Paris Hilton and Benji Madden are perpetual idiots

March 11th, 2008 // 68 Comments

Paris Hilton and Benji Madden have spotted recently wearing rings to let each other know they’re taken. Paris is rocking a “BM” ring because I guess Benji’s her little Bowel Movement. I don’t see what else it could mean. And Benji’s wearing a “PH” ring because, obviously, his Penis Hurts. That’s pretty adorable but if any girl ever made me wear a ring with a secret message on it, it better be made of diamonds and read “OMGYWIH.” Which, for you slow listeners out there, clearly stands for “Senor Badass.”

Photos: Flynet, Pacific Coast News
superficial

  1. anon

    PENIS HURTS HAHA

  2. kati

    haha what idiots

  3. First (Maybe now my life will improve) Ript 1&0

    Oh, and by the way – Yes. It is 12:19, I am here in my apt. alone and I am on this site.

    I’m old, I’m high, I’m single and desperate and I’ll never have kids because no one wants to fuck me. There, you happy? For fuckssake man, it’s whatever you want to call it.

    Now that we’re past that…
    Does this chick actually have the last name Loose? Who the fuck is she? Ah well, no reason necessary for showing tits, I suppose.

  4. JaniBalto

    How does she talk ANY boy into doing anything with her? I realise Benji is retarded, but yikes! doesn’t he have people that are supposed to be looking out for him?

  5. Matthew

    again she is a stupid stupid whore and I don’t know how she got out of mr.slave’s ass

  6. Conscience_Found

    fish man:

    please add the graphics-intensive advertising from a few more sponsors. This way our computers can be rendered completely useless.

  7. that’s cute…I want a ring that says, “SF” for superficial!!!

    hawt…

  8. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    she’s really working it. I see a guest spot on Dora Explorer in her not-to-distant future.

  9. Poor Ript

    Damn girl I pity you. Try drinking. It’s really unhealthy but at least it numbs the pain – at least until you sober up. Don’t you have any relatives. Would moving back home to your parents work for you?
    You sound like someone that needs a friend or extensive psychotherapy.
    Why are you telling us this shit. Some of us come here for fun and do not needs to here this shit. (Never understand white folks airing out they dirty laundry in front of everybody and shit)

  10. Um……….. they’re public whores.

  11. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    @2 Dominic, are you fucking kidding me?

  12. Frank Lucas' Bitch

    That’s bottomline retarded. Doing crap like this should end in pre-school!
    And seriously though…we lose people like Freddie Mercury, Hendrix, and Ledger, and people like Paris, fucking emo-Good Charlotte, and Britney continue populating the earth and having more money than many of the hardest-working people and while there are kids in Africa dying from AIDS almost every second? Wow… there’s no God. There’s only Satan! And he’s laughing at us right now!
    *starts walking away towards the Church of Scientology (…that’s devil worship, right?*

  13. aeuwave

    i believe it is only a matter of time before a baby pops out of that herpes infected cooch.

  14. yaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    lol @ bowel movement & penis hurts

  15. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    ript, ignore the trolls. you’ve apparently pissed off mike or some other asshole that thinks this site is for hooking up.

  16. Fumus

    What does “OMGYWIH” mean?

    Oh
    My
    God
    Your
    With

    What the fuck does IH mean!?

  17. Auntie Kryst

    Someone help me out with pic 3. Are these brother douchefuckers heebs or micks? I’ll need this information for future racially charged comments, thanks.

  18. Sarah

    #17: I am assuming it means “Oh my god your wang is huge” because the fish guy likes lame jokes.

  19. morga

    ugh, has anyone actually thought that Good Charlotte was punk aside from pissy 12 year olds?

  20. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    18… apparently they think they are Jake & Elmore which makes them … black? i dunno.

  21. twzzlrgirl

    omg…penis hurts and little bowel movement.

    rotflmao….that’s the best fish post in a long time.

  22. big teeth

    Ahh fer christ sakes you had to show the photo of those two talentless fucks together, dressed up like the clown-shoe posers they are? Give it up you hacks.. nobody other than junior high kids believes that act anymore anyway..

  23. Good Charlotte is punk in the same world that Paris is a virgin…not this one.

  24. deadbitch

    Such an attention grabbing duo, totally pathetic. I’d like to see them both in a car crash that ends up Princess Diana style.

  25. RENEE

    This is such bullshit; I bet this is all some publicity stunt for a new show or something; possibly that lame ass Ashton Kutcher show thats in the works…where he punks the media & the public. Anyways, “PH” stands for Preparation H, or maybe Penis Herpes or something to that affect. Overall though, I’m just not even buying it that these 2 are together….then again, I don’t even care….baahhh, what the hell am I even doing on here then??? Does it mean I care? Noooooo. Okay, I’m just bored, so there. Thats better

  26. D. Richards (Surgeon.)

    A little something from me, to you:

    Joel and Benji Madden, yeah, they’re 5’5” tall.

