Paris Hilton has an ass. Who knew?

May 12th, 2009 // 93 Comments

Here’s Paris Hilton in the Caribbeans wearing a bikini that’s failing miserably in the ass coverage department. Then again, I’m surprised she even has one. I just assumed Paris’ legs connected to her torso like a butt-less LEGO figure, but clearly, there’s an on-ramp to VD back there. Did not see that coming.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. someguyuy

    First.

    Ew.

  2. Jess

    cunt bag

  3. Tucker Jay

    ugh. no one cares.

  4. Erica

    That’sa very loose definition of an ass.

    Heh, loose. Get it?

  5. Danklin

    and on ramp to VD lol good stuff.

    Seriously though, she has an ass like i had at 12 . So basically she still has the body of a 12 year old boy….with herpes.

  6. pirhan

    She looks like a cartoon character.

  7. It's Me Fuckers

    that does not compliment her ass at all… she could look so good (as good as Paris gets) in a bikini… why wear something so fugly?

  8. Are you wish for intercoursing Rob Pattinson? For so a site for you called H o t C Z e c h.com Is fun like discotheque and there is much swamp rape there.

  9. dirk

    That’s not-hot.

  10. Cathy

    weird… she’s so tall, now I see it’s her torso that’s long, not her legs… hrmmm… she’s just weird looking. and gross.

  11. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Paris Hilton IS An Ass. I Knew.

    Really…is it THAT hard to find a suit that fits properly?
    Doesnt this bitch have barrelfulls of money???
    Buy a decent suit, fer crying out loud! They have ‘em at WALMART for $15.99!

  12. I’d love to give her sunburned back a hard open wet handed smack.

  13. Her suit hasn’t fit right ever since her vagina broke out into flame.

  14. you call that an ass? wow. The only ass I see is the douche bag BF that is able to put up with her crap.

  15. Kelley

    Who knew ?? Who cares ??

  16. That’s my kind of ass…the kind you find on underage boys…mmmm pedo….

  17. lost

    if it wasnt for the surgery that she is gonna get or has already gotten, she would not age well at all. that is except her ass which stopped growing when she was an eight year old boy.

  18. tanya

    Looks like she will also have skin cancer by the looks of that burn.

  19. The 1 & Only Mrs. Burke

    Paris looking a little burnt..maybe she should stick to spray tanning. What is she up to? Boyfriend number 6,969?

  20. No_won_yuno

    I have seen better cheeks on a chimpmunk!

  21. Vince Lombardi

    And yet, despite all her money, insists on no sunscreen. Ouch. That’s hot.

  22. Krassy McKrass

    Wow, she’s going to be leathery when she gets older. Like Beef Jerky.

  23. EB

    You have to remember why her ass is so small—-it’s proportional to the size of her brain.

  24. Photoshop Police

    Well, “sunburnt” isn’t the same as “burst into flames” , so we can rule out vampire.

    Glad to see outside in the daytime before sundown, Paris!
    Amazing that you woke up before the crack of 3pm

  25. I CALL paris A WHORE IN THE BODY OF THIS MESSAGE

    f’ing gross

  26. j

    that ISSSSSSSSSSSS legs connected to her torso, are you kidding me?! there is no buttocks there…. im still trying to find what you’re talking about.

  27. j

    that ISSSSSSSSSSSS legs connected to her torso, are you kidding me?! there is no buttocks there…. im still trying to find what you’re talking about.

  28. Rogue

    … so *not* an ass.

  29. SoTe

    Gross. It’s weird that she doesn’t take care of her skin properly, what an idiot.

  30. huh?

    She looks like the modern version of the Coppertone girl, only this time with a fire crotch and STD’s. She is truly pathetic.

  31. jerryff

    Really not sure about that! She used to be good! and all my hot and sincere friends on ” ___ T a l l c o n n e c t . c o m ___ ” loved her! and she’s popular on the site; so, what happened?

  32. Megan

    Her hair is unfortunate. Looks like a fucking burned up troll doll. In pic 2 her feet look all fucked up like she’s painted on some kind of Egyptian relief or something. Except with, you know, more herpes.

  33. thumper

    My penis is tingling

  34. Exo

    She has a very low cut, flat ass. Much like all white women (And I´m one, if you thought about startin to slam that racist-crap all over my comment)

    She has that kind of reeeaaaly low cut ass that normally pre-puberty boys has
    At least they do here in scandinavia),
    and all that can change in a heartbeat with a pair of Lowride Hanky Panky´s,
    so why wait?

    Hanky Pank Yourself, woman!
    So that we all will live trough the next day as positive (not HIV), happy youngsters, glowing with the eager , youthful shine of life, wanting to learn, to free the world of pain, death and STD´s.

    -Or will you just go down the P. Hilton lane?
    The dark, crusty, itchy and lonley road…to wherever the Devil puts his “look bot don’t touch” items?

  35. Exo

    She has a very low cut, flat ass. Much like all white women (And I´m one, if you thought about startin to slam that racist-crap all over my comment)

    She has that kind of reeeaaaly low cut ass that normally pre-puberty boys has
    At least they do here in scandinavia),
    and all that can change in a heartbeat with a pair of Lowride Hanky Panky´s,
    so why wait?

    Hanky Pank Yourself, woman!
    So that we all will live trough the next day as positive (not HIV), happy youngsters, glowing with the eager , youthful shine of life, wanting to learn, to free the world of pain, death and STD´s.

    -Or will you just go down the P. Hilton lane?
    The dark, crusty, itchy and lonley road…to wherever the Devil puts his “look but don’t touch” items?

  36. Laughing

    LOOOOOOOOOLLLLLL at the Lego man reference!

  37. AJ

    The only way I could tell Paris has an ass is by her butt crack.

  38. Mohesha

    #36

    I am black and have a flat ass. I am skinny too.

  39. Exo

    #36:

    What can I say? Your god is cruel.

  40. gotmilk?

    in what world does that bathing suit bottom fit?

  41. Érico

    That’s the most unremarkable butt ever.

  42. Just realized...

    If this girl’s torso was proportionate to her legs… I’d think she’s only be 5’5” at the most.

  43. PostmortemG

    “Are you wish for intercoursing Rob Pattinson?”

    You’re a lame spammer, but you’re also intentionally funny, so i forgive you! =D As for P.H.? Sure, she has an anus, and maybe even a butt; however, she definitely doesn’t have an ass. Nope.

  44. alex

    I’d stick a finger in that pooper. then my finger would match her back and we’d laugh about it later on

  45. Deacon Jones

    @8
    Swamp Rape huh?

    Just when you think youve done it all…

  46. joeblow

    Damn… what’s with the nasty brown stain at the top of her ass-crack???

  47. Paris is burning

    I really don’t want to see that ever again. I didn’t want to see it to start out with! Now my eyes are itchy, and I want to cover my body with ointment. MAKE IT STOP!

  48. Rich

    If her & I were the only 2 left on earth to restart the human race, I would rather jerk off with a sandpaper mitten.

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