Despite Lindsay Lohan‘s hunger for coke dominating the celebrity media, Paris Hilton‘s plea deal managed to make a small peep this morning when she pled guilty to cocaine possession and obstructing an officer. Read: “Oh, this is my friend’s purse.” She was sentenced to 200 hours of community service and a year’s probation which means absolutely dick in case you hadn’t noticed the strung-out redhead running over babies for sport. TMZ reports:
The judge informed Paris that she has been given a one year suspended sentence — which means if she is arrested for anything other than a minor traffic violation, she will spend 1 year behind bars.
The judge then warned Hilton, “The Clark County Detention Center is not the Waldorf Astoria.”
It’s more like.. the Hilton. *badum-CHING*
I’ll be here all week.
Photos: Getty
anal-drippage-whores | September 20, 2010 at 12:31 pm
Die whore!!…..woohoo 1st noobs!
Melissa | September 20, 2010 at 12:34 pm
Whatever, she’ll get get caught again and nothing will happen…probably more community service. I wish I lived on planet I Do What I Want!
Georgio | September 20, 2010 at 12:35 pm
For Paris, community service means making appearances at nightclubs. Poor her.
FrankNfrtr | September 20, 2010 at 12:36 pm
Dear Santa – I have been so good this year. It’s not material things I long for, but circumstances.
Please circumstance this cunt into a jail for a few months.
Thank U, milk & cookies in the usual place by the chimney.
Melissa | September 20, 2010 at 12:37 pm
And seriously, enough with the Britney bashing on this site. Lindsay and Paris make Britney look like Mother fucking Teresa because if the worst thing she’s doing right now is walking outside without her bra on, we should be so lucky. GO BRITNEY!
Melissa got it updabum | September 21, 2010 at 4:02 am
Die Britney!
K | September 20, 2010 at 12:38 pm
Fish, I love you.
Sheena | September 20, 2010 at 12:43 pm
Me too.
When Fish says things like: “It’s more like.. the Hilton. *badum-CHING*” I just go all melty inside… Or maybe that the part where I laugh until I pee myself.
Mufasa | September 20, 2010 at 12:38 pm
Is that Todd Bridges in the background? In a courtroom? For a drug sentencing?
dude | September 20, 2010 at 12:57 pm
One does not simply slip into Paris. Its meaty gates are guarded by more than just herpes. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Wonky Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, crabs, erupting sores, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly.”
Yoda Mann | September 20, 2010 at 10:26 pm
I bow to your literary references. Thou art Dennis Miller writ large.
dudeatdudedotdude | September 20, 2010 at 1:01 pm
Awe and here i was picturing paris n linds sharing a cell having monkey sex 23-7.
The only one overdue to stick his fuckin mug out there now is michael lohan. Sup dude cat got ur tongue?
Anonymous | September 20, 2010 at 1:11 pm
Bah! I thought the Las Vegas’ District Attorney vowed to put her away? Politicians are all fucking talk.
Good thing Paris will get popped for something again. She averaging using the “those aren’t my drugs” excuse to the law at least once a month nowadays.
Mike Hawk | September 20, 2010 at 1:27 pm
Thats HOT!
Photoshop Police | September 20, 2010 at 1:50 pm
It sure would be nice to have money.
Kenny | September 20, 2010 at 1:53 pm
Stupid Spoiled Whore
PariCunt | September 20, 2010 at 1:55 pm
What the fucking hell?!?!? This vapid cunt is busted with cocaine, and she only gets a wrist-slap?
Joe Sixpack would be upstate in gen pop getting pounded in the ass by now.
Fuck me.
Deacon Jones | September 20, 2010 at 2:04 pm
She looks hotter than usual in that pic
Court | September 20, 2010 at 2:20 pm
BTW: The Waldorf Astoria is a HILTON Brand hotel.
TAB | September 21, 2010 at 11:36 am
AND she grew up there!
Doc Schweinstrudel | September 20, 2010 at 2:28 pm
she looks pretty here
Rocky's Bullwinkle | September 20, 2010 at 2:30 pm
She has a nose for trouble…
tally | September 20, 2010 at 2:54 pm
getting sources from tmz is like getting a story from the tabloids only half of it is true
Marcus | September 20, 2010 at 2:56 pm
Is pretty too nice of a word to describe her? i would let her give me her herps…
obiwansidisi | September 20, 2010 at 3:16 pm
Hate all you want, she’s more gorgeous than you’ll ever be! What does it say for a person whose “Mugshot” (a picture taken when you’re looking the absolute worst) is 10 times better looking than any picture you’ve ever taken in your life. Don’t hate her because you ain’t her…
GiveItARest | September 21, 2010 at 5:04 am
and just WHO the fuck would wanna be HER? a spoiled wonky eyed, crab and herpes infested pussy having, stuck up USEless BITCH. fuck her AND you…
Dante Calamari | September 21, 2010 at 4:07 pm
I wouldn’t mind at all being Paris Hilton considering all the perks she has in life, the money, the lack of responsibility etc etc etc. It wouldn’t be a bad gig.
