Paris Hilton and Brandon Davis live together

August 23rd, 2006 // 61 Comments
paris_hilton_japan.jpg

Brandon Davis has reportedly been living in Paris Hilton’s Hollywood Hills home since getting out of rehab in July, which he checked into after the “fire crotch” video went public.

“His family is selling their home, so Brandon’s been shacking up with Paris at her place off the Sunset Strip,” an “insider” tells L&S. “All his clothes, his toiletries and even some of the artwork he owns.” But the arrangement is reportedly more than temporary. Says the source: “They’re hooking up, but she doesn’t want anyone to know about it. It’s being kept very hush-hush.”

So the supposed gazillionaire can’t even afford a hotel and has resorted to handing out sexual favors for a place to stay. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Although the real reason I posted this story was so I could share that above shot of Paris Hilton debuting her album in a Tokyo store. It’s a scientific fact that when you pretend to stop having sex your face puffs up and your cheeks start to melt. And your skin turns to wax.

superficial

  1. nc72

    She supposedly hacked Lindsay’s phone too. Or maybe just a marketing ploy. Or Lindsay had some creative ways to make it look like…

    http://www.exposay.com/paris-hilton-hacked-lindsay-lohans-mobile-phone/v/3848/

  2. She looks like a cross between Jack Nicholson in ‘The Shining’ and one of the members of the lollipop guild. That is some frightening shit!

  3. Bioplant

    She can sign, she can act, she can dance.

    She is a triple threat!

  4. Also, I am pretty sure that the picture on the CD label is the only picture of Paris with her legs spread WHILE she has clothes on.

    I hate myself so bad because I know if it came right down to it I would hit that shit like there was no tomorrow…which there wouldn’t be, because my winky would fall off.

  5. biatcho

    she’s got the neck of a widereceiver in that picture. Must be the inevitable throat stretch from all the pole sucking.

    I can smell the vag cheese just oozing from her album cover, it’s like scratch n sniff stcikers except not nearly as fun as they were in grade school.

  6. jane's eyre

    HA! I find it very amusing that celebrities can always rely on those wacky Japanese to welcome them with open arms, no matter how crazy (Tom Cruise), perverted (Jacko), and now, talentless, microcosm of Slutty McSlutterson that is Paris Hilton, they happen to be.

    Now I suppose someone will tell me that Japan invented civilization.

  7. paris – “hey, gorgeous, is this your herpecin or my herpecin?”

    brandon – “it’s mine, but you can use it. hey, are you gonna blow that guy in the living room?”

    paris – “thanks. no, that’s all you, i blew the last one.”

    brandon / paris (in unison) -”that’s hot…jinx, buy me a coke…”

  8. jane's eyre

    Thee looksth spethcial in that picture.

  9. 18- Not so much inventing civilization.
    They did however, invent the kamikaze!

    http://www.drinkoftheweek.com/archive/k/kamikaze.htm

  10. Jake

    I looked up abstinence and guess what, there’s no second definition stating “accidentally falls on a dick.” Lindsay may be called a firecrotch, but I trust Brandon will know who the real firecrotch is in a few days.

    http://wampoon.com/

  11. Dory

    Gross girl

  12. chubbs

    # 4

    she has I G G H eyes…aka i give great head

    by the way is Paris now # 1 news on here? was the real fire crotch de-throned?

  13. jane's eyre

    I feel sorry for the photographer who took that picture of Paris for her CD. That was the moment right before an angry, ravenous horde of assorted STD’s came like a wave of fish-scented death out from behind the veiled cavern of Paris’ cootch to envelop him in a squelching, suffocating embrace.

  14. BarbadoSlim

    Take a good look at that picture folks, it’s a sign of things to come. She’s gonna look just like Betty Davis (sorry Betty) when she played the crazy sister on that movie with Joan Crawford.

    Only difference is she’ll be all greasy and smell like rotten poosey and old Brandon Davis stank.

  15. Watching Paris Hilton do anything is like watching old people engage in anal sex, slightly amusing, but that awful smell of ‘Fent’ afterwards is completely repulsive.

    Fent: The odor that occurs when old people engage in anal sex.

    ——–used in dialogue———

    “Doesn’t this pate smell a little like fent to you?”

