Paris Hilton almost killed herself during a surprise birthday party for Stavros Niarchos when she jumped into her pool after a garden light had fallen in.
“Everyone was stunned. Paris was lucky she didn’t get electrocuted,” a source told the Sunday Mirror. “She thought it was hilarious. Stavros jumped in next and accidentally knocked her on the head in the process.” Hilton later treated her guests to a pole dancing session. The insider added, “Paris was so drunk she could barely hold on to the pole – let alone dance.”
There’s nothing funny about being electrocuted to death. Unless it’s Paris Hilton. In a pool. Being electrocuted to death. In which case, yeah, that’s sort of funny.
Awww, Megan, sorry nobody has hated on you in a while. If it makes you feel any better, I got a phone call today from someone named Megan and when I repeated her phone number back to her, I said, “Megan Harris?” So you see, you are always on my mind. P.S. She was really insulted.
Megan Harris’ crabs have herpes.
This story proves that there is no God. If there were, he would have chosen that moment to smite the bitch with a lightning bolt of righteous wrath.
Now I can go engage in sodomy and drown boxes of puppies without feeling the slightest bit of guilt. Thanks, Paris.
MeganHarris got stood up again for study group. I guess now she can listen to Mazzy Star on her headphones and practice looking angry/depressed/embittered by society until Art in the Humanities 101.
Your vagina has a cleft palate and a lazy eye you limping snot machine.
Stavros is hot
Good, it sounds like this second rate hooker is going to shit. I really think Stavros was trying to drown her in the process…Christ! Why do only the good die young and the rotten sons of bitches of the world linger on?
that must have been a bad night for that slut the perez reports that the stripper pole that she was dancing on broke and sent her crashing to the floor.
I don’t wanna see that she “almost” died..it’s too much. I don’t wanna see this till she fried her sore covered non-ass in a billion volts of wet electric death!!!
Oh and Megan, her song SUCKS, just like her.
Correction: Paris Hilton sucks AND blows.
meganharris: what did you say? It’s difficult to understand you when Edna’s cock is in your mouth.
Damn, my wish almost came true.
#48 you begging takes the fun out of meganharris bashing…well almost
mazzy starr. teehee. oshkosh makes me smile all over
I was happy there for a split second until i read furthur and turned out she wasnt dead.
I don’t know who the girl in that photo is but that isn’t the face Paris HIlton makes when cameras are within 30 yards.
Is she laughing? Is she eating bugs!?
What happened to the forums? :(
This is proof that there is no God.
Hey 65.. you STOLE my identity!! Asshole!!
God is totally teasing us all. It aint right.
@48
MeganHarris, we don’t hate Edna, we LOVE Edna. We HATE you.
Blindingly imperceptive comment from the Pre-Op Transsexual Child Molesting Cannibal.
Not surprising, as you obviously don’t have modern human emotions. Psycho.
…almost making this the best year of my life…. EVER. DIE HILTON!!
She didn’t get electrocuted was because the pool parted itself like The Red Sea, so as to protect itself from its shtank. Otherwise, no amount of chlorine could have saved it.
#59 I stand corrected.
Oh and uhhhh Megan Harris loves Tom Cruises Edna Bambitch-like wet noodle as much as Sherry-Co does. Now lets see them fight for it!
I really really wanted to say: ‘Oh, God! Poor paris, she’s a human being after all! And we talking abut how someone almost die!’
Then, I gotta remember that this ‘human’ is Paris, who sometimas I am not sure how is that she is alive, and I simply laughed my guts out!
Who’s this guy next to her?
One of the hobbits I suppose?
Ahhhh…such a pity! I thougth she was dead already.
Maybe next time she’d be able to kill herself!
Well, if we ever decide to build a roach motel type thing to trap stupid pseudo-celebrity bitches, all we have to do is bait it with a stripper pole and a Valtrex prescription.
All of the adverbs in this story are really pissing me off. Paris ALMOST electrocutes herself. Stavros ACCIDENTALLY knocked her in the head. She was so drunk, she was BARELY able to hang on to the pole. Just think. If only one of these adverbs was different, Paris would be dead and the world would be a better place. Change “almost” to “definitely”, “accidentally” to “fatally”, or “barely” to “not”. And there you have it. Paris and her herpes would both be dead. Well, her herpes would live on in 274 lucky men, but that’s beside the point.
Geez’! I said “next time”??
I meant maybe next reencarnation!
“Paris was so drunk she could barely hold on to the pole – let alone dance.”
That reminds me of the time we brought Pam non-stick cooking spray to the strip club.
Last month I remember her jumping into the Grotto at the Playboy Mansion with a refrigerator shoved up her vast clam-hole while the power was still plugged in. Remember? She killed Ralph Macchio, David Faustino and Lou Ferrigno. Rember?
Paris had to make restitution to the families of the dead. Luckily for her she has $8.32 in her purse that day.
79 – I guess the refridgerator was stocked with placenta, I mean, polenta.
Too easy.
That story must be a lie because Paris is never to drunk to hold on to a pole.
“Paris was so drunk she could barely hold on to the pole”
Did everyone miss that except for me??
So close. Damn it.
What does that woman do!?!??!? I can’t stand her… rich for doing absolutly nothing… she is beyond annoying… jumping in a pool when a light fell in… she has no brain.
Is it me or does her herpe-donor always have a “Dude, sport me a brain cell?” look on his mug? If you’re a billionaire’s playboy kid, shouldn’t you look at least a little sophisticated and dashing as opposed to looking like a clerk in the automotive aisle at Costco?
Um what the hell is wrong with mazzy Star?
Like you guys didn’t listen to her first album.
@87
What is really wrong here is your insisting to act like an innocent, teenage, brain cancer victim. The schtick is not good. And you are a middle aged tranny with small children in cages in your basement studio apartment.
her myspace is this:
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=49002457
if only.
Finally, solid proof that there is no God. take that Edna Clambitch.
It’s amazing, the constance with which she makes a point of proving again and again the only obvious and well-known fact about her: her dumbness.
Isn’t she always drunk? It’s amazing she’s still alive today! but god does work in mysterious ways…
87 – That shit is played out like Africa medallions and tiny Pooh Bear backpacks. I guess that concept is beyond someone who still sucks on a pacifier and swings glow-sticks around while they listen to Prodigy. Is your favorite movie, perchance, Slackers or Reality Bites?
I fucking loathe you with every molecule of my body MeganHarris. I hope you drink too much GHB and crash your Volvo into a gay book store, you webbed-vagina-having pus-face.
#86, Pez is so right!!! ewwww, i can only HOPE that whoever who had to drain the thing ( the pool, not parasite!–ugh, THATS another story all together!! ) to clean it and steralize it for all the VD in the world…..ewwww, do you think stavros MINDS that his rich, yet white trash girlfriend has, and has given him an incurable STD? or STD’s…..just think, all the $$$ they have put together and they still manage to look like shitney and k-fug. now THAT is hard to beat….hey, you know what would be fun? beating up BOTH parties!!!!
YIKES! What the hell’s going on with this chick? Maybe little Tinkerbell had special powers, and after she gave him the boot he put curse on her. It’s one train-wreck after another with her lately. Not like she was ever terribly exciting, graceful, or smart, but she sure has been on the path straight to Loserville since she dumped the pup.