Paris Hilton: ‘My Double Almost Hit Sarah Shahi, Not Me’

April 27th, 2011 // 32 Comments

Last week, Sarah Shahi took to Twitter and tried to give me a word erection which is the only possible explanation for these series of tweets:

- Paris Hilton- worst driver ever. Almost hit me, then ran a stop sign.what if there was a kid around that corner, you dumb bitch
- Paris Hilton- horrible excuse for a human being
- What an irresponsible person… What a lame existence…
- “One more thing blonde piece of shit- you’re not an elitist just because you have money. You should apologize… To humanity.” nowi’mdone.

*tosses towel out of the way* Jump to last night, where Paris Hilton went on Extra and told Mario Lopez it couldn’t possibly have been her because she’s so pretty evil impostors are always trying to look like her:

“I was so shocked when I read that, too. First of all, I wasn’t even driving that day. I just came back from Vegas with my boyfriend — and we were home relaxing. I hadn’t even been in the car that day. I literally came with a driver from the airport went to my house. Then later on I read that, I’m like ‘Dude, I wasn’t even driving,’ so I don’t know. Maybe it was some other blonde girl who looked like me.”
She added, “There are a lot of Paris Hilton lookalikes, who do it for a living. They’re always doing things and I’m getting blamed for it. So this could be another incident like that.”

“It wasn’t me, it was my evil twin.” Wow, that’s basically what Paris Hilton just said. Somewhere, Lindsay Lohan just fired her lawyer for not using that defense in court. “What do you mean no one wants to look like me, Shawn? You jelly? Jelly of these? Oh, right, we’re on the phone. Okay, hold on, I’ll text you a picture of my tits. One second. — Mom! Where’s that lamp I use for tit photos? Found it! — Okay, back. What were you saying?”

Photos: INFdaily, Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. ThisisnotTigerWoods

    Her face is getting pudgy.

    • Dorian Gray

      Yep. An eating disorder &/or plastic surgery is usually the next port of call for a young, rich female living an empty life in a fabulously narcissistic fishbowl.

  2. Paris Hilton Sarah Shahi
    TW
    Commented on this photo:

    Here, Paris can been seen in her larval stage, from which she will emerge as a lovely Robert Z’Dar.

  3. Ponkur

    She’s going to look like crap when she hits 40. What am I saying, she looks like crap now.

  4. Paris Hilton Sarah Shahi
    sweet
    Commented on this photo:

    rock on

  5. Paris Hilton Sarah Shahi
    sweet
    Commented on this photo:

    rock on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! METAL FIST

  6. sweet

    cool

  7. I know how she feels. I have a lookalike who is constantly exposing himself on the bus to young Asian girls wearing school uniforms. It’s really embarrassing to have to keep explaining that it’s not really me, and frankly I don’t even feel sorry for those girls, the way they giggle and point is very mean.

  8. tiffini

    Wow she looks like a fat sow with a bird beak #ugh #disgusting

  9. I’m not buying Paris story…it would have sounded more believable if she had said “who is Sara Shahi? Is she kitchen help?”

  10. Clarence Beeks

    she looks like SHIT lately. It is her ugliness coming out from the inside.

    Bullshit Paris. I’ll bet you were smoking a cigarette, texting on one device while talking on an another. Everyone knows you don’t give a shit about anyone but yourself.

  11. Unimate

    She’s so pretty.

  12. The simple solution is to test Sara for herpes of the eye. If she has it, it proves it was Paris she was looking at and not her double.

  13. Jimbo

    So can these Paris Hilton look alike suck start a Harley too?

  14. I used to want to have sex with her, but now I just feel sorry for her. I mean me. I mean I feel sorry for me for wanting to have sex with her. Now every time I rub one out, I feel like I have to disclose to my hand that I might have herpes, due to questionable masturbatory history.

  15. Frank Burns

    You just know Lindsay(tm) is going to read this and speed-her lawyer about using an evil-twin defense at court. “But Lindsay”, replies lawyer Holley, “nobody is as big a skank as you, so how could you have a twin? Its physically impossimable”. “Damn” says Lindsay(tm), “foiled by my own magnificent skankitude. . . I am kinda hot though”. Lindsay(tm) passionately kisses her reflection in the mirror, then finds her fingers slowly traveling slowly below her navel . . . and then the world goes black. Lindsay(tm) awakens a day later, half-naked, and buried beneath a mattress covered with cocaine, whiskey bottles, and chihuahua ejaculate. Soon back in court, lawyer Holley is forced to offer a defense involving Lindsay’s evil teleporting vagina. Heck, its no more ludicrous than Hilton’s evil twin or ‘I read the bible now’ assertions.

  16. ummm

    bullshit!!!

  17. CC

    Paris is probably telling the truth (did I just write that?). I work in film and have done a music video with a Paris Hilton look-a-like. There are many people out here who make a living impersonating other actors or as body doubles. This might be the only thing she’s ever said I believe.

    • Dick Douche, Private Eye

      Look out buddy, don’t let on that you believe it, otherwise Paris will be hiring a small army of doubles to go out and stir shit up just to give her some publicity.

  18. DeeMacD

    Who’s ego is bigger? Hers or Charlie Sheen’s?

  19. Sarah Shahi’s so hot, even Paris Hilton wants to hit it.

  20. the captain

    oh no, she hasn’t a double.
    ….BET?

  21. Paris Hilton Sarah Shahi
    yeah yeah yeah yeah
    Commented on this photo:

    Publicist: OK, black man! STAND HERE!

  22. s'up bitches

    “They’re Cousins, identical cousins so you’ll find…they talk alike, walk alike, even hmmm hmm alike, what a wacky pair! They’re Cousins! THEY’RE TWO OF A KIND MOTHER FUCKERS! RAAAWWWWWRRRRR!

  23. Kirk

    Sarah seems to have some personal issues. Inferiority complex is most obvious.

  24. Ally

    I believe Paris, I mean she could have made this a bigger deal to get publicity out of it, but she didn’t. I feel sorry for Sarah, she seems inraged. She’s just looking for some publicity. Sad really.

  25. Duke Steele

    Oh, the other herpes infected skank.

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