Paris Hilton – A Process A Gift and A Journey

July 6th, 2007 // 74 Comments

Somebody took the journal excerpt Paris Hilton read on Larry King Live and turned it into a rock ballad (listen to it above). I’d be lying* if I said this wasn’t the most powerful and moving piece of music I’ve ever heard in my entire life. If Paris Hilton’s career as a person who stands there doing nothing ever falls though, she should seriously consider a career in music lyrics. Or touching people’s hearts. *swoon*

*This may or may not be a lie.

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Comments (74)

  1. JC | July 6, 2007 at 12:48 pm

    i hope someone would kick paris hilton’s ass why is she wasting air time on television?

    Reply
  2. jrzmommy | July 6, 2007 at 12:49 pm

    Actually I found her change of heart convincing during the interview.

    Reply
  3. Ugh | July 6, 2007 at 12:49 pm

    Meh

    Reply
  4. Dunno | July 6, 2007 at 12:50 pm

    Urmm

    Reply
  5. James | July 6, 2007 at 12:50 pm

    @2 Are you a troll? It does not sound like you

    Reply
  6. abi | July 6, 2007 at 12:56 pm

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    And THAT was the most intelligent comment I have ever written

    Reply
  7. Dushie Blue | July 6, 2007 at 12:56 pm

    Doesn’t she know that she can’t act. *sigh* Yeah, that’s convincing. If you had done some more of that sighing maybe your porno tape wouldn’t have sucked so much and you would have been good at at least one thing.

    Reply
  8. wiinja | July 6, 2007 at 12:57 pm

    i bet Larry King hit it after the taping

    Reply
  9. Danielle | July 6, 2007 at 12:57 pm

    WHY is she so stupid?? Come on, she a complete airhead…why do people care that mucha aboout her

    Reply
  10. penni | July 6, 2007 at 12:58 pm

    how sad.

    Reply
  11. jrzmommy | July 6, 2007 at 12:59 pm

    #5 – people can change. Let’s give her a chance, and stop prejudging her.

    Reply
  12. no1justminda | July 6, 2007 at 1:00 pm

    That big sigh in the middle of the reading is a sign of exhaustion…she’s never had to work so hard at something in her life! Reading is really hard to do!

    Reply
  13. wedgeone | July 6, 2007 at 1:06 pm

    #5 + #11 = Major Troll!!

    Hey Bern – I sent you the pic of your 7/5 DMBS topless – remember? You should use that one! Where did you dig her up with a shirt on?

    Reply
  14. troll | July 6, 2007 at 1:14 pm

    i am troll. hear me troll!

    Reply
  15. James | July 6, 2007 at 1:14 pm

    @5 & 11 Yes that is a troll. There is no way the is Jrzmommy

    Reply
  16. polypam | July 6, 2007 at 1:26 pm

    So much better than “Stars Are Blind”.

    Reply
  17. Jimbo | July 6, 2007 at 1:28 pm

    I agree, #5 & 11 are not jrzmommy – she’s one angry bitter bitch

    Reply
  18. veggi | July 6, 2007 at 1:29 pm

    DAMMIT! I hate not having audio in here!

    Reply
  19. James | July 6, 2007 at 1:32 pm

    Veggi – Do you remember the little jack in the box you had as a kid? You cranked the handle until jack popped out of the box? just play that music in your head as you watch the video

    Reply
  20. RUSerious?!?!?! | July 6, 2007 at 1:32 pm

    Is that Will Ferrel singing? Funny or Die people- it’s his site. yeah.. that’s hot

    Reply
  21. veggi | July 6, 2007 at 1:34 pm

    Thanks James!

    Reply
  22. Samantha Jones | July 6, 2007 at 1:40 pm

    Wow. That was really bad. And so, so good.

    Reply
  23. Beef Curtians | July 6, 2007 at 1:42 pm

    I’m guessing her mother drank alot while she was pregnant.

    Reply
  24. whitegold | July 6, 2007 at 1:46 pm

    As annoying as she is, and as much as I don’t think she has any right being rich and famous, and as much as I think that the first opportunity for a bad influence to get back into her life she’ll jump at it, if she really actually has changed, then that isn’t a bad thing at all. Well, other than the fact that a sweet and loving and goodie goodie Paris Hilton is gonna make things really boring in hollywood and seriously decrease the number of stupid celebrity stories on the Fish.

    Reply
  25. citizenstrange | July 6, 2007 at 1:49 pm

    Meet the “new” Paris. Same as the “old” Paris. She has the attention span of a flashbulb. Whatever happened to her Safe House? …. oh, just forget it.

