Paris Hilton’s Made $1.3 Billion Since 2005

January 4th, 2012 // 87 Comments

And now for the part of the day where I create an anger in you so deep, mole creatures are left homeless in its wake. (I’ll make it up to you, Jordan Bratman. I promise.) Via Us Magazine:

“I’m involved in my products every step of the way. My fragrances are doing really well at the moment,” Hilton tells FHM UK’s January issue. “They’ve produced more than $1.3 billion in revenue since 2005.”
“I have 35 stores and 17 product lines. And then there’s my racing team, my 14 fragrances and my new project, the Paris Hilton Beach Club chain. The first one is opening in the Philippines soon. It’s going to have nightclubs, restaurants, bars, gyms. Everything really.”

And now for the part where I create an anger in Republicans so deep, yadda yadda mole creatures… Democrats want to tax the shit out of Paris Hilton.

Enjoy your second term, Mr. President.

Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News


  1. Wow.. and that doesn’t even include all the revenue from whoring around!

    • CranAppleSnapple

      I figured that was her outlay, so to speak. Surely she’s the john.

    • Artofwar

      ….Do not be misled by the diarrhea laced words that spew from this waste of skeet juice mouth. This cum reciprocal doesn’t actually own any of the companies she mentioned to a major or even minor degree.

      Paris Hilton’s net worth is a mere 45 million dollars—which may I add is 45 million dollars more than this maggot cunt infested she-bitch is humanly worth.

      And on to another partial living abortion–Kim Kardashaslut’s net worth is 35 million and gaining.

      Don’t you all just love America–a country where firemen, teachers, and war veterans are being evicted from their homes but Mega-Sluts as the aforementioned and the likes are worth millions?

      God bless America my ass—if he exists why would he???….Artofwar

    • Jim Jones

      All that money still won’t fix that herpes problem…

      • Schmidtler

        artofwar, idk wtf you live, but here in NJ, on every street I see older retired couples and widows forced out of homes they’ve lived in their entire lives because they can’t afford the skyrocketing property taxes that go up up up every year to pay for the salaries and benefits of firemen, cops and school teachers – who are then the only ones left in town that can afford to buy the houses off the old retired people and widows.

  2. So she was born rich and then parlayed a sex tape into an even larger pile of money?

  3. Guest

    revenue =/= “made”

    • Mel Gibson

      Fucking hate accountants

    • Venom

      Thank you not to mention that she does not actually own those companies and is just a figurehead for the backers.
      For example, Michael Jordan merchandise has been around for decades and has grossed way more than that in sales and he is not even remotely close to being a billionaire yet.

      Trying to explain economics to the masses is futile, don’t waste your time.
      She can say whatever the hell she wants, I only believe audited financial statements and IRS filings.

    • Clarence Beeks

      exactly. her COMPANY may have made the money off stupid tasteless people, but she has not made that personally.

  4. Random

    Your title sucks. 1.3 billion in revenue is not the same as 1.3 billion profits.

    • it had to be said

      Sure. Her overhead is, say, 90%. Still more than most people make in a lifetime. What would her overhead have to be for her not to be filthy, STD wealthy?

      • Richard McBeef

        If overhead on some shitty fragrance for high school girls is 90% you are doing it the fuck wrong. I’ll grow you up a 1000 gallon Candida culture and you can put that shit in bottles and deliver it to the mall.

        Then we can roll around in filthy ass money and snort coke of each other’s dicks.

      • Richard McBeef

        off, others

        Dr. Frank, still looking for that proofreader…

      • it had to be said

        Richard, that was a response to Random. I have no idea what her overhead is, but $1.3B is an enormous amount of money, and Random seemed to be missing that point.

      • Richard McBeef

        well fine then IHTBS. I’ll find somebody else that wants to roll around in filthy money and snort coke of each others dicks.

      • I’m a doctor now? Are they just giving those titles away? I mean, where do YOU go to get them, McBeef?

      • It’s one of those Senator Jon Kyl “90%” statistics. “His remark was not intended to be a factual statement.”

      • It's the kimkim, bitches

        TomFrank, doctor school, duh!
        Beef, I’ll be your proofreader. And if you really need someone to roll around in filthy ass money with you and snort coke off your dick, I can help with that too. I’m a multi-tasker. Did I mention I make an awesome turkey sandwich?

      • Richard McBeef

        I address most people as either Doctor or Professor. Which one you want?

      • Richard McBeef

        I’m quite intrigued by your turkey sandwich, Prof. KimKim. But I have been looking at colonoscope pictures of diseased colons for much of the afternoon, when not chatting with elderly folks about the consistency and frequency of the diarrhea that is rotting them from the inside. so let’s forgo the former and just have a sandwich, alpine lace swiss please.