    Killer clothes, boyees! Neckties — so ‘kewl!’

  27. fucker

    superficial writer’s ring should say OMGSHGD… oh my god superficial has gone downhill… seriously dude, where is the original writer? and if you are indeed the same writer from a year ago, did your witty remarks and smart commentary abandon you last year because you decided penis jokes were more in this season?

    as a loyal reader for several years i find this site has made the switch from actually covering celebrity news with clever quips to covering whatever will get site traffic and adding a few comments on how every woman with big tits wants to lick your balls and worship your dong.

    so sad. please direct me to a less commercial site with the classic superficial style jokes.

  28. Sparky

    Prick Hole = PH

  29. lula

    hah, my guess was “oh my god you wish it hurt.”

  30. dude

    HAR! Love the BM and PH joke.

    #28….fucker…hey douche, let’s see you make funnier comments. Seriously. It’s a challenge. If you shrink away from it, we’ll all know you’re pathetic. So go ahead, we’ll look for your hilarious commentary.

    Oh….you’re not funny? that’s what I thought.

  31. ADELIZA

    17-
    I think your a little bit off:
    Oh
    My
    God
    YES
    WHIP
    IT
    HARD

    :-)

  32. kaeley

    is this another joke for ashton kutcher’s new show? this has gone on long enough!!

  33. BENJI+PARIS=CDC MOST WANTED

    PH= PERPETUAL HERPES

    SAY HELLO TO A LIFETIME OF VALTREX !!!!!

  34. feg

    its another Kutcher fake story, you hose. look at the way he’s holding his hand to make the ring obvious. not even a douche bag like him really walks with his hand tilted like that. and I know Paris is always over the top, but give me a break when has she ever said a single thing publically about any of her fucks?
    Kutcher 2
    Superfish 0

  35. lisa

    She is so gorgeous. But I am very curious. Why did she post her profile on a celebrities and wealthy website named

    ” Celeb Mingle com”.. What is she looking for there?

  36. gotmilk?

    these two have been together for all of 3 days. give me a break with the fucking initial rings. i think kids in elementary school do that, which actually makes sense here.

  37. colepole

    Bowel Movement

  38. stfu

    #35

    you sound like an idiot. kutcher isn’t masterminding everything in the world. ‘oh that’s ashton pranking you”….i suppose you believe in god too. moron.

  39. woodhorse

    Too bad she doesn’t wear a ring to remind her to let her dogs out of the closet. Benji doesn’t want out of the closet.

    Oh My God Yodel While It Hums.

  40. fucker

    #31… you probably came across this site in the past few months while searching for “Spencer Pratt’s anal discharge” so I understand why you find this shit funny… you, my friend, are the douche.

    Not once did I say that I was hilarious or the master of witty banter… but FYI anyone could make the connection between BM and bowel movement and clearly, as more than a few people in this comments section have shown, everyone can come up with something for PH to mean in regards to Paris Hilton.

    I have read the superficial for years and yes, I admit, occassionally I still do get a laugh or two. HOWEVER, as I stated in my previous post, the site used to be a lot funnier with a lot less “My penis is huge! Supermodels clamor to get close to it! Paris Hilton sucks ZING!”

  41. Lola

    No Idea if they are real or not, but I want one of those rings! =)

  42. fucker

    PS- I can almost 110% guarantee that OMGYWIH means

    OH
    MY
    GOD
    YOUR
    WANG
    IS
    HUGE

    Wow! Another cleverly conjured up reference to the writers penis… shocker.

  43. Ted from LA

    Fucker has a good point. The Fish is starting to float at the top of the tank. Somebody needs to change the water or we’ll be flushing Fish down the toilet real soon. I wonder if he’ll donate his abs of steel and liver to science?

  44. dude

    isn’t paris just doing all this b/c she’s jealous nicole richie got all that attention with the other madden and their new baby? i think so. what a pathetic loser.

  45. dude_on_a_wire

    She’ll be back to tomboys by next week.

    Head shots do not seem to agree with her – but she is really hot from a distance in grainy video.

  46. Nikky Raney

    nicole and joe
    paris and benji
    awww, twins!

  47. Nikky Raney

    bm = bowel movement

  48. Jackie

    OH MY GOD YOUR WANG IS HUGE!!!!!

  49. agree

    Pairs looks damn hot. I saw her profile on millionaire&celeb dating site “W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m” last week. It seems she is dating online now.

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