Paris Hilton and Britney Spears were set to cohost the Billboard Music Awards, which airs live tonight from Las Vegas, but Britney dropped out. Then Paris was going to host herself until this past weekend when she quit too because she wasn’t happy with the jokes written for her.
“It is my understanding that some satirical references ridiculed some of her peers,” her spokesman, Elliot Mintz, said in a statement. “Paris did not want to say anything that could appear hurtful or embarassing about people she knows.” Mintz said Hilton received a script Friday that contained material she found “objectionable.” Representatives for Hilton and the awards show could not come to an agreement about the script’s content so she decided to scrap the appearance, he said.
Paris Hilton could keep herself entertained with a funny picture of a dog for a week so you’ve got serious problems if she doesn’t think your jokes are good enough. If they were serious about keeping her they should’ve added a “Jessica Simpson is fat” after every line. Then she would’ve done the whole thing for free and praised it as the greatest writing since the invention of language.
llllllllll | December 4, 2006 at 9:10 am
first
llllllllll | December 4, 2006 at 9:11 am
second haha
enfilade | December 4, 2006 at 9:11 am
Her whole life is a joke, she should see the humor in it.
http://www.scandalsnappers.com/
llllllllll | December 4, 2006 at 9:12 am
this one is deicated to EJ…thiiiiiiiiird
NipsyHustle | December 4, 2006 at 9:14 am
http://www.circinfo.com/glossary/uncirc.jpg
completely unrelated but as equally disgusting as paris.
superstar | December 4, 2006 at 9:20 am
She should be used to hurting people she knows…especially Jessica Simpson. She knows Jessica Simpson and she called her fat and said she hated her, so she should be used to saying these bad ‘jokes’
She’s obviously said hurtful things about other people too, not just Jessica!
Sammich | December 4, 2006 at 9:21 am
What’s the difference between Paris Hilton and salt?
Salt has sodium. Paris Hilton has herpes.
NipsyHustle | December 4, 2006 at 9:24 am
paris and brit are both afraid of being sabotaged like brit was when jimmy kimmel did the “bon voyage EARL” skit.
serial snarkalec | December 4, 2006 at 9:25 am
One must have been about Britney’s crotch looking like her kinkajou with a case of mange. Very insulting to Baby Luv!
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | December 4, 2006 at 9:25 am
I wonder what she’s copying? Xeroxes of Britney’s vagina?
Polly | December 4, 2006 at 9:27 am
Hey, where Britney goes, Paris follows!
Shame you’re not doing a catch-up of Britney’s last few days. But there are some great pix of her birthday at http://www.showbizvixen.com
jesseeca | December 4, 2006 at 9:27 am
“Paris did not want to say anything that could appear hurtful or embarassing about people she knows.”
umm doesn’t she do this all the time & on video? Does the “firecrotch” tirade ring a bell Paris?
Does she & her spokesman really think that peopel are going to take that statement seriously? Like she’s got values & morals? BAHAHAHAHAA!
ridgetaylor | December 4, 2006 at 9:29 am
anyone knows what brand of sunglasses Miss Hilton is wearing in these pics?
There's a Surprise Inside | December 4, 2006 at 9:31 am
Paris charges $100,000 and a private jet trip for an appearance at parties, but she makes her own copies?
Those must have been some kinky 8 by 10 glossies! Possibly involving hair gel and an elephant.
Wampoon.com | December 4, 2006 at 9:31 am
I’m surprised there wasn’t a nip slip in that picture.
http://wampoon.com
HolisticWisdomcom | December 4, 2006 at 9:37 am
I can’t help but get the image that she is about to take off her pants, sit on the copier and make copies.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/paris-hilton-video.htm
amaritimer | December 4, 2006 at 9:40 am
God I hate this stupid cunt. I would love to kick the bitch in her infected box but I am partial to keeping my foot.
I wish I could steal Heather Mills McCartney’s fake leg to kick her in the box.
BiGiTiGi | December 4, 2006 at 9:49 am
What is Paris Hilton doing!? She became such a…
http://sexy-celebs.blogspot.com
NipsyHustle | December 4, 2006 at 9:50 am
#18
don’t steal heather mills-mccartney’s peg leg. then she really won’t have a leg to stand on in court.
fearsarewishes | December 4, 2006 at 9:57 am
#18 and 20…
Please don’t do it. Stealing Heather’s phony leg would make her hopping mad!
Spindoc | December 4, 2006 at 10:00 am
Come on, WE ALL KNOW what the jokes were. They were most likely jokes about herself. THATS what pissed her off.
Either that or she found out Nichole Ritchie just called her fat.
Spindoc | December 4, 2006 at 10:01 am
18,20,21…
Ok, I have to add to it….
If you steal Heathers Fake leg will she have to change her name to I-Lean?
CelebSlam.com | December 4, 2006 at 10:03 am
Why the fuck would they want Paris to host anyways?
http://www.celebslam.com
sexybitch | December 4, 2006 at 10:07 am
#24 Because Lindsay Lohan is still in mourning for Bob Altman.
fearsarewishes | December 4, 2006 at 10:07 am
#18, 20, 21, 23…
Heather would change her name to Eileen unless she was Asian…then it would be Irene.