      • Yeah, better hire kimmy. As I recall, pay is commensurate with breast size, and mine aren’t even big enough to go bombada-bombada-bombada when I laugh.

        I’ll take “Prof.”

      • cheezbox

        HER overhead? She’s just a figurehead. The company who produces them may have made $100m in profits (a big maybe), of which a small fraction will go to Paris. No, she does not deserve $20 million, but that’s a far cry from trying to claim she has “made $1.3 billion”. I know this is a trashy gossip site, but this headline is so unbelievably wrong.

    • CranAppleSnapple

      I know how you feel, Richard. My cat has the runs.

  5. it had to be said

    I told you guys she was hott. Although, in fairness, I didn’t see it either until I saw $1.3B.

  6. I’d marry her money, as long as it was treated with germicide, herbicide, ultraviolet light, etc., first.

  7. sc4play

    Bastard!! Ruin my f**kin’ afternoon, will ya’??

  8. Amazingly, not one cent of it was donated to help contribute to world humanity.

    Sticking whore.

    • 1) how do you know this and 2) who says people with money have to donate a dime? I hate fucking liberals.

    • Typical bleeding heart. She doesn’t have to give shit to anyone. I make about 45k a year but since I’m self employed the government taxes the shit out of me. I get nothing in return except more fucking grief. Fiscally conservative/Socially Moderate.

      • So they won’t let you drive on any public roads, the police or fire department won’t respond if you have an emergency and they let your trash just pile up outside your house? That does really sound unfair.

      • Mr bleeding heart: again learn something before posting idiotic comments. The taxes on gasoline pay for our public roads. Property taxes pay for teachers, politics etc. My social security, Medicare and income taxes pay for the public assistance. The latter is what pisses me off!

      • Police not politics

      • You said you didn’t get anything for paying your taxes, I just pointed out things that you did get so you would feel better and/or stop whining. But it’s like they say, first world problems really are the worst.

  9. And she did it all with a flash of a crotch, and a dick stuck in her. Right. Just like any other hardworking millionaire/billionaire did.

  10. God damn, I love this country. Where else can s simple heiress make that kind of money in spite of videos of her chugging cock still floating around the Internet.

    • Father Karras

      In spite of or because of?
      I’d love this country even more if it were my cock she were chugging AND I got a slice of that money. Until then…I will just kinda love it.

    • poor whore

      yeah, where else can the uber rich become uberer rich… what a magical place.

      • why don’t you just move to a socialist country then? Or better still, a Communist one, where everybody is equally poor?

      • Yeah, go to fucking Europe where all the Socialist policies have broke just about every country.

      • So when someone makes a minor complaint about the rich getting richer, they should move somewhere else? But when you or others like you complain about people on government assistance (which has been going on for about as long as the country has existed), you don’t have to move? That totally seems fair.

    • Actually public assistance in this country started during the depression; FDR to be exact. The damn liberals decided to make it permanent. Go read some fucking history books.

      • Not true at all. Actually public assistance would have started after the Civil War during Reconstruction but it wasn’t permanent.

        I see you didn’t address the hypocrisy of your statement either. Well done sir. And way to resort to swearing, that really makes you seem smart when trying to make a comment about education.

      • Also if you think of public assistance in a broader sense, every American is on it. State and local governments all receive money from the federal government which if pulled, would cause your local tax rate to somewhat skyrocket and that has been around forever.

  11. Archies_Leach

    Sweet Paris needs to give some of that to Dina and Kris as pity money.

  12. kirby

    maybe there isn’t a god???

    • Schmidtler

      oh c’mon, you doubt there’s an invisible magical omnipotent force in the universe that somehow, despite creating everything and possessing infinite power, seemingly does not give a shit about murder, rape, starvation and genocide?

  13. Evil Dick Tater

    Sure she’s worth 1.3 billion but the catch is it’s all in Valtrex coupons.

  14. Bill Clinton

    $1.3B will buy an awful lot of Valtrex

  15. blast from the past

    In a new tell-all book written by former Girls Gone Wild cameraman Ryan Simkin, Joe Francis is accused of allegedly being stupid enough to use Paris Hilton’s vagina of all landfills as his personal coke mule, according to The Hollywood Reporter. Then again, I probably shouldn’t underestimate the convenience of large storage capacity:

    Hilton was leaving for Europe, Simkin writes, and he alleges he brought her a little Camel cigarette box filled with cocaine and ecstasy for her trip.

