Paris Hilton almost killed herself during a surprise birthday party for Stavros Niarchos when she jumped into her pool after a garden light had fallen in.
“Everyone was stunned. Paris was lucky she didn’t get electrocuted,” a source told the Sunday Mirror. “She thought it was hilarious. Stavros jumped in next and accidentally knocked her on the head in the process.” Hilton later treated her guests to a pole dancing session. The insider added, “Paris was so drunk she could barely hold on to the pole – let alone dance.”
There’s nothing funny about being electrocuted to death. Unless it’s Paris Hilton. In a pool. Being electrocuted to death. In which case, yeah, that’s sort of funny.
Vampyreska | April 25, 2006 at 11:16 am
Ding! Dong! The witch is dead!!!
thetruthhurts | April 25, 2006 at 11:16 am
Awww, this one’s just too easy…if only the Bentley she lost in Vegas could have fallen in on top of her…we can dream!
Oh, and FIRST!
Vampyreska | April 25, 2006 at 11:18 am
I SO wish this actually happened. I want her to die doing something really embarrassing and stupid. She is so worried about her reputation, I would love to see her being remembered for nothing more than getting electrocuted by a dildo or pencil sharpener. Or overdose of Valtrex.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | April 25, 2006 at 11:19 am
I told her it would give her a wicked buzz and help the sores stop itching. She totally fell for it.
HiAlisonC | April 25, 2006 at 11:19 am
Doesn’t she need a little electo-shock therapy???
bjpack | April 25, 2006 at 11:21 am
The sad thing is that now she probably has super powers and will take over the world. Hurry it up, Xenu. Get me out of here!!
Vampyreska | April 25, 2006 at 11:21 am
People get so excited when they think they are first.
Slysaucy | April 25, 2006 at 11:23 am
That’s Hot
Feed_Me_Chocolate | April 25, 2006 at 11:25 am
Hope they did a serious shock treatment on the pool after that (no pun intended). And busted out the Windex to clean that poor, poor pole she wiped herself on.
PocketRocket | April 25, 2006 at 11:25 am
Oh, Death, where was thy sting?!
Guess we’ll all have to wait for the various STD’s she’s housing to do the job, albeit very slowly.
Dr.Rokter | April 25, 2006 at 11:26 am
The cicuit breaker now officially joins the hydrogen bomb as things we should never have invented.
TaiTai | April 25, 2006 at 11:27 am
You mean she survived? Damn, my plot was foiled again. I’ll have to come up with something more elaborate next time. I guess she can hold more liquor (and voltage) than I anticipated.
jennifer11 | April 25, 2006 at 11:29 am
allow me to be the first to say:
that’s SHOCKING!!!
kate_possible | April 25, 2006 at 11:33 am
oh dear god how the hell didn’t she die?
it’s like logic. you jump into a pool with electrical shit in it and you die.
good-bye no more you.
I wish that walking stick of herpies would go bye bye
Spindoc | April 25, 2006 at 11:33 am
I think Herpes Sores ground you against shock.
The sad thing is…ok, you are rich, famous etc… you are the one who should be comfortable, sitting there secure in your fame and money and you YOU are the one who is so desperate for attention that YOU get up at your OWN party to entertain people by doing a poll dance? What, was this girl molested at age 6 or something? That is just pathetic.
jkough | April 25, 2006 at 11:38 am
I wonder if it killed off her crabs?
BoobsForBob | April 25, 2006 at 11:39 am
God just smacked himself in the forehead and said, “Damn, another missed opportunity…SHIT!”
Queen LaQueefah | April 25, 2006 at 11:40 am
what a dumb broad. that’s pretty much all i can say. most of us are pretty disappointed that she didn’t actually die, but god has bigger plans for her, and in turn for us. cause who in the hell would we laugh at and hate for being borderline-retarded and horribly ugly and disgustingly slutty all at once? also, i hate to actually say this, but her boyfriend is pretty delicious-looking, although i don’t care if he was the last man on earth, i wouldn’t touch any guy who’d boned Hilton, not even with Lindsay Lohan’s cooter.
Jedi Kevin | April 25, 2006 at 11:41 am
One of the saddest words: almost.
LL | April 25, 2006 at 11:44 am
Dammit, and I planned it so carefully. First, I waited about 10 minutes till she was good and drunk. Then I “accidentally” knocked the light into the pool, then I suggested that it would be so hot if she jumped in and made her clothes all wet and see-through like. Talk about dumb luck. But I’ll be back. If I’ve learned nothing else from CSI, I’ve learned that there are LOTS of ways to elaborately kill someone.
gsprescueguy | April 25, 2006 at 11:44 am
I am certain that the massive amount of silcone in her body would insulate her to being electrocuted.
LookAtME | April 25, 2006 at 11:46 am
What a stupid cunt… “she thought it was hilarious”. Reading about her makes me want to punch babies.
DivaG81 | April 25, 2006 at 11:47 am
I hate this stupid bitch. It’s fate’s cruel trick – she’ll never die. We’ll still hear about her when she’s 80, on her 14th husband, trying to grind against her walker:(
sometimesboy | April 25, 2006 at 11:50 am
electricity has no effect on paris…she’s been fried like a grill cheese sandwich since she was 15…plus…how do you kill something that is dead inside…
Vampyreska | April 25, 2006 at 11:52 am
I think there are other hotel chains that are less tacky than the Hilton chain. Don’t those hotel owners have conceited, herpes-infected, ugly kids as well?
