Paris Hilton has been ordered back to jail in Lynwood and will serve out her original 45 day sentence with a credit for the 5 days she’s already served. Reporters say she was crying through the entire process and, when Judge Michael Sauer gave his decision, she let out a huge cry and said, “This isn’t right.” She was then physically dragged out of the courtroom by a female deputy, in tears, screaming, “Mom, Mom, Mom.”
Some witnesses say they saw a rainbow above the courtroom. And others say they saw a giant man in the clouds with a white beard nodding his head approvingly. And me? Well I saw Judge Michael Sauer grow to be twelve feet tall, with muscles the size of tree trunks. And when he smiled, little cartoon hearts appeared above my head and there was a strange tingling sensation in my pants.
NOTE: I officially nominate Judge Michael Sauer for President of the Entire Universe.
UPDATE: There’s conflicting reports about her sentence. She either has to serve out her reduced 23 days or her original 45 days depending on who you’re hearing it from.
UPDATE 2: The official word is that she has to serve out her original 45 day sentence, although that comes out to 23 days of actual jail time with good behavior (one day off for every day of good behavior). So she’s still going in for her original 45 day sentence, but will still only do 23 days (minus the 5 day credit) of actual jail time.
350. Nice try, Mullah “Comic” ( backwards ), but your reputation as a 17-year old, pimple-faced, chronic masturbator who posts everywhere pretending to be an illiterate mullah, when not obsessively looking at gay porn, precedes you.
Oh, and some webmasters say you post from Salt Lake City, which isn’t exactly south Waziristan, fucktard.
What’s up with the deleted posts?
This website is run mon-fri and yet they have the time to delete posts on the weekend.
202 – Nice plagarized comment straight from foxnews.com. Can’t you think of something to say on your own?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA lol
“It” is where it belongs. Biatch
Shes still in there and its Sunday! Yeeee HAAA!! no prison break for Parisite!
http://www.cafepress.com/cp/store.aspx?s=artdavinci.3116178
BEVERLY HILLS 90210 – where the STARS where the STRIPES or they live in PARIS!
NEWS FLASH
The Twin Towers professional staff has positively diagnosed Paris Hilton’s condition.
Miss Hilton has been confirmed to be suffering from an advanced case of HUTAS (Head Up The Ass Syndrome). Hilton exhibits acute symptoms related to a patient with their head clearly up their ass. It is known that if HUTAS isn’t diagnosed and treated in its early stages, the condition suffocates the brain and leads to irreversible systemic damage. Symptoms are characterized by a lack of intelligence, muffled hysteria and blind arrogance which enlarges the head making it more difficult to cure the disease.
Treatment for HUTAS includes applying repeated and sufficient force to each side of the buttocks with one’s foot. Having the patient walking or running while their buttocks is booted builds psychological remedy for the patient and satisfaction for the treatment specialist. Most professionals agree that in Miss Hilton’s case, several hundred treatment sessions will be required to obtain full remission. Due to the expected long and arduous recovery period, it is recommended that the public at large be recruited to administer treatments.
Notice how even NOW, she turns her face toward the window of the car so the photographers can get a good shot of her grief. A normal person would put her head down or try to cover her face. She’ll spend the next ten years milking this thing.
all i have to say is this bitch is a dumb stupid slut. Springbreak!!! Have fun in jail Paris!!! Haha……
Not once did wwjd spell the word “jealous” correctly. Paris’s fans are just as useless as she is.
But at least Paris is a cum dumpster, which has some untility… somewhat.
Kevin Kunreuther shut up and never post again, that was stupid’er than Paris Hitlon.
Look, it’s really, really simple.
Drunk driving is NOT a little crime. People get killed- sometimes the drivers, sometimes innocent people who just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Licenses are required for cars for a reason. They are big, fast, heavy lumps of metal that can crush skulls and tear muscle. They should only be used by people who can behave responsibly, sensibly, and be considerate of other people.
Paris Hilton didn’t just make 1 mistake. She got caught, got let off, and flouted the law.
I hope that in jail she meets lots of women who’ve had to struggle through life, separated from their loved ones for years at a time, who weren’t given the opportunity of an easy way out. I hope she learns and grows up. She’s older than me, and I stopped acting like her when I was six.
Interesting, she looks like fellow jailbird Martha Stewart in these shots…
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA
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bitch!
the only thing that would be
better than thiz bitch ordered
back to jail..
would be: our troopz refuzing
to fight, zo that the war would
end and they could get back home..
365 comments against Paris -great – but how many of you have voted once or even twice for Bush???
Greetings from Europe
it’s only 45 days, you stupid rich bitch. just stay there. medical condition my ass, you’re just afraid that someone is gonna beat the shit out of your spoiled brat ass, and i say- KUDOS TO THE ONE WHO DOES IT!
Im gussing everyone knows the situation Paris is going through she is just a person like everyone else and does things like anyone of us would do BUT yeah she needs to serve her time or just pay off the Ticket or something cuase like other poeple say if it were us the law would go all hard on us soParis justbe calm and ake it like u should ok dont be all butt hurt by wat plp say..
thanks for your post!!!!!!!