Brandon Davis has reportedly been living in Paris Hilton’s Hollywood Hills home since getting out of rehab in July, which he checked into after the “fire crotch” video went public.
“His family is selling their home, so Brandon’s been shacking up with Paris at her place off the Sunset Strip,” an “insider” tells L&S. “All his clothes, his toiletries and even some of the artwork he owns.” But the arrangement is reportedly more than temporary. Says the source: “They’re hooking up, but she doesn’t want anyone to know about it. It’s being kept very hush-hush.”
So the supposed gazillionaire can’t even afford a hotel and has resorted to handing out sexual favors for a place to stay. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Although the real reason I posted this story was so I could share that above shot of Paris Hilton debuting her album in a Tokyo store. It’s a scientific fact that when you pretend to stop having sex your face puffs up and your cheeks start to melt. And your skin turns to wax.
Haroof | August 23, 2006 at 3:01 pm
First?
Grope For Luna | August 23, 2006 at 3:02 pm
Maybe second. What a pic. Looks like she’s about 35.
bigponie | August 23, 2006 at 3:05 pm
the picture is not complete, where are the cum drops from her mouth
sucramus | August 23, 2006 at 3:06 pm
Lazy eye or glass eye?
10pennypixel.com | August 23, 2006 at 3:07 pm
I hate Paris Hilton.
I hate Paris Hilton.
I hate Paris Hilton.
x 1,000,000
http://www.10pennypixel.com
Equalparts | August 23, 2006 at 3:08 pm
Guess he’s going to find out what “Firecrotch” is REALLY all about now.
ImSuicidal | August 23, 2006 at 3:09 pm
Is that the Madame Tussaud’s waxed Paris??
She looks doughy like Brandon Davis himself.
http://thesuperficial.com/2006/08/brandon_davis_is_living_in_the.html
dupababy | August 23, 2006 at 3:09 pm
so my super-ex greaseball shacks up at big momma’s house.. shit all we need now is a roll of duct tape and martin lawrence and it’s a screen play..the real paris hilton is at stingybitches.com…and she don’t have no beer-bloated face like the paris above..
http://www.stingybitches.com/Stingy%20kitties%202.html
bigponie | August 23, 2006 at 3:13 pm
Paris: hehehe, my pussy is all tingly inside hehehe
vainandlovingit | August 23, 2006 at 3:23 pm
ugh thats a BAD photo of her…fucking hideous. Hooray for skanks!
Bioplant | August 23, 2006 at 3:25 pm
Mel Gibstein enjoys her sugar nipples.
CelebSlam.com | August 23, 2006 at 3:26 pm
He must have herpes by now
http://www.celebslam.com
nc72 | August 23, 2006 at 3:33 pm
She supposedly hacked Lindsay’s phone too. Or maybe just a marketing ploy. Or Lindsay had some creative ways to make it look like…
http://www.exposay.com/paris-hilton-hacked-lindsay-lohans-mobile-phone/v/3848/
RenoScarab | August 23, 2006 at 3:37 pm
She looks like a cross between Jack Nicholson in ‘The Shining’ and one of the members of the lollipop guild. That is some frightening shit!
Bioplant | August 23, 2006 at 3:42 pm
She can sign, she can act, she can dance.
She is a triple threat!
RenoScarab | August 23, 2006 at 3:43 pm
Also, I am pretty sure that the picture on the CD label is the only picture of Paris with her legs spread WHILE she has clothes on.
I hate myself so bad because I know if it came right down to it I would hit that shit like there was no tomorrow…which there wouldn’t be, because my winky would fall off.
biatcho | August 23, 2006 at 3:47 pm
she’s got the neck of a widereceiver in that picture. Must be the inevitable throat stretch from all the pole sucking.
I can smell the vag cheese just oozing from her album cover, it’s like scratch n sniff stcikers except not nearly as fun as they were in grade school.
jane's eyre | August 23, 2006 at 3:49 pm
HA! I find it very amusing that celebrities can always rely on those wacky Japanese to welcome them with open arms, no matter how crazy (Tom Cruise), perverted (Jacko), and now, talentless, microcosm of Slutty McSlutterson that is Paris Hilton, they happen to be.
