Paris Hilton Upstaged Lindsay Lohan. For The Next 5 Minutes.

September 20th, 2010 // 56 Comments

Despite Lindsay Lohan‘s hunger for coke dominating the celebrity media, Paris Hilton‘s plea deal managed to make a small peep this morning when she pled guilty to cocaine possession and obstructing an officer. Read: “Oh, this is my friend’s purse.” She was sentenced to 200 hours of community service and a year’s probation which means absolutely dick in case you hadn’t noticed the strung-out redhead running over babies for sport. TMZ reports:

The judge informed Paris that she has been given a one year suspended sentence — which means if she is arrested for anything other than a minor traffic violation, she will spend 1 year behind bars.
The judge then warned Hilton, “The Clark County Detention Center is not the Waldorf Astoria.”

It’s more like.. the Hilton. *badum-CHING*

I’ll be here all week.

Photos: Getty


  1. anal-drippage-whores

    Die whore!!…..woohoo 1st noobs!

  2. Whatever, she’ll get get caught again and nothing will happen…probably more community service. I wish I lived on planet I Do What I Want!

  3. For Paris, community service means making appearances at nightclubs. Poor her.

  4. Dear Santa – I have been so good this year. It’s not material things I long for, but circumstances.
    Please circumstance this cunt into a jail for a few months.
    Thank U, milk & cookies in the usual place by the chimney.

  5. And seriously, enough with the Britney bashing on this site. Lindsay and Paris make Britney look like Mother fucking Teresa because if the worst thing she’s doing right now is walking outside without her bra on, we should be so lucky. GO BRITNEY!

  6. K

    Fish, I love you.

    • Sheena

      Me too.

      When Fish says things like: “It’s more like.. the Hilton. *badum-CHING*” I just go all melty inside… Or maybe that the part where I laugh until I pee myself.

  7. Mufasa

    Is that Todd Bridges in the background? In a courtroom? For a drug sentencing?

  8. Paris Hilton in Court
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    This is her “I’m seriously contrite” look.
    At least she knows how to dress for the courtroom. No Fuck You on her nails & boobs appropriately covered. Too bad.

  9. dude

    One does not simply slip into Paris. Its meaty gates are guarded by more than just herpes. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Wonky Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, crabs, erupting sores, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly.”

  10. Awe and here i was picturing paris n linds sharing a cell having monkey sex 23-7.

    The only one overdue to stick his fuckin mug out there now is michael lohan. Sup dude cat got ur tongue?

  11. Paris Hilton in Court
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks a bit distressed… not that I care.

  12. Anonymous

    Bah! I thought the Las Vegas’ District Attorney vowed to put her away? Politicians are all fucking talk.

    Good thing Paris will get popped for something again. She averaging using the “those aren’t my drugs” excuse to the law at least once a month nowadays.

  13. Mike Hawk

    Thats HOT!

  14. Photoshop Police

    It sure would be nice to have money.

  15. Kenny

    Stupid Spoiled Whore

  16. PariCunt

    What the fucking hell?!?!? This vapid cunt is busted with cocaine, and she only gets a wrist-slap?

    Joe Sixpack would be upstate in gen pop getting pounded in the ass by now.

    Fuck me.

  17. Deacon Jones

    She looks hotter than usual in that pic

  18. Paris Hilton in Court
    Commented on this photo:


  19. Court

    BTW: The Waldorf Astoria is a HILTON Brand hotel.

  20. Paris Hilton in Court
    Doc Schweinstrudel
    Commented on this photo:

    she is pretty here xx

  21. Doc Schweinstrudel

    she looks pretty here

  22. Rocky's Bullwinkle

    She has a nose for trouble…

  23. Paris Hilton in Court
    Commented on this photo:

    First pictures of her that I would say she doesn’t actually look like a cum dumpster. Not saying I would hit that … just don’t get all vomity.

  24. tally

    getting sources from tmz is like getting a story from the tabloids only half of it is true

  25. Marcus

    Is pretty too nice of a word to describe her? i would let her give me her herps…

  26. obiwansidisi

    Hate all you want, she’s more gorgeous than you’ll ever be! What does it say for a person whose “Mugshot” (a picture taken when you’re looking the absolute worst) is 10 times better looking than any picture you’ve ever taken in your life. Don’t hate her because you ain’t her…

    • GiveItARest

      and just WHO the fuck would wanna be HER? a spoiled wonky eyed, crab and herpes infested pussy having, stuck up USEless BITCH. fuck her AND you…

    • I wouldn’t mind at all being Paris Hilton considering all the perks she has in life, the money, the lack of responsibility etc etc etc. It wouldn’t be a bad gig.