SHELBY | September 20, 2010 at 3:31 pm
What kind of slut shows cleavage to court?
TAB | September 21, 2010 at 11:34 am
VERY inappropriate for court!
kz | September 20, 2010 at 3:38 pm
I’m one of the few people who really doesn’t mind Paris. I know she’s like, 110% fake (Fake hair, tan, eyes, nose, etc), but she doesn’t go around talking smack like Katy Perry. All she has to do is look stupid. If you watch her documentary, you’ll see she’s not an idiot. I’m not saying she’s a world leader, but she’s not the worse thing Hollywood’s ass has spewed.
grobpilot | September 20, 2010 at 3:53 pm
First pic looks like she’s trying to suck out some clumped-up semen from between her front teeth. A blowjob was probably part of her plea deal from the prosecutor
One of the masses | September 20, 2010 at 4:37 pm
It would make my day if Paris and Lindsay both spontaneously combusted and we could all watch. I’m SICK to death of spoiled little tramps and their ‘get out of jail free’ news.
Rimba | September 20, 2010 at 5:28 pm
Aww, motherfucker! Well, I guess it’s time to hire friend to hang outside the car window with a katana ready to slice. Since she’ll be working in the ditch beside the road picking up trash. AHAHAAHAHAHA!!
anonym | September 20, 2010 at 5:39 pm
what do i get if i possess a bag of cocaine?
right. 4 years in jail.
preferential treatment, motherfuckers.
first | September 20, 2010 at 7:13 pm
h
RasputinsLiver | September 20, 2010 at 7:47 pm
*
Man!
What an absolute TREAT it is to see that spoiled bitce’s fakey smile wiped off her shiteous face!
Hate this dumb, narcissistic, worthless cunt.
*
LJ | September 20, 2010 at 8:54 pm
Ain’t it great what money will buy you?
TAB | September 21, 2010 at 11:32 am
Amazingly and still NO CLASS!
JollyJumJuck | September 20, 2010 at 10:08 pm
FTA: “…which means if she is arrested for anything other than a minor traffic violation, she will spend 1 year behind bars.”
I am honestly willing to bet anyone on this site real currency, and I will even give 100 to 1 odds, that she will *never* serve a day in real jail in her life, no matter what she does. She could kill half the people of a small country in a genocidal rampage, and the judge would shake his finger at her Babu-style and say, “You are a very bad girl. Very, very bad!” And that would be the end of it.
captain america | September 21, 2010 at 8:14 am
damnit: BUSTED!!!!
TAB | September 21, 2010 at 11:31 am
Amazingly she manages to be inappropriately over-dressed for court..AND sashes out as well as if to say, “ha, ha, take that! Another mere slap on the wrist! That’s so HOTT!”
STDs anyone?
Dante Calamari | September 21, 2010 at 4:12 pm
Someone who is born into priviledge does not understand or comprehend the meaning of reality. Rich people are not born with class, they are born with money. She will not serve 1 year in jail if she is arrested again. Instead, she will serve another 6 or 7 weeks in jail and act like she’s being put to death. Some idiotic News media station will pay her a million or two so they can interview her and get the ‘exclusive’ look at Paris behind bars part two. She will lament that she has learnt her lesson and that drugs are bad and that the experience has changed her.
Then, when released, she will go celebrate by flying to Europe, going to a club, and snorting lines in the Ultra VIP area because she doesn’t care.
bugsy | November 19, 2010 at 4:48 am
For all you stupid spoiled brats, Lindsay Lohan, and parris Hilton, please get fired, no I am not jellous, I go to church and very happy. I hope they replace you with better class. Parris Hilton has only been on b rated movies from what I have seen. Please Hollywood do something about them two, there gross to look at, and there making a mockery of governments. I hope they both end up homeless doing there coke.
bugsy | November 19, 2010 at 5:01 am
One more thing, Hollywood needs to get rid of b class actresses, or keep them on b rated movies. The way the economy is who would wanna watch spoiled brats with all that money,and getting away with doing snort. People get jail time with two drinking violations, they get away with felony drug possession. You people make good actresses look bad. I dont like parris, or Lindsay. Hollywood stop making them let you look bad.