I mean, where is Kelli Ramada and Fifi Radisson?
gogoboots | April 25, 2006 at 11:53 am
Damn so close, it would have made GREAT headlines too…this is publicity you really can’t go without!
Gerald Tarrant | April 25, 2006 at 11:57 am
I feel like Frank Grimes to her Homer Simpson.
Italian Stallion | April 25, 2006 at 12:02 pm
Damn, thats a shame it was almost, I LOVE STEAMED CRABS……..
PapaHotNuts | April 25, 2006 at 12:03 pm
If she really wants to shock herself, she should quit drinking and whoring for a week and see what the world really thinks about her.
Then she would, of course, kill herself and the universe could get back to normal.
UNWASHEDMASSES | April 25, 2006 at 12:07 pm
Firstly, when it comes to Paris one simply must inquire – what kind of “pole” was she “giving dance sessions”? The entire event sounds like the preface to a cheesy ’50′s Sci-Fi movie: Paris falls into an electrified pool and her STD’s, enhanced by chlorine and energized by electricity, mutate into a giant Herpe monster that threatens the quaint City of Angels…
ILovePapaSmurf | April 25, 2006 at 12:22 pm
Almost? Almost!? Which God do I have to sleep with until she is gone! Geez…
LookAtME | April 25, 2006 at 12:28 pm
The only pool she needs to be jumping into – is a pool of iodine.
MeanNate | April 25, 2006 at 12:30 pm
I hope her death is a little more compromising than just jumping in a pool and getting electrocuted… I want there to somehow be hampsters involved.
Idolnian | April 25, 2006 at 12:33 pm
Paris should wear a big red cape with STD scrolled across the back. It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a pole smoking super wench! I’m sure her dad was in the bushes, slapping his head over and over..Dangit! Dangit! Dangit!
Mr Furious | April 25, 2006 at 12:38 pm
Why didn’t someone throw the stereo in after them?
What the hell is wrong with people?
Strong Bad | April 25, 2006 at 12:39 pm
And somewhere, in Heaven, an Angel loses it’s wings ..
.. Because God doesn’t tolerate failure.
Mike | April 25, 2006 at 12:44 pm
If the garden light was installed next to the pool then I’m sure it was a low voltage light, so sadly there was never any chance of Paris getting killed.
PapaHotNuts | April 25, 2006 at 1:00 pm
Electrocuted in the pool, that’s hot.
Leyna | April 25, 2006 at 1:03 pm
I hate to be a bitch, but do you know how amazing that would be if she actually died?
Paris Hilton is a waste of human.
Grphdesi23 | April 25, 2006 at 1:05 pm
All in good time, my pretty…..
All in good time.
HollyJ | April 25, 2006 at 1:12 pm
Even electrons are scared to touch her herpes. =(
BlairTheLostCause | April 25, 2006 at 1:14 pm
Why didn’t anyone pick up on this dynamo opportunity? Someone could of at least kicked in a toaster or radio, cmon there had to be several things in the area that could have done the job. Were talking mansion parties, everything runs on electricity there. Damn millionaires with there electric toothbrushes. P.S. Pete Doherty’s birthday might be soon, I think there might be a solid new toothbrush with his name on it. All the same we wouldn’t want a perfectly good toothbrush to just lie around and not be used.
fin.
Smokey Josie | April 25, 2006 at 1:20 pm
that’s a shame….that the current wasn’t stronger.
Badhero | April 25, 2006 at 1:25 pm
It’s time to RETIRE Paris, there is NOTHING she could do that would surprise anyone anymore, and I tire of the herpes jokes. (Ha ha, yes, Paris Hilton has herpes, I KNOW!)
What does a total whore receive as a pension, and who will be hired to take her place?
ablet | April 25, 2006 at 1:26 pm
I guess she really is the shit.
Charlaurz McHall | April 25, 2006 at 1:27 pm
She is a retard. An absolute retard. With herpes. Hopefully her death will be much more humiliating than this. Hopefully her vagina will fall off.
http://celebrityreligion.typepad.com
D-Rock | April 25, 2006 at 1:29 pm
All this time I thought the shocker was actually two in the pink, one in the stink, and a little somethin’ somethin’. Maybe they’ve never heard of it over in Greece?
MeganHarris | April 25, 2006 at 1:35 pm
poor Paris. Hey, even i don’t like this new EDNA character. who is this dork?
psssst.
Hey guys, Remember me!!? I’m Megan Harris! I’m really really stoopid and I make dumb comments, remember? Oh , and I still like Paris Hilton’s “Screwed” song.
hate ME! Hate me!
Jonny5 | April 25, 2006 at 1:42 pm
Let me get this straight, if her parents pop off then this IQ challenged stick-chick gets the lot??! I wouldnt put her in charge of a lawnmower.
OhHowCynical | April 25, 2006 at 1:46 pm
Oh no! So close and yet so far…. What a shame it wasn’t higher voltage. I can only imagine what her tombstone would’ve said: “That’s hot!” Or at least it would’ve been.