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Paris Hilton was questioned by the LAPD during the investigation into the home-invasion robbery of Girls Gone Wild producer Joe Francis (in which he was tied up, had his pants pulled down, was taunted by a dildo, and forced to admit on tape that he enjoyed gay sex) and in the audio tape admits she’s not very bright:
“Like I really … I don’t remember. I’m not like that smart,” Hilton said in police audio tapes set to air on “Dateline NBC” on Saturday night. LAPD Detective Steve Koman and Deputy DA Hoon Chun were asking Hilton to remember what she told Francis at a party shortly after the “Girls” mastermind was victimized on Jan. 24, 2004. Francis passed on Paris’ information to cops, who eventually busted Darnell Riley. But when investigators pressed Hilton to recall her talk with Francis, she didn’t remember much, The Post’s David K. Li reports. “I like forget stuff all the time,” she said.
Hilton also told the cops about “private tapes” that were stolen from her home and that a mysterious caller wanted money for them.
“They … wanted money. They were tryin’ to sell it to like a newspaper or something,” said Hilton, who balked at paying – and chalked it up to advice from dear old Dad. “So if you pay somebody, then you’re gonna be paying for the rest of your life,” Hilton said. “My dad always taught me. They’ll keep the tape anyway.”
There’s too much going on here. Joe Francis admitting he’s gay and almost getting sodomized. Paris Hilton admitting she’s mentally handicapped. Maybe if I throw in these pictures of her pumping gas your brain will explode from an overdose of pleasure. And then, my friends, my mission in life will be complete. For I am Exploderhead: the exploder of heads.
First! Orgasm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mmmmmm, that was creamy.
and then like i stuck this gas nozzle up my ass because i’m like not very smart and all and then like my dad lit his cigar and we like all blew up and then like there was my shit from my ass flying all over the place and i’m like, maybe someone should call the police but i forgot the number.. and then um some guy came up and offered to like sell me the tape and i was like no way cause my dad taught me not to and then he said wanna blow me and i was like that’s so hot and all and then i can’t remember but i think i may have given him a disease or something..
I’m surprised she stuck the pump in the car rather than her poosey.
Make her go away =(
http://www.wampoon.com
Right, right…..she knows what she’s doing. She plays dumb when she wants to. It’s all an act. And why would anyone steal Paris Hilton’s tapes? Don’t we already know everything we need to know about her?
Oh to have been there with a lit match…….
In Jersey we just say “young, dumb and full of cum”. Maybe they can add that to the HIlton family crest.
Not first and doesn’t give a fuck.
I always pump my own gas while wearing an eleven hundred dollar dress and six hundred dollar shoes. Nothing like smelling like unleaded instead of Chanel.
She is the epitome of stoooooopid.
Is it Ex-ploderhead or Ess-ploderhead?
Nice outfit to pump gas in! Is it off the rack?
P.S. Beatcha Ferret. Ha! Ha!
She’s stupid?!?!? Say it ain’t so ….
Crap, fuckity poo.
I would love to pump her gas. Get it?
ahhh, I got nuthin’…..
9- commissioner, you beat me by that much!
By “forget stuff all the time”, she means the proper recommended dosage of Valtrex and wearing underwear, right?
This was all pretty innocuous until she started demonstrating her handjob technique on the gas pump in the last picture.
What breaking news!
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
Riiiiiiggggggtttttt.
The illusion is almost complete. Paris will finally turn into Dr. No and kill James Bond and Nichole Ritchie and Jessica Simpson, and Jessica’s creepy dad and Lindsey Lohan and all those midgets in the Burger King commercial.
I guess she also, like, forgot that you’re not supposed to yap on a cell phone while pumping gas or it might ignite the fumes.
Actually, I’d pay money to see that shit. Then she’d have a burning sensation in places other than her nasty ol’ coochie.
Please tell me this is an old photo, cuz that bitch should have had her license revoked when she got busted for DUI.
You know, they warn you about the danger of the gasoline vapors igniting while using a cell phone. Why couldn’t this be the moment when it actually DID happen? Why Fate, do you taunt us?
Maybe next time she and her friends will have a gasoline fight while “Wake Me Up Before You Go” plays in the background, and one of them will light a cigarette and they will be instantaneously incinerated.
Nah, that only happens in the movies.
BigJim, damn you. Damn you to hell!
She’s pretty smart if she’s aware of her stupidity…isn’t she?
# 18: you say that as though you expect her to be able to decipher that complicated sign that pictures a cell phone with a red circle around it and a diagonal line through it…
@13
So sorry.