    “I asked if she was flying private, and she said, ‘No, commercial.’ And then as politely as I could, I asked her how she planned on traveling with that amount of blow and X,” Simkin writes in the book. “She held the box in her right hand, and then with an underhand swoop like a lower case J, she demonstrated exactly how she intended to beat airport security. She even whistled as she did it. A little alley-oop with the Camel Box, straight up her snatch. Classic.“

    © Copyright the Superficial – 2010. All rights reserved

  16. Paris Hilton Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Has she done something to her face? Her eyes look off. And she looks 40.

  17. RHL

    Regardless of how much she made, she never took a dime out of my pocket and she is actually paying taxes. Which is more than half of the people in America can say paying no taxes while on medicaid, food stamps, etc.

    So maybe you should get a job, get off of government programs, and then you probably won’t even have time to read posts about rich celebrities and business people you hate.

    • Grand Dragon

      Hear, hear.

    • So in order to live without government assistance, you probably have to take a job that allows you zero free time? I’m not sure that’s true…

    • Schmidtler

      or maybe I should have been born to billionaire parents who never earned a dime of their money, and parlayed my position in life to become a shameless std infested attention whore?

  18. Paris Hilton Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “Made” and “Revenue” are completely different things Superfish. If a store sells a bottle of Paris perfume for $80, Paris herself probably makes off with 5-10%, pre-taxes. Still a travesty. I guess prostitution IS the oldest career in the world.

  19. Grand Dragon

    Don’t hate this dumb cunt for making money, hate all the idiots that bought her shit. The money didn’t appear out of thin air.

  20. All that money and still no cure for the herp. You’re doing it wrong.

  21. Nicole

    $1.3b, I had no idea porn paid that well.

  22. anonym

    when you’re born into money, making more money is easy.

    You need moneh to make moneh

  23. cc

    Regardless of what the gross or net margins are on the 1.3 billion, it’s far more than she deserves.

  24. Akare

    She is looking old. Look at her face, it is just like looking at her mom, but skinny.YUCK

  25. Paris Hilton Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Annnnd I’m unemployed. Depressing.

  26. Scott

    Maybe she could use some of that moolah for a nose job.

  27. The Critical Crassness

    That’s an awful lot of time spent on your knees earning 10 cents a BJ…..

  28. Alex

    I’m always questioning just who in the hell buys this shit and goes to a fucking club with Paris Hilton in the name? Then I remember New Jersey and everything makes sense.

  29. Blech

    A huge part of me is just happy she’s not Kim-Kan’t-Keep-Her-Kunt-Shut Kardashian.

    That said, congratulations, Ms. Hilton.

  30. forrest gump

    but don’t panic.

  31. Nick

    There is a difference between her saying she made 1.3 billion and attaching her name to businesses that made 1.3 billion.

    • Johnny Cochran's Tumor

      Thank you Nick. I’m sick of hearing every vapid model, heiress, and rap star being called successful businessperson when all they are doing is investing money or image into a product or service that somebody else is doing all the grunt work on.

      I don’t dispute that success can be defined by large profits, and many businesspeople invest, but a person investing money and making a profit is NOT a definition of “successful businessperson.” If it were, them a fucking “successful businessperson” too because my stock picks are are up.

      • Johnny Cochran's Tumor

        Sorry, I meant to say “If it were, then *I’m* a successful businessperson too because my fucking stock picks are up …”

        …too much ranting, not enough editing.

  32. FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  33. Paris Hilton Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    That 1.3 billion did well purchasing those dime store titties for her. She must be on a 5-year cost-savings plan.

  34. Paris Hilton Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    *gollum gollum*

  35. BE

    Not to rain on anyone’s (anger) parade – but let’s look at this with a grain of reason.

    a. Paris – who hasn’t been able to get arrested lately is rationalizing her crappy behavior

    b. Great on the billions GROSSED. One can only hope a few Americans got jobs because of this vapid horse a rantula

    c. Paris herself probably is only worth 45 million. This might look fine until you realize that she’s done a sex tape, contracted herpes and generally worked her ass off to get disinherited from no less than 11 million and quite possibly 120 million. Depends on the accounting the day she would have inherited.

    d. Paris is passe. That vapid claim she made makes me believe that it’s occurred to her that she’s going to be a punch line for the rest of her life

    e. And it will be a SHORT life. What they don’t tell you and what people don’t want to hear about “living well with Herpes” is that the drugs that treat it ruin the liver and kidneys. Estimated time of death: about 40 percent earlier than the non sluts who didn’t contract it. And that’s including the inevitable transplants to extend the years.

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