Paris Hilton: Truth Knower

September 2nd, 2010 // 54 Comments
Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton wants everyone to know that she, and only she, truly knows what’s happening with her arrest for felony possession of cocaine, according to her Twitter:

These rumors going around are so ridiculous, untrue and cruel. I’m not going to even pay attention to them, because I know the truth.

And by rumors she must be talking about a month ago when she tweeted a picture of the purse she was arrested with that – as of this post – she claims she borrowed from a friend. Damn you, Paris from the Past! Always causing drama and running your mouth about shit you don’t even know about. Bitch, mind your own business.

Photo: Splash News


  1. JB

    First Bitch

  2. Third

    Damn…so close

  3. Taz

    Her body is perfect

    • absinthe

      Are you kidding? She’s bony, shapeless, and has no boobs.

      • Taz

        Big tits just sag over time and NO FAT CHICKS!

      • Mohammed's Taint

        She’s lanky and has big hands and feet, and a long neck. Praying mantis.

      • you left out her unnaturally long torso, her scoliosis curved spine, and general slackjawed facial expression.

      • llKarmen

        It’s the boob/rib thing. I’m straight, but if I was gonna stray to the furry side I’d go for the xylophone rather than the roles. But literally as I finished typing that, I remembered the ‘sand picking vagina pic’, that really is enough to put me off drinking from the furry cup completely.

      • What a dumbass

        You’ve got to excuse Taz; it’s the first time he’s seen a chick.

    • Alexandra Hemale

      Taz, I’d really love to see a picture of you. I have a feeling that you’re uglier than shit.

    • Mr. Nice Guy

      Taz, no parts on her are prefect, but she is perfectly sex as a total package.

  4. sobrietyisacrutch

    She doesn’t know the truth about implants and nose jobs, does she?

  5. That Guy

    I’d hit it. Under floodlights.

  6. all this is over 0.8g of blow? pathetic. just plead guilty and take your fucking sentence. nevada prisons are overcrowded so it’s not like you’ll see more than a week or two. fight it like a clever bitch and get 6 mos for the rolling papers alone, and 6 *years* for the coke. prison’s quite the cash cow business in nevada.

  7. Sardonic

    Predictable deluded sophomoric excuses from someone from a privileged background, a GED education and massive sense of entitlement. And she obviously watches ‘Cops’. ‘That ain’t mine! That belongs to my friend’. Uh, right….

  8. GravyLeg

    Busted Skank.

  9. girl who takes it in da butt

    hack. jail.

  10. Mansk

    What is she, 12?? She’s busted for cocaine possession, not defending middle-school rumors..

  11. “These rumors going around are so ridiculous, untrue and cruel. I’m not going to even pay attention to them, because I know the truth.”

    jesus christ, she’s 30 years old and reasons like a child.

    She isn’t a victim of “rumors”, she was arrested for felony cocaine possession. That’s not a rumor you dumb cunt, that’s real life!

  12. yeah, keep dreaming

    “These rumors going around are so ridiculous, untrue and cruel. I’m not going to even pay attention to them, because I know the truth”

    Maybe she won’t pay attention to them, but everyone else (including her marketing people) will. But I’m sure her people will be able to get her work hawking diamond encrusted bowels and gold snoorting tubes.

  13. Rough democracy

    I see dildo girl got a new moniker.

  14. Rough diplomacy

    Damn it@Keeping track at these names…

  15. Gando

    The frightening thing is;these were Paris Hilton’s good ol’ days.

  16. Nero

    What test was Doug Reinhardt here going through?!

  17. herbiefrog

    wanna he l p ? ?

    wh a t ?

    wer said nothing…

  18. mel gibson

    Free Paris

  19. paris

    You people are so mean to me. I’m only having fun, and everyone thinks they can lie about me. I’m so much better than everyone, and everyone is jealous. I won’t be going to jail; once they catch a gander at how beautiful and graceful I am, the judge will ask me out. Stop being haterz…

  20. Photoshop Police

    Sisterhood of the Traveling Drug Purse.

    None own it, all share in it’s mystical power of bull$#!* !

    Coming to a prison-theater near you.

  21. Sugar

    Cum dumpster

  22. Anon

    I really love her tits. I’m so sick of big sloppy ones now, hers are a breath of fresh air. I love how perky they are.

  23. I see the fledgling Nazi bigots are alive and, well….

  24. captain america

    ……………fooling americans is her way.

  25. Master Spook


    • Darth

      Nothing else to do than frightening 10-year old kids?!

      • Carolyn

        The only positive thought I have about her is that she had enough sense not to inflate her boobs into those hard half of grapefruit mountains that American men seems to find so mesmerizing. Other than that she does nothing more than take up space on the earth without doing a thing for anyone else. Anyone remember all her talk about becoming a do-gooder when she got out of prison?

      • Apparently she recently helped out some entrepeneur by purchasing a small amount powder from them. Doesn’t that count for community service?

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