Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie to counsel fat kids

March 16th, 2007 // 89 Comments
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A rep for E! has confirmed that Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton are going to be counseling overweight campers on the new season of The Simple Life.

“They are going to be camp counselors at one camp in the Southern California Mountains,” says an E! spokesperson. “The camp has five different themes. Each week will be a different theme. And yes, one week is a weight loss/fitness camp. It’s not a fat camp.”

Because, really, who better to guide the fate of fat children than Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. They’re gonna spend the whole time pointing and laughing and going, “Jesus, they’re so fat!” And then Nicole Richie will say, “Oh my God, Paris, they can hear you.” And then they’ll laugh some more and Paris will laugh so hard she’ll let out a little fart. And maybe a little poo will come out. Just a little. Because she’s classy.

superficial

  1. Schnuggie

    I don’t get it. What do these two fat asses know about dieting???

  2. Kate

    What’s the problem with these two counseling overweight people? I mean, they’re OBVIOUSLY super healthy themselves, what with the DUIs, drug use, STDs, and eating disorders…okay, I see the problem now. Good choice, E! Network.

  3. ponk

    like fat kids don’t already have enough problems…. jeeeeeezuz.

  4. rrd

    They are going to teach them how to puke!
    Ok…take this finger…no, no THIS finger…yea. Now stick it way down, no, wait! lean over. yes, like that. Wait. want another doughnut first?

  5. Donkey

    and people (sheeple) will still watch it.

  6. Donkey

    look it’s Paris Hilton and her midget twin.

  7. stevob2006

    So

  8. I can’t wait to see the kids faces when Paris starts talking about one of the hazards of being skinny and pretty is getting ‘itchy’ down there.

  9. Superevil

    I hope they get eaten.

  10. freak_show

    They will sit around for the entire episode saying “Like, don’t eat so much because I don’t and I look like this (picture Paris w/ her little coy curtsy).” Nicole will say, “Yeah, and learn how to throw up, that’s what I do.” Then, they will all have the fat people skip out on the town wearing their clothing (or trying to do so). They’ll all go to the local 7-11 where Paris and Nicole have the pigs buy all the Ben and Jerry’s. They’ll go back to camp, wash it all down w/ Kool-aid and Oreos and then they will all puke and take laxatives together!

    No, wait, that’s what my friends all do.

  11. The only person that they should council is the first person they see when they look in the mirror. I mean honestly how could the two dumbest people in the world teach you something about your self????????

    hollywoodheadache.com

  12. mrs.t

    It will be exactly like the episode of The Simple Life when they worked on that farm with the cows. Nicole will agree to be the one who has to, like, touch the fat people then she will chase Paris with her contaminated hand while Paris screams “Eeeeewwwwww, you bitch!”

    Those are some kind of lucky fat kids.

  13. Lowlands

    Looking at these girls the fat kids will get hungry and run to the nearest Burgerking.

  14. schack

    #9…hysterical

  15. schack

    i bet you’re turkish, lowlands.

  16. Lowlands

    Paris Hilton can show them her video and explain them how to exercise to get the fat burned away.

  17. Donkey

    Why don’t they put these two in a room together with a story line something like the first “Saw” movie.
    Now that’s a reality show I could watch!

  18. schack

    i mean, in the end, none of it matters. but in the meantime, a show like this is really nauseatingly cruel.

  19. Lowlands

    #15)Allright i’ll take your bet.How much do we bet?

  20. schack

    how are we gonna settle the bet? you’ll just lie to me

  21. Lowlands

    I’ll send you a lousy webcampic as a proof.

  22. mrs.t

    #16-Dude, exercise had nothing to do with Paris’ performance in that video.

    She is, literally, a lazy fuck.

  23. TJH

    Big deal. You know what they say about fat girls: find a fold and fuck it!

  24. herb3

    Paris has no feet.

  25. mrs.t

    #23- I thought it was “Roll them in flour and look for the wet spot.”

  26. ponk

    those camp kids will eat these two alive…literally.

  27. ponk

    and look, there’s Danielle bottom pic, far left.

  28. Lowlands

    #25)I’m wondering wat mr.T would say about this.

  29. schack

    i don’t want a web cam of you. gross.

  30. Lowlands

    The good news for Nicole Ritchie is she doesn’t need this flourbath.There ain’t any wet spot anyway.

  31. mrs.t

    He would pity the fool who coined the phrase. Then he would thank god that his wife is stunningly gorgeous, slimly athletic, and perfect in every way.

    Finally, he would kill you for talking to me, throw your body on the back of the van, and leave you in a shallow grave behind the salvage yard. What do you want? He’s Mr. Motherfucking T.

  32. Lobo

    Any ideas/guesses as to the themes for the remaining four weeks?

  33. NicotineEyePatch

    They’ll sneak in junk food and sell it to the kids at a 200% markup, like Cartman did on South Park. And then hopefully one of them will discover the deception and beat the living shit out of both of them on camera.

  34. connie2331

    2 stupid little bitches. paris is such a good roll model for anyone. i would not bang either one with a rent a dick let alone my own.

  35. danielle

    Look there’s Ponk in drag. The ugly redhead.

  36. woodhorse

    If Paris will teach them to pole dance, I will actually watch TV.

  37. I can just hear it now….

    Nichole will walk up to them and say “Um, I got three words for you, METH METH METH”

  38. PunjabPete

    Please god, let one of the mammoths kill Paris… Please god, let one of the mammoths kill Paris… Please god……

  39. elizabeththewellread

    I’m betting that Paris Hilton will get picked up and cracked in half over somebody’s knee. Everyone with any sense hates her except as an object of ridicule, but some 400 lb. fighting bitch WILL have it out with her. Let’s watch.

  40. iamsosmrt

    Dear America,

    You gave the world Paris Hilton. This means WAR!

    P.S. You

  41. luvinit

    I hope when they “counsel” the fat kids one will have a break through and hug them, and they will be consumed by one of the rolls and never be heard from again until the fat kid decides to loose weight and two skeletons wrapped in pink clothes, monster sunglasses and starbucks cups fall out of the kid.

  42. BarbadoSlim

    The only Simple Life I wanna see is the one time special were they each drink a gallon 92 octane and then they try to smoke cigarettes.

    A very special final episode on the dangers of smoking.

  43. RichPort

    Anyone else think it’s uber gay for these anorexic semen recepticles to wear matching, clothes. It looks like Richie borrowed Hilton’s shorts. Fuck, that’s nasty, …

    15., 19. Dutch, as in “lowlands of Holland”. Euros would be fine, the dollar exchange is pretty good now.

    Oh, and RPLTC like a dog with a bully stick! Where is that gay fucker, anyway?

  44. WTFiswrongwithUppl

    41–Pure. Fucking. Comedic. GOLD!!!

  45. 40. Lean and mean, baby! And if you’re going to declare war, you should probably practice your two-handed salute, “cheese-eating surrender monkey”, …

  46. iamsosmrt

    RichPort,
    I have read many of your comments and you are hilarious. I’m just joking around. Because I am in fantastic shape I’m lover not a fighter. I think the stupidest people in the world are the one’s who actually think of a America as a giant group they can make generalizations about and I was wondering if I would get some comments of people agreeing.

    Anyhow, if the entire world joined together to kill Paris Hilton and the festering wart she named Nicole maybe then, we would finally have world peace.

  47. danielle

    Sooooo, all of your kids will be attending right Ponk?

  48. imran karim

    richie looks good there

  49. katlady12

    Since when did nicole start to look like a blonde, white chick? shes looks like paris more and more.

  50. okiedoke

    #18 – totally agree.

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