Paris Hilton buys a fancy new car

Next story I better GOD damn hear about Pee-pee is this:

“Paris Hilton dives off cliff in new Mercedes bought just hours ago”

Film at 11pm.

The door opening of her car matches the size of the gapping hole in between her legs.

Peeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

jesus.

I am really tired of the waif look with the giant clown glasses. The last time glasses that big looked good they were attached to the face of Groucho Marx and even then they had a moustache kicking it up a notch. I don’t even know how Paris can see well enough to drive a car she can’t begin to appreciate with those giant windows attached to the front of her face.

hehe, I got first post!!! Paris is a stupid rich mole who should crawl into a corner & die. Thereby reducing the spread of all sexually transmitted diseases known to mankind by a good 80%!! It would be 100% if Tara Reid joined her!!

dammit!!! in the time it took me to writeup I missed first post!! I hate all u mofo’s who live on this site!!

Wow #5. It took you 2 minutes to write a 3 sentence post and you still thought you would be first. Worst. First. Poster. EVER!

I’m so glad paris hilton is driving a 617-hp car.

Man damnit, I can’t stand when some stupid bitch can buy thinks that they can’t even really appreciate. That is a serious machine, but for her it’s just a little pretty car to go to clubs in.

Careful Paris, It’s warm in Ca. don’t let the leather seats burn those herpes sores.

Ugh, I’m trying to imagine the scent of New Car, Puss, Valtrex and dried semen.

If leather seats could cry…who knows what kind of gunk is going to seep from her crotch on a balmy L.A. day.

Poor car. I heard this is a publicity stunt for Paris

Did anyone notice where she was seen pulling up to…
The restaurant Ivy where Britney was changing her baby’s diaper in the dining room. Britney then Paris, surely this must be some kind of helath code violation, and that place should be shut down!

It looks like the car from “The Ambiguously Gay Duo” on SNL. People, please no jokes about ‘getting the car into the garage.’

ESQ – you’ve been missing!
Where’s Laydeebug?
You have to make me laugh!

ESQ

You forgot to mention the part about it bursting into a glorious ball of flames, as the world cheered…

I wonder what Paris will be like in 15 years, when her friends, youth, and her looks are gone…because that’s all she has going for her now.

#15: She better be dead in 15 years. Or 1 day.

SHUT UP EVERYONE. Y’all are just haters. Paris is awesome, and she works hard for the money she earned to buy that car.

lol.

By the way, she looks like a Golden Girls extra in that outfit.

She had to do something to attempt to look attractive after the world heard about her herpes.

I can’t (and would not attempt to) speak for anyone else here, but I’m just glad that this isn’t a photo of her getting out of her new car in a dress………. someone – somewhere deserves an award for making her wear slacks while driving this thing because, euwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

I’m surprised she can even drive that thing. Who wants to take bets on how long it will be before she totals it?

Beautiful car. Bubble-headed skank at the wheel. What has gone wrong with the world??

all we need to do is let peta know that the car has fur inside and then they can pelt the car with flour and stuff tampons in the tailpipe.

I think instead of the website being called ‘The Superficial’ it should be called ‘The Skank Diary of Paris Hilton’ where by EVERY article is about Paris.

March 15, 2006
Paris Hilton buys a fancy new car

March 16, 2006
Paris Hilton buys a new dog.

March 17, 2006
Paris Hilton walks her dog.

March 18, 2006
Paris Hilton takes a crap.

March 19, 2006
Paris Hilton finds out she has clamydia.

March 20, 2006
Paris Hilton is arrested then released after she sleeps with the parole officer.

Is she really all that important?

Ridiculous.

Oh. I guess that wasn’t her I saw in the ’74 Vega.

this one’s for you Xanthia http://www.imghosted.com/image.php?i=QSAZfHez

What a beautiful automobile! Bitch doesn’t even deserve it!

#19 Xanthia: That was my first thought too. I think Paris getting Herpes is the best thing that could have happened to the rest of us…now she CAN’T go commando and flash her gash getting out of the car!

Well she could but even Paris has enough brains to not let pictures of those nasty sores get out on the net. Or does she….

She probably jumped in, got confused and started blowing the gearshift.

