere in her vagina. I heard it took Lewis and Clark eight months to find their way out of there.

UPDATE: TMZ reports that instead of being transported to the Century Regional Detention Facility, Paris Hilton will spend the weekend in the medical ward of the Twin Towers Correctional Facility while her lawyers file an appeal. Her lawyers are filing a writ of habeas corpus, claiming her body is being held illegally. Which is about the only way anybody would ever want to hold her body. Zing!


  1. theo

    This is to damn good.

  2. amanda

    This is what happens when you are a racist, exploitative bitch who drinks and drives…

  3. booby32323

    FRIST!

  4. vercat

    lol, i love the look on her face in that pic

  5. FABULOUS. Guess being rich isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

  6. ErinBerens

    I have such an overwhelming feeling of happiness right now, it’s unreal! She broke the law and she deserves every ounce of punishment she gets. Mommy and Daddy can’t buy her out of this mess. What a waste of space Paris is.

  7. wpk

    i am so happy right now. what a joy!

  8. Jumondo

    yeah Baby back to twat camp for you.

  9. Maria

    she will probably enjoy getting stripped searched again…if I were the correctional officer doing it, i would double glove it..

  10. Twin Towers Correctional Facility? 6/8 is the new 9/11. Let’s hope Paris goes into Twin Towers like a 747, shrieking and exploding into a ball of fire.

  11. Crying?
    There’s no crying in prison.

  12. it's me fuckers

    hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha!!!!

    *wipes tear away*

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Stupid fucking cunt crying for her mommy!!!! OMG, this has made my weekend!!!

  13. Diana

    DAMN! Paris Hilton with no makeup! Scary…

  14. How rare is it that we will all have better weekends than Paris? I wonder if the guards strip searching her are applicable for workman’s comp?

  15. Cristina

    #3 don’t act as if you’ve never done it. stfu

  16. The double gloves, they do nothing….

  17. Robert H.

    This is the best news of the whole year.

  18. rolan

    Christmas came early and Justice for all.

  19. Julie

    Is she really that surprised? Really? Seriously? She’s dumber than I thought.

  20. Stand by for the State of Cali being sued for millions by her lawyers.

    http://www.innerdrama.com

  21. it's me fuckers

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

    Holy fuck!!!!! I just can’t stop laughing!!!

    Mwahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

    Teehee… snicker…… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

  22. Habeus Corpus? Wtf. How is her sentence illegal? She broke the fucking law.

  23. nash

    “Mom…Mom…Mom…”

    This is priceless!

    Historical day!

  24. RichPort

    This is now my new favorite picture. It will replace the one in my foyer of Bush getting ass raped by Cheney while Condi takes pictures of Osama masturbating. At least the Paris one wasn’t Photoshopped. Sweet reality!

  25. kampui

    fuckin’ awesome.

  26. Texas Tranny

    I guess she couldn’t handle the prison issued panties. tee hee

  27. twcheer

    Hahahahhahahahahah
    That has to be about the
    greatest picture I’ve ever
    seen!!!
    Hahahahahaha

    Let’s Hate Paris Campaign
    Of America!

  28. phillip oliver hole

    poor girl

  29. fakant

    11- so wrong but so fucking lol

  30. Devon Bickhart

    Whoever writes this, I love you. (I’m female) Where can we meet?

  31. kimberly

    why the hell is it called “twin towers” ?

  32. I definitely think you can only claim habeas corpus if you actually didn’t do anything wrong and are being imprisoned on false charges, which she definitely doesn’t qualify for. But I don’t know, I didn’t do good in law class.

  33. MJ

    Seeing another human weep shouldn’t bring me such joy but it does in this case. I giggled my ass off.

  34. getoutofmygalley

    Twin Towers Correctional Facility and Day Spa.

  35. HoboChic

    Ok, from a legal perspective, it’s pretty crazy to file a writ of habeas corpus over an 18-day stay in the county pokey for a traffic violation. Her lawyers are going to the federal government to say that the state is holding her illegally because there is some violation of her federal constitutional rights, people. So now it’s not just state resources but federal that are being wasted. I am thinking this can’t be right…surely it’s a writ on mandamus, which means the judge is overstepping his bounds.
    Everyone can wake up now, the civics lesson is over.

  36. HORRIBLE CUNT

    AMERICA-FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I hope that stupid bitch rots in there forever.

  37. This is why she dropped her appeal in the first place, because she cut a deal with the Sheriff, she KNEW she was getting out the whole time. HAHAHAHAHAH!!! Sucks when real life interferes with your plans doesn’t it Paris?

    This is the same Sheriff’s office that didn’t charge Mel Gibson with resisting arrest even though he tried to flee the scene and has not yet turned over Nichole Ritchies case to prosecutors.

    This sheriff is either a star fucker or a dishonest asshole taking bribes.

  38. normella

    LMFAO @ all of this.

  39. Yafit

    Poor baby!!! I feel sorry for her she is not a criminal she just made a mistake..

  40. getoutofmygalley

    You insensitive pricks.
    Has no one even asked, “what’s to happen to her dog?”

  41. lace

    yeah. but she always wins in the end.

  42. jimmy

    It should have been nicole richie, you know, since she’s a bitch and all.

  43. Texas Tranny

    ROFLMAOPIP

  44. Sarah Jane

    PARIS, you are not above the law! Maybe a nice nervous breakdown will be the closest thing to reality you’ve had your entire life!

  45. it's me fuckers

    http://www.dlisted.com/node/10983

    check out the remake of Paris’ video, lol

  46. wierdo

    # 11- You really have no idea what really happened on 9/11, just what the media told you, so stop using something you really think you understand, but don’t.

  47. TMQuinn

    Ahhh!!! I’m making this picture the wallpaper on my RAZR!

    To f’ing classic!

  48. alex

    its really sad that this is the most covered news in america

  49. TheMadCow

    All I have to say is… be careful of what you wish for…

    She wanted to be famous, now take everything that comes with that…good and bad. And use a little more KY personal lubricant, it will cut down on the chafing from all those bull dykes shoving their arms up your ass to their shoulders… trust me. Just relax and think of home…

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