Now I suppose someone will tell me that Japan invented civilization.
sometimesboy | August 23, 2006 at 3:50 pm
paris – “hey, gorgeous, is this your herpecin or my herpecin?”
brandon – “it’s mine, but you can use it. hey, are you gonna blow that guy in the living room?”
paris – “thanks. no, that’s all you, i blew the last one.”
brandon / paris (in unison) -”that’s hot…jinx, buy me a coke…”
jane's eyre | August 23, 2006 at 3:52 pm
Thee looksth spethcial in that picture.
ImSuicidal | August 23, 2006 at 3:58 pm
18- Not so much inventing civilization.
They did however, invent the kamikaze!
http://www.drinkoftheweek.com/archive/k/kamikaze.htm
Jake | August 23, 2006 at 3:58 pm
I looked up abstinence and guess what, there’s no second definition stating “accidentally falls on a dick.” Lindsay may be called a firecrotch, but I trust Brandon will know who the real firecrotch is in a few days.
http://wampoon.com/
Dory | August 23, 2006 at 4:07 pm
Gross girl
chubbs | August 23, 2006 at 4:10 pm
# 4
she has I G G H eyes…aka i give great head
by the way is Paris now # 1 news on here? was the real fire crotch de-throned?
jane's eyre | August 23, 2006 at 4:24 pm
I feel sorry for the photographer who took that picture of Paris for her CD. That was the moment right before an angry, ravenous horde of assorted STD’s came like a wave of fish-scented death out from behind the veiled cavern of Paris’ cootch to envelop him in a squelching, suffocating embrace.
BarbadoSlim | August 23, 2006 at 4:25 pm
Take a good look at that picture folks, it’s a sign of things to come. She’s gonna look just like Betty Davis (sorry Betty) when she played the crazy sister on that movie with Joan Crawford.
Only difference is she’ll be all greasy and smell like rotten poosey and old Brandon Davis stank.
ImSuicidal | August 23, 2006 at 4:26 pm
Watching Paris Hilton do anything is like watching old people engage in anal sex, slightly amusing, but that awful smell of ‘Fent’ afterwards is completely repulsive.
Fent: The odor that occurs when old people engage in anal sex.
——–used in dialogue———
“Doesn’t this pate smell a little like fent to you?”
**sniffs** “Why, as a matter of fact it does.”
“That is what I thought, please take it away from me, and bring me back some Grey Poupon.”
“How would you like to fuck me in the ass?”
“No thanks, I all ready own a penquin.”
RichPort | August 23, 2006 at 4:41 pm
She only slept with him twice.
LL | August 23, 2006 at 4:50 pm
Those two must look great in the morning. Yikes. And I can’t imagine that bunking at Paris’s crib is the best way to convince a person to stay off the smack, but whatever. They deserve each other. They should get married and have tons of really odd-looking, greasy children who go around and make fun of people for not having enough money to support a small country.
The Juice | August 23, 2006 at 4:52 pm
NEWS FLASH!!! Long lost Hilton sibling has finally been located:
http://dreaminaway.net/gonzo/
lisad71 | August 23, 2006 at 5:53 pm
What’s up with the double chin? She looks like someone rammed her CD up her ass sideways.
pookiedoo | August 23, 2006 at 6:13 pm
I pray to god that Paris Hilton is sterile. For the good of humanity, please let her be sterile.
Money Magnet | August 23, 2006 at 6:33 pm
Not the best angle I agree. However, why does everyone keep hating on her? She is definitley NOT ugly. If anyone has seen her infamous video you would notice how inexperienced and naive she REALLY is. Poor Paris-I like her. She just wants to be loved!
samanta | August 23, 2006 at 7:23 pm
Her glands are swollen. That happens when you binge and purge. Hmmmm…
MacMac | August 23, 2006 at 7:27 pm
Hard to say which are further apart…her legs or her pupils.