    **sniffs** “Why, as a matter of fact it does.”

    “That is what I thought, please take it away from me, and bring me back some Grey Poupon.”

    “How would you like to fuck me in the ass?”

    “No thanks, I all ready own a penquin.”

  16. RichPort

    She only slept with him twice.

  17. LL

    Those two must look great in the morning. Yikes. And I can’t imagine that bunking at Paris’s crib is the best way to convince a person to stay off the smack, but whatever. They deserve each other. They should get married and have tons of really odd-looking, greasy children who go around and make fun of people for not having enough money to support a small country.

  18. The Juice

    NEWS FLASH!!! Long lost Hilton sibling has finally been located:
    http://dreaminaway.net/gonzo/

  19. lisad71

    What’s up with the double chin? She looks like someone rammed her CD up her ass sideways.

  20. pookiedoo

    I pray to god that Paris Hilton is sterile. For the good of humanity, please let her be sterile.

  21. Not the best angle I agree. However, why does everyone keep hating on her? She is definitley NOT ugly. If anyone has seen her infamous video you would notice how inexperienced and naive she REALLY is. Poor Paris-I like her. She just wants to be loved!

  22. samanta

    Her glands are swollen. That happens when you binge and purge. Hmmmm…

  23. MacMac

    Hard to say which are further apart…her legs or her pupils.

  24. If you could hear her laugh in that photo, it would be like the braying of a donkey.

  25. thesarahficial

    she gave up sex eh? Is that why she has Brandon Davis staying with her and “hooking up” with her? Eh, eh? dutty whowe she gave up sex eh? Is that why she has Brandon Davis staying with her and “hooking up” with her? Eh, eh? dutty whowe

  26. Uhn Tiss Baby

    Who cares, we all know she sleeps with everybody anyway. But the album she’s holding rocks! :D

  27. Uhn Tiss Baby

    For the low-down on Paris, go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1DihgXWbxc when YouTube is up again (it’s down at the time of writing).

  28. missaddicted

    It’s funny cause when she ain’t got her legs spread she’s holding a picture of them spread anywho! And is that a CD she is holding in her hand because it doesn’t have a hole in the middle, which a CD kinda needs so that it can spin and play. But.. oh.. wait was she too dumb to think of that? Or she doesn’t like to leave any hole unplugged?

  29. missaddicted

    It’s funny cause when she ain’t got her legs spread she’s holding a picture of them spread anywho! And is that a CD she is holding in her hand because it doesn’t have a hole in the middle, which a CD kinda needs so that it can spin and play. But.. oh.. wait was she too dumb to think of that? Or she doesn’t like to leave any hole unplugged?

  30. missaddicted

    My bad for posting twice sorry people. And to the chick #38 that actually bought that record, I’m seriously laughing tears at you right now, only because I said I would =)

  31. MyWellRehearsedMistake

    … and for those of you revolted by the idea of paris singing – they are putting her bed up for auction! Disgusting, that’s a danger to public health letting all those STDs loose.
    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14153953/

    Oh, of course, sorry I forgot she’s only slept with two people and has given up sex for a year – such a good girl. What was I thinking? I must be a jealous hater or something.

  32. Uhn Tiss Baby

    Why do people on this site always assume that I am a girl? Have I said I am? And I never said I bought her record, I said I liked it. I download music. Paris and her record company don’t need any more money than they already have, I do :D.

  33. ChickenScratch

    What a horrible picture.

    This firecrotch guy is a complete dork. He’s the guy you see in the old 80′s movies that gets shoved into the locker at school.

  34. missaddicted

    #44 Uhn Tiss Baby – Sorry dude, my bad, I guess I thought you just write like a girl or that no guy would ever actually admit to liking SlutHo’s music. I can’t REALLY talk because I haven’t listened to her album (and I will continue avoiding it for the sake of my ears), but I have heard her “stars are blind” single on the radio (it took my ears a day to recover), which can’t even be classified as music. I’m sorry man, I know it’s each to his own, and good on you for sticking to your guns, at the very least thankyou for downloading it (illegally I hope) =)=)=)

    Peace out

  35. daveeech81

    thanks for the close up…i now have V.D.

