Paris Hilton and actor/monk fiasco orchestrated by douche commander

March 7th, 2008 // 53 Comments

It turns out Paris Hilton’s public appearance with a monk who turned out to be an actor is part of some elaborate stunt for Ashton Kutcher’s new show Pop Fiction. Get it? Like Pulp Fiction. Clever and he wears trucker hats. This man is our Jesus. FOX News reports:

The performance for the paps was reportedly for Kutcher’s new E! series premiering this Sunday entitled “Pop Fiction.” The show is designed to make gullible paps and media outlets look pathetic by pulling all sorts of pranks.

Touché, Ashton Kutcher. Touché. But here’s a prank that will turn your brown eye blue: Look in the mirror. Surprise, you’re Ashton Kutcher – forever! Aw, man, that’s gotta sting. Also, you just got Punk’d. I win!


  1. SDT


  2. Jennifer2

    She was said to be fond of internet recently. Some of her fans found her on a millionaire&celebs club m. She has a personal account there with her pictures, blog…In her friend circle, some other stars can be found there.

  3. Kitty

    That is a really sad attempt of a “get back”. You can hardly “win” by pointing out that he is a famous, and attractive movie star. :P

    Face it, he got you guys.

  4. Wow, that’s an incredibly dull sounding show. I guess if you were masochistic, this would sound cool and/or interesting…

  5. Um, Jimbo told us about this Dork Fiction a couple days ago…way to be on top of stuff there /fish..

  6. nana

    wow, paris sure has turned her life around. i’m amazed at all the philanthropic things she’s been doing since spending 2.5 seconds in jail.

  7. ?/?

    um….??? i still don’t get it. i do get that she’s an attention whore though.

  8. lily

    it’s a interesting team…my friend told me they just accept a interview on .maybe it will be interesting

  9. Bobb-oh

    But, what’s the funny part? I don’t get it. Is he going to air some clips of paris and the dude and then stand in front of the camera and say, “And then, the entertainment news sights ran it as if it were real!” Woooooooooo! That’s high-brow humor folks. Real funny stuff. I’m going back to sleep…wake me when the country has finally crumbled.

  10. Girl

    I fucky all amelican boys. Tee heee heeee!

  11. Grunion

    If I gave a fuck I would feel so used. Boy that’s going to be one funny show.

  12. Dick Richards

    I hate a lot. It’s what I do. Hate is my sun and I orbit helplessly, relentlessly. There’s no love in my life, just levels of hatred. But being the connoisseur of fine hatred that I am, I reserve a very special place, for Ashton Kutcher.

    I hate Kutcher in the most, vile, dark, sociopathic way imaginable.

    I want ashton to have children, just so his kids can be abducted, sexually abused, strangled, and mutilated. Die-Die-Die!

  13. FCS

    Whatever, it doesn’t change the fact she is slowly morphing into some kind of large footed bird -breature. Seriously that fucking nose is really starting to freak me the fuck out.

  14. Captain-Insano

    #12: Woah. Thats deep, deep hate right there.

  15. JoBOO


  16. UncleTouchy

    Let’s see some stripper of the street writes screenplays and wins awards while Ashton (fuck I hate that name) comes out with another prank show. Way to broaden your horizons, douche.

    But at least that coast gaurd movie was a big hit….

  17. JoBOO


  18. JoBOO


  19. DD

    I bet she’s wearing pretty panties under that smashing dress. I hope those are stockings and not pantyhose she’s wearing.

  20. JoBOO


  21. LL

    I don’t really hate Ashton Kutcher, but I do sorta wish someone would “punk” him by hitting him in the face – with a truck.

    A small truck. Not a semi. Man, that would be hilarious. Not enough to kill him, just enough to give him permanent brain damage, so maybe his show ideas would actually be interesting instead of the retard-level shit he’s putting out now.

  22. Frank Lucas' Bitch

    I always loved Ashton. Not in his stupid show but in 70s Show and Butterfly Effect. Too bad he’s with that old cow, he could have had any model in the world.

  23. kitty_kat

    That show sounds totally dull. And anyway, I’m sure most people didn’t actually take Paris Hilton walking around with a monk seriously.

  24. Toni

    “Look in the mirror. Surprise, you’re Ashton Kutcher – forever! ”

    Come on, man, you can do better than that. If you’re going that direction, say something like “Look in the mirror. Surprise, that’s not your grandma, that’s your WIFE!”

  25. panty pudding

    ashton kutcher is a moron. your fake buddha was called out from day one. the shiny corporate footwear and high tech cell phone gave it away. but he does get the award for being captain obvious. we already know celebs have pulled stunts to get the paps to believe things, ex. the old switcheroo when britney used a doppleganger to fake like she was leaving an event but really she was still inside. or when lindsay tried to convince the paps that she was assaulted by paris then the next day claimed they were lying on her. she never said it. paris is her best friend. so brilliant of you ashton to make a whole show based on what your fellow talentless attention starved 20 something soon to be has been celebs are doing every day.

