Paris finds new, creative ways to hate Nicole

Paris_Hate_Song.jpgYou probably already know that some monkey in a business suit gave Paris Hilton a record deal, and it probably took a night of binge drinking to finally get past it. But you’re gonna have to crack out the schnapps all over again, because there’s more. On her album, she’s including a track that insiders say is a shrill, childish attack at Nicole Richie. In it, Paris sings about how Nicole would never be famous without her, and may or may not repeat the word ‘bitch’ a few dozen times.

What is it about being bitchy, slutty, and dangerously close to the legal definition of retarded that gets these girls movie roles and goddamn record deals? Is that all the talent you need to become a star these days? Because I don’t see Glenn Close showing all her friends a Meryl Streep sex tape, and then Meryl Streep recording a song about how much 102 Dalmatians sucked. Then again, maybe that’s just the difference between legitimate fame and syphilis.