Lala | August 23, 2006 at 7:34 pm
If you could hear her laugh in that photo, it would be like the braying of a donkey.
thesarahficial | August 23, 2006 at 7:35 pm
she gave up sex eh? Is that why she has Brandon Davis staying with her and “hooking up” with her? Eh, eh? dutty whowe she gave up sex eh? Is that why she has Brandon Davis staying with her and “hooking up” with her? Eh, eh? dutty whowe
Uhn Tiss Baby | August 23, 2006 at 7:52 pm
Who cares, we all know she sleeps with everybody anyway. But the album she’s holding rocks! :D
Uhn Tiss Baby | August 23, 2006 at 7:53 pm
For the low-down on Paris, go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1DihgXWbxc when YouTube is up again (it’s down at the time of writing).
missaddicted | August 23, 2006 at 11:23 pm
It’s funny cause when she ain’t got her legs spread she’s holding a picture of them spread anywho! And is that a CD she is holding in her hand because it doesn’t have a hole in the middle, which a CD kinda needs so that it can spin and play. But.. oh.. wait was she too dumb to think of that? Or she doesn’t like to leave any hole unplugged?
missaddicted | August 23, 2006 at 11:28 pm
It’s funny cause when she ain’t got her legs spread she’s holding a picture of them spread anywho! And is that a CD she is holding in her hand because it doesn’t have a hole in the middle, which a CD kinda needs so that it can spin and play. But.. oh.. wait was she too dumb to think of that? Or she doesn’t like to leave any hole unplugged?
missaddicted | August 23, 2006 at 11:34 pm
My bad for posting twice sorry people. And to the chick #38 that actually bought that record, I’m seriously laughing tears at you right now, only because I said I would =)
MyWellRehearsedMistake | August 24, 2006 at 1:29 am
… and for those of you revolted by the idea of paris singing – they are putting her bed up for auction! Disgusting, that’s a danger to public health letting all those STDs loose.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14153953/
Oh, of course, sorry I forgot she’s only slept with two people and has given up sex for a year – such a good girl. What was I thinking? I must be a jealous hater or something.
Uhn Tiss Baby | August 24, 2006 at 2:52 am
Why do people on this site always assume that I am a girl? Have I said I am? And I never said I bought her record, I said I liked it. I download music. Paris and her record company don’t need any more money than they already have, I do :D.
ChickenScratch | August 24, 2006 at 4:36 am
What a horrible picture.
This firecrotch guy is a complete dork. He’s the guy you see in the old 80′s movies that gets shoved into the locker at school.
missaddicted | August 24, 2006 at 4:37 am
#44 Uhn Tiss Baby – Sorry dude, my bad, I guess I thought you just write like a girl or that no guy would ever actually admit to liking SlutHo’s music. I can’t REALLY talk because I haven’t listened to her album (and I will continue avoiding it for the sake of my ears), but I have heard her “stars are blind” single on the radio (it took my ears a day to recover), which can’t even be classified as music. I’m sorry man, I know it’s each to his own, and good on you for sticking to your guns, at the very least thankyou for downloading it (illegally I hope) =)=)=)
Peace out
daveeech81 | August 24, 2006 at 5:50 am
thanks for the close up…i now have V.D.
RichPort | August 24, 2006 at 6:44 am
#29 – The Plastic Surgeons Association agrees with you. Much the way funeral directors salivate every time they hear tires screech, this group is hoping those two hook and have fabulously horrible looking children, you know, like the Trumps.
jrzmommy | August 24, 2006 at 7:06 am
Her eyes are like Sandy Duncan’s. But anyway….
I wonder if he can stand the true test — the dreaded Which Outfit Looks Better On Me test. Stay tuned….
HolisticWisdomcom | August 24, 2006 at 7:28 am
So will she now have a sex tape with Brandon yelling at the moment of climax, “I love you firecrotch”, and Paris running out of the room in humilation?
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/paris-hilton-sex-tape.htm