  27. SHELBY

    What kind of slut shows cleavage to court?

  28. kz

    I’m one of the few people who really doesn’t mind Paris. I know she’s like, 110% fake (Fake hair, tan, eyes, nose, etc), but she doesn’t go around talking smack like Katy Perry. All she has to do is look stupid. If you watch her documentary, you’ll see she’s not an idiot. I’m not saying she’s a world leader, but she’s not the worse thing Hollywood’s ass has spewed.

  29. grobpilot

    First pic looks like she’s trying to suck out some clumped-up semen from between her front teeth. A blowjob was probably part of her plea deal from the prosecutor

  30. One of the masses

    It would make my day if Paris and Lindsay both spontaneously combusted and we could all watch. I’m SICK to death of spoiled little tramps and their ‘get out of jail free’ news.

  31. Paris Hilton in Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, she looks old, especially in pic 3. nasty.

  32. Rimba

    Aww, motherfucker! Well, I guess it’s time to hire friend to hang outside the car window with a katana ready to slice. Since she’ll be working in the ditch beside the road picking up trash. AHAHAAHAHAHA!!

  33. anonym

    what do i get if i possess a bag of cocaine?

    right. 4 years in jail.

    preferential treatment, motherfuckers.

  34. Paris Hilton in Court
    Commented on this photo:

    is it just me or in pic # 3 she has a small hole in her dress waist?

  35. RasputinsLiver



    What an absolute TREAT it is to see that spoiled bitce’s fakey smile wiped off her shiteous face!

    Hate this dumb, narcissistic, worthless cunt.


  36. LJ

    Ain’t it great what money will buy you?

  37. JollyJumJuck

    FTA: “…which means if she is arrested for anything other than a minor traffic violation, she will spend 1 year behind bars.”

    I am honestly willing to bet anyone on this site real currency, and I will even give 100 to 1 odds, that she will *never* serve a day in real jail in her life, no matter what she does. She could kill half the people of a small country in a genocidal rampage, and the judge would shake his finger at her Babu-style and say, “You are a very bad girl. Very, very bad!” And that would be the end of it.

  38. Paris Hilton in Court
    Yoda Mann
    Commented on this photo:

    Honestly, the lead pic you chose was the first time I ever thought she looked hot.

    Clark Kent: I’ve been in contact with a lot of krypton-infected people, and it never ends with us shaking hands or being friends…

    You, Superficial Writer, have been warned.

  39. Paris Hilton in Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Why can’t she ever leave he house without fake lashes on? As a girl AND a makeup artist this annoys me.

  40. captain america

    damnit: BUSTED!!!!

  41. TAB

    Amazingly she manages to be inappropriately over-dressed for court..AND sashes out as well as if to say, “ha, ha, take that! Another mere slap on the wrist! That’s so HOTT!”

    STDs anyone?

  42. Someone who is born into priviledge does not understand or comprehend the meaning of reality. Rich people are not born with class, they are born with money. She will not serve 1 year in jail if she is arrested again. Instead, she will serve another 6 or 7 weeks in jail and act like she’s being put to death. Some idiotic News media station will pay her a million or two so they can interview her and get the ‘exclusive’ look at Paris behind bars part two. She will lament that she has learnt her lesson and that drugs are bad and that the experience has changed her.

    Then, when released, she will go celebrate by flying to Europe, going to a club, and snorting lines in the Ultra VIP area because she doesn’t care.

  43. bugsy

    For all you stupid spoiled brats, Lindsay Lohan, and parris Hilton, please get fired, no I am not jellous, I go to church and very happy. I hope they replace you with better class. Parris Hilton has only been on b rated movies from what I have seen. Please Hollywood do something about them two, there gross to look at, and there making a mockery of governments. I hope they both end up homeless doing there coke.

  44. bugsy

    One more thing, Hollywood needs to get rid of b class actresses, or keep them on b rated movies. The way the economy is who would wanna watch spoiled brats with all that money,and getting away with doing snort. People get jail time with two drinking violations, they get away with felony drug possession. You people make good actresses look bad. I dont like parris, or Lindsay. Hollywood stop making them let you look bad.

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