Thank you, thank you very much. I’ll be here all week. Try the veal and remember to tip your waitress. Thank you very much. You are all really too kind. Thank you.
Stuey75 | December 4, 2006 at 10:13 am
#26!!!!
I pledge my allegiance to your comedic genius!!!
master….teach me.
NipsyHustle | December 4, 2006 at 10:18 am
After his break up with Heather, Paul McCartney was asked if he would ever consider going down on one knee again. Paul said he would prefer it if we called her Heather.
86 | December 4, 2006 at 10:18 am
That’s not hot.
llllllllll | December 4, 2006 at 10:21 am
Black eyed Paris
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/images/paris_hilton_three_nose_job.jpg
Spindoc | December 4, 2006 at 10:22 am
26. fearsarewishes
I have nothing to add to your coment but this. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was great!
Oh and one more thing, Tom Cruise Still oves the cock and Gwyneth Paltrow is still a self important anorexic hag. Did I miss anything?
llllllllll | December 4, 2006 at 10:24 am
same fuckin paris
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/images/this_is_paris1.jpg
Glossed Over | December 4, 2006 at 10:30 am
I’m shocked to discover that, however misplaced they may be, Paris Hilton does have *some* standards. Who knew?
http://glossedover.com
llllllllll | December 4, 2006 at 10:31 am
another fuckin clown…
Hey Superfish, post some current pics of abnormal looking Kim.
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/leslie_kim.jpg
RichPort | December 4, 2006 at 10:40 am
fearsarewishes – Irene? hahahahahahahaha… nice play on an old joke (one that I have used countless times myself). Much like Paris, it doesn’t take much to give Heather Mills a tip…
RichPort | December 4, 2006 at 10:46 am
So that’s it??? Nothing else new on the Parisficial today?
mbarkr | December 4, 2006 at 10:58 am
Ok, first off: You’re funny, and I love the site.
Dude, for reals… I’m getting to the point of not wanting to come to your site anymore because there is never anything on here other than Paris and Britney.
Is there ANYTHING else you can put on here except those two stupid bitches?
Please?
Pretty please?
Dean | December 4, 2006 at 11:44 am
“the greatest writing since the invention of language”
ROFL, Fish. Glad to have you back.
You should cover the Danny DeVito story from Friday, it’s a good’n. And it doesn’t have Britney, Paris, or Lindsay.
PrettyBaby | December 4, 2006 at 12:13 pm
#36,37,38 Yes, thank you so much.
Paris Hilton is boring and she sucks.
Here is something hilarious I read this weekend…
“Tom and Katie already fighting on Honeymoon. Katie upset that Tom brought BESTMAN ON HONEYMOON” hahahhahha TCLTC
Someone, quick…Who was the fucking Best Man?
magickal | December 4, 2006 at 12:28 pm
PrettyBaby,
OK Mag is reporting that the person who went on the honeymoon with them is (can’t remember – some douche) like the director of scientology or something. But Star is reporting that this is a bullshit story and nobody went on the’moon with them. Who fucking cares anyway? I couldn’t help but laugh when I was standing in line with my daughter the other night at a checkout counter and there was Katie, Tom and Suri on the cover of some mag, and I said “isn’t that baby cute?” and my daughter (swear to god) said “yes, but why does it look japanese?” LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!
frenchtoaststix | December 4, 2006 at 12:42 pm
#18: Fucking A! That’s funny.
Seriously, SF, are there no tidbits other than Shitney flashing her netherfugly or Paris HIlton being vapid or Ho-han being a ho? No Michael Richards’ Apology Tour?
Ruby | December 4, 2006 at 12:43 pm
Looks like she is getting her resume ready:
“Ummm, kay, dancing in lezzy tutu – check! Dissing Hohan in public – check! Getting Brit back into the spotlight with super obvious vag shots – check! I think I’ve got all it takes to continue my reign as an over-rated, spoiled cunt!”
buzz_clik | December 4, 2006 at 3:15 pm
#37 – “there is never anything on here other than Paris and Britney. ”
Are you crazy? Where are your eyes? There’s oodles of content on other things, such as Lindsay Lohan being a twat, Lindsay Lohan speaking drivel, Lindsay Lohan posing in various ways (each more slutty and braindead than the last!), Lindsay Lohan being drunk, Lindsay Lohan pretending NOT to be drunk, Lindsay Lohan dancing, Lindsay Lohan doing her hair and a link to the Lindsay Lohan Action Figure – it walks (barely), it talks (sometimes in English), it has a laser-spewing firecrotch, AND it now comes with Karate Bitch action!*
*batteries not included, alleged friends partying separately.
mbarkr | December 4, 2006 at 4:11 pm
@ #43.
Touche. I stand corrected.
……sigh. And all so true.
;)
paulwall | December 4, 2006 at 6:32 pm
Check out the far right pic, in the top row. Is it me or does Paris have very manish hands.
Boogie Monster | December 4, 2006 at 8:15 pm
#45 – OMG You are so right. Those flippers she calls hands are HUGE… I think my BF has better looking hands then those things!!!
jojo | December 6, 2006 at 5:47 am
Man hands…like the Seinfeld episode. I want to see her crack open a lobster.
HollywoodSnark | March 27, 2007 at 1:04 pm
yeah, more like she was kicked out when they realized she doesn’t actually have any skills
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