    Reply
  26. Jenn | July 6, 2007 at 1:53 pm

    Oh, come on people…. people don’t change THAT much in two and half weeks, or three weeks, or whatever it was. She went into jail a vapid, superficial, talk mannequin and that’s exactly the way she came out. Only now she’s trying to make it appear as if she has some credibility. Ugghhhhh. When in the hell will her fifteen minutes be over?

    Reply
  27. just die Jenn | July 6, 2007 at 2:00 pm

    I hate it when people talk like experts on subjects they know nothing about firsthand. I’ve got several friends who did time, and it changed them. It doesn’t change hardened lifelong criminals, but it does change others. You have absolutely no idea what being in prison or jail is like, and you’re just talking out of your ass when you render an opinion about whether or not it can alter a person’s approach to life afterwards.

    Reply
  28. rosie's mustach | July 6, 2007 at 2:08 pm

    FUCK FUCK FUCK she has NOT changed. Since she’s been out she’s been vacationing in Hawaii and shopping up a storm. If she had changed she’s be donating her millions and volunteering in soup kitchens. THE BITCH WILL NEVER EVER CHANGE.

    This song is only funny if the people who made it are Paris haters. If they love her and think she has changed then they are pure filth and it is the saddest most revolting song I’ve ever heard next to that stupid one that Prince sings.

    http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20044489,00.html

    Reply
  29. rosie's mustach | July 6, 2007 at 2:13 pm

    Of course, my dad never stopped fisting me, so that’s probably why I don’t think people ever change. (also why all my farts are silent)

    Reply
  30. justifiable | July 6, 2007 at 2:13 pm

    #27 Oh, bullshit. What changed her was the wake-up call that all the lucrative endorsements, the TV show and other enterprises she’s involved with were being threatened by her wah-wah-it’s-not-fair attitude. Pulling a Leona Helmsley and having mom declare “It’s not fair, after all the money we’ve spent!” doesn’t endear you to anyone – she was told quite bluntly to suck it up and take her lumps or risk losing it all. The screaming crying blubbering why-me Paris was the real one, and she’s trying to layer enough repentant images over it in the forlorn hope that we all forget what we saw.

    Amazing what a dramatic turnaround money can buy, huh?

    Reply
  31. jrzmommy | July 6, 2007 at 2:18 pm

    She’s been out for 10 days. Judging her now only shows that you’re rigidly judgmental.

    Reply
  32. rosie's mustach | July 6, 2007 at 2:18 pm

    *she’d be donating

    Funny when I was writing the above post I hadn’t read this little debate that was going on.Weird timing.

    The fact is many people may change through many different circumstances in life like getting a form of cancer that was in NO WAY your fault (kind of nobler than being punished for criminal behaviour)but a rich spoiled brat who leads a heinously greedy life, I would bet vegas money that she won’t change. But my definiton of change and becoming a decent person would be donating her millions to charities in this world full of suffering, living a modest life, volunteering her time, giving up all the hardcore partying and drugs/alchohol, taking a year off men entirely and then settling down to have a faithful meaningful lifelong relationship. So ya that’s IMPOSSSIBLE.

    Reply
  33. parisite hiltron | July 6, 2007 at 2:19 pm

    I love the part where the cop yells “back up”

    Reply
  34. rosie's mustach | July 6, 2007 at 2:25 pm

    Dear little troll,

    I’m sorry that you have an obsession with anal foreplay and must use it whenever you want to discredit someone but that reflects on your fucked up life not mine. So knock yourself out.

    Reply
  35. justifiable | July 6, 2007 at 2:32 pm

    And you know she didn’t write any of this – which would require a modicum of introspection. Paris’ idea of introspection showed when Larry King asked her what personality trait she’d change about herself and she said she didn’t like how her voice got high pitched when she gets nervous.

