Paris Hilton & children’s toys: How can you lose?

May 6th, 2008 // 83 Comments

Paris Hilton’s personal touch will be seen on the new line of the the popular German fashion doll “Steffi Love.” Jesus, who the hell would buy their kid a doll designed by Paris Hilton? Isn’t that technically child abuse? I’d rather give my kid crack and his own spoon to cook it with. You know, at least give him a chance at life. But a Paris Hilton doll? Now the Germans have gone too far. Though I got to hand it to them for finally doing something that makes the Holocaust look freaking adorable in comparison.

Photos: Flynet
superficial

  1. kat

    it’s actually a dildo.

  2. 4354

    first???

  3. Texas Tranny

    Oh boy this is just great…………….

  4. Wendy

    ?s????no ??u u??s?p o? ??? ??q?p?o??? u? s?? qo??? ????u??

  5. democrats suck

    shouldn’t it have a cock in it’s mouth?

  6. She needs to stop. Why do people buy this crap?
    http://www.wannasmile.com

  7. gossipmonger

    The doll looks more attractive than her… And whats with the “One Night In Paris” -looking photo of her on the box?

  8. tight lipped smiler

    Where’s the child pornographer lurking in the shadows with the video camera?

  9. Ted Mosby

    Does it give herpes?

  10. j

    no underware… Crabs visable

  11. kat

    #9 – the herpes has already been installed in the vaginal region. the cream is an accessory that is containd in the purse.

  12. poonmoon

    Whatever that looks nothing like her, the face, the hair color, it’s all wrong and WHERE are all her herpes sores??? Also if the doll is to be current looking shouldn’t it have one giant hideous herpes sore shaped like a young Boy Geroge clone on it’s plastic nether region. I hope these dolls come with birth control pills and condoms for the generation of UBER sluts that Hollywood is creating.

  13. kat

    read the post, poonmoon….it’s designed by her. meaning the clothes.

  14. Randal

    GENIUS! There will now be a whole slew of gifts going out this year that little girls will open only to become delighted by a “Steffi Love” doll. Not only will they want to dress like Paris but they’ll also want to be Paris.

    She’s the McDonalds of the celebrity industry, always there but never good for you.

    Randal

  15. KFC

    Germans don’t care, they freeze their infants in the freezers and murder their families. They’re making HItler proud.

  16. snarkydave

    the answer to the question”How can you lose?” in the headline is….you can only lose if Paris licks the dolls and they aren’t actually painted by the Chinese.

  17. Harry Ballzack

    Is that doll suppossed to look like her ?

  18. poonmoon

    #13. Sorry I do not read anything regarding this vermin whore, I glance at the main picture BEFORE my retina explodes and I vomit out my organs and then I proceed to judge her as the half witted worthless slutbag she is. But I understand what you are saying, it is not supposed to look like her, it’s just some ugly doll her people designed that she slapped her deamon slut name onto. Ahhh marketing.

    I just hope this is a test for parents out there so that they can crack down on child abuse, as in if you purchase one of these hellfire dolls children’s protective services will take your kids away.

  19. dude_on_a_wire

    Finally a dignified path to whoredom for young girls to follow. I’m guessing this is only the beginning – eventually she will open a whore college for advanced learning.

  20. meanmofo

    Yeah….this is a …umm…..good idea..?

  21. BunnyButt

    5, I was wondering if it was anatomically correct – with a cock tucked away between the legs.

  22. Jacob

    As I type this, I have one of those dolls up my ass. Texas Tranny, you’ll love it – check out the size of the head!

  23. Guy

    Well the holocaust never actually happened, so….

  24. TO KFC

    I am sure the americans will love that doll, just like anything thats pink, glittery , brainless and made of plastic. At least a doll can`t resist being forced to be democratized…

  25. Nisi

    The doll looks retarded. Hence, just like her.

  26. TG

    Umm.. did anyone notice that one of her eyes is brown?

  27. Veroonica

    I wonder if the doll gets flair-ups?

  28. Barack

    FUCK!

    I just lost another fucking primary. Tons of money, a fawning media, witless voters…why the fuck can’t I close this thing?! I’m getting so frustrated…I just…I just feel like…screaming…GOD DAMN AMERICA!

  29. jannie

    When Paris tries (and fails) to be sweet and such, she acts and dresses like a 5 year old girl, and makes ridiculous and childish faces. Couldn’t they use at least one of those pictures instead of that one, she looks like she’s a porn star. A cheap one, btw.

  30. newlysingle girl(fuck)

    STUPID SPOILED WHORE VIDEO PLAYSET!
    Mommy, i want one.

  31. poonmoon

    LOL #19. Will it be called WHOREVARD?

  32. BunnyButt

    I was just thinking that this could be slightly cool if it vibrated …

  33. “she looks like she’s a porn star. A cheap one, btw.”

    Yes. Definitely not like one of those expensive ones.

  34. From the makers of the Paris Hilton doll...

    “Announcing the Kim Kardashian doll! Not a doll that pees – YOU pee on it! Includes a bikini bottom that also functions as a tent. (Titanium girdle sold separately.)”

  35. norton

    Does every doll come with a lifetime script for Valtrex?

  36. Auntie Kryst

    “Jesus, who the hell would buy their kid a doll designed by Paris Hilton?”

    Answer: Germans..

  37. Kathie Lee Givehard

    Its not just a doll it’s actually a home pregnancy test for the generation of junior sluts Paris is moulding. All you do is pee on it and if you’re pregnant it says “you’re fat” and if your not pregnant it says “that’s hot”.

    “Hey kids it’s Steffi Love, your own personal media whore, put her under water and watch the herpes sores magically appear. Dress her up in tube tops and crotchless panties for a night out on the town or help Steffi snort 10G’s of premium hollywood crack. Your child will LOVE playing with Steffi Love.”

    *Prison and jailhouse uniform sold seperately.

    Stefi Love inc and Paris Hilton sluts ltd. not liable for the slutification and diseasifying of your daughters.

  38. Justin Case

    I’ve had a Paris Hilton doll for a long time…oh, not that kind of doll. Sorry.

  39. Kim Lard-ass-ian

    God its boss eyed like her – freakishly ugly.
    I’d rather have a cottage cheese ass anyday than be orange and boss eyed.

  40. Kim Lard-ass-ian

    God its boss eyed like her – freakishly ugly.
    I’d rather have a cottage cheese ass anyday than be orange and boss eyed.

  41. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

  42. You don’t cook crack with a spoon, DUH!!

  43. ???? s? ?x?? sp??????q ?d?? u?? no? ???? ?

  44. Jamie's Uterus

    #34..you beat me to the pee joke!

    I wonder if Paris uses lube when she shoves this thing up her twat?

  45. Proud Mom

    Any parent that has a daughter that wants a Paris doll has failed big time as a parent.

  46. cavy

    That doll looks nothing like Paris – why didn’t she have Jason Wu of Fashion Royalty and Gene dolls make a likeness of her instead? I love fashion dolls and if I had her bankroll, I’d make sure my doll was the BEST!!!!

  47. Terrance M.

    The doll looks like its been out in the sun a bit too long. White people and the sun just do not mix well. She better watch out before she starts to look like these burnt whiteys. Sun Burnt Models

  48. Terrance M

    For some reason it stripped the link to the burnt speedo models I thought would be funny to see. Oh Well. The link is on ThingsWhitePeopleHate .com if anyone wanted to check it out. Last time I try sharing on this board :P

  49. no name

    Where’s Tinkerbell???!!!

  50. smashboogie

    How come the doll does not have one wonkeye?

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