I have, by necessity, washed my car in an incredibly expensive dress. Gotta wash the blood of the homeless off before the police show up.
I could totally see this on Law & Order: SVU
http://www.celebslam.com
Paris know’s how to pump gas huh?
I learn something new everyday.
In case this dumb bitch likes to read the Super, let’s not let her know about the whole Cell Phone pump gas go boom thing, ok people? LOL…………….
of course she can pump gas, squeezing the nozzle is just like giving a handjob, and she’s had looooots of experience doing that…its just too bad that the photographer missed the shots of her pulling the nozzle out and licking it clean while exclaiming “there, and I didn’t spill a drop…” Im just waiting for the day that she decides to publicly compare Cum and Maxwell house coffee “Its totally like, good to the last drop!”
Is it just me, or do her feet look REALLY big in those shoes? I mean, even larger than normal!
If a crazy person doesn’t know they’re crazy, is it truly possible that a stupid person knows they’re stupid?
“My dad always taught me. They’ll keep the tape anyway.”
I don’t know, does it sound like her Pop learned the hard way?
And as for the last picture, she’s just a bit flummoxed because she’s never seen one with a rubber on…
Is this bitch like ever not on the phone?
These pictures of Paris makes her look a lot like Nicole does in the picture on the right of this page–the ad for Lionel’s new album.
Wow. I’ll be the odd man out and say it.
I’d hit it. And blast her in her wonky eye with it.
http://www.edquartersaudio.com
In that last pic she appears to be pondering the number of gas pumps she could fit inside her rat-infested cooch.
Let me help you Paris – the answer is 7.
Nice to know that she is smart enough to realize what a complete dumb-ass she is. Hopefully with some more training she will be able to use a fork and knife, learn to say the days of the week and avoid Herpes.
God I wish this wasn’t just an internet rumor…
In the last photo she has her left hand wrapped around the nozzle rubber like it’s a cock.
A big black cock!
My big black cock!
Okay, so I’m not black…
and my cock is not big.
It’s as miniscule as a Ferrets actually.
Exploderhead, you’re my favourite blogger because there’s NOTHING on here that doesn’t make me laugh out loud.
Marry me?
xo
m
I wish Paris Hilton would move to Ireland and spread her love.
What is this Understatement Week? First Pam finally admits to being a married whore and Paris admits to being an idiot savant who specializes in idiocy. I guess Robin Williams will be having a press conference soon that no matter how many movies he makes, no one gives a damn about him…
@38- Who is this blogger “Exploderhead” that you speak of.
You are welcome to come on over to one of these two sites where you can be more comfortable.
http://www.cock-ninja.blogspot.com/
http://angry-ferret.blogspot.com/
I, myself, have a different screenname over there.
My God, did someone check to make sure the gas wasn’t still running when she left, you know she forgets things! I can see it now… Paris driving away as the gas station explodes and her looking in the rear view while chatting it up with someone about how the new Gucci glasses she got for free are so Hot, and she mutters “Oops” and continues to drive and the fried carcasses of bodies fly through the air.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/paris-hilton-sex-tape.htm
@40 and that he’s really hairy.
Then LoJob will fess up that she’s a drunked coke whore.
Hey number 8-Freebird is the BEST barband song ever!
Thanks for bringing back great memories!
38 female canuck – Who is this ‘Exploderhead’ blogger you speak of?
You’re more than welcome to come by either the site linked under my name… or this site
http://www.cock-ninja.blogspot.com/
I’m sure we can make you comfortable and have a chat.
P.S. I, myself, go by a different name over there
HALLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOO ‘Fish! I am at my new job…I missed you guys so much! SNIFF SNIFF
Just goes to show you cant buy everything – expecially brains. But they can buy a keeper for her…she needs one….badly!
Pagan Queen! Welcome back, baby! Haven’t seen you in a veddy veddy long time!
Yeah well in certain situations it’s smart to be stupid. She’s got some brain cells left…
http://www.exposay.com/paris-rejects-steve-coogans-drunk-move-on-her/v/4480/
Canuck – be sure to get your pets spayed or neutered before hanging out with Brain. They’ll get knocked up for sure.
Seriously though, come play with us.
http://angry-ferret.blogspot.com/
In fact, everyone come play with us. This post is stale, our shiz is sooper-fresh. Mostly.
you guys. its just an act. paris is secretly a genius scientist fat gay man who is working on a theory that will overthrow einstein’s theory of relativity……
and have everyone wearing uniforms that say “thats hot” on the back