  26. kitty kitty

    you’re not original ashton. you aren’t even relevant any more. you’re 30 and washed up. your only role in life now is wearing a diaper and nursing on grandma’s tit.

  27. nipolian

    Just when the the gook spammer for the dating sites starts to get a command of the english language, we get a fucking new one (#2 & #21).

  28. soap box manager

    i don’t know what is more pathetic. the fact that ashton is married to a dried up plastic shrew with granny knees or the fact that this “older, sophisticated woman” couldn’t do an better than a 30 year old frat boy who thinks farting on your partner is a sign of affection.

  29. nipolian

    ashton is a hot stud with lots of spunk to share on

  30. Jesus will smite you

    Way to go, Paris. Didn’t you claim you found “faith” in jail but now you want to mock religion on TV? I’m starting a petition to make sure god smites you ASAP.

  31. BunnyButt

    Gosh, Ashton Kutcher is so fucking brilliant! Gorgeous AND intelligent! You know, if he turned that tremendous mind of his to physics or medicine, he could probably create a renewable, cheap, non-polluting power source or cure cancer and AIDS. Damn, he’s that smart!

    #10, is that you TT?

  32. lago

    Awww… did Ashton make a fool of an increasingly irresponsible and irrelevant media? Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?

  33. Auntie Kryst

    So whose feeding hands are bitten in this show? Hollywood fuckheads pissing off media with fake stunts, or is it revenge for media fuckheads always bothering these egotists? Man, this could cause a douche meltdown of China syndrome proportions.

  34. mizer lee

    ashton’s attempt at social commentary is meaningless. the media has neither soul nor pride. it’s not about what’s real or fake. it’s about making money and there is money to be made on celeb stories, period.

  35. Hecubus

    Wow, he’s such a rebel. What an outlaw, I mean this guy is totally gonna bring down the system. He even wears his baseball cap at a slightly tilted angle … that’s not even how you’re supposed to wear them ! God, what a rebel he is. You go Ashton, you get on that Mtv with your professional make up artists and clothing experts to dress you up all ‘punky’ like a character from a 90′s anti drug propaganda film made for high schools. You are the voice of the rebellious youth Ashton. Tear it all down Ashton, tear this fucking playhouse down.

  36. Harry Ballzack

    Jeez what a self seviant show for celebrities. They get to fuck with the paparazzi and Kutcher sells it to the E channel. Still looking for his place in Hollywood life other than Dewme More’s husband I see.
    I very seriously doubt I will ever catch an episode of THIS tank. Kutcher has the inteligence of mud and his programs show it.
    Didn’t the paps notice the Corrofram shoes – the cell phone – the home made hand tattoo – the pinky ring ?
    You guys are slipping



  38. #32 my love

    no you stupid bitch it is not TT. Now close your mouth and swallow the semen and for God’s sake stop spreading flies so keep your legs closed.

  39. mcbeef

    @19. How do you type and jack off simultaneously?

    Go fuck yourself.

  40. Mal Gusto

    Douché Ashton, Douché.

  41. DD

    It’s an art form to masturbate and type at the same time.

    And yes, I do fuck myself, like right now I have a nice dildo burried deep in my asshole.

    I love pretty panties…………..

  42. angela

    Pop fiction = popular fiction.

  43. Annicka

    Joke’s on you, Ashton. Nobody fucking believed it.

  44. theboss

    wait…hang on a second here….ashton kutcher is still alive? wow, uh good for him and stuff. i remember seeing his profile on a couple of years ago.

  45. Jakey

    Am I the only one who thinks it’s dumb to have a prank show where every single prank is performed on the press, who then reveal it days/weeks before it airs? No? Good.

  46. Mr. Bojangles

    That’s about as awkward as this watercooler conversation:

  47. cat

    Oh please — everyone knew that whole shaman bit was phony. As for Ashton, what will happen when he has to do press junkets for the release of his new movie? I smell some Karma in the wind.

  48. ks

    so…it looks like she has one leg in this picture.

  49. vero

    Oh yea, it must really suck to be Ashton K. Um…gorgeous successful man happily married to gorgeous successful movie star…close-knit happy family…& money out the wazoo…wow…how awful to “look in the mirror” and see himself!..LMAO! He made an ass out of you and the rest of the gullible media…quit whining like a bunch of (very jealous) babies.

  50. Igottabemeeee

    Oooo Snap! #50! You done told us’n off!! We were so taken in by that story, shit. I thought for sure that Paris was hangin’ with the Guru and changing her life the day after she flashed her naked vag in a miniskirt. It was completely believable. Damn ya’all.

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