    Reply
  36. VeryLiberating.com | July 6, 2007 at 2:49 pm

    Gold. It’s just pure gold.

    http://www.veryliberating.com

    Reply
  37. JazzyJeff | July 6, 2007 at 2:50 pm

    Wow, it’s like everything Ms. Hilton writes should be put to music. She should have somebody following her around writing down everything that comes to her. She could then perform it and then it’s just platinum albums forever! (XD)

    Reply
  38. rosie's mustach | July 6, 2007 at 2:53 pm

    #31. Yep guilty as charged I am incredibly judgmental of worthless celebrities and I have NEVER been wrong about them. Hollywood is TOXIC and no positive changes will ever come out of it. I can make the most intense judgment on a celebrity and they always turn out tobe 10 times worse than my worst preconceived notion.
    Honestly I’d be glad if I was wrong, one less worthless whore in the media teaching people to value the wrong things sounds good to me. All those who support her are entitled to their opinion (sorry I almost peed myself laughing but, unlike my troll I CAN control my bodily functions) but, I will never support this person. She could turn into the second coming of Mother Theresa and I’d still say “Meh… a little too little a little too late” BUT, I would admit she’d changed. So lets all see each back here in the next couple of years and we’ll see if the bitch changes. Either way it’s win, win for all the haters. It’s always win, win for celebrity haters. We can’t stand their bullshit, so if they clean up their acts we don’t have to feel like vomiting every time we walk by a newsstand or turn on the television if (in all likelihood) they continue being human excrement then we get to laugh at them.

    My judgements of whore celbrities are in NO WAY the same as my thoughts on regular hard working, non-attention whore, everyday people who I choose to give the benefit of the doubt.

    Reply
  39. jrzmommy | July 6, 2007 at 2:56 pm

    Sounds exactly like “I only hate niggas”

    Reply
  40. rosie's mustach | July 6, 2007 at 2:56 pm

    *to be
    *each other
    *and if

    Reply
  41. rosie's mustach | July 6, 2007 at 3:11 pm

    Considering I lived in Africa and used to cry until I fell asleep every time I saw an ounce of racism and actually got hurt trying to stand up against a racist pig (the doughnut loving kind) I don’t think I qualify for your judgment. (I am not the least bit ashamed that I cried anyone with a heart would)

    Nope it’s pretty different I have no respect for people who lead greedy lives in a world full of starving homeless children.

    I also have no respect for pedophiles, rapists, wife beaters, etc… See I have no respect for destructive, selfish, greedy behavior whether it comes from a lesbian, a Native American, a man or a woman. If you are so concerned by prejudice why would you defend a known racist and homophobe who is on tape throwing around filthy slurs, a rich white family with servants 9ya I’m sure the Hilton empire was built on equal treatment of all people, just like all the rich white families empires… old money= pretty fucked up shit.

    Reply
  42. rosie's mustach | July 6, 2007 at 3:12 pm

    P.S. This is a celebrity trashing website, remember.

    Reply
  43. jrzmommy | July 6, 2007 at 3:14 pm

    You’ve got an excuse for everything.

    Reply
  44. rosie's mustach | July 6, 2007 at 3:14 pm

    *ya
    *old WHITE money = pretty fucked up shit

    Reply
  45. rosie's mustach | July 6, 2007 at 3:21 pm

    …and you’ve got an answer for nothing.

    If you think that trashing celebrities is the same as racism then what have you been doing here all along on THE SUPERFICIAL insulting celebs along with the rest of us.

    Reply
  46. no more bimbos please | July 6, 2007 at 3:28 pm

    oh great, now CNN is ruined

    Reply
  47. chris | July 6, 2007 at 3:40 pm

    #11-

    Who’s prejudging anybody? I’m JUDGING based on years and years of idiotic behavior. I’d say she has to prove something before people start thinking she’s magically changed.

    Reply
  48. Bern | July 6, 2007 at 3:46 pm

    I finally know what will play at my wedding reception.

    Reply
  49. Regina George | July 6, 2007 at 4:33 pm

    It seems like everyone from this post may be gone, but I have to jump in on rosie’s mustache’s side here…

    What bothers me about Paris Hilton is her sense of entitlement, her absolute inability to contribute anything useful to society (even with her millions) and her conviction that she is truly talented. That isn’t prejudging. Thats what I’ve learned from years of having her forced down my throat.

    I too know people who have been to prison, and people who have been to rehab, and they have changed. But here’s the difference. In clips of Paris Hilton’s interview that I saw on the web, she said she still believed she had been treated unfairly. She still has not accepted responsibility for her actions, or that those actions had serious consequences. Secondly, she blatantly lied about her drug use. The first step in recovery is stopping the lies that any addict tell – to yourself, your family, and your friends. Paris isn’t in recovery for anything, she’s simply a loathesome, selfish person.

    But the worst thing about Paris? She seems to think we are all as stupid as she is.

    Reply
  50. Matthew | July 6, 2007 at 5:04 pm

    Judge not, that ye be not judged.

    For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

    And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

    Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?

    Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

    …and you call yourselves Christians…

    Reply

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