Paris Hilton: ‘My Double Almost Hit Sarah Shahi, Not Me’

Last week, Sarah Shahi took to Twitter and tried to give me a word erection which is the only possible explanation for these series of tweets:

- Paris Hilton- worst driver ever. Almost hit me, then ran a stop sign.what if there was a kid around that corner, you dumb bitch
– Paris Hilton- horrible excuse for a human being
– What an irresponsible person… What a lame existence…
– “One more thing blonde piece of shit- you’re not an elitist just because you have money. You should apologize… To humanity.” nowi’mdone.

*tosses towel out of the way* Jump to last night, where Paris Hilton went on Extra and told Mario Lopez it couldn’t possibly have been her because she’s so pretty evil impostors are always trying to look like her:

“I was so shocked when I read that, too. First of all, I wasn’t even driving that day. I just came back from Vegas with my boyfriend — and we were home relaxing. I hadn’t even been in the car that day. I literally came with a driver from the airport went to my house. Then later on I read that, I’m like ‘Dude, I wasn’t even driving,’ so I don’t know. Maybe it was some other blonde girl who looked like me.”
She added, “There are a lot of Paris Hilton lookalikes, who do it for a living. They’re always doing things and I’m getting blamed for it. So this could be another incident like that.”

“It wasn’t me, it was my evil twin.” Wow, that’s basically what Paris Hilton just said. Somewhere, Lindsay Lohan just fired her lawyer for not using that defense in court. “What do you mean no one wants to look like me, Shawn? You jelly? Jelly of these? Oh, right, we’re on the phone. Okay, hold on, I’ll text you a picture of my tits. One second. — Mom! Where’s that lamp I use for tit photos? Found it! — Okay, back. What were you saying?”

Photos: INFdaily, Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News