  36. RichPort

    #29 – The Plastic Surgeons Association agrees with you. Much the way funeral directors salivate every time they hear tires screech, this group is hoping those two hook and have fabulously horrible looking children, you know, like the Trumps.

  37. jrzmommy

    Her eyes are like Sandy Duncan’s. But anyway….
    I wonder if he can stand the true test — the dreaded Which Outfit Looks Better On Me test. Stay tuned….

  38. So will she now have a sex tape with Brandon yelling at the moment of climax, “I love you firecrotch”, and Paris running out of the room in humilation?

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com/paris-hilton-sex-tape.htm

  39. thr3eLibras

    TO THE EDITOR:
    on behalf of the intelligent people of the earth, i have to implore you to stop posting articles about Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan. Don’t you realise that if you stop feeding the fire- they have no other choice but to crawl back into thier mole hole (which as i understand it is hidden deep inside Bea Arthur’s cootch where no man dare go), and we will finally be free.
    Look, am i the only person who is absolutely sick of having to be subjected to these talentless skanks everywhere i turn?
    Dear, sweet editors- PLEASE- heed the words of your wise momma’s….
    If you ignore them, then they will go away.

  40. sirap

    #51 – I agree. It will be hard to ignore to totally them with their PR media machine, but every little bit counts.

    I feel bad even writing this now.

  41. thr3eLibras

    52- I know what you mean. A little part of me dies knowing that i am posting under that talentless rube’s photo… but heres the thing…

    You figure that there are at least 50 people visiting this site who apparently feel the same as us (see above) and im sure we arent alone- we just arent organized…

    If we all express our distain, and back it with action (ie, not visiting these sites…or even better, writing to their advertisers) eventually one by one the media machine that created these women will have to bury them as well.

    So folks do a little something for yourself and for the poor generation of little kids who have only these itomitons to look up to. Instead of knocking Paris for having hepres and being a no talent whore… when you post- demand the removal of her from your site (note- if the advertisers are gearing things to you the reader, and the editiors are trying to keep you around- it is YOUR site). Before long the idea will catch on who knows, maybe one day we can even get OUR old MTV back too.

  42. Jacq

    SINNERS!

    They’ve been reported.

  43. MyWellRehearsedMistake

    53. Do you need help down from that soapbox? I don’t get why you are getting so angry about this – sure, they are disgusting skanks with no friends, real jobs or lives that have any meaning. But that’s the fun of it all. Reading about how fucked up they are makes me very glad to be me. I just hate it when it’s a shit story like Hohan and her ever-changing bikini parade. Give me scandal.

    Why do you log on to a site like this if you don’t wanna read about dumb people like this doing or wearing dumb shit? Who would you rather read about instead?

  44. thr3eLibras

    55- re read my post. I am not on a soapbox. And i dont want to argue semantics with you- all i am saying is i’d rather see these types of articles about people- heck, anyone worth merit…
    I am saying we’d be alot happier in our little planet if we didnt have to hear about these 2 stooges.

    Look, we live in a society where any minute Tom Cruise could just up and eat a third world baby, unless Angelina Jolie saves it in time… there’s no reason to perpetuate the talentless whore juggernaut.

    These sites would be just as funny and we would live in a world where there are 17 stories a day about these two nimrods.

    Once again, sorry if my humoristic stylings (no matter how painfully true they are) went over your head.

  45. MyWellRehearsedMistake

    I understand your humouristic stylings – I get what you are saying. But you posted a plea on behalf of intelligent people of this world to the superfish – Where I live that’s called being on your soapbox – arguing your case. It wasn’t a criticism.

    I agree that the talentless whore juggernaut needs to be railroaded but I don’t see that you asking people here not to leave comments will work. Look how long we’ve tried to stop people saying ‘first’ and it never works. Did you see the post the other day where 200 people thought they were first?!

    I really don’t care that much what stories are on here but I personally would rather read posts on the Superfish about talentless whores being morons and people fucking up their lives, than talented people being successful. Call me Superficial if you want, that’s what this site is all about. When I want to read real news I go to a real news site or buy a newspaper.

  46. Thatshot

    Nice earrings Dorothy

  47. aimatcha

    Hee Haw.

  48. wow, shacking up with paris = many stds….

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