Paris Hilton Still Thinks She’s A Real DJ

When Paris Hilton isn’t making bagoogles of money selling smelly water or setting women back forty years by claiming sexual assault victims just want attention, she’s DJ-ing… kind of. Honestly she’s probably just hitting play on a Macbook and throwing her arms up in between selfies with boyfriend/man-servant Chirs Zylka, who is in a tight race with Kylie Jenner for most idiotic tattoo of 2017 with this Disney-inspired mistake.

Hilton is clearly at the point in her life where she just doesn’t give a shit anymore. Digits seem to just appear in her bank account overnight and she doesn’t have any kids so it kinda makes sense. It’s fair though. I wouldn’t give a shit either.

So what kind of music is played at a Paris Hilton DJ set? Andrew Wowk told inthemix that “her transitions sound like trains colliding with lame horses, as she desperately tried to beatmatch basic four-to-the-floor rhythms to no avail.” Since Paris skipped the whole “knowing how to mix properly” and “having good taste in music” thing that is usually standard with most DJ’s, her show is mostly focused on what she’s wearing and if anyone can get close enough to smell her.

In these photos she’s dressed like some sort of dominatrix bunny rabbit covered in shiny shit. You can almost hear the disappointment ―oh wait… I can hear it! Thanks, YouTube!