Paris Hilton can write

Paris Hilton surprised me by using words and sentences to update her blog last night and informed everyone that she’s in love with Benji Madden. I imagine after she finished typing Paris fell out of her chair, clutching her head and screaming “OW! OW! OW! I think my brain has herpes too now!” Here’s what she had to say (Warning: Idiotic drivel approaching):

Hey everyone!
Just wanted to check in and say hi! I’ve been on tour with my boyfriend for almost a month now. We’ve been everywhere from South Africa to all around Europe. It’s been so much fun! I’ve never felt so happy and in love, he’s such an amazing guy and life has never been better! :) It’s so much fun going to their shows every night, I now know every song by heart. I love Good Charlotte, they rock!! All the guys in the band are so cool and sweet and it’s been such an amazing and memorable experience. In my free time, Ive been checking out all your casting videos on the casting site for my new MTV show,, there are A LOT of fabulous and interesting contenders. I cannot wait to start shooting this show!! It’s going to be a blast!! So if you haven’t logged in yet, go to the site and upload a video, I watch every single one. Also, I was in Montreal a couple days ago for my new shoe line launch, which was a huge success, the shoes are there top seller there. I want to thank you all for coming, it was great meeting you all. I love Canada!! Canadians are awesome, so genuine and real! Thank you for all your letters and kind words, they mean the world to me. Also I met the host of one of my fan sites, he was so nice and sweet and has a really cool site, go check it out. Well, I gotta go, cause my boy is about to go on stage and I want to go out there and watch him. Also, later I will post some pictures I’ve taken throughout my travels this month, and I’ll be blogging more often to keep you guys posted on what I’m up to.
Love you all and thank you for all your love and support!
Love always, Paris :) xoxo

More blogging to come? HUZZAH! In the meantime, here’s the link ( to audition for Paris’ new reality show and become her new best friend. Or you could just send me your social security number and actually come out ahead in life. I’ll let you think that over for a minute while I get estimates on a Jet Ski with its own mini-bar.

Photos: Getty Images