Paris Hilton needs more crustaceans. Why not?

October 19th, 2009 // 32 Comments

In spite of all logic and reason, Paris Hilton managed to land a cameo in the Will Ferrell comedy The Other Guys and took the opportunity to prove why most producers would rather give themselves a vasectomy with a Hot Wheels car before casting her. Page Six reports:

A source reports, “Paris has a cameo role in the movie, where she plays herself. It is all being kept very hush-hush.
“But the producers were shocked when her team handed them a three-page list of demands — including live lobsters to be prepared fresh when she’s ready to eat and a bottle of Grey Goose vodka — all for just one day on the set.
“All celebrities are typically offered riders, but it seemed excessive for just one day’s work playing herself. She was due to fly to New York to film in secret last week.”

So these people hired Paris Hilton and expected her to show up on set and be the consummate professional? Interesting. Was Corky from Life Goes On handling the casting that day? Because I don’t know how else you could expect this to go any other way. Although, frankly, I’m surprised the most outrageous demand was fresh lobsters and not a trailer full of Valtrex and baby seal burgers.

superficial

  1. Corky is WAY too intelligent to cast her in anything other than a televised execution with her playing the starring role.

  2. ishi-san

    Did she have another nosejob done? Her nose looks different!

  3. Amber

    She’s played herself in almost everything she’s ever done, do you think it’s because she doesn’t how to be anything other than a stuck up, spoiled rich, table dancing, “that’s hot”, “omg look at me!” bitch? I think so.

    I’m sorry, that wasn’t very nice. I just don’t care for people who think they are better than everyone because they were born with a silver spoon in thier mouth.

  4. Alexis Milbourn

    Really…!?! A out of left field jab at people with disabilities! I love your site, your satirical style is unmatched on other celeb sites. It is always clever, to the point and down right truthful. Maybe it’s because I have a younger brother with Down’s Syndrome that I take personal offense to your comment. It’s not that I can’t laugh with it, it’s that it came out of nowhere. Why bring yourself down to a low standard and make fun of people who have disabilities but are trying. Especially when you’re writing about Paris Hilton. I would hope that there are other ways to bring her down a notch. Come on….step up your game.

  5. LordAtama

    What did she grow boobs?

  6. Crabby Old Guy

    Oh boy – another Will Farrell “comedy” – the 21st Century’s answer to Chevy Chase. Not funny. Never was. Never will be. Hiring Paris is the cherry on that hot fudge sundae of yet another crappy movie.

  7. Yeah, because Paris Hilton is in such high demand that she can demand crazy shit like live lobsters…wtf?

  8. Tanzarian

    A Will Ferrell movie — with Paris Hilton cameo as herself. Who are the ad wizards that came up with that one.

  9. PDS

    The Hot Wheels vasectomy metaphor and the “Corky” comment are further proof that The Superficial is the most amusing and intelligent gossip site on the net. (And for the person who was offended by the writer’s Corky remark, he wasn’t making fun of mentally disabled-retarded people (or whatever the politically correct term du jour is these days), he was making a comparison between casting directors and a FICTION TV character.

  10. Stupid Spoiled Whore

    There’s a reason the guys at South Park nicknamed a character “Stupid Spoiled Whore”, which was modeled after her. Arrogant, self centered, braindead & slutty. Anyone like Paris who is so self involved to think that they’re so important that they deserve to be treated like a princess should be shot in the head. I volunteer to off paris…

  11. Danklin24

    Its being kept very hush hush.

    Haha okay, cause its not like anyone actually gives a fuck and paps only go where Paris tells them she’s going. Idiots.

  12. Eirin

    I think she looks pregnant.

  13. Wonky McValtrex

    What’s the matter; did wonky’s crotch crustaceans run out of playmates & want to make new friends?

    Figures Wonky McValtrex would throw a diva hissy fit. She’s a worthless human being and should simply be ignored. Ultimately, people ignoring her will be the thing that makes her go away.

  14. I’m amazed that anyone actually wants her in their movies. I’m even more astonished that her no-talent ass has a ‘list of demands’.

  15. Randal(l)

    I’m still not quite sure why she’s famous. She’s not exceptionally attractive, she’s not a ratings magnet, and she has no discernible talent. (sucking cock on film doesn’t count, even if it did, she didn’t do a particularly great job at it, I mean I could give a better B.J…. Shit, I mean I would never do that that…or even think about doing that…even if it involved skin toned pubes…cuz I loves me some..uh..whats it called?…uh…Vagina.)

    Randal…Shit, I mean Randal(l)

  16. Surrealcirce

    I think Paris is on the wane these days, so much so that if the trend continues, there should be absolutely no coverage of her life what-so-ever within the next few years. She will be completely gone!!! Can you imagine what that’ll do to her? She’ll get out of cars or walk out of clubs doing her usual little pouts and poses in all her little “never worn twice” outfits and there won’t be any paps snapping her picture . . . She’ll never live through it.

    PS: I thought she was such a big animal lover why is she cooking live lobsters? It’s not like they will add any valuble nutrients to her body (either she won’t eat more than a mouthful or they’ll end up in the toilet) so it’s not like they can even remotely be considered dying for a purpose. God, I hate celebrities who try to pretend they actually have more than one dimention.

  17. Is she even still relevant these days?

  18. heather

    barf… I think you can judge by the length of comments these days that the superficial is officially on par with supermarket tabloids. No one comes here for jokes anymore… they come to actually debate about paris hilton’s life. it really is sad. the fish used to be funny!!!!

  19. Catalyste

    Hey, Corky was a hero! Don’t compare a stand up guy like him to autobiographical picturebook brat with a droopy left eye.

  20. A friend worked on Paris’ first music video and said she stayed in her trailer long past the time they were supposed to start filming and eventually came out ridiculously stoned and reeking of pot. I think this sounds too extravagant to be true, but I wouldn’t put it past her to ask for copious amounts of junk food :)

  21. Nameless

    Lobsters?!? WTH! I hear she brings her own crabs. She don’t need lobsters.

  22. O'Roughly factor

    So, she treats everything like a club grand opening! maybe thats how she cope…everything is moving so fast…

  23. Kelley

    These shoes on these legs and a Size 10 foot are bloody hideous.

  24. EricLR

    Yeah, Will Ferrell used to be funny, but the schtick got old after a while. Now he drags movies down more than helps (the post-early-80′s Chevy Chase analogy is apt). His cameos on “Eastbound and Down” were just painful to watch (the only downside to an otherwise hilarious series). There are only so many times you can play the same role and do the same jokes before it gets old.

    This isn’t his first movie with Paris, incidentally. She played herself in Zoolander too (though she didn’t have nearly as skanky a rep back then).

  25. grobpilot

    Hey, #3: It wasn’t a silver spoon in her mouth that she was born with….

  26. Darth

    She’ll be only with ‘good’ mouthshot poses getting posted here.

  27. Rhialto

    I’m not wild about it but the mouthshots are just acceptable this time.

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  29. are just acceptable this time.

  30. my sister loves paris :/

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