For a celebrity like Paris, that is nothing but $400 and change for normal people. Actually, if I was Paris Hilton I would be terrified, at least somebody normal can sit alone and eat without having their picture taken every few seconds.

Unconfirmed. But, I think she has a deal with mercedes to promote this bad boys.

She showed up in one at the MTV VMA’s last year in Miami.

There is no justice. If you take away all the money you just have a washed up reality show contestant with a lazy eye and a contaminated crotch…

So how do you sell the used soiled Bently-The new car smell is way gone and covered up by Paris’ rotting, festering, oozing ___________ you fill in the blank with your favorite term. Lets be creative

Dammit! That blow chunks. The SLR is an awsome car, and now it’s going to get associated with a two bit whore.

In record time the new car smell was replaced by the lingering scent of vagasil and tuna.

She does not deserve this car. This isn’t some C-class or even an AMG. This is an SLR McLaren, perhaps one of the finest cars ever made. She cannot comprehend what this car is, let alone what it can do. I would get herpes in a heartbeat if it meant that I could drive this car.

And if she ever lets me drive it, well I guess that would be two birds with one stone, so to speak.

She does not deserve this car. This isn’t some C-class or even an AMG. This is an SLR McLaren, perhaps one of the finest cars ever made. She cannot comprehend what this car is, let alone what it can do. I would get herpes in a heartbeat if it meant that I could drive this car.

And if she ever lets me drive it, well I guess that would be two birds with one stone, so to speak.

I agree with #5 and #34. It wouldn’t normally annoy me, probably because i’d still really like to sex her but the McLaren SLR, why oh why did Merc let her buy that.

It should have been like the enzo, they invited you to buy it, not the other way around.

THANKS A LOT CoLoStOmY, now i have to rip my eyes out.

does anyone wonder what daddy and mommy hilton think about this bitch? i mean, after all.. she is spending their money. what guy in his right mind would sleep with her? i wonder how long the seat will last before it starts to spontaneously combust from herpes exp-HO-sure… haha.. i crack myself up.

Paris is the shit, people. Like none of YOU have ever had herpes?

In response to #13 – Jacq I have been here, thanks for the shout-out : )

Laydeebug, Laydeebug oh where have you been?

In response to #14 – thanks and you are so right.

Fisher55 – speak for yourself….

isn’t that the same car she got into a small fender bend with and ran a red light??

i saw it on E news last night lol

Is she even smart enough to figure out how to open the doors or did she have to hire someone to help her with that?

Hey Post. No. 13,

guess where Paris parks her car.

Wow! she finally found a car with a hooked beak just like hers.

That car is actually really easy to drive. Its a big cruising GT car. It’s not a crazy bonkers supercar. The chances of wrapping it around a tree offing herself are slim her. Sadly, that car is more Merc than McLaren. Now it’s duly ruined beyond repair by Paris. Having Bruce’s name on that car is a damn shame. Wait until Jeremy and the Top Gear gang hear about this….

Maybe she and Federslime can get together and compare notes on how they each have high-performance cars that they don’t deserve, don’t appreciate, and couldn’t afford on their own.

As Richard Gerbil-stuffer Gere said at an Oscar ceremony years ago, let us all gather our energy together and focus: If there is any justice, beauty, truth, goodness, or karma in this world Paris will suffer a fatal, single-car accident in this vehicle.

Execution during a carjacking would be okay, too.

#30: How about “festering vaginosis” or “crotch rot”.

Will this leach please get a job already?

#10, Spindoc- eeeeew… now i’m gonna hafta go shove some pez up my nose to stop the thought of that…
oh, but while i’m looking for that pez… you forgot vomit and eau de britney’s baby’s poo – because after all, she is going to have to go purge that meal from the ivy

#32 – funny and dirty

Sigh

Sigh

Sigh

Is it just me, or did celebrities back in the day have so much more class? Case in point: Audrey Hepburn, Peter Fonda. Mr. Bogart!

you have to think positive. maybe in 2 years, when kevin federline is done breaking britney’s bank account and spirit, he’ll start dating paris hilton. he’ll do what he does best, keeping semi-famous women fat and pregnant. and then paris will get what